Danny Frawley

[Binmans PA 26,214]

16 hours ago, Biffen said:

The AFLs need to attach every game to a cause or an issue is really irritating.

I dont like being told how to think ,or what to think about societal issues or personal values on matters the AFL thinks it can inform or "highlight".

Many of us go to the football,or turn on the game just to relax. 

I suppose people will will point to "The Big Freeze"  as a good way to raise funds for a worthy cause but it now seems to be every single game. 

You're not being told how to think. No one's forcing you to deal with your emotions if you refuse to. You can take or leave the message. Your precious rights are not being impinged.

And this is classic corporate liberalism/centrism. None of these organisations particularly care about any of the social issues they support, but they can talk about them at functions and be seen to be a reputable community 'brand', meanwhile often the toxicity that these organisations are said to be fighting remains completely unchecked. In the AFLs case it's also a way of promoting the event. It is what it is. Engage with it or don't.

Edited March 28, 2021 by A F

[BDA 20,172]

4 hours ago, A F said:

None of these organisations particularly care about any of the social issues they support, but they can talk about them at functions and be seen to be a reputable community 'brand', meanwhile often the toxicity that these organisations are said to be fighting remains completely unchecked.

Same could be said for parliament house

[chookrat 3,776]

I see that Spuds Game is as much about encouraging men to talk as it is to encourage us to look out for and listen to each other. Probably all of us will have either experienced or know people who have experienced mental health challenges and the more equipped we are to speak and/or listen it can only be a positive thing. Removing the stigma also makes it easier for people to seek professional help rather than suffer in silence.

[rjay 23,922]

6 hours ago, RickyJ45 said:

I'm sorry, it is not just my business but it is everyone's business so pretending you can say it is not my business and therefore it goes away is la la land (and pathetic attempted bullying btw). As I said, public figures should expect their personal lives to be a discussion point whether they like or not. For good or bad there is massive social/media industry covering public relationships and I am not alone amongst the millions doing this on the daily basis. You can abuse me for doing so but just get over it.

You keep mentioning that it was "Nicky's choice" and she has free will - as if you have just discovered yesterday that women do/should have in fact have equal rights to men like the right to choose and not be "pegged down" in controlling relationship as you are implying. However this does not justify Garry's behaviour or choices.

Since you know Garry and the issue well :

- To say Garry did not need to keep Bill in the loop ( I think he did btw, but not sure) is just completely dis-repectful to a mate, because if he was a true mate, he would know how it affected Bill and would have treated it with care or not involved himself at all. Bill was widely reported as being very angry about it.

- Did Garry expect this would have caused issues with Bill ? How was Bill likely to take it and how would he react? Did Bill need more help than what Garry could provide? Did Bill need professional help?  Is Bill the complete obsessive love-sick nut job as he is being painted by you ?

As Garry is a public advocate of mental health, please tell us the answers so we can all :

1) Learn and benefit from the lessons here, does love conquer all?

2) Clean up any miss-correct media stories or public relations errors in releasing / covering this...

 

Give it up...no one knows the real story & each of the participants will have their own version.

It's their business & raking over it here serves no purpose.

[Lord Nev 13,511]

8 hours ago, RickyJ45 said:

I'm sorry, it is not just my business but it is everyone's business so pretending you can say it is not my business and therefore it goes away is la la land (and pathetic attempted bullying btw). As I said, public figures should expect their personal lives to be a discussion point whether they like or not. For good or bad there is massive social/media industry covering public relationships and I am not alone amongst the millions doing this on the daily basis. You can abuse me for doing so but just get over it.

You keep mentioning that it was "Nicky's choice" and she has free will - as if you have just discovered yesterday that women do/should have in fact have equal rights to men like the right to choose and not be "pegged down" in controlling relationship as you are implying. However this does not justify Garry's behaviour or choices.

Since you know Garry and the issue well :

- To say Garry did not need to keep Bill in the loop ( I think he did btw, but not sure) is just completely dis-repectful to a mate, because if he was a true mate, he would know how it affected Bill and would have treated it with care or not involved himself at all. Bill was widely reported as being very angry about it.

