Steven May Sorrento Hotel Incident

[640MD 3,442]

20 hours ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Classic Ethan!!

Had me suckered in,

Baaastard   😁

[Demon17 5,207]

15 hours ago, Neil Crompton said:

You do me a great injustice Red. I didn’t get sucked in by Boney, I was simply the inventor of what later became known as the “forward press”. Smithy hated the idea when I outlined it to him, and refused to use it. Given the late final quarter circumstances, I thought I’d show him the benefits of such a move. The rest is history. Well before my time I was.

I suspect you know your history Neil. Thanks for the narrative above.

Its true that after the game Norm publicly rebuked Neil for doing what he did. Leaving his position which was a key team rule.

Amazing times.

[Ghostwriter 2,054]

17 hours ago, Bring-Back-Powell said:

Sounds like there's nothing in this one, but if the club had the choice of Steven May being out at 2am and Steven May not being out at 2am, they'd arguably take the latter given his history.

Geez I hope the MFC never finds a Genie’s lamp. Their making-a-wish game is sch!tt 😜

[Demon Disciple 12,280]

No no no no no Steven.

You’re an MFC player………Portsea Pub is more upper class and worthy of your presence than the riffraff of Sorrento.

[biggestred 5,148]

3 hours ago, Demon Disciple said:

No no no no no Steven.

You’re an MFC player………Portsea Pub is more upper class and worthy of your presence than the riffraff of Sorrento.

Please. Us true portsea people don't mix with the plebs at the pub. Why go to the pub when you've got your own view? 😂

[Demonstone 22,907]

Well, that didn't take long.  They've already made a movie about it.

The good news is that Steven May doesn't have a starring role.

 

[DubDee 26,148]

On 02/01/2025 at 20:25, Demonstone said:

Three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.  You can't tell me that's just a coincidence.

Bartender, these peanuts keep saying how good looking I am, is that normal?

Ahh, the nuts are complimentary

 

[Sideshow Bob 2,435]

2 blokes walk into a bar....

Why didn't the 2nd guy duck????

[Ghostwriter 2,054]

14 hours ago, DubDee said:

Bartender, these peanuts keep saying how good looking I am, is that normal?

Ahh, the nuts are complimentary

 

Mods, I think @Demonstone has hijacked @DubDee’s account!

[Demonstone 22,907]

That's my cue to repost this mashup of bar jokes and grammar nerd principles!

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

[Left Foot Snap 2,490]

28 minutes ago, Demonstone said:

That's my cue to repost this mashup of bar jokes and grammar nerd principles!

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender looks down and says"hey we have a drink in here named after you!"

The grasshopper says,"what - Kevin?"

 

I'll see myself out!!

[DubDee 26,148]

1 hour ago, Ghostwriter said:

Mods, I think @Demonstone has hijacked @DubDee’s account!

i’ve never been more complimented and insulted in my life 😊

[Grapeviney 9,826]

The best mixed metaphor I’ve seen was on a list of soccer commentary gaffes many years ago: 

Somewhere along the road, the ship ran off the rails. 

[Ghostwriter 2,054]

6 hours ago, Demonstone said:

That's my cue to repost this mashup of bar jokes and grammar nerd principles!

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out — we don’t serve your type.”
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar — fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

It’s bittersweet that a dvandva wasn’t at the bar 😉 

[Ugottobekidding 1,199]

A termite walk into the bar and asked is the bar tender here.

Edited Saturday at 20:25 by Ugottobekidding

[dpositive 1,730]

On something completely different

TWA is the ultimate Three Word Acronym

[picket fence 17,601]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face??

[waverleyheartbreak 89]

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the the barman, Was my brother here yesterday? Barman says , Dunno, what does he look like?

[BDA 22,909]

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.

He says, "A beer, please, and one for the road."

[Willmoy1947 4,150]

53 minutes ago, picket fence said:

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, why the long face??

Jesus picket you can do better than that

[Fritta and Turner 4,548]

20 hours ago, Grapeviney said:

The best mixed metaphor I’ve seen was on a list of soccer commentary gaffes many years ago: 

Somewhere along the road, the ship ran off the rails. 

Can I quote my sister

As fit as a Mallee trout

[picket fence 17,601]

4 hours ago, Willmoy1947 said:

Jesus picket you can do better than that

As Groucho Marx once said, "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and thats not saying much for you!"

[joeboy 3,169]

6 hours ago, dpositive said:

On something completely different

TWA is the ultimate Three Word Acronym

I thought that was me

[Grr-owl 1,254]

On 31/12/2024 at 08:01, Leopold Bloom said:

He posted a photo of wine glasses and a cheese board overlooking the vineyards on his Instagram story on Sunday.

Have we signed him?

[Redleg 41,619]

6 hours ago, picket fence said:

As Groucho Marx once said, "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and thats not saying much for you!"

Or, I wouldn’t join any club that would have me as a member.