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A forward line with Caddy and Schache 🤔🤔😂😂

Every year a poster on another site called Pevster puts together his humorous summary of the trade period. This is his 2023 version which, while still funny, is probably not quite as funny as previous ones IMO. Adelaide’s List Manager: “We heard around the traps that Harrison Petty was being badly treated by his teammates on account of his meagre wage. They started calling him “Petty Change”, which hurt his feelings, so we decided to step in and offer him crazy money. Unfortunately, we couldn’t secure him, or any other player for that matter. But it didn’t stop us for being relentless in our quest for improvement. I can now disclose that we approached Sydney for a trade that would have seen them get one of our fringe players in exchange for their goal umpire.” Brisbane’s List Manager: “This trade period was more about maximising points rather than trading players. We tried to arrange a deal with the Pies that would have garnered us 5 extra points, but the Pies weren’t prepared to relinquish the flag. Gunston never quite settled in and knew he was on the outer when we told him his choice of post goal music was rubbish. Melbourne called about Fullarton which surprised us as nobody has called about him since he turned up at our club, not even his mother.” Carlton’s List Manager: “We are delighted to get Elijah Hollands who we convinced to join us, after a group of our leadership presented to him at a nude skinny-dipping event as Ed Curnow’s house.” Collingwood’s List Manager: “We feel, just like in the season proper, we won the trade period. The Shultz deal was a major win for us. In fact, as far as we’re concerned, we feel we did to Fremantle what Dan McStay did to his girlfriend in the toilet cubicle. We see Shultz as a like for like replacement for Ginnivan, as Ginnivan attended the infamous race meet the night before the Grand Final and Shultz rode the winner in race 8 that same night. A lot was made of our spelling Shultz’s name wrong on our press release. Some claimed it indicated that we didn’t properly value the player. That is ridiculous! In fact, we rate Shultz extremely highly, and we see a big future for him in our forward line amongst the likes of Mihocheck, Eliot and Macreeri.” Essendon’s List Manager: “Free agency has served us well, but due to the crazy money we are giving McKay and Gresham in particular, our salary cap has been somewhat depleted, with our much-heralded war chest now looking more like Nik Cox’s chest. We were sick of people joking that our recruits weren’t born the last time we won a final, so we brought in Goldstein who was 32 when we last won a final. Gresham’s offer raised some eyebrows, especially Gresham’s eyebrows, but we think he will gel really well with the other short players who miss targets. There has been a lot made out of the fact that Gresh is paying his own way to Arizona. So he should! Did you see what we’re paying him? The Duursma play was actually initiated by the people down at the Bomber Shop who thought that the custom-made club bow and arrow set would go well with the bestselling Dodoro dart board. We were able to secure a deal for Zerk-Thatcher who won the reverse Coleman but didn’t get a viable suitor for Shiel who won the reverse Crichton. We offloaded Massimo to the Hawks in exchange for a like on Instagram.” Fremantle’s List Manager: “I have to admit this wasn’t our best trade period. We were at least able to get a decent deal done with Shultz, with us giving up the player and in return getting their future first and the letter “t” from Shultz’s surname as a sweetener. We are at a loss as to why we keep on losing all our players. Luckily, we have reacted decisively by making a play for Gather Round to ensure that all of them come back to us for at least one week of the season. I can confirm that we are in talks with Ritalin as our new major sponsor in light of our Retention Deficit Disorder.” Geelong’s List Manager: “We were pretty disappointed to lose Ratugolea but we thought we got a fair deal for him. We got back 76 and 94 in the deal which represents the age range of our playing list." Gold Coast’s List Manager: “We had a very steadfast strategy coming into the trade period. First step was to acquire points for our academy players. Then the job will be to select them, extend their contracts on inflated wages, get into salary cap distress, give up draft picks to teams like Geelong to take the said academy players off our books and then cry poor to the AFL. Our new coach, Damien Hardwick thinks he has 80% of a premiership side, and he would know because he has been 80% faithful to Mrs Hardwick.” GWS’s List Manager: “We tried hard to get some