- Did Garry expect this would have caused issues with Bill ? How was Bill likely to take it and how would he react? Did Bill need more help than what Garry could provide? Did Bill need professional help?  Is Bill the complete obsessive love-sick nut job as he is being painted by you ?

As Garry is a public advocate of mental health, please tell us the answers so we can all :

1) Learn and benefit from the lessons here, does love conquer all?

2) Clean up any miss-correct media stories or public relations errors in releasing / covering this...

 

Pathetic.

Here you go:

https://www.magshop.com.au/Products/NIW/new-idea-magazine-subscription?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIz7HM6YLU7wIVCZ1LBR02SgpzEAAYASAAEgJ17fD_BwE

[Demon3 2,541]

This is a vile thread, absolutely vile. Some should be ashamed making this a point scoring opportunity. 

 

[hardtack 10,127]

8 hours ago, RickyJ45 said:

You keep mentioning that it was "Nicky's choice"

8 hours ago, RickyJ45 said:

“pegged down" in controlling relationship as you are implying.

8 hours ago, RickyJ45 said:

Is Bill the complete obsessive love-sick nut job as he is being painted by you ?

Wow! You really are the master of extrapolation!

[roy11 2,930]

It is a shame this thread has gotten sidetracked.

Anything that promotes mental health illness/support/treatmewnt/awareness and advocates more discussion surrounding the topic should long continue.

The AFL previously had a Beyond Blue round, but uncertain if that is a thing anymore?  

 

 

 

[Sydee 3,630]

41 minutes ago, roy11 said:

It is a shame this thread has gotten sidetracked.

Anything that promotes mental health illness/support/treatmewnt/awareness and advocates more discussion surrounding the topic should long continue.

The AFL previously had a Beyond Blue round, but uncertain if that is a thing anymore?  

 

 

 

Agree - it almost a given in this day and age that having a balanced respectful discussion without people pushing their own agenda or being respectful is not possible 

This is not just a reflection of Demonland but also main stream media and social media 

It seems very easy for some to lose sight of the real issues and big picture 

[hardtack 10,127]

1 hour ago, roy11 said:

It is a shame this thread has gotten sidetracked.

Anything that promotes mental health illness/support/treatmewnt/awareness and advocates more discussion surrounding the topic should long continue.

The AFL previously had a Beyond Blue round, but uncertain if that is a thing anymore?  

Unfortunately it was never on track as the topic when created, was started as a pot shot at Garry Lyon. It was the ensuing discussion that put it on track (well, for a short while).

Edited March 29, 2021 by hardtack

[kev martin 9,215]

The  mental health system in Australia is inadequate. 

Often, it is impossible to get an admission unless you are very unwell. Probably, only if you are actively suicidal. Most beds are taken up by those who are involuntarily admitted. 

Of course there are general practitioners who can refer you to psychologists. Though that is for a waiting list. Getting psychiatric help is limited as there aren't enough psychiatrist. 

If you can get admitted, the wards, can be a difficult place for recuperation. Often, there are people with personalities problems that are not the best to be around (manipulators,  aggressive,  selfish). All the variety of diagnostics are in the same ward. The paper work of the staff can lead to less face to face assistance ànd leaves the client feeling ignored or alone.

The people making decisions on your behalf are rarely seen. It all becomes a bit like just a boarding house and time with medications becomes the healer.

Our mental health programs require a complete overhaul, with a massive funding boost to create better facilities, in patient and outreach, better housing and supports, more education of staff and developing more target specific medications.

Social conditions for the suffering causes a "revolving door", where adequate basics such as housing and safe living conditions don't exist. Often the mentally vulnerable are placed in the same substandard accommodation as the criminal class. They then become a pharmaceutical outlet, as criminals use standover tactics or manipulation to deprive those with a disease or disability, their means to stability. Pretty soon they end up back in the hospital, filling those much in demand beds.

