MATCH PREVIEW AND TEAM SELECTION

[Demonland 70,281]

HORSE FEATHERS by Whispering Jack

Alison Caldwell on the ABC on Mark Neeld this week:

Well, I've heard from a few of my contacts at the Melbourne Football Club that he has been sacked and that he'll be temporarily replaced by an acting coach whose name I can't remember.

The name Ms. Caldwell was probably struggling to find was Quincy Adams Wagstaff who, like Neeld, is an educator. Here's Wagstaff in action:

According to some, Melbourne needs a coach who is against everything; who will try nothing and do nothing in order to keep the level of the media's concentration on its current plight.

Wagstaff presents the ideal scenario for the Demons but what makes him so appealing is the fact that he has several brothers who can act as his able assistants including brother Pinky who would make an excellent spokesperson for the club because he never talks.

There's so much white noise reverberating around the club at this time that Pinky's role should be a welcome addition in place of the random meaningless talk that abounds around and about the club. We need more action and less talk.

Some of the talk in recent times has been particularly destructive but a some of it might have been helpful. However, while it might be well-intentioned (e.g. this), its all horse feathers - stuff of which weve already been made well aware and know and is therefore better left unsaid and dealt with in the manner in which Pinky deals with such things.

The only unfortunate aspect of Wagstaff's appointment as coach in the place of Mark Neeld (if indeed, he is the man who's name Ms. Caldwell can't remember) is that the new coach cannot bring to the club the action that's needed to win games.

Why?

Because he's against it!

THE GAME Melbourne v. Collingwood at the MCG Monday 10 June 2013 at 3.20pm

HEAD TO HEAD

Overall Melbourne 79 wins Collingwood 143 wins 5 draws

At the MCG Melbourne 59 wins Collingwood 76 wins 3 draws

Since 2000 Melbourne 5 wins Collingwood 10 wins 1 draw

The Coaches Neeld 0 wins Buckley 1 win

MEDIA

TV - Channel 7 & Fox Footy Channel live from 3.00pm.

RADIO - SEN ABC 3AW Triple M

THE BETTING Melbourne to win $ 17.00 Collingwood to win $1.01

LAST TIME THEY MET

Collingwood 19.15.129 defeated Melbourne 13.9.87 in Round 11, 2012 at the MCG.

Melbourne started poorly and conceded six goals to nil in the first quarter before regrouping and showing some of the spirit that had been missing for most of the season. With Jones and Grimes working hard in the midfield and Clark and Howe livening up the forward line, they threatened but unfortunately, some dreadful turnovers prevented them from getting close before the Pies reasserted their position.

THE TEAMS

MELBOURNE

Backs Lynden Dunn Cameron Pedersen Dean Terlich

Half backs Colin Garland Tom McDonald Sam Blease

Centreline Jack Trengove Colin Sylvia Michael Evans

Half forwards Jeremy Howe Jack Fitzpatrick Jack Watts

Forwards David Rodan Chris Dawes Aaron Davey

Followers Mark Jamar Matt Jones Nathan Jones

Interchange Dean Kent Jordie McKenzie Luke Tapscott Jimmy Toumpas

Emergencies Rohan Bail Max Gawn James Sellar

In Sam Blease Max Gawn Tom McDonald Colin Sylvia

Out Rohan Bail James Frawley (hamstring) Joel Macdonald (foot) James Strauss

COLLINGWOOD

Backs Nathan Brown Ben Reid Heritier O'Brien

Half backs Heath Shaw Nick Maxwell Marley Williams

Centreline Steele Sidebottom Brent Macaffer Luke Ball

Half forwards Jamie Elliott Quinten Lynch Dane Swan

Forwards Ben Kennedy Travis Cloke Alan Didak

Followers Darren Jolly Scott Pendlebury Jarryd Blair

Interchange Josh Thomas Ben Sinclair Kyle Martin Paul Seedsman

Emergencies Martin Clarke Jackson Paine Adam Oxley

In Travis Cloke Ben Sinclair

Out Martin Clarke Andrew Krakouer

DUCK SOUP

As if the unfortunate Ms. Caldwell's remarks weren't sufficient evidence of the media's descent into some sort of collective madness presaged recently by the incoherent rantings of the chief football writer for a former broadsheet now turned tabloid but unworthy of wrapping fish 'n chips, this takes the potato cake:-

That's right folks. Even the once mighty Kiss of Death has taken leave of his/her/its senses and predicts Collingwood will fall to Melbourne by a margin of 13 points. Appropriately, there's a Men's Grand Slam singles final on the night before the game which allows me to segue beautifully into one of the greatest quotes from the history of such tournaments:-

You can't be serious, man. You CANNOT BE SERIOUS!"

