Critiquing the content not the person

[Engorged Onion 10,215]

Some friday musings over a coffee or 4...

We bang on about mental health on here, yet numerous posters prefer to attack the man vs the content. Now I'm not coming from a holier than thou perspective, I am coming from a compassionate perspective and we've no idea really how someone feels when their attacked - even if their response would suggest they're cool with it.

Personally, I get quite upset (angry AND sad) when I see some posters critiquing others on here rather than the content. Would love a 3 strikes and you're banned for a bit rule.

 

[Ethan Tremblay 30,861]

So 'critiquing' a poster can effect their mental health? 

Ignore the poster and find some inner fortitude. We are creating a world of soft people who can't cope with any sort of adversity or challenge.

It's scary. 

Edited July 14, 2017 by Ethan Tremblay

[Smokey 4,389]

Australian men of the great war/s didn't charge machine gun pits with bayonets so people can cry over comments on an online forum. Borderline embarrassing.

 

[bush demon 2,041]

34 minutes ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

So 'critiquing' a poster can effect their mental health? 

Ignore the poster and find some inner fortitude. We are creating a world of soft people who can't cope with any sort of adversity or challenge.

It's scary. 

Not to mention how players who are constantly sledged on here - Dean Kent is a current example. I'm sure Clarrie could straighten out a few of these snipers. 

[ding 5,126]

51 minutes ago, Danelska said:

Some friday musings over a coffee or 4...

We bang on about mental health on here, yet numerous posters prefer to attack the man vs the content. Now I'm not coming from a holier than thou perspective, I am coming from a compassionate perspective and we've no idea really how someone feels when their attacked - even if their response would suggest they're cool with it.

Personally, I get quite upset (angry AND sad) when I see some posters critiquing others on here rather than the content. Would love a 3 strikes and you're banned for a bit rule.

 

So you want to see others given a holiday because you feel some vicarious anger........ even though you admit that the responses you read indicate the poster wasnt upset..... because YOU were they deserve a ban...........

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Biffen 12,943]

14 minutes ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

So 'critiquing' a poster can effect their mental health? 

Ignore the poster and find some inner fortitude. We are creating a world of soft people who can't cope with any sort of adversity or challenge.

It's scary. 

Whenever I cop criticism from anyone I stick my fingers in my ears and say "naa-na-na,I can't hear you" until they finish talking.

Similarly,when I'm late to meet somebody I blame traffic or some other peripheral occurrences.

When my ideas are based on a fantasy and reason is used to counter them I run to my safe space and wait for the bad ideas to go away.

I can recommend such a strategy for anyone over forty in order to escape facts,truth or common sense reasoning that counters your own reasoning.In that way you can close your mind and feel young again!

I wonder how such gentle people would react to being roasted by Richard Prior,Don Rickles,Deano,Rodney D etc.

When we get to the point where people start cutting down statues because they don't like what happened in history(already happening in the US)and mooted here ,then we know that Mao Zedong was a genius and Pol Pot was a philosopher par excellence.

I'm all for civility - but it is so rarely required these days people often mistake it for weakness.

Danelska- I vehemently and respectfully disagree but this in no way diminishes or devalues your being personally.

 

 

 

[daisycutter 29,616]

welcome to the perpetually aggrieved class

[Wiseblood 24,637]

What was in your coffee, @Danelska?

I actually think this forum is far, far better than it used to be a year or two ago.  That's what happens when you are winning, though.  Everyone is far more positive (generally) and therefore it creates less angst among the supporter case.  When you're getting flogged week in, week out it means there is more anger and, therefore, more problems.  This joint is far better than it was 12 months ago, no doubt about it.

[Little Goffy 14,546]

I'd suggest that there are a few people who have an accumulated dislike of eachother from sometimes years of disagreement and little bits of snark building up.

Try to picture a couple of geezers on a side table watching the game at a pub, constantly sniping at eachother, and yet they keep on turning up and watching the game together. They've been doing it for many many years and it is not for us to go all cultural imperialist and demand that they learn to share the crayons so they can get a gold star.

3 strikes policies as social engineering have invariably been a disaster, anyway. Like the AFL umpires, it is not the moderators job to prevent every single piece of rough play, just to strike a balance that keeps it under control but still lets the game flow.

[beelzebub 23,376]

Kum ba ya !!!!!!! 

[McQueen 17,864]

I sometimes think there's too many vegans post on this site.

[Bluey's Dad 3,419]

This is why I don't post in the general forums any more.

 

[The heart beats true 18,123]

1 hour ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

We are creating a world of soft people who can't cope with any sort of adversity or challenge.

It's scary. 

 

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

welcome to the perpetually aggrieved class

I feel like both of these posts are personally aimed at me, and my mum agrees.

I expect a full written apology from yourselves, and Josh Mahoney.

[Engorged Onion 10,215]

I'm not surprised at the 'soft' response and how its 'just words' - to some and no wonder our kids are weak etc etc... clearly I'm not going to convince you to change your minds. Maybe i read too much stuff after becoming a new dad.... 

