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Why can’t the Collingwood police ever solve any murders? Coz there’s no dental records and everyone’s DNA is the same.

Bloke goes into the Lexus Centre to see what it's all about. Goes into the social club there and orders a beer. Standing next to him at the bar is Dane Swan! Bloke says: "Hey Swanny. Ya wanna hear a Collingwood joke?" Swan says, "Lissen mate. See the bloke next to me? That's Jordan de Goey. He don't mind a fight, just sayin'. An' see the bloke next ta him? That's Alan Didak, an' he likes hangin' 'round wiv bikies. Ya still wanna tell that joke?" Bloke says, "Nah, not if I'm gunna have to explain it three times."

A woman in Collingwood named all eight of her children Bradley. She did this so as when they’re playing outside and she calls them to come inside she just needs to yell out, ‘Bradley!’ When asked what if she just wants one of them to come inside she said, ‘I call out their surname.’

How do you know a Collingwood supporter invented the toothbrush? Otherwise it'd be called the teethbrush

The club clearly has big plans/hopes pinned on this kid. His development over summer and, hopefully, his debut next year will be fascinating to observe. I hope he's as good as many on this forum have claimed.

Jackson spent his first few years in covid hubs and lockdowns. Like most of us here in Victoria, he wouldn't have enjoyed his time here and it would have made it hard to settle and build a connection to the place. With the offer of big cash to return to his home state of WA after that experience, I'm shocked he stayed with us as long as he did! JVR hopefully has a better experience living in a more normal version of Victoria. We have more chance of him staying longer term as he can properly settle and build a life here. We need him to become a key player in our forward line the next few years. Hoping we see lots of him in 2023!

What’s the definition of Confusion? Father’s Day in Collingwood.

Makes sense, Freo don't have any 1st round picks til around then anyway

My apologies if this has been put up before but I could not remember it. if you see a Collingwood supporter riding a push bike in front of you. why should you swerve and avoid them ? it’s probably your bike !

Having travelled to Casey to watch the AFLW on the weekend, I am firmly against any move to that area, period! It is over an hour from the CBD. I live in North Balwyn and it took me in excess of 50 mins. Once there, there is no soul at all to the place. It does not represent our supporter base at all. I would be gutted if we were to move out there permanently. It's actually unfair on our AFLW team that they even have to play there. They get very few people watching. Contrast that with the inner city grounds like Punt Road. If anyone thinks we are growing members and fans out there, I challenge your assertion. No one cares about the MFC in Cranbourne. Facts!

A proper extension. Shows he's committed. And 3 years is plenty of time to find him a girlfriend just in case the WA clubs do come calling

Jackson only ever signed a 1 year extension he was always gone

[censored] yeah! That’s a great result. With the recent loss of Jackson returning to his home state of WA, I was worried JVR may follow suit in the coming years. Good to lock him in for a few more years and give him a chance to settle into normal life in Vic and lock down a KPF role.

I'm in this camp, too, acknowledging there's a range of other camps. And I'm pleased he's stayed with us, regardless of where he plays, and when. Seeing him close up at Casey, I'd agree aggression/attack/attitude is the point of difference between him and the obvious - and ultimately unsuccessful - yardstick, Sam W. Beyond that, though, there's been no clear 'banging down the door' indicators; his being so strongly in the conversation has just as much been about the (perceived) deficiencies in the seniors forward line. Successful leaps from Casey to the seniors have been the exception; Fritsch and (effectively) Gawn (and potentially Turner) are all I can bring to mind, and I wouldn't necessarily have said they were certainties at the time from what I saw, for varying reasons. However, wouldn't it be great if (when?!) Jacob is the next Bailey or Max!

One I heard about 30 years ago: What's the difference between a dead pig in the middle of the road and a dead Collingwood supporter in the middle of the road? The skid marks in front of the pig.

Also just realised a hit of GUINNESS would fit GUS to the NINES 😉

Aggression attack attitude and..... He can take a bloody mark and kick straight. He should go alright in the seniors this year. From what I've seen, I reckon he's ready

To me Hawthorn is the strangest story they gave up Glenferie Oval as home base to move to Waverley which they touted as being the best of all worlds and yet they are now moving to Dingley the new Mecca. I wonder what the Hawks fans think?? I am glad that we are holding out for our home base to be close to our place of origin, we are Melbourne so need to stay close to our roots and CBD. If it takes longer to achieve it so be it, it will be well worth it.!!

Great news for JVR well earned and for our future. Can't wait till Round 1 2023 ( hope it's vs Pies) with Brodie Lachie H JVR forward and Disco back plus Harry Petts on the forward line.

Boy says to his father: "Dad! Look at this! Me an' Baz broke into Eddie McGuire's house and stole his TV!" Dad says: "Son, I'm very disappointed in ya." Boy says: "Why?" Dad says: "Coz ya fergot the remote!"

