What do I say to this?

[dee-luded 2,959]

I started going to the footy in the early 1970's as a young kid. From about the age of 11 I'd sit by myself. I'm kind of unusual in that I prefer watching football by myself. I'm also not the sharpest tool in the shed, because week after week, year after year, I'd want to go and watch my team play just hoping we'd eke out that unlikely win. It was a terrible decade to be a Melb supporter. I was a pretty stony faced kid in those days. Robbie Flower was probably all that kept me going.

I have two boys aged 9 and 10 and they're smarter than me. They have no interest in football, or the Dees. Sure, they say they barrack for them, but I can't even get them to go to the games anymore. They sort of had an interest for a while, but loss after loss has taken its toll. But as 'Age' points out, it's probably not even just the losing, it's the lack of goals, or virtually anything for a young kid to get excited about.

They no longer even ask me about the result when I get home, or how we'll go this year. They don't care and I can't be bothered with the spin.

But I'm really not that hard to please. I don't demand wins. I know where we're at and I am patient. I just wanted them to have a crack. And the only ones that did were Green, McKenzie, probably the captain, and poor old Scully and Trengove.

I feel like I've let this insipid football club suck my soul.

two boys aged 9 and 10

Timeframe. Who was in charge of the team during the period they watched? And what was the footy like, boring & unphysical & uninspiring.

Seriously, be patient as this is all changing, but with so many kids starting at once, there's a lack of hard edged leadership.

[Nasher 33,616]

I was referring to the general hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth evident on this website as if we're the first team to ever get belted than saying the kids should 'harden up'.

Nothing like a smug, baseless observation of another poster's personal life to make yourself sound more intelligent is there?

There was no 'general hand-wringing or gnashing of teeth' evident in this thread (btw, I completely agree with you on that point, but it hasn't happened in this thread, so at the very best your post was completely out of context). There was no context in this thread other than the very clear one regarding a young child's bitter disappointment, to which Curry & Beer's response was "boo hoo, get over it". By saying "well said", you agreed with that premise. If you are a parent of young children, I'm sure you can understand why that rubs me the wrong way.

[Oliver Hill 0]

boo hoo

we are not the first side to sit at the bottom of the ladder for a number of years and we won't be the last

Why do you so readily accept such a pathetic performance?

After pondering your signature I have low expectations as to the quality of your reply.

[hopelessdeesfan 8]

HI All

I have 2 children that both barrack for collingwood and poor mum is the only melbourne supporter in the household.Every week except for next week I'm sure we all watch the Dees and at the end of the game my kids say don't worry mum,next week.I took them to the West Coast Match at the G last year and they sat with me in the rain and watched the team win,just to see them win and sing the song (which both my kids know)was a thrill for all of us.I think I can convince my son to be a Dees supporter as Demons are his second team,we just need a few more wins.No way I can barrack for anyone else my heart wouldn't be in it

[Chook 15,013]

Well, my heart just broke too.

My only advice would be to make sure it remains fun, even if the team's losing. Do something else fun (get an icecream for example) before or after the game to make the whole day fun, not just the football. During the periods where the side is playing like complete arse (50 minutes of no goals would be one of those....) distract her with conversation, explain to her some of the subtleties of the game (if she's interested), just do _anything_ to keep her mind off the fact that the results of the footy are not enjoyable. As dirty and offensive as it sounds, you could even help her recognise the interesting aspects of what the _other_ team is doing (but maintain 'support' for the right team).

Fun is the most important thing for little kids. Did I mention to keep it fun?

Exactly this. My grandfather and I often go with his new son (yes, I have an uncle less than half my age) and we'll be watching our players butcher the ball time and time again, then we'll turn to little Michael who's playing with his iPod Touch. My grandfather gets all mad, but I reckon if you can get them to be happy to go to the football when they're young, the rest is easy. Once we get good, then it'll be more interesting, so as long as you can keep them happy about going to the footy (regardless of whether they watch what's going on or not), then the hard part is done.

[DeeSpencer 25,713]

Take her to more games. The wins may have been few and far between but their have been some good ones in the last 3 years.

If you are only going to make it to select games, take her to the winnable ones! Richmond in round 4 should be a good start, I fancy we should at least manage more than 1 goal to half time.

[Curry & Beer 5,444]

Why do you so readily accept such a pathetic performance?