Mmm, I am a mung bean munching sandal wearing, tree hugging, left wing leaning softy at heart... I'll see myself out for a while :)...*trudges off with head hanging in shame...

Ps...Neeld is a [censored].

[Engorged Onion 10,215]

1 hour ago, Biffen said:

Whenever I cop criticism from anyone I stick my fingers in my ears and say "naa-na-na,I can't hear you" until they finish talking.

Similarly,when I'm late to meet somebody I blame traffic or some other peripheral occurrences.

When my ideas are based on a fantasy and reason is used to counter them I run to my safe space and wait for the bad ideas to go away.

I can recommend such a strategy for anyone over forty in order to escape facts,truth or common sense reasoning that counters your own reasoning.In that way you can close your mind and feel young again!

I wonder how such gentle people would react to being roasted by Richard Prior,Don Rickles,Deano,Rodney D etc.

When we get to the point where people start cutting down statues because they don't like what happened in history(already happening in the US)and mooted here ,then we know that Mao Zedong was a genius and Pol Pot was a philosopher par excellence.

I'm all for civility - but it is so rarely required these days people often mistake it for weakness.

Danelska- I vehemently and respectfully disagree but this in no way diminishes or devalues your being personally.

 

 

 

So darned eloquent a polite @Biffen

[Bluey's Dad 3,419]

2 minutes ago, Danelska said:

So darned eloquent a polite @Biffen

You might have misread Biffen's post there mate. He's having a go at you.

[Moonshadow 17,676]

This joint is a lot better this year than last for two main reasons

1. We are winning more than getting beaten and our game style is good to watch

2. Stuie and Curry & Beer have been put out to pasture

The rest of you can [censored] off!

[Chris 2,892]

2 hours ago, Danelska said:

Some friday musings over a coffee or 4...

We bang on about mental health on here, yet numerous posters prefer to attack the man vs the content. Now I'm not coming from a holier than thou perspective, I am coming from a compassionate perspective and we've no idea really how someone feels when their attacked - even if their response would suggest they're cool with it.

Personally, I get quite upset (angry AND sad) when I see some posters critiquing others on here rather than the content. Would love a 3 strikes and you're banned for a bit rule.

 

I'm actually with you on this Danelska. I have very little time for personal barbs and attacks in arguments (unless in gest), all they do is destroy the credibility and argument of the person doing the attacking. Is a very large red flag for me that the person actually has little clue what they are talking about and no substance to their opinion. I am however all for vigorous discussions and arguments that are done in a non demeaning and factual manner, no one actually wins when someone is demeaned. 

I do wonder though if the internet has changed this. Prior to on line forums discussions were personal, the only means was through face to face, over the phone, or through snail mail. Face to face and over the phone are personal, there is the person on the other side, not just a randomly picked name of anonymity. I think this has let people be less civil as it is 'victimless' has zero repercussions, whereas face to face conversations are more civil as you end up with a gob full of fist if you rant on like people do on line. 

I read an interesting article the other day talking about how young people now have no idea how to behave in social interactions or face to face conversations and it is having a real impact on their chances of being employed as they don't know simple pleasantries for job interviews or even when in the job. An interesting juxtaposition for a generation that more access to people and information than ever before!

Edited July 14, 2017 by Chris

[Wiseblood 24,637]

21 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

This joint is a lot better this year than last for two main reasons

1. We are winning more than getting beaten and our game style is good to watch

2. Stuie and Curry & Beer have been put out to pasture

The rest of you can [censored] off!

This can't be understated and it's no coincidence that the atmosphere here improved the moment they were given their marching orders.

[rpfc 28,433]

All for people having a thicker skin, but that doesn't mean the collective on here don't judge a poster for a needless personal jibe.

Online bullying should not be confused with ProDee or Wiseblood giving a customary slap on the way through an argument but don't let that water down the response to the trolls who want to ruin the lives of people through the anonymity and unanimity of social media. 

[TeamPlayedFine39 8,508]

All the people here commenting on the weakness in society: you're tough, well adjusted and are fortunate, lucky and blessed with the personal skills and resilience to overcome obstacles.  Congratulations.

Many people are not so lucky.  

One of the biggest regrets of my life is going through school with zero understanding of the issues that the people around me were going through. Issues such as depression, abuse, Autism Spectrum Disorder, etc.  You were 'normal' or you were 'weird'.  Weird kids were weird and there was no reason or excuse... they simply chose to act like that.

 

The idea that people used to be tougher is garbage; marginalised people were simply without a voice or ignored.  Do you honestly think that WW1 veterans were not suffering PTSD?? Was that something invented in a lefty-tree-hugging-feelgoodery in 1992?  These issues simply weren't talked about because they were considered shameful and 'weak'.

The solution to mental health issues in the  past was usually found at the bottom of a bottle, and in many cases it still is today.  Ridiculous that the notion of hurting someone's feeling is delegitimised and mocked still today.