takers for Haynes to get his 1.3 million dollars a year off the books, but unfortunately there were no suitors. Wealthy as he is, he now has a decision to make; does he play VFL or buy out the VFL. Our doctors are confident that they can prevent Fantasia from being sidelined with injury by opting not to play him." Hawthorn’s List Manager: “Jack Ginnivan is the big “in” for us. Some would be concerned by his behaviour but he has agreed not to cross the line, and we believe him as he is quite partial to lines. We have brought him in with a view to bolstering our forward division and also to prepare our club for the likelihood of an imminent war by teaching our players and staff the duck and cover technique which he has perfected over time. We weren’t worried about him attending the races on Grand Final Eve because most of our list are usually overseas the night before the Grand Final. We are proud to welcome Jack Gunston back to our club after his gap year and Mabior Chol has joined us for up to 4 years, depending on whether or not we replace Sam Mitchell with Damien Hardwick mid contract. Losing Brandon Ryan is tough as it further depletes us in the crucial two first names department. For those who haven’t seen Massimo play, our coach will uploading a clip of his highlights as soon as he’s finished his director’s cut of the clangers Tom Mitchell made while he was playing for the club." North Melbourne’s List Manager: “When Essendon offered that crazy contract for Ben McKay, we had a big decision to make; do we laugh hysterically before or after choosing to take pick 3 and run. Some of our fans are concerned that names like Fisher, Steven, Nguyen and Pink aren’t exciting. Of course they aren’t! If they were, we wouldn’t be able to go to the AFL next year for more handouts!” Port Adelaide’s List Manager: “We realised after our finals capitulation that we needed an injection of big names and both Zerk-Thatcher and Ratugolea possess very big names. Duursma was a bit of a loss, but he was quite unhappy in his role, which was basically to avoid doing anything noticeable and make Rozee and Butters look good. It’s not new for our club to assign a role like that. In fact, Kochy has that same role at Sunrise. Like Jason Horne-Francis’ ice bath, we have no intention of using the future 4th rounders we got in the deal. Jordan Sweet came to us after passing an intensive physical that involved checking that he was tall and had a pulse.” Richmond’s List Manager: “Some may accuse us of not being active this week, but it has not been wasted by any means as I was able to get a new Makita drill.” St. Kilda’s List Manager: “We were delighted to bring Dan Andrews in to help us negotiate our trades. His work on the East/West link and Commonwealth Games was perfect for Billings in helping us pay for something we had no intention of using. Dougal Howard did his due diligence before deciding to stay and fight for his spot in the backline, just as soon as he finishes fighting his parents for naming him Dougal.” Sydney’s List Manager: “We are happy to welcome Grundy as part of our ongoing time share arrangement and look forward to moving him on in a years’ time to the next club. Veteran Sam Reid persuaded Adams to come to us after convincing him that unlike Collingwood, we play injured players in Grand Finals. We wrestled with the decision about whether or not to make a play for Clayton Oliver, before coming to the decision that wrestling has not served our club very well – just ask Callum Mills. We were inspired by ‘Air’, the movie about Michael Jordan, in our decision to make a play for James Jordon. The club is excited to announce that we are going into production with a new club coloured footwear line titled, Meh Jordon.” West Coast’s List Manager: “We were thrilled that Flynn was prepared to move to us because movement isn’t one of his best attributes. Tyler Brockman, we see as an exciting prospect with a keen eye for the game which he will put to good use as the ball will usually be camped quite far away from him and his fellow forwards.” Western Bulldogs’ List Manager: “We wish Jordan Sweet all the best as starts his next inglorious chapter with Port. Sweet, like most of our bogan fans, was starved for opportunity due to English. Harmes and Coffield were selected for their ability to play in multiple positions, which works for us as our coach has no idea where to put any of our players. Bailey Smith considered leaving us for Hawthorn before realising that the Western Suburbs offers better drug options than Dingley. Many had us as one of the clubs into Clayton Oliver on the basis of a connection between Oliver and Libba, in that Oliver tattoos himself and Libba’s tattoos look so bad he could only have done them himself.”