Until we get our system right, then friends and community are our best bet in keeping us safe and sound

 

 

Edited March 29, 2021 by kev martin

[layzie 28,931]

I thought the tribute was excellent. This was the first game I've missed in 3 years and I really wish I was there. Talk to your mates, don't keep it inside.

[Youngwilliam 380]

Getting someone to talk about their mental problems is a very difficult thing. People who are on the brink of removing themselves from society have already convinced themselves that nobody cares and how the people around them would be better off without them. 

People who suffer mental illness can hate being asked if they are ok. People with mental illness think nobody notices them and asking them if they are OK too much doesn't inspire them to talk but to throw up more walls.

Getting that person to seek professional help... that is another battle. Push too hard and more walls will be thrown up.

The message isn't just for the people to check in on mates but to let the sufferers know their friends and family will listen and help where they can. Talking does alot.

Edited March 29, 2021 by Youngwilliam

[kev martin 9,215]

38 minutes ago, Youngwilliam said:

Getting someone to talk about their mental problems is a very difficult thing. People who are on the brink of removing themselves from society have already convinced themselves that nobody cares and how the people around them would be better off without them. 

People who suffer mental illness can hate being asked if they are ok. People with mental illness think nobody notices them and asking them if they are OK too much doesn't inspire them to talk but to throw up more walls.

Getting that person to seek professional help... that is another battle. Push too hard and more walls will be thrown up. This is where I am right now.

The message isn't just for the people to check in on mates but to let the sufferers know their friends and family will listen and help where they can. Talking does alot.

You are right.

Those fine lines, patronising or needed, (The asking of 'are you OK').

Genuineness is required, intention is to help and prioritise that person right now. Make yourself available both as assisted or the assistee (if that is a word).

The reach out for professional help should always be encouraged. 

No more sitting with the anguish, no more silence, too many have been lost when it could be just getting over the next bump in the landscape of life.

Let's make that call for help an easy one. No more stigma, or going it alone.

Find a friend who will be available 24 hrs. Keep their network number or web link close to you. Use it, when those times are tough, like a mental health emergency call.

It is hard, but we don't want to lose you.

Take a deep breath and call out, we will listen.

Edited March 29, 2021 by kev martin

[Rodney (Balls) Grinter 10,586]

Today is R U ok day, so I thought it an appropriate time to give this thread a bump.  I read this thread at the time it was first started for 'Spud's Game' , but wasn't quite ready to respond at that time. 

Late in 2020, sadly my wife took her own life after a long and painful struggle with depression and lack of self worth.

Somethings which struck me about this thread were two pretty polarised views of either talking to your freinds/mates/colleagues Vs seeking professional help.  It also seemed as if posters were exchanging these opposing views in a way which somewhat lacked the care and sensitivity the subject deserves.

For what it's worth, here are a few of My own first hand observations and oppinions:

The R U ok / have a chat to your mates is a good message worth elevating.  There are times (and there were several throughout my late wife's journey through life) when friends and colleagues may be more attune to something being a miss and / or could be someone the person requiring help is more likely to respond to and connect with in that moment than a medical professional.  I am truely greatful for the caring and courageous conversations which a number of my late wife's freinds and colleagues had with her at various stages, without which she may not have been with us as long as she was.

Not contradictory at all to the important role which trusted freinds and family can play, I would also strongly encourage and implore for anyone with mental health issues to seek the right professional help through their GP or a professional counselor to address their issues at the root cause.  Here in part lies a catch 22 where good support from genuinly caring friends family and colleagues is of high value - from first hand experience, professional counselling is practically challenging to access at the times when it's most needed due to the high demand and a severe lack of trained professionals.  It can take weeks and months to access a psychologist right now in 2021 and I dare say it's been that way for a while (That isn't to discourage anyone from persisting to get access to one, it's just the harsh reality right now).

I am genuinely greatful to Majak Daw for the honest and open way in which he shared his experiences with depression and near brush with suicide as part of the ongoing efforts to de-stigmatise mental health and suicidal thoughts.