After pondering your signature I have low expectations as to the quality of your reply.

oh great personal attacks for no reason

who said anything about accepting it?

what i'm not going to do is sit around having a cry about it and say how much poo we are in

you lot talk about the team lacking heart and spine and look at this thread, it's about little girls crying and it seems like some of the ones posting have personal experience in that area

tell your kids that life isn't always fair, and that over it's journey you are going to experience some hard times... when this happens you keep your chin up and keep fighting, you don't sit down in the corner and sook

[Nasher 33,616]

tell your kids that life isn't always fair, and that over it's journey you are going to experience some hard times... when this happens you keep your chin up and keep fighting, you don't sit down in the corner and sook

As I said before, that is complete garbage. A totally inappropriate response to a six year old. She is not going to get the message, and she's going to want to do something else next week if you said that. It's not going to be effective for a 9 or 10 year old either. If we were talking about a 15 year old, this might make more sense.

[Curry & Beer 5,444]

As I said before, that is complete garbage. A totally inappropriate response to a six year old. She is not going to get the message, and she's going to want to do something else next week if you said that. It's not going to be effective for a 9 or 10 year old either. If we were talking about a 15 year old, this might make more sense.

so what are you looking for as an answer? you've already concluded there cannot be one so why are you labouring the point?

BTW like another poster above my comments were directed more at a lot of the 36-year old kids that are on the site at the moment, than to the actual kid in question

[Dappa Dan 2,188]

hard as this might sound...send a copy (above) to the club...maybe it will hit a nerve and feel some sympathy for our young supporters.

That's not a half bad idea.

First i would just like to say hi to everybody I am a member and have been now for 12 years i also had a kids membership many years ago now. Second i go for the DEMONS because of my late father and watch the great Robert Flower tear up the MCG,

I cried many a tears as a young girl like your little one did on the weekend. When she gets older she will not only hold a soft spot for our club, she will also look back at the time she spent with her dad.

Welcome. Your point is not lost.

I was referring to the general hand-wringing and gnashing of teeth evident on this website as if we're the first team to ever get belted than saying the kids should 'harden up'.

It's a fan-based footy forum... and it's OBVIOUS the team has not gotten any better in three years. I would be more worried if what you want came true and no-one was upset. Would prove that MFC supporters didn't care.

you lot talk about the team lacking heart and spine and look at this thread, it's about little girls crying and it seems like some of the ones posting have personal experience in that area

tell your kids that life isn't always fair, and that over it's journey you are going to experience some hard times... when this happens you keep your chin up and keep fighting, you don't sit down in the corner and sook

You want him to say that to his little girl...

Wow. Just.... wow. Even for a net forum that's breaking new ground in the ridiculous category.

[Nasher 33,616]

so what are you looking for as an answer? you've already concluded there cannot be one so why are you labouring the point?

BTW like another poster above my comments were directed more at a lot of the 36-year old kids that are on the site at the moment, than to the actual kid in question

Lots of people provided good answers in this thread to deal with the situation.

And if you (and harry) are just making generalisations about people being hysterical over the loss, you chose a piss poor thread to do it in because 1) nobody's doing that in this thread and 2) it made you look like a dill as it appears that you are telling a 6 year old to harden up.

[Salems Lot 2,535]

My mum took me to my first game in 1969 v the toiges ("make them shoosh mum,its too noisy") I was 5 at the time and had just experienced my first Demon flogging. Through all of those appalling years of low returns, the thing that kept me interested and passionate about the Dees was my own Mother's passion. I learnt about loving the team in spite of victory or loss from her. How often she would say to me and my 2 brothers "oh well boys, there is always next week" It is a conditioning that has lasted through life for me. The closure for us was being with her at the Western Oval in 87 and leaping about like lunatics after the siren when we had made the finals. She even managed to break her ankle in the excitement!!

What I am trying to say is that your 6 year old will pickup on your passion and pride in your club just by being there with you. I started taking my son in 2006 when he was 18 months old so at least he saw us play a bit of reasonable footy (LOL), in fact he didn't see us lose for the first 6 games, amazing when you think of it now. Funnily enough, my 2 nephews started following the Dees about 15 years ago when they regularly were experiencing highs. Now we have dropped off the pace, so has their interest...maybe it pays to do the hard yard early so that you really enjoy and appreciate the good times all the more.

You keep your faith and she will follow.

Go DEES

[Summer Blease 0]

Young kids are all for the instant gratification and are not yet equipt or jaded enough to be able to comprehend this 'lifes tough, chin up' philosophy. I feel although a little girls feelings have been hurt is bad, the long term ramifications re possible affect this may have on future membership numbers are more worrying.