Bloody awesome!

I think this belongs here too

It's an essential component of pre-season training.

He's made it easy for them ...Goodwin has 3 more seasons to give him a game

At least three more years of this smile… I still reckon he’s Conan O’Brien’s love child.

The only slight knock on Fritsch was his slight inaccuracy and unreliable set shots for goal at the end of 2020 into the early rounds of 2021. However, over the last 2 seasons he's kicked 114-46 which is elite. Easily our best forward and probably between the 5th and 8th best player on the list It was an excellent move at the time to get him to re-sign for 5 years fresh off a 6 goal GF.

I don't wish Luke any ill but his attitude in the last 12 months was appalling he must have known at the end of 2021 he was going back home so that could have given the MFC a chance to unload him to Freo and get Adam Cerra and some picks. Young Jacob has commited to the club till 2025 and if his progress is good his next contract will be substantially higher and longer than the present one. It gives the club a chance to groom the player rather than pitchfork him into the seniors before he is actually ready al la Jack Watts.

yay

Not claimed, observed, he has all the attributes, including a nice dose of aggression, pleasing thing is he hasn't been rushed

Just saying whilst an extension is good. It's not over yet. But we now have 3 years to watch him grow in the Red and Blue

Great news!!

Michael Hibberd has played 101 games for the Demons (84 games at the Bombers). Whereas, Jake Melksham has played 94 games for the Demons (114 games at the Bombers). Let's hope Jake gets the remaining 6 AFL games for the Demons to get to 100 games. I am always thinking of possible Father-Son (or Father-Daughter) opportunities for the Demons and I know the rule is 100 games for an AFL Club. Fingers crossed both of them get a 1 year contract extension for season 2023. I guess we shall find out if this happens in the next day or so?

One of the best medium forwards in the business and a great reader of the flight of the ball in the air, Fritsch passed the half century in goals for the second year in a row but this time in a forward line that was often found wanting in the big games. "The star forward topped the Demons’ goalkicking for the third consecutive year with his 55 majors in 2022. Played every game in 2022, scoring in each match. Signed a new long-term deal at the end of last year to keep him at the Demons until at least 2026." - Herald Sun Date of Birth: 6 December 1996 Height: 188cm Weight: 84kg Games MFC 2022: 24 Career Total: 109 Goals MFC 2022: 55 Career Total: 173 Seventh Club Best & Fairest: 395 votes

Would have put a huge smile on my face (and definitely his) to have seen him pull on a senior jumper for the MFC, but I guess that's life and I guess just because he never did that doesn't mean he didn't impact the team. Definitely a Demon whenever I hear or see his name these days. Still need to get around to reading his book!

Fritta is awesome on-field and a cheeky bugger off-field. At the B&F he said to me, “So, you’ve met Nat?” (his girlfriend). I said “yeah I have, several times, she’s awesome,” then I said “you know you’re punching, right?” He calls her over and says, “Nat! WCW reckons YOU’RE punching.” All good though, Nat knew it was just Fritta being Fritta.

Isn't it only a 2 year extension on an existing deal? Or am I mssing something.? But end of 25 is a great get and says the club is seen by JVR as a place he wants to be in. Thanks.

The canard lives!

All, I say this somewhat guiltily: 👏

Idk about Hibbo but I have it on very good authority that Melksy is definitely with us for 2023. And he knows this already.

not many players sign a three year extension without having played a debut game, i wouldn't have thought good optics

“Excellent Smithers”

https://aflcoaches.com.au/awards/aflw-champion-player-of-the-year-award/leaderboard/season-7/20230210 No doubt Jasmine Garner has had a great season and is a worthy winner, but I thought it was fascinating that none of the top three clubs had a player in the top 9 of this year's award. It shows that the AFLW teams who have taken the time to build lists with significant depth will almost always outperform those that have built their lists around 2 or 3 top players. In contrast, five of the top 10 in the 2022 AFL award were from the top 3 teams, so there seems to be a much better correlation in the men's game.

Just noticed there's a new emoji thing available on Demonland. It is now possible to admit, "I've got the clap", without shame.

I thought it was Smith that got turned inside out by Cameron in that final?

Yeah Imagine!! Well Ive looked into the chrystal ball and do you know what it says?? DEES TRIUMPH WITH ASTUTE OFF SEASON PICKUPS!!!! 🤩😍🥰😇

Culture and playing lists come and go, but the lack of a first class training facility is for ever

Without a doubt, Rab. We’d be on top of that chart if our home ground was closer to the city. There are W members that I know who would love to attend Casey games but getting there is so difficult. I personally have a five-hour round trip by PT but I’m lucky to still be able to attend.