Having lived with someone with severe depression for almost 20 years, I have some understanding and empathy for those suffering from this horrible pain and debilitating illness, but can't say that I truely know what it feels like to be in that place myself.  What I can say though, if anyone is at a point of desperation, please know that there are people who would deeply care if you were not here.  Right now one of the main things keeping me going is trying desperately to look after the welfare and mental health of our beutiful kids who deeply grieve their mother and the lifetime they will be without her.  Even if you have no immediate family, I'm sure there is someone who cares, but it's also the sad irony that even those who do have people who do care feel as if no one does care about them and I see that as part of the need for professional assistance to help cut through those deep feelings of lack of self worth.


On matters closer to this forum, the season the mighty Demons are having has bought some joy to my life and that of my youngest son, who is now also a mad Demons supporter (for life I reckon) and No.1 BBB fan.  It could be a very bitter sweet moment if we can pull it off and win the flag this year, in multiple ways whether we can make it in person or not, but whatever happens it's a matter of perspective. 

Take care of those around you and yourself.  For what it's worth, I genuinely enjoy the banter and sense of community from all online here at Demonland.

Edited September 9, 2021 by Rodney (Balls) Grinter

[The heart beats true 16,233]

18 minutes ago, Rodney (Balls) Grinter said:

Today is R U ok day, so I thought it an appropriate time to give this thread a bump.  I read this thread at the time it was first started for 'Spud's Game' , but wasn't quite ready to respond at that time. 

Late in 2020, sadly my wife took her own life after a long and painful struggle with depression and lack of self worth.

Somethings which struck me about this thread were two pretty polarised views of either talking to your freinds/mates/colleagues Vs seeking professional help.  It also seemed as if posters were exchanging these opposing views in a way which somewhat lacked the care and sensitivity the subject deserves.

For what it's worth, here are a few of My own first hand observations and oppinions:

The R U ok / have a chat to your mates is a good message worth elevating.  There are times (and there were several throughout my late wife's journey through life) when friends and colleagues may be more attune to something being a miss and / or could be someone the person requiring help is more likely to respond to and connect with in that moment than a medical professional.  I am truely greatful for the caring and courageous conversations which a number of my late wife's freinds and colleagues had with her at various stages, without which she may not have been with us as long as she was.

Not contradictory at all to the important role which trusted freinds and family can play, I would also strongly encourage and implore for anyone with mental health issues to seek the right professional help through their GP or a professional counselor to address their issues at the root cause.  Here in part lies a catch 22 where good support from genuinly caring friends family and colleagues is of high value - from first had experience, professional counselling is practically challenging to access at the times when it's most needed due to the high demand and a severe lack of trained professionals.  It can take weeks and months to access a psychologist right now in 2021 and I dare say it's been that way for a while (That isn't to discourage anyone from persisting to get access to one, it's just the harsh reality right now).

I am genuinely greatful to Majak Daw for the honest and open way in which he shared his experiences with depression and near brush with suicide as part of the ongoing efforts to de-stigmatise mental health and suicidal thoughts.

Having lived with someone with severe depression for almost 20 years, I have some understanding and empathy for those suffering from this horrible pain and debilitating illness, but can't say that I truely know what it feels like to be in that place myself.  What I can say though, if anyone is at a point of desperation, please know that there are people who would deeply care if you were not here.  Right now one of the main things keeping me going is trying desperately to look after the welfare and mental health of our beutiful kids who deeply grieve their mother and the lifetime they will be without her.  Even if you have no immediate family, I'm sure there is someone who cares, but it's also the sad irony that even those who do have people who do care feel as if no one does care about them and I see that as part of the need for professional assistance to help cut through those deep feelings of lack of self worth.


On matters closer to this forum, the season the mighty Demons are having has bought some joy to my life and that of my youngest son, who is now also a mad Demons supporter (for life I reckon) and No.1 BBB fan.  It could be a very bitter sweet moment if we can pull it off and win the flag this year, in multiple ways whether we can make it in person or not, but whatever happens it's a matter of perspective. 