How many possible non family descision based new youngsters could have possibly jumped on board in the last few years? Not much i'd say.. it's hard keeping a young ones mind focused on 'future success' when they only care about whats on show at that point in time on that day.

[Curry & Beer 5,444]

Young kids are all for the instant gratification and are not yet equipt or jaded enough to be able to comprehend this 'lifes tough, chin up' philosophy. I feel although a little girls feelings have been hurt is bad, the long term ramifications re possible affect this may have on future membership numbers are more worrying.

How many possible non family descision based new youngsters could have possibly jumped on board in the last few years? Not much i'd say.. it's hard keeping a young ones mind focused on 'future success' when they only care about whats on show at that point in time on that day.

but as I said, we are not the first or last club to go through this type of thing... look at Richmond (last 3 decades), Carlton (last decade), the Saints and Dogs with their one flag each, the Cats 40-odd year drought, even the Hawks, and even ourselves through the 70s, all these clubs went through long unsuccessful periods and they are still around

we'll be back up and so will our crowds and memberships

[dees189227 12,394]

It's ok in a few years when we are actually good she will be be growing up with her team regularly playing finals. (Fingers crossed) Tell her that there will be worse teams than us in the future.

I remember being at the StKilda game at Waverley in 1997 when Gutnick went on triple m at half time and bagged Neil Balme. It was raining, cold and we were getting thrashed. But my parents made us stay to the end because thats what you do as a supporter. Or in 1996 when Hawthorn were thrashing us at Waverley and it came up on the scoreboard that Fitzroy beat remantle putting us to the bottom of the ladder. All hawks fans cheered because Fitzroy had finally won a game.

Just keep taking her because as a supporter you go through the good and bad times. There are 45 years old supporters out there who have been waiting a long time to see a premiership. Your daughter is 6. Victory will come.

[Jaded No More 68,922]

Life is a series of disasters and disappointments. Good to get used to it early.

Bit early to tell them that life's a [censored] and then you die... come on, they need to be teenagers going through puberty before they figure that one out!

But I actually think that while you have to distract the kids from the fact that we suck, supporting a footy team is a good life lesson, because often in life the things you love the most will end up disappointing or hurting you and you just need to stick it out and have some faith. It's about not giving up when something is too hard.

To be honest, it seems a lot of the grown ups around here need to be taught that lesson as well.

[Demon Tragic 0]

Picture this...

At the footy with my 6 year old daughter. All summer she has been keen to go to the footy, really picked up a passion for it (no idea from where, it's not from me.) She buys a flag at the ground so she can wave it around as she has seen other supporters do when a goal has been kicked. She has no idea about the game, just already loves the Dees and laughs at her friends for barracking for other teams!

Claps them out onto the ground, cheers for them as they run out etc etc. Cut to 50 minutes later, we haven't kicked a goal, she hasn't been able to wave the flag. She is now sitting in her chair, hardly watching, looking like she is about to cry, I ask her what is wrong and she says "why don't the demons score? why are they so bad?" 50 minutes into the season and they have already wrecked her!

Three years now she has been going to the games, on and off, hasn't seen a victory yet. You can't explain to her that the team is young, they are rebuilding and all that other rubbish. She just wants to see one win, but after seeing what we dished out on saturday, I can't see that happening this year!

I have the same problems with my 6 year old son! Although he is so indoctrinated now that he tells everyone that asks why he would bother to barrack for Melbourne to give them a chance, they're just kids, they're just learning. I have started recording every Melbourne game on my Austar and when we win a game, I'll just replay that for him so he thinks we are winning more often!

Mind you, if it keeps going like this, I might be the one who starts asking why they don't score and why they're so bad!

[Little Goffy 14,568]

Kids just can't be expected to have the kind of stamina for punishment that adults have. Though there have been a few stories offered on here that remind me why the Demons have the highest support-to-member conversion of any club.

You don't support the Demons because it's the easy option, that's for sure!

My best suggestion is similar to Demon Tragic, above.

Invest in some classic games. Get yourself the 2000 Qalifying and Preliminary Finals.

Get one of the great Queens Birthday wins, from just a few years ago. Tell them, and SHOW them, that it isn't always like this, and that we're coming back.

Tell them that Ron Barassi is the greatest AFL person ever, and that he is a Demon.

Tell them that the Norm Smith Medal is awarded in honour of a Demon.