The whole world knows that Melbourne's average winning margin in matches this season is an AFL high of 41 points. With the eyes of the football world well and truly upon us, we are not going to lower our standards one iota on Queen's Birthday. We will win the game by 42 points. Yes - you heard it first right here.

[Editor's note: Just in case you're a sceptic, remember that last week's DEMONLAND reviewer George On The Outer predicted a 15 goal Hawthorn victory which, but for David Rodan's miss after the ¾ time buzzer, would have been spot on the mark.]

While my main motivation in tipping a Melbourne victory is that KOD went for Collingwood and he/she/it usually gets them wrong, there are other reasons.

Since the first two rounds of the season, the Magpies have struggled to put together wins on the trot and there are rumours of trouble in their camp. Buckley seems to be on the nose. Dane Swan is said to have even added a new tattoo of Bucks with a target imprinted on his forehead (we just don't know what part of Swan's anatomy houses this feature).

The Demons, on the other hand, have been a model of stability and consistency throughout the season. As they say in the classics, "what you see is what you get." Despite Ms. Caldwell's above gaffe, the Board has full confidence in its coach. The letter of dismissal was never sent - it was dealt with in the way that Rufus T Firefly (coach Quicy's alter ego) did it in Duck Soup:-

FIREFLY: To my dentist. Er .. 'Dear Dentist: Enclosed find cheque for five hundred dollars. Yours very truly.' Send that off immediately.

BOB:I'll ... er I'll have to enclose the cheque first.

FIREFLY: You do and I'll fire you.

And there you have it - nobody got fired at Melbourne (at least not this week).

In fact, a remarkable thing is happening at Demonland before our very eyes. Young people with a bit of talent are infiltrating their way into the team. This week Jimmy Toumpas quietly makes his way back into the side along with Sam Blease. Last week it was Jack Fitzpatrick and the week before, Dean Kent. Soon we'll see Jack Viney, Max Gawn and maybe even Rory Taggert in the 22. Together with some of the mature age players introduced this year as well as the return of our injured stars, the addition to the mix of Jeff Kennett, will really make this place rock.

OK, I'm not serious about Jeff but his style reminds me of the words of the slightly less than immortal Rufus T. Firefly:-

If any form of pleasure is exhibited, report to me and it will be prohibited! I'll put my foot down, so shall it be... this is the land of the free! The last man nearly ruined this place he didn't know what to do with it. If you think this country's bad off now, just wait till I get through with it! The country's taxes must be fixed, and I know what to do with it. If you think you're paying too much now, just wait till I get through with it!

That's Melbourne these days but whilst I've proved the case for a Demon win by 42 points on Monday, please don't tell the Ox.

He's against it!

[titan_uranus 24,627]

Notables - McDonald and Sylvia go straight in.

With Fitzpatrick holding his spot, can't see how Gawn gets in (too tall).

McDonald takes Sellar's spot, so I'd go with McKenzie, Blease, Kent and Tapscott.

[Wadda We Sing 10,685]

At least Sylvia and McDonald is a plus....bum about Frawley.

[deanox 9,662]

Jordie McKenzie, Sam Blease, James Sellar, Dean Kent, Luke Tapscott, Max Gawn, Rohan Bail on the bench, I can't see a spot for Seller, although to be honest I think he would've been a better in the Tom Mc giventhe size of the Collingwood forwards.