Take care of those around you and yourself.  For what it's worth, I genuinely enjoy the banter and sense of community from all online here at Demonland.

I can not tell you how much respect I have for you for sharing your story. I’m very sorry for your, and your families, loss.

It’s been documented here a few times in different threads that I’ve had my own struggles with mental health - and like you I can very much attest to the value of good professional help.

Life can be hard, but it can be also be amazing and so surprising. Who would have thought I would come here today and read such a heartfelt, and deeply personal story as yours? It’s ok to not see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s always a wise decision to get the help you need to light the way for you, until you can see it again.

So very brave of you, and so important. Thanks again for sharing. You made me feel really lucky to be connected to this weird, wonderful community of online Demon fanatics.

I’ll be barracking extra loud now tomorrow night - for you and your family. Go Dees!

[Demon Disciple 11,020]

@Rodney (Balls) GrinterSorry to hear of your loss and it puts life in to perspective.

Demonland is definitely a place to share and to be heard, and was at least a small place of solace for me when I suffered a big loss back in 2017.

Here’s hoping the team gets up tomorrow night to bring some joy to both yourself and your son.

 

[DubDee 20,715]

1 hour ago, Rodney (Balls) Grinter said:

Today is R U ok day, so I thought it an appropriate time to give this thread a bump.  I read this thread at the time it was first started for 'Spud's Game' , but wasn't quite ready to respond at that time. 

Late in 2020, sadly my wife took her own life after a long and painful struggle with depression and lack of self worth.

Somethings which struck me about this thread were two pretty polarised views of either talking to your freinds/mates/colleagues Vs seeking professional help.  It also seemed as if posters were exchanging these opposing views in a way which somewhat lacked the care and sensitivity the subject deserves.

For what it's worth, here are a few of My own first hand observations and oppinions:

The R U ok / have a chat to your mates is a good message worth elevating.  There are times (and there were several throughout my late wife's journey through life) when friends and colleagues may be more attune to something being a miss and / or could be someone the person requiring help is more likely to respond to and connect with in that moment than a medical professional.  I am truely greatful for the caring and courageous conversations which a number of my late wife's freinds and colleagues had with her at various stages, without which she may not have been with us as long as she was.

Not contradictory at all to the important role which trusted freinds and family can play, I would also strongly encourage and implore for anyone with mental health issues to seek the right professional help through their GP or a professional counselor to address their issues at the root cause.  Here in part lies a catch 22 where good support from genuinly caring friends family and colleagues is of high value - from first hand experience, professional counselling is practically challenging to access at the times when it's most needed due to the high demand and a severe lack of trained professionals.  It can take weeks and months to access a psychologist right now in 2021 and I dare say it's been that way for a while (That isn't to discourage anyone from persisting to get access to one, it's just the harsh reality right now).

I am genuinely greatful to Majak Daw for the honest and open way in which he shared his experiences with depression and near brush with suicide as part of the ongoing efforts to de-stigmatise mental health and suicidal thoughts.

Having lived with someone with severe depression for almost 20 years, I have some understanding and empathy for those suffering from this horrible pain and debilitating illness, but can't say that I truely know what it feels like to be in that place myself.  What I can say though, if anyone is at a point of desperation, please know that there are people who would deeply care if you were not here.  Right now one of the main things keeping me going is trying desperately to look after the welfare and mental health of our beutiful kids who deeply grieve their mother and the lifetime they will be without her.  Even if you have no immediate family, I'm sure there is someone who cares, but it's also the sad irony that even those who do have people who do care feel as if no one does care about them and I see that as part of the need for professional assistance to help cut through those deep feelings of lack of self worth.


On matters closer to this forum, the season the mighty Demons are having has bought some joy to my life and that of my youngest son, who is now also a mad Demons supporter (for life I reckon) and No.1 BBB fan.  It could be a very bitter sweet moment if we can pull it off and win the flag this year, in multiple ways whether we can make it in person or not, but whatever happens it's a matter of perspective. 

