If we beat the pies I will ...

[Yossarian 1,820]

Change my name by deep pole to Andrew Tranquilli

Sounds painful.

Of course you'd like that one, BBO.

[KingDingAling 3,752]

Be interesting to see who we tag. Adams and Crisp have been in as good a form as Pendles.

Swan is arguably in better form than all the above. They've been playing well without winning.

Gawn vs Grundy will be a good ruck duel as well.

[pineapple dee 2,892]

I have tipped 2 upsets this weekend, Tigers to beat "the arrogant ones " Tick and dees to beat the pies. But I have only been getting the first leg of doubles up at the tote for the last fortnight, so that's not a good omen.

[Little Goffy 14,389]

Collingwood are on their longest losing streak since they tanked, in 2005.

I have every confidence that we can pull off a 'miraculous' win just like the Kangaroos did back then.

It was incredible! The 'Roos managed to kick seven goals in the final quarter after just 8 total for the rest of the game, to win by just one goal!

More materially, if Collingwood lose to us, it just about ends their finals chances. They would need to pick up at least one win on ALL THREE of North, Geelong and Western Sydney. North play Carlton and Geelong play Brisbane, so expect Collingwood to be two wins behind two teams by the end of the round.

So if we win, I will laugh and laugh and laugh, because even in the darkest times we would have ended Collingwood's season.

[Mr Steve 3,820]

We just have to keep the Pies to under 60 points for the game.

[SaberFang 7,151]

Somehow I expect Buckley is coaching his team in an effort to play finals, not an effort to fall down the ladder and secure another top draft pick.

Of course, they may view this season as their final "key draft period" for this phase of their cycle; they'll be enjoying many years at the top from next year if their development stays the course.

[Moonshadow 17,672]

How is Tranquillllli spelt?

[Emerald 1,744]

... wake up on Saturday morning from a pleasant dream.

If I wake up in the next 5 minutes,I'm gonna be p*ssed off.

[Bitter but optimistic 22,216]

Undergo gender re-assignment surgery.

I'll help you choose your new wardrobe Ms Biff!!

[Ethan Tremblay 30,778]

I'll help you choose your new wardrobe Ms Biff!!

Caitlin Biffin has a nice ring to it.

[Young Dee 1,303]

press "like" on one of picket fence's posts.

We will forgive you for accidentally... pressing it twice

[Bitter but optimistic 22,216]

Caitlin Biffin has a nice ring to it.

Ha ha ha ! Yes good but what do you think of Shazza? It's more vulgar and slatternly!

[Ethan Tremblay 30,778]

Ha ha ha ! Yes good but what do you think of Shazza? It's more vulgar and slatternly!

Shazza is definitely more Biffens style, and I reckon a Shazza would have a bigger rack than a Caitlin.

[Moonshadow 17,672]

Caitlin Biffin has a nice ring to it.

Mauve suits him better

[daisycutter 29,594]

Shazza is definitely more Biffens style, and I reckon a Shazza would have a bigger rack than a Caitlin.

i like Peggy just to remind him of the old days

[Bitter but optimistic 22,216]

Shazza is definitely more Biffens style, and I reckon a Shazza would have a bigger rack than a Caitlin.

Yes, I'm sure Shazza Biffen won't spare the silicone!

Mauve suits him better

That can the colour of her lingerie!

[Moonshadow 17,672]

That can be the colour of her lingerie!

Before the stains.

[Little Goffy 14,389]

We just have to keep the Pies to under 60 points for the game.

Nicely done.

Also...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Eat it, Magpies, you're not playing any finals this year.

SEASON. OVER.

[Coq au vin 755]

Be very surprised.

I am very surprised.

[Coq au vin 755]

It was a lot of fun sitting in a corporate box that a Collingwood supporter friend had hired with a lot of disappointed Pies supporters and three Dees supporters!

[Bitter but optimistic 22,216]

Undergo gender re-assignment surgery.

It will give taking the pizz a whole new spin!

[Biffen 12,940]

Shazza is definitely more Biffens style, and I reckon a Shazza would have a bigger rack than a Caitlin.

i may be cheap but I am not tacky.

You may call me Ellen from now on ,in honour of my favourite role model .

[Moonshadow 17,672]

i may be cheap but I am not tacky.

You may call me Ellen from now on ,in honour of my favourite role model .

Ellen Wilson. Thought you didn't like mixing politics and footy?

[La Dee-vina Comedia 16,664]

...check the calendar to make sure it's not April 1.

Just checked and it was indeed 1 August 2015 yesterday.

Now, is everyone else going to do what they said they'd do?

[Sir Why You Little 36,867]

Biffen say goodbye to the wedding tackle mate