Tell them that we were the undisputed greatest. And we're on a mission to be the greatest again.

[beelzebub 23,377]

Picture this...

I entirely sympathise.. .. My son gave up on us years back...he still has a Dee jumper with 36 on its back..but has littel or no interest in footy anymore... "Demons suck dad !!"...hard to argue

Daughter defected to StKilda years ago...cant really blame her either... she gleefully laughs at me often ..when they win and we dont !! She laughs a lot !!

[Demonator 93]

Well, my heart just broke too.

My only advice would be to make sure it remains fun, even if the team's losing. Do something else fun (get an icecream for example) before or after the game to make the whole day fun, not just the football. During the periods where the side is playing like complete arse (50 minutes of no goals would be one of those....) distract her with conversation, explain to her some of the subtleties of the game (if she's interested), just do _anything_ to keep her mind off the fact that the results of the footy are not enjoyable. As dirty and offensive as it sounds, you could even help her recognise the interesting aspects of what the _other_ team is doing (but maintain 'support' for the right team).

Fun is the most important thing for little kids. Did I mention to keep it fun?

Absolutely spot on Nasher! If she isn't going to enjoy the footy, make sure she still enjoys 'some part' of the day so she at least goes home with a smile on her face and can forget the footy til next time.

I used to do the exact same thing during the 80's with my dad! We got the @ss flogged out of us most weeks, but I used to get so excited throwing my number 2 long sleeve jumper on, getting the train into the ground, grabbing some hot jam donuts and laughing at dad scream his head off for reasons I can only understand now!

I can't wait for the day I am fortunate enough to have some kids and one day take them to watch the Dees. Hopefully they are winning games by then, and hey, if they aren't - I'll just try and make the day fun for 'them!'

[Dee Fan 3,247]

I take my 6 year old Grand son and he hasn't quite worked ouut winning and losing yet although he is starting to get the drift. I usually make a big deal of the day itself and he gets excited to be going. I make sure he has some chips, both hot and cold and a drink and an icy pole. We sit and talk about other things when the football is not so good and I try to distract him from the game itself.

It was easier last year and he is a bit more aware now so I will have to think up some other distractions. Where we sit there are a lot of players that aren't playing that day so we can always hunt out an autograph or two. I feel sorry for him and my Boys who are all Demon Tragics and wish I'd given them a choice although they never complain and would never change.

[H_T 3,047]

I take my 6 year old Grand son and he hasn't quite worked ouut winning and losing yet although he is starting to get the drift. I usually make a big deal of the day itself and he gets excited to be going. I make sure he has some chips, both hot and cold and a drink and an icy pole. We sit and talk about other things when the football is not so good and I try to distract him from the game itself.

It was easier last year and he is a bit more aware now so I will have to think up some other distractions. Where we sit there are a lot of players that aren't playing that day so we can always hunt out an autograph or two. I feel sorry for him and my Boys who are all Demon Tragics and wish I'd given them a choice although they never complain and would never change.

Here's another thing, talk up a new player like Trengove or Scully for the kids to follow. Purchase a jumper (if you can) with a number on it, they get enjoyment out of that and they'll most likely follow that player with interest. Or give them a choice of what number they would like (after a few suggestions).. . Keep things positive despite any disappointment, that's my motto.

[45HG 1,539]

Purchase a jumper (if you can)

Or badge

[bing181 9,240]

I have a couple of young(er) kids, and my son follows the Dees. We live OS, so only get to see a game or two every couple of years, so I envy you even being able to take your daughter to the footy, win or loose.

She may or may not go on with it, and support the Dees or not, but she'll never forget those afternoons at the G, just as I'll never forget standing in the outer at Princess Park with my dad to watch Carlton back in the 60's.

Some great suggestions here about how to handle winning/losing, but just being there together is what it's all about. For all of us.

It's a grand old flag.

B

[Chook 15,013]

Here's another thing, talk up a new player like Trengove or Scully for the kids to follow. Purchase a jumper (if you can) with a number on it, they get enjoyment out of that and they'll most likely follow that player with interest. Or give them a choice of what number they would like (after a few suggestions).. . Keep things positive despite any disappointment, that's my motto.

Yeah. My name's Jimmy and I had Jim Stynes to look up to when I was young at the footy. Him having the same name as me really helped me to identify with him. So I'd watch us when we were losing by nearly a hundred points and say "Jimmy'll win it for us," not knowing that there was about five minutes left in the last quarter. As long as they've got something to interest them at the game, then all is not lost.