Take care of those around you and yourself.  For what it's worth, I genuinely enjoy the banter and sense of community from all online here at Demonland.

Thanks for sharing mate. 

I can’t imagine how hard things must be for you at the moment. Stay strong and you’ll get through it and your kids will forever be grateful to you for helping them through this time. 

[Born to Run 204]

1 hour ago, Rodney (Balls) Grinter said:

Today is R U ok day, so I thought it an appropriate time to give this thread a bump.  I read this thread at the time it was first started for 'Spud's Game' , but wasn't quite ready to respond at that time. 

Late in 2020, sadly my wife took her own life after a long and painful struggle with depression and lack of self worth.

Somethings which struck me about this thread were two pretty polarised views of either talking to your freinds/mates/colleagues Vs seeking professional help.  It also seemed as if posters were exchanging these opposing views in a way which somewhat lacked the care and sensitivity the subject deserves.

For what it's worth, here are a few of My own first hand observations and oppinions:

The R U ok / have a chat to your mates is a good message worth elevating.  There are times (and there were several throughout my late wife's journey through life) when friends and colleagues may be more attune to something being a miss and / or could be someone the person requiring help is more likely to respond to and connect with in that moment than a medical professional.  I am truely greatful for the caring and courageous conversations which a number of my late wife's freinds and colleagues had with her at various stages, without which she may not have been with us as long as she was.

Not contradictory at all to the important role which trusted freinds and family can play, I would also strongly encourage and implore for anyone with mental health issues to seek the right professional help through their GP or a professional counselor to address their issues at the root cause.  Here in part lies a catch 22 where good support from genuinly caring friends family and colleagues is of high value - from first hand experience, professional counselling is practically challenging to access at the times when it's most needed due to the high demand and a severe lack of trained professionals.  It can take weeks and months to access a psychologist right now in 2021 and I dare say it's been that way for a while (That isn't to discourage anyone from persisting to get access to one, it's just the harsh reality right now).

I am genuinely greatful to Majak Daw for the honest and open way in which he shared his experiences with depression and near brush with suicide as part of the ongoing efforts to de-stigmatise mental health and suicidal thoughts.

Having lived with someone with severe depression for almost 20 years, I have some understanding and empathy for those suffering from this horrible pain and debilitating illness, but can't say that I truely know what it feels like to be in that place myself.  What I can say though, if anyone is at a point of desperation, please know that there are people who would deeply care if you were not here.  Right now one of the main things keeping me going is trying desperately to look after the welfare and mental health of our beutiful kids who deeply grieve their mother and the lifetime they will be without her.  Even if you have no immediate family, I'm sure there is someone who cares, but it's also the sad irony that even those who do have people who do care feel as if no one does care about them and I see that as part of the need for professional assistance to help cut through those deep feelings of lack of self worth.


On matters closer to this forum, the season the mighty Demons are having has bought some joy to my life and that of my youngest son, who is now also a mad Demons supporter (for life I reckon) and No.1 BBB fan.  It could be a very bitter sweet moment if we can pull it off and win the flag this year, in multiple ways whether we can make it in person or not, but whatever happens it's a matter of perspective. 

Take care of those around you and yourself.  For what it's worth, I genuinely enjoy the banter and sense of community from all online here at Demonland.

Thank you for your post. The impact of depression is so wide and far reaching. I agree that any communication is beneficial as it starts something, hopefully for lasting positive effect. I salute you for what you no doubt have done as a carer, husband and father.

so many of us are looking for a big finish to the season, but if we get there, it will be extra special to some. You are one of those and I hope they can pull it off for you and your family. 

[Rod Grinter Riot Squad 5,636]

1 hour ago, Rodney (Balls) Grinter said:

Today is R U ok day, so I thought it an appropriate time to give this thread a bump.  I read this thread at the time it was first started for 'Spud's Game' , but wasn't quite ready to respond at that time. 

Late in 2020, sadly my wife took her own life after a long and painful struggle with depression and lack of self worth.