Poor bugger. Reckon he is pretty stiff considering he missed significant part of the season due to injury. Footy can be brutal.

curious why you think caulfield is out of the way @D Rev - generally assumed these days that it's very much inner city these days...certainly in comparison with cranbourne st. kilda it wouldn't suit at all - they're further out in moorabin - while hawks are spending a small fortune (mostly in govt grants) to move to dingley gimme caulfield over any of those options

Moniz Wakefield has been retained.

A lovely, well-mannered young man. Sad to see him go. 😢

this is getting a bit Petty.

To me, ND3 is like a Merlot. I did not do all that death riding and trading for a Merlot.

3 firsts to move 3 spots up the order? No chance 6 & 11 for 3 & 17? Yep

Was recently chatting to a former Tassie premier about the team and its prospects. They said that the team was effectively no chance to be in place on current timelines. Horrible contracts for Tas government re: stadium build (unviable based on current contract) and ongoing fees to AFL, not enough fed money, variable support from sections of the public who believe the money could be spent elsewhere and only vague backing from the AFL (unlike the northern franchises) who want to look like they are supporting a Tassie team. The opposition (who are the same colour as the fed government that provided funding) have said they will scrap plans and will only go ahead with establishment if contracts are renegotiated. The path ahead is littered with significant obstacles. I don't think we should be tailoring our recruiting based on the framework of the plan for commencing establishment of a Tassie team sometime in the future.

Can’t let that one pass, Jontee. I feel compelled to defend the honour of my childhood and teenage stomping ground! I haven’t been to Merimbula and its been decades since going to Lakes Entrance. But other than a nice beach they just don’t compare to the Mordi beach precinct at that time. My memories: A real Carnival; a mini Luna Park with a Ghost Train but sans the Big Dipper The ‘Dodgems’ were the best rides!! Always did love driving cars fast! The Shindig dance on Sunday nights. Johhny Farhnam and the Strings Unlimited performed there occasionally. Fishing off the Mordi pier if one was so inclined. Parents buying fresh fish straight from the sea from Mrs Pompeii’s gate at the Mordi Bridge; it was an illicit business I believe. Apparently the gate is still there. Just about the best and cleanest stretch of beach on Port Phillip Bay being north of the Mordi Creek. Trapezing up the Mordi creek to pick blackberries and catch tadpoles. All in all the beach precinct was an idyllic place to spend one’s childhood and teenage years. And in latter years a refuge in times of trouble,

And that is probably the nicest thing you have ever said about him!!

No. Still traumatised. Was only a small kid and I reckon the string was longer than me. 2nd go the yoyo hit the ground and broke in 2. The rest is history. Explains everything really.

I wouldn't even trade 6+11 for 3, let alone throwing in future picks. It's not worth losing pick 11 to move up 3 spots. Pick 11 is a good pick and higher than we're likely to have again for a few years if we remain competitive. It will net us a good KPD (O'Sullivan, Murphy) or outside midfielder (Wilson, Windsor) for the next decade. Losing a 200 game type just to have a crack at Duursma instead of Sanders/Watson/Curtin seems mental to me.

That is mean!! And earnt my first ever 🤮 reaction to a post!!

You’re not wrong! My smart mouth has got me into trouble many times. But then it’s got me outta trouble many times, too. PS: I’m scared of Jaded, too (isn’t everyone?!). And I’m only confessing that because she doesn’t read this thread. At least, I sincerely hope she doesn’t. 😬

Haha WCW, not really. i tend to keep on the right side of Jaded - because she scares me. You on the other hand, I just enjoy, because i never know what will come out of that mouth of yours next. I don't think even you do at times.

Yeah but you can never predict what that deranged lady might do, Luci.

You are a brave man calling @WalkingCivilWar a smart [censored]. I note she has yet to post a retort. Perhaps you have succeeded a never before achieved feat: making her speechless or she is dreaming up a doozie of a response. Methinks the latter!!

It could end up being a last round million dollar play off between the MFC and Lions womens game. A high stakes game

From my understanding the money goes to the W only, split amongst players and coaching staff. That’s what I heard on Thursday at a W function. I could be wrong, but geez, I hope I’m right. Average W wage this year is $60,000, up from $42,000 last season. Methinks the M are sufficiently paid already.