I agree RE Gawn struggling for a game with Fitzpatrick in. The forward line is interesting, Dawes and Fitzpatrick are genuine talls, and while Howe and Watts are tall, neither play the traditional tall role, the are genuine rangy flankers. If there is intention to play Watts or Howe further down the field (in the mid or defence) there is potentitally a spot for Gawn as second ruck 3rd tall in the forward line, with Fitz and Gawn forward and Dawes playing like he did last week, further up the ground as a leading forward. I think I'd prefer the runners on the bench though.

Blease and Kent get their spots on the bench, McKenzie holds his spot as a tagger - with Sylvia back in as an attacking midfielder, McKenzies is easier to carry in the role of a tagger - and its a coin toss between Bail and Tapscott for the last spot. Bail runs harder but has really struggled to hurt the opposition with missed shots on goal. In his defence he seems to be one of the only players generating shots on goal! Tapscott adds toughness but he just hasn't been finding enough of it for me.

I've talked myself around, I had Bail missing but now its Tapscott, Gawn and Seller.

[The Yarra 83]

There is something so good about watching the Melbourne Football Club play on the MCG come Queens Birthday.

This week I call on fans. And we are exactly that - Fans of the Melbourne Football Club regardless of who's coach or administering, to get to the G.

[Nasher 33,607]

Agree with your changes titan. I thought Sellar might be the choice for Cloke, but I'm not sure that leaves us well balanced. On the other hand though, Kent and Tapscott are currently both low possession flankers; how many of those do we need? I like Kent more at present. Sellar and Tapscott fighting to be the 22nd best player for mine. Seems a trivial decision for all the difference it will make.

[DeeSpencer 24,764]

Yep I'd go with McKenzie, Blease, Kent and either of Bail/Tapscott not too fussed. Probably prefer Tapscott to get some big game experience and see if he can get back in form.

I know Strauss was pretty awful last week but you'd think the coaches would have some faith and just remind him of some defensive things. His kicking was super and set up a few nice plays. If as this team suggests he gets replaced by Joel Macdonald I shudder at that kicking from the backline. Could do Howe to HBF for some run and creativity. Or Watts to the backline again?!

Another option would be just that, Watts to the backline and Gawn to full forward, Fitzy to a pocket and be tall up forward, but we might only get beat by more going tall.

Pedersen or Tommy Mc for Cloke? That won't end well either way. Maybe Pedersen from in front and McDonald from behind?

[deanox 9,662]

Its frustrating that our injury list is three of the first picked players - Mitch, Jack G, Frawley - and 2 of the next group picked Jack Viney and Byrnes. Arguably 4 of our top 6 or 8 players and 5 of our top 12 or 15.

It isn't a massive injury list, but for an average team with a poor list, adding three of those back in makes a huge difference when you realise that the guys who wouldn't get games are Pederson, Fitzpatrick and Bail.

[DemonWA 3,884]

Reckon they might go tall?

Gawn, Fitzy and Dawes in the forward line?

Who have the Pies got to play on them?

I understand we will struggle to kick it down to them very often, but the Pies dont have much in the way of tall backs do they? Reid, Brown and Maxwell? Hardly tall enough for gawn AND Fitz?

Worth a punt at this stage i reckon!

[dees189227 12,146]

Hopefully we see Sylvia show some grunt. Whoever plays on Harry O has to take him to the goal square and not let him run off. Harry struggles if he is one one 1 and is forced to defend.

Anyway i will be interesting to see what we do this week,

[Generation dee 1,336]

Play fitzy ff, Dawes CHF, rest gawn/jamar deep. Tappy the sub or bail..

It just dawned on me. Could Mckenzie play defensive forward? Obviously not going to kick 11 for us, but the ball comes to ground, he is very defensive. Would apply great pressure and stop the ball going out so quick. One of swan, pendles or sidebottom will miss I think. Use Dunn to tag in the midfield.

Last year sellar killed Dawes, so I think he plays on lynch or cloke.pederson first crack at cloke. Not sure where macca fits in. The issue is small forwards. Bruest and puopolo tore us to shreds, and this week Blair, sidebottom, didak, Paine and Elliot will do the same.

Edited June 6, 2013 by Generation dee

[deanox 9,662]

Whoever plays on Cloke must not be isolated.

