The Jack Watts in 2018 Thread

[Barney Rubble 1,576]

5 minutes ago, Cards13 said:

the whole box and dice?? fk you're a tough marker BRubble.

If you wish. Why not?

Just about all of them lack substance

[Mazer Rackham 14,971]

Three pages now. OP will be pleased. It's hard to eke out the responses in the off season but JW is a faithful topic guaranteed to draw us in regardless of time place and circumstance.

[Ugottobekidding 1,242]

Cannot believe this thread is still going - just a bit of light humour for the pre-season. I guess the JW is still in the psyche...

[jumbo returns 6,741]

I loved him......once

[puntkick 325]

In short this thread is cactus !

[Little Goffy 14,750]

I heard he was going to star as the lead in a remake of 'Robin Hood: Men in tights'.

That'll hurt us.

[Goffer 256]

The talk of the AFL community this last month has been Ports trading. I'm not convinced though. Rockliff, Watts and Motlop were moved on by their respective clubs for cultural issues. Looking at Port I'm not sure they are a club with the internal culture to turn around three careers like that. Take Toumpas for instance, he was a high draft pick like Watts and has stagnated in their VFL side (bearing in mind their 2016 side was distinctly average and this year we showed better form for most of the season)- despite this they renewed his contract last week. Watts has better tools but the same attitude, I'm not sure Port can trade their way into contention 

[puntkick 325]

21 minutes ago, Little Goffy said:

I heard he was going to star as the lead in a remake of 'Robin Hood: Men in tights'.

That'll hurt us.

I thought I heard he never went in tite 

[MudDogs Gawn Win.. someday 499]

I think the more important question is. Jack who? Who cares anymore. Doesn’t play for us anymore. Couldn’t care less.

[What 18,810]

Have forgotten about him already.

Could not care less what he does at Port.

[deelete my account 1,194]

Every time Fritsch takes a hanger for us, i will be reminded of what JW made us pay.

Edited November 22, 2017 by Deeprived Childhood

[Skuit 10,031]

Rename it 'The No JW No J/O Thread' and we could maybe push this one out to a thousand odd pages.

[machine11 142]

14 hours ago, Ugottobekidding said:

Cannot believe this thread is still going - just a bit of light humour for the pre-season. I guess the JW is still in the psyche...

I can Jack Watts was legendary... his name alone can generate 50 pages on a post. I will miss Jack. His kicking for goal left me less nervous than some of his teammates.

[jnrmac 20,276]

20 hours ago, Big Carl said:

Finishing 21st in our B & F this year!

Comtrived result by MFC coaching staff. Just as believable as Jake Lever finishing outside Adelaide's top 10.

So tell us all of the great games Jack played this year?

Pedo and Salem played less games and finished higher in the B&F

[Fork 'em 7,043]

Kicked one for the ages against Collingwood in the QB.
And that was about .... It.
 

[dl4e 5,851]

Well why don't we just look forward to the brave hard at ya, no holds barred gallantry of Watts and Motlop in the Port forward line. Comedy hour please and pass me the next beer.

[hemingway 7,633]

I love Jack so much that I want this thread to continue into eternity. 

[daisycutter 29,892]

1 hour ago, hemingway said:

I love Jack so much that I want this thread to continue into eternity. 

hmmmm, ernie, are you trying to hang onto his coat-tails to reach eternity yourself? didn't see you as a band-waggoner.......won't work anyway

Edited November 23, 2017 by daisycutter

[DV8 2,271]

On 11/21/2017 at 5:59 PM, Ugottobekidding said:

GREAT player. Will we regret this when he ha a premiership medal and we just miss the finals. Fire away. Remember play the post not the man(similar to play the ball not the man or your booked).

Yeah, best player ever, out on the traps, on the night clubbing scene.

Best, since lucas cook played butter boy.

Willy, make us all pay.  Jack already is,  we are paying to free him, from the confines of our poor list.

Edited November 23, 2017 by DV8

[Guest]

Maybe Jack can forge a sponsorship deal with Skwosh and Demonland every time a thread about him appears? He could monetize the angst over him.

Answer to the question is: if he does, do you think this turnaround would have happened at Melbourne?

Some players just need out of certain environments. In certain cases, they are reluctant but it’s what they need.

Think of Paul Salmon in 1995, Plugger in 1994 or Barry Hall in 2009. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter discussing the who’s, what’s or why’s. It’s just not going to happen.

[daisycutter 29,892]

occams razor says 'nah'

[Bring-Back-Powell 15,253]

It was fantastic to read and hear that Watts made the bottom 50 of the Bigfooty's world famous "Moffra's bottom 50". As in he's deemed to be the 35th worst player of 2017.

 

Player 35 - Jack Watts


Pictured: Getting some head is an often misunderstood term

It may have escaped the Bay's attention, but there is a player in the AFL called Jack Watts.

He's 196cm tall, quick, has sticky hands (I mean on the field you dirty people) and is a beautiful user of the ball. On paper he should be a star.
Problem is, AFL is a contact sport and Jack deals about as well with contact as your average soccer striker.


Above: almost as bad as Clayton Oliver, presumably mentored by Watts

He was taken at pick 1 in the 2008 draft, which hurts even more because every other pick 1 has been a superstar *cough*.
Taken at pick 2 in the same draft was the walking marketing phenomenon NicNat who is the best in the AFL in his position when fully fit. Other stars taken in the top ten that draft include Vickery, Hurley and Yarren making it closer to a police line up than a draft class.
It's also the year for notable hairstyles with some important inspirations:


Julian "Not Convicted" Assange


Side Show Bob


Tom Hanks in Castaway


Side Show Cecil

Jack Watts hasn't exactly set the world on fire since his career began in a gang-tackle at the MCG - he's been handy from time to time but in no way has lived up to the hype. Granted Melbourne's development program has screwed more teenagers in the past few years than a Justin Bieber party held in Seaford but Jack just doesn't play a modern, contested, desperate style of football. Seems like the perfect AFL X player though (unlike many their other early Melbourne picks who have become AFL ex players).

He did play well against Essendon (as a Brighton Grammar Private Schoolboy he obviously has strong morals) and then the rest of the season happened. A 5 kick effort the next week, hamstring issues, then intensity issues. Some of his chases from round 18 onwards would have been better handled (and more entertaining) if performed by Wilde E Coyote. Showing all the intensity of fairy floss he was banished to the VFL for a couple of weeks before earning a recalla farewell game in the last round.

It seems he's on the trade table to either Port or Geelong, which means he'll probably be the first Brighton Grammar product to set foot in that part of the world. Hope he's brushed up on his "youse" and "yeah-nah" in preparation otherwise the locals will have no idea what he's actually saying.

Jack, good luck with your new home. With a solid pre-season I'm sure we'll see you back on your knees in no time.
Votes this time will be counted, welcome to the Bottom 50 for 2017.

[machine11 142]

19 hours ago, Little Goffy said:

I heard he was going to star as the lead in a remake of 'Robin Hood: Men in tights'.

Skwosh pants  I reckon

[Bobby McKenzie 2,401]

Please mods close this stupid, meaningless thread. It only gives the Watts haters more opportunity to vent their unbelievable hatred for Jack. He is a Port player now through no fault of his own!  We have had enough on Jack, quite enough.

[Dees2014 2,377]

Yes.....big time!!