The first lists are due on the 31st of October so they had to make a decision on Kye Turner and AMW. Kye did not get much of a chance to show his talent at VFL level due to injury, spots on the list are very tight.

Yes that was true LD. Loved the look of them but i used the coke version mostly as they spun better and better balanced. Possibly a tad wider and smaller diameter? The strings often had to be reset on all of these to get them up to speed with 'trick' attempts. I could do the three main tricks (and still can) but have never heard of DC's three leaf clover. The key was all in the wrist snap. As a young fella (about 10) i was deternined to learn the 'how' and at least master the three basics. One week i practiced so hard my bro, who slept in the same room as me at the time, said just after i'd fallen asleep my right arm was hanging out the bed and motioning up and down as if i was still throwing the yo yo in my hand. On a trip to Hawaii in '74' we went to Waikaki's then famous International Market Place and they had light up yo yos! Couldn't believe it. Bought a few back with us. Extra heavy with the batteries but looked amazing at night. Especially doing the cradle! One of the cheapest but most fun toys as a kid for mine. I moved on to nanchakus a few years later. Lots of fun also apart from a couple of hits to the funny bone!

The absolute love of Jaded’s life is her adorable cavoodle whom she cherishes more than her husband (true story). His name is Bear… so maybe choose another figure of speech. 😝

Spot on. Urban planning in Melbourne is tradtionally the sole domain of morons. Caulfield is the best option due to its proximity to facilities and fan base. Get it done.

I think he has mellowed since the price of wine casks stabilised:

No way we trade Tayla unless out hand is forced by the AFL. If we win the flag this year she will play a big role. I've no doubt about that.

I’m actually flattered by BBO calling me a smart [censored], Luci. It’s the nicest thing he’s ever said about me.

shells, wcw. in the shells. gottit.

Yeah, bring her home! It's been 10 years but she was ours at the beginning.

averages for the QF collingwood: 28yr 1 month, 150.2 games melbourne: 26yr 5 months. 124.7 games https://www.footywire.com/afl/footy/ft_match_statistics?mid=10962

It wouldn't be your typical lease. The land in the centre of the racecourse is Crown Land. For instance, Carlton FC have been leasing Princes Park (Ikon Park) since 1896 and there is an Act of Parliament that also sits behind the lease.

I was there, too, an unforgettable day. Paxy asked me the question the next day if being there made up for not being able to go to the men's grand final. I think she was please when I said more so, because I'd been part of the journey since the exhibition day, being a foundation member of the women's team, being a player sponsor, all that. It was a special day. I'm sure I was captured on Channel 7 doing some fierce ugly crying in the moments after the siren, embarrassingly enough in the presence of Kate Roffey!

All the best Kye Turner, we barely knew ye.

There's no reason to think that Fishermen's Bend won't end up as the same soulless, windswept, high-rise concrete wasteland occupied by short term overseas students that have little or no interest in our indigenous game, just like the Docklands precinct currently is. Anyone that doesn't think this is giving too much credit to urban planners, developers and politicians.

...never mind all the harrying!

This short video sums up Caddy to me. I see an aggressive competitor, which I like, but a distinct lack of class. If he's considered a top 10 draft pick it really is a shallow draft.

Gee your family were doing well in the 70s with a trip to Hawaii. I thought Lakes Entrance was pretty Cosmopolitan back then and as far as we ever ventured barring our all out campervan holiday in Merrimbula.

I am in no way panicking if Petty does want to leave in the future, just giving my opinion based on those interviews. He was obviously asked quite pointed questions and he basically said, Oh yeah I probably want to move back to Adelaide at some point. That does not scream of a man desperate to get home to me. So my point was I don't think he was giving it much thought until Adelaide threw money at him.