Rivers got killed (last year?) by Cloke but it because the Collingwood players dragged the other MFC backmen away from Cloke/Rivers. With Seller in, we may have been able to match gorilla for gorilla, but with Pederson and Tom Mc as our backmen, we need to make sure someone is able to drop back and support.

For me this will be the most important part of the game, to see how our coaching staff reacts to what I expect Collingwood will do again after giving us a pasting with this tactic last time.

[CHAMP 347]

Reckon they might go tall?

Gawn, Fitzy and Dawes in the forward line?

Who have the Pies got to play on them?

I understand we will struggle to kick it down to them very often, but the Pies dont have much in the way of tall backs do they? Reid, Brown and Maxwell? Hardly tall enough for gawn AND Fitz?

Worth a punt at this stage i reckon!

It may be madness but I see method in it.

[rjay 24,604]

Kent is a must, he created goals last game, and he is the best tackle in the team.

[chookrat 4,205]

There is something so good about watching the Melbourne Football Club play on the MCG come Queens Birthday.

This week I call on fans. And we are exactly that - Fans of the Melbourne Football Club regardless of who's coach or administering, to get to the G.

Hear hear

[FarNorthernD 5,861]

Very nice to read everyone discussing the game, who should play and who should play on whom. No other nonsense

See you all at the game

Go Dees

[Dockett 32 1,237]

Lost interest as soon as I saw Sellar in and no Davis.

Very nice to read everyone discussing the game, who should play and who should play on whom. No other nonsense

See you all at the game

Go Dees

[CHAMP 347]

Hear hear

It restores my faith in humanity to see the occasional Hear! Hear! instead of Here Here. Bravo!

[monoccular 17,321]

It restores my faith in humanity to see the occasional Hear! Hear! instead of Here Here. Bravo!

Isn't it actually, hear here?

[DeeSpencer 24,764]

Lost interest as soon as I saw Sellar in and no Davis.

The way I see it it's McDonald in ahead of Davis. Really though I think you wouldn't be overly impressed by Davis. His skills rival McDonalds for poor and he doesn't have the speed, height or endurance of McDonald.

He'd be a fresh face and robust as opposed to Sellar but not clean with the ball.

[CHAMP 347]

Isn't it actually, hear here?

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1489/why-do-people-say-hear-hear

[Pates 9,625]

Bit surprised their throwing Tmac in straight away but good luck to him. I can't see us playing all of Jamar, Dawes, Fitzy, and Gawn in the same team so Gawn will be out as will Sellar.

I hope Sylvia is feeling rested and ready to go (no reason why he shouldn't), would really like to see him have a good game v Pies.

Final bench for me: McKenzie, Blease, Kent, Tappy (sub)

Edited June 6, 2013 by Pates

[Cards13 9,117]

Reckon they might go tall?

Gawn, Fitzy and Dawes in the forward line?

Who have the Pies got to play on them?

I understand we will struggle to kick it down to them very often, but the Pies dont have much in the way of tall backs do they? Reid, Brown and Maxwell? Hardly tall enough for gawn AND Fitz?

Worth a punt at this stage i reckon!

They will bring it to ground and just run it out with no pressure if we go that tall.

[Undeeterred 3,045]

I think it will be too wet to go too tall, and in any event we need running defenders to go with their smalls.

We just need to cover off on Cloke with someone (really think Sellar is the go here), and put as much run and carry in as we can.

[titan_uranus 24,627]

Its frustrating that our injury list is three of the first picked players - Mitch, Jack G, Frawley - and 2 of the next group picked Jack Viney and Byrnes. Arguably 4 of our top 6 or 8 players and 5 of our top 12 or 15.

It isn't a massive injury list, but for an average team with a poor list, adding three of those back in makes a huge difference when you realise that the guys who wouldn't get games are Pederson, Fitzpatrick and Bail.

A salient point.

Final bench for me: McKenzie, Blease, Kent, Tappy (sub)

I originally thought Blease would get the vest, but then I thought to myself, if they want Blease to make it, they need to see that he can bring defensive qualities to his game, and that he can do it for a whole match. So I'd play Blease all day, get him to show that he can chase hard in the first quarter and the last (even if we're down). He'll also know that substitution awaits if he doesn't live up to his expectation.

I'd go with Tapscott for the vest too.