Somethings which struck me about this thread were two pretty polarised views of either talking to your freinds/mates/colleagues Vs seeking professional help.  It also seemed as if posters were exchanging these opposing views in a way which somewhat lacked the care and sensitivity the subject deserves.

For what it's worth, here are a few of My own first hand observations and oppinions:

The R U ok / have a chat to your mates is a good message worth elevating.  There are times (and there were several throughout my late wife's journey through life) when friends and colleagues may be more attune to something being a miss and / or could be someone the person requiring help is more likely to respond to and connect with in that moment than a medical professional.  I am truely greatful for the caring and courageous conversations which a number of my late wife's freinds and colleagues had with her at various stages, without which she may not have been with us as long as she was.

Not contradictory at all to the important role which trusted freinds and family can play, I would also strongly encourage and implore for anyone with mental health issues to seek the right professional help through their GP or a professional counselor to address their issues at the root cause.  Here in part lies a catch 22 where good support from genuinly caring friends family and colleagues is of high value - from first hand experience, professional counselling is practically challenging to access at the times when it's most needed due to the high demand and a severe lack of trained professionals.  It can take weeks and months to access a psychologist right now in 2021 and I dare say it's been that way for a while (That isn't to discourage anyone from persisting to get access to one, it's just the harsh reality right now).

I am genuinely greatful to Majak Daw for the honest and open way in which he shared his experiences with depression and near brush with suicide as part of the ongoing efforts to de-stigmatise mental health and suicidal thoughts.

Having lived with someone with severe depression for almost 20 years, I have some understanding and empathy for those suffering from this horrible pain and debilitating illness, but can't say that I truely know what it feels like to be in that place myself.  What I can say though, if anyone is at a point of desperation, please know that there are people who would deeply care if you were not here.  Right now one of the main things keeping me going is trying desperately to look after the welfare and mental health of our beutiful kids who deeply grieve their mother and the lifetime they will be without her.  Even if you have no immediate family, I'm sure there is someone who cares, but it's also the sad irony that even those who do have people who do care feel as if no one does care about them and I see that as part of the need for professional assistance to help cut through those deep feelings of lack of self worth.


On matters closer to this forum, the season the mighty Demons are having has bought some joy to my life and that of my youngest son, who is now also a mad Demons supporter (for life I reckon) and No.1 BBB fan.  It could be a very bitter sweet moment if we can pull it off and win the flag this year, in multiple ways whether we can make it in person or not, but whatever happens it's a matter of perspective. 

Take care of those around you and yourself.  For what it's worth, I genuinely enjoy the banter and sense of community from all online here at Demonland.

Great post, thanks for sharing.

 

I cannot reiterate how important it is to seek professional help, it took me way too many years to do! I was diagnosed and treated for PTSD and when a trauma specialist in Alice Springs says you are one of the worst cases she has experienced, you know I was pretty [censored] up. Without that help, I doubt I would be here today, I just wish I sought it out years ago, but it’s never too late and with the right help you can be in a better place than I thought possible, but taking the first step is so damn hard, but so worthwhile!

[Rodney (Balls) Grinter 10,586]

Thanks all for the kind words of sympathy.

I'm really hoping for the fairy tale ending for the MFC this season and then next for all our sakes, not just mine.  As I said in my previous post, it will be bitter sweet for me, but if it happens, I'll be absolutely stoked, as I'm determined to move forward enjoying life.

An old friend of mine who worked in a somewhat mundane insurance administration job once emphised the importance of having hobbies and interests as a way of keeping realitively sane and having something to look forward to in life.  I'd go further and say that when you can do this in a comunity setting with good social connections, it's even better.

Even at the lower points of our season when things were looking kind of bumpy after losses to the Crows, Pies, Hawks and Giants, following the mighty Demons this season has been a welcome distraction from life and something to look forward to at the end of the week.  If we don't pull it off this year, there will always be next few seasons, when our list should be right in it's prime window (as I said right through the 90s!!).