I’d wanna go home too if someone near-doubled my salary

There was buzzing in the grandstand, for the word had passed around that the mighty Crows had fallen during the day. It had opened up a glitch for one of the two teams on the pitch to sit alone atop of the array. By the end of the night, it was Narrm, with our trademark #DemonSpirit, just too good for too long and BACK ON TOP, on percentage, of the AFLW Season Eight premiership ladder. It was an impressive defensive display by Narrm at its favourite home ground, with North scoring a solitary point after quarter time. The modest crowd numbers would have disappointed the powers that be but nevertheless, it was a pleasure to feel the twilight atmosphere at Ikon and witness the football spectacle on such an immaculate playing surface. The majority crowd were Narrm supporters who Meggs is sure thoroughly enjoyed themselves. Vice-Captain Tyla Hanks was clearly the best player on the ground and should earn the 10 coaches votes this week. The media heaps praise on coaches votes leader Jas Garner (who is typically outstanding) but she won’t vote this week thanks to Shelley Heath’s monumental containment effort. Liv Purcell too was prolific too with her characteristically strong performance. The Dees really spread the load having 13 different players with more than 10 possessions while North had only 9. Meggs had Hanks, Purcell, Hore, Mithen, B. Mackin, Gillard and Heath as the best players but there were quite a few others that could have been mentioned. It was said that Libby Birch looks comfortable behind the microphone and her defensive group was truly excellent on Saturday. Now having secured top spot, they need to maintain it by knocking off Freo next week at Casey and then defeat Brisbane in Round 10. If they do, we the minor premiership, Dr McLelland Trophy, a handy $1m plus first dibs on a home grand final. This season is so much fun to watch, hope you are enjoying it too. In terms of the game: Wurundjeri elder Uncle Bill Nicholson Jnr gives a rousing welcome to country, Emma Kearney with Mia King wins the coin toss and finally we are underway. Q1 Lots of talk from the commentators about how to stop Jas Garner. It doesn’t take them long to work out that the Narrm Coach Mick Stinear has sent Heater (Shelley Heath) to blanket her. North with some good pressure score the first goal by Irish player Niamh Martin, her first in AFLW. Meggs notices Fitzsimon, a late inclusion, picking up goal-sneak Alice O’Loughlin. A 50-metre infringement by Erika O’Shea leads to Casey Sherriff taking her shot from 30 metres and she nails it. All square. Isn’t it great to see Paxy back out there? Hanksy seems to be everywhere. The Dees fail to clear the ball and it ends up with North’s Tess Craven who kicks a long bomb from 45 metres to take the lead. ¼ time: Dees 1.1.7 Kangaroos 2.1.13 Q2 Maeve Chaplin is tackled by Amy Smith, sister of Joel, and goes off hurt. Soon Kate Hore takes a ripper contested mark 25 metres out and converts. Kate you star! The Dees are starting to win the ball and run and carry. Some exciting passages. Heathy is having a great quarter. Kate then gets on the end of good run but hits the post. Thankfully we see Chappy ready to come back on. She’s one tough cookie. Georgia Campbell wins a ruck infringement and goals. A very happy team celebration ensues. A good quarter from Narrm and Paxy confirms that it’s a hot contest out there. ½ time: Dees 3.4.22 Kangaroos 2.1.13 Q3 Narrm continues to apply team pressure. Hanksy outclasses everyone from a ball up, showing off her speed and skill, to kick a brilliant goal. With the first four inside 50s for the quarter it feels like Narrm is in control. But then the final few minutes of the quarter are played out in North’s forward half. Charlotte Wilson with stoic defence has some of her best moments in a Narrm jumper. No score for North that quarter. ¾ time: Dees 4.5.29 Kangaroos 2.1.13 Q4 Narrm proves yet again they are the 4th quarter specialists by keeping their opponents goalless. Gilliard taking lots of contested marks while Purcell, Hanks, Heathy and everyone are buzzing and making it impossible for North to get back into this game. Eventually Zanker takes a strong contested mark and superbly goals from 40 metres out and it is game over Roos. Dees 5.7.37 Kangaroos 2.2.14. Coaches and next week Narrm Coach Mick Stinear said it was a really tough game of footy and we showed effort for four quarters. He was particularly pleased with the strength of our team defence and our ability to maintain the ball in the forward half. He wasn’t worried about the lack of scoring, citing a couple of misses on the goal line. He praised Shelley Heath for her run-with roll on Jasmine Garner, using her speed to limit Jas’ usual output. North coach Darren Crocker said his team tonight was not the real North Melbourne, that’s not the way we want to play. He said to Narrm’s credit they put North under a lot of pressure and his team couldn’t move the ball like they have against lesser sides. Next week we are back at Casey Fields to take on Fremantle at 1:05pm Saturday 28 October 2023 while North journey to the City of Churches for another testing Top Four clash against Adelaide next Sunday. NARRM 1.1.7 3.4.22 4.5.29 5.7.37 NORTH MELBOURNE 2.1.13 2.1.13 2.1.13 2.2.14 GOALS NARRM Campbell Hanks Hore Sherriff Zanker NORTH MELBOURNE Craven Martin BEST NARRM Hanks Purcell Hore Mithen B Mackin Gillard NORTH MELBOURNE Riddell Kearney M King Garner O'Shea Ferguson LATE CHANGES NARRM Aimee Mackin (ankle) and Gab Colvin (Achilles) replaced in selected side by Megan Fitzsimon and Charlotte Wilson NORTH MELBOURNE Nil INJURIES NARRM Nil NORTH MELBOURNE Nil REPORTS NARRM Nil NORTH MELBOURNE Nil UMPIRES Howard Morgan Simmonds CROWD 2,704 at Ikon Park