Anyone who's been in the room with someone when they are triggered can tell you if is a frightening and heartbreaking thing to witness, yet every day the idea of being 'triggered' is mocked.

The OP is well meaning and reasonable.  It is not an attack on anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite.  Many of the responses however are lacking in empathy for those who are not as strong, resilient and, ultimately, lucky as you.

Edited July 14, 2017 by TeamPlayedFine39
Terrible, terrible spelling.

[Wiseblood 24,637]

Just now, TeamPlayedFine39 said:

All the people here commenting on the weakness in society: you're tough, well adjusted and are fortunate, lucky and blessed with the personal skills and resilience to overcome obstacles.  Congratulations.

Many people are not so lucky.  

One of the biggest regrets of my life is going through school with zero understanding of the issues that the people around me were going through. Issues such as depression, abuse, Austrian Spectrum Disorder, etc.  You were 'normal' or you were 'weird'.  Weird kids were weird and there was no reason or excuse... they simply chose to act like that.

 

The idea that people used to be tougher is garbage; marginalised people were simply without a voice or ignored.  Do you honestly think that WW1 veterans were not suffering PTSD?? Was that something invented in a lefty-tree-hugging-feelgoodery in 1992?  These issues simply weren't talked about because they were considered shameful and 'weak'.

The solution to mental health issues in the  past was usually found at the bottom of a bottle, and in many cases it still is today.  Ridiculous that the notion of hurting someone's feeling is delegitimised and mocked still today.

Anyone who's been in the room with someone when they are triggered can tell you if is a frightening and heartbreaking thing to witness, yet every day the idea of being 'triggered' is mocked.

The OP is well meaning and reasonable.  It is not an attack on anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite.  Many of the responses however are lacking in empathy for those who are not as strong, resilient and, ultimately, lucky as you.

To be fair, how often does someone go the man around here these days?  It's rare.  There will always be arguments, disagreements etc on a forum, but I feel as though it's quite rare that posters here go the man anymore.  If people get upset or offended at a difference in opinion then that's their problem.  The mods here do a pretty good job of deleting, banning etc posts and posters who go the man these days.

[TeamPlayedFine39 8,508]

Just now, Wiseblood said:

To be fair, how often does someone go the man around here these days?  It's rare.  There will always be arguments, disagreements etc on a forum, but I feel as though it's quite rare that posters here go the man anymore.  If people get upset or offended at a difference in opinion then that's their problem.  The mods here do a pretty good job of deleting, banning etc posts and posters who go the man these days.

I would agree- it's very rare.

My post was aimed more at the general idea that there is weakness in being hurt by words.  Words are very hurtful to many.

[Chris 2,892]

3 minutes ago, TeamPlayedFine39 said:

All the people here commenting on the weakness in society: you're tough, well adjusted and are fortunate, lucky and blessed with the personal skills and resilience to overcome obstacles.  Congratulations.

Many people are not so lucky.  

One of the biggest regrets of my life is going through school with zero understanding of the issues that the people around me were going through. Issues such as depression, abuse, Austrian Spectrum Disorder, etc.  You were 'normal' or you were 'weird'.  Weird kids were weird and there was no reason or excuse... they simply chose to act like that.

 

The idea that people used to be tougher is garbage; marginalised people were simply without a voice or ignored.  Do you honestly think that WW1 veterans were not suffering PTSD?? Was that something invented in a lefty-tree-hugging-feelgoodery in 1992?  These issues simply weren't talked about because they were considered shameful and 'weak'.

The solution to mental health issues in the  past was usually found at the bottom of a bottle, and in many cases it still is today.  Ridiculous that the notion of hurting someone's feeling is delegitimised and mocked still today.

Anyone who's been in the room with someone when they are triggered can tell you if is a frightening and heartbreaking thing to witness, yet every day the idea of being 'triggered' is mocked.

The OP is well meaning and reasonable.  It is not an attack on anyone, in fact it's quite the opposite.  Many of the responses however are lacking in empathy for those who are not as strong, resilient and, ultimately, lucky as you.

Congrats on inventing an entirely new disorder  Auto correct can be a bugger!

On the WW1 and 2 vets. We as a society are still paying for the harm caused to those men and women. How many came home broken and went on to abuse themselves and those around them through violence, alcohol abuse, withdrawal from society etc. This has filtered down through the generations and is still felt today. Had we as a society helped these men and women a little better (who absolutely had PTSD, shell shock is the most famous of the iterations at the time) then many of todays issues would be far less.I think the diggers would actually be the first to realise when someone is down and would do what they could to help, not to keep kicking like seems the fashion today!

 

[Chris 2,892]

7 minutes ago, TeamPlayedFine39 said:

I would agree- it's very rare.

My post was aimed more at the general idea that there is weakness in being hurt by words.  Words are very hurtful to many.

Words are actually far more powerful than violence. I am sure there is a famous quote about this but I can't be bothered looking it up.

the quote came to me - 'the pen is mightier than the sword'

Edited July 14, 2017 by Chris