Edited September 9, 2021 by Rodney (Balls) Grinter

[Rodney (Balls) Grinter 10,586]

BTW, some good resources and suggestions for how to go about R U ok conversations on their website https://www.ruok.org.au/

Edited September 9, 2021 by Rodney (Balls) Grinter

[Half forward flank 1,022]

8 hours ago, Rodney (Balls) Grinter said:

Today is R U ok day, so I thought it an appropriate time to give this thread a bump.  I read this thread at the time it was first started for 'Spud's Game' , but wasn't quite ready to respond at that time. 

Late in 2020, sadly my wife took her own life after a long and painful struggle with depression and lack of self worth.

Somethings which struck me about this thread were two pretty polarised views of either talking to your freinds/mates/colleagues Vs seeking professional help.  It also seemed as if posters were exchanging these opposing views in a way which somewhat lacked the care and sensitivity the subject deserves.

For what it's worth, here are a few of My own first hand observations and oppinions:

The R U ok / have a chat to your mates is a good message worth elevating.  There are times (and there were several throughout my late wife's journey through life) when friends and colleagues may be more attune to something being a miss and / or could be someone the person requiring help is more likely to respond to and connect with in that moment than a medical professional.  I am truely greatful for the caring and courageous conversations which a number of my late wife's freinds and colleagues had with her at various stages, without which she may not have been with us as long as she was.

Not contradictory at all to the important role which trusted freinds and family can play, I would also strongly encourage and implore for anyone with mental health issues to seek the right professional help through their GP or a professional counselor to address their issues at the root cause.  Here in part lies a catch 22 where good support from genuinly caring friends family and colleagues is of high value - from first hand experience, professional counselling is practically challenging to access at the times when it's most needed due to the high demand and a severe lack of trained professionals.  It can take weeks and months to access a psychologist right now in 2021 and I dare say it's been that way for a while (That isn't to discourage anyone from persisting to get access to one, it's just the harsh reality right now).

I am genuinely greatful to Majak Daw for the honest and open way in which he shared his experiences with depression and near brush with suicide as part of the ongoing efforts to de-stigmatise mental health and suicidal thoughts.

Having lived with someone with severe depression for almost 20 years, I have some understanding and empathy for those suffering from this horrible pain and debilitating illness, but can't say that I truely know what it feels like to be in that place myself.  What I can say though, if anyone is at a point of desperation, please know that there are people who would deeply care if you were not here.  Right now one of the main things keeping me going is trying desperately to look after the welfare and mental health of our beutiful kids who deeply grieve their mother and the lifetime they will be without her.  Even if you have no immediate family, I'm sure there is someone who cares, but it's also the sad irony that even those who do have people who do care feel as if no one does care about them and I see that as part of the need for professional assistance to help cut through those deep feelings of lack of self worth.


On matters closer to this forum, the season the mighty Demons are having has bought some joy to my life and that of my youngest son, who is now also a mad Demons supporter (for life I reckon) and No.1 BBB fan.  It could be a very bitter sweet moment if we can pull it off and win the flag this year, in multiple ways whether we can make it in person or not, but whatever happens it's a matter of perspective. 

Take care of those around you and yourself.  For what it's worth, I genuinely enjoy the banter and sense of community from all online here at Demonland.

So sorry to hear your story champ. Love to your kids and family. You have expressed perfectly my thoughts through some personal experience with the , talk to your mates, strategy. Although comforting and well meaning it can be a bit light the old style footy coach rev up, it gets you going for a little bit but is not sustainable. In many cases depression is a chemical inbalance, or a lack of a certain chemical, so it takes an very experienced professional, phyciatrist  to spot and treat. My own description of severe clinical depression is imagine, walking down a corridor and a door closes, that door is the faces of your workmates and acquantances disappearing, you keep walking, another door, as it closes you lose the image of your extended family and good friends, and on you go until at the last door you lose an image and connection to your closest loved ones. You are all alone, no one can help you. 

Edited September 9, 2021 by Half forward flank