Who are they 58er. They have both vanished from demonland?

Plays nothing like Jake M. Really couldn’t be more different. More like Laurie/Hunter perhaps with half forward/ forward pocket role preferred. Really is probably different to all our skilled smalls which will be good.

This is not the draft for high end mids. Sanders will be the only option at 6. Mckercher will be gone. What do you want us to do just read out a name that isn’t there? If Jason Taylor rates O Sullivan, Caddy or anyone else higher than Sanders then that’s who we’ll pick.

Can’t see any explanation for it either.

What a fantastic result in this match. Playing the then 4th side in a match where the winner would go to top of the ladder, with only a couple of games remaining. Really, really telling for me was that this win was after coming back from a 6 day break, after travelling across the country and having played in 30+ degrees. In one sense it was not surprising that we only managed 2 goals in the second half, but our defenders were magnificent to keep North goalless after the mid point of the 1st quarter. ...a team challenging for top spot! Most of all I love our mids. Liv Purcell, who nobody seems to notice racks up 28 touches, and just monsters the opposition. Tyla, of course everyone notices and she is just sheer talent. But also a shout out to Eliza West who provides so much grunt in there and doesn't stand back at any point. Then the tackling and tagging provided by Lily and Heater against a player like Jasmine Garner who only managed 2 clearances for the game, neither from the centre, when she is the one of the league leaders in this area, was exemplorary. The best part of watching the mids, was if one didn't do damage, the next would step in, then the next, then the next. They were relentless, which is exactly what Adelaide did to us, and what we need to bring the next inevitable game we will play against them. I thought we would struggle with rucks this season, with LP having knee issues in the past, but Georgia Campbell has really blossomed, and held out Rhi Watt this week from selection. The other one who has shone unexpectedly has been Tahlia Gillard, who had a blinder in this match, and is developing into a real problem for oppositions as she has gained confidence, and certainly knows when to punch and when to mark. Can North do us another favour next week against Adelaide as we finish the season against Brisbane, and those results will once again shape the top 4, but more importantly, where the finals especially the GF will be played.

Astute pick up! Cheap as chips, will surprise a few around here!

FOCUSSED, FUN TWO FEET & A HEARTBEAT The artist who designed our indigenous jumper is a beach sand artist. Kate asked him if he uses any tools and he simply replied, “Two feet and a heartbeat.” Mick told us this at a function on Thursday afternoon so we included it on the banner that night. He also told us that he and the girls observe “the three Fs” - Focussed, Fun and [censored] everything else (referring to all the media pressure of going back-to-back, breaking records, etc.) but we couldn’t exactly quote that on the banner. 😂