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We always hear about how when players are on holidays they need to follow some sort of fitness regime so that they come back to training in good shape.

How about as well as this the players get given certain kicking skills they need to work on in their break to be tested on when they come back?

Instead of just coming back and doing a 3 km time trial, how about coming back and doing a test to see who actually has spent some time working on on their skills for once?

Edited by Clint Bizkit
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Demonland can help here. We should list what skills we want to see, either specific to a player, or for the club as a whole. To get things rolling, I want to see every player return to pre-season training with the ability to kick properly on their non-preferred side.

What else?

I'd be happy if some of them could kick properly on their preferred side

Your point is valid though. Viney for example often runs himself into trouble because he has no right side whatsover

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Handballing ahead of the player somewhere between the shoulder and the belt so they can run onto it.

Get em all into BJJ and muay thai as well, so at least if they're not the strongest they'll feel like they could beat the other team up. Toump especially. He should become the new team enforcer.

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First rule should be to play in front, especially midfielders at a stoppage. We get smashed out of the middle because our players are always standing behind their opponents.

Second rule is no handpassing to blokes (a) standing less than 2 metres away, (b) not facing you, © not moving, or (d) about to be tackled.

Third rule is take a shot for goal inside forward 50 unless (a) you have a teammate ten metres in the clear and (b) you are capable of hitting him on the chest.

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A new mantra " do not handball to the guy shepherding for you"

How about not hand balling to s stationary person. Ever. Makes it a bit harder for the opposition to come from and sack you in less than half a second.

How about shepherding drills up and down the whole ground. Make it real. One ball carrier, Two ppl attacking the ball carrier. One person doing the shepherding, using the full length of the ground.

And a little less of Tammy's meditation classes, more Octagon action.

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Salem almost seems like a foreigner with the good kicking skills he shows coming out of defence. Have Hawthorn let us borrow one of their players?

It's astonishing how far ahead he is with his kicking.

But don't worry. He'll drop off next year. It's the Melbourne way!

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Demonland posters and members in general can help as well by attending positive thinking and anger management courses....

Oh great, who do I punch first.

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Also, holding the play up by being indecisive around HB-wing. How often do we see a player take the mark and then stall because they don't know where to kick it next? All this does is give the opposition time to drop back and get their defensive structures set up, making it virtually impossible to get a decent ball in to the forwards. One of the things I really admired about Collingwood when they were playing Grand Finals was that they always knew what the next step was. They were spectacularly well-drilled. The kick-out went to Lamumba (O'Brien) at the HBF who had two options, either a quick hand pass to the runner or if that man was covered a long switch to the opposite flank. He didn't have to think about it and barely had to look. He knew exactly where those two options were going to be and they were always there for him. It is absolutely inexcusable that we can take a mark in the same situation and have a player stop and stall because they can't see the next step.

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We always hear about how when players are on holidays they need to follow some sort of fitness regime so that they come back to training in good shape.

How about as well as this the players get given certain kicking skills they need to work on in their break to be tested on when they come back?

Instead of just coming back and doing a 3 km time trial, how about coming back and doing a test to see who actually has spent some time working on on their skills for once?

That would require having someone to kick the ball to, and Melbourne players don’t have any friends.

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