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Tom Sparrow Re-Signs Until 2026

Demonland
in Melbourne Demons

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Great rumour Ralphy

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    AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    honestly my 4yo kid could be a better journalist than half of the afl journos. and he can barely write. 

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    Ah well, looks like the Crows will need to do what they do best and scavenge, elsewhere. 

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    Very, very happy to read a good news story for a change. Two days in a row - Clarry yesterday and Sparrow resigning today. The future looks bright ❤️💙

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    I'm hoping the next story Ralphy breaks is Petty is ready to sign for the Crows. 

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    Well, now that the Ralph rumour has been exposed for the BS it always was and Tom Sparrow has re-signed with the mighty Demons, I'd like to share a fascinating story I read recently about crows of the feathered variety.

    Researchers for VicRoads found over 200 dead crows on the Western Highway near Horsham recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu.

    A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows and, to everybody's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely not Avian Flu.  Rather, the cause of death appeared to be vehicular impact.

    During the detailed investigation, it was noted that varying colours of paint appeared on the birds' beaks and claws.  By analysing these paint residues, it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks while only 2% were killed by impact with cars.

    VicRoads then hired an ornithological behaviourist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentage of truck kills versus car kills.

    The expert very quickly concluded the cause.  When crows eat roadkill, they always have a lookout crow in a nearby tree or high vantage point to warn of impending danger.

    They discovered that all the lookout crows could shout "Cah!" but not a single one could shout "Truck!".

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    A mature man who knows what he wants is sparra. He’s made the decision too put away all the bs and I would hope too put us supporters at ease, knowingly or not. Go Dee’s 

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    6 hours ago, Dannyz said:

    I've heard that Sparrow has re-signed. Great news!

    Well done again.

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    I wonder if this was leaked by our media department to old dopey Ralphy, as a way of then illustrating that despite our players being in high demand by other clubs, our players are still re-signing. Ala, we are well and truly on top of our "cultural problems".

    That's how I'd play 4D chess anyway. Too Machiavellian?

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    But is he the right guy?????

     

    :cool::goody2::ph34r:

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    Very funny thread this one.  Really hoping Tom goes next level and he has that opportunity.

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    1 minute ago, adonski said:

    Pleasantly relieved with the modest length of the deal

    I would almost guarantee this would have been driven by Sparrow and his management backing him to improve his stocks and sign a much more lucrative deal in 2026 rather than the club being conservative, if we could have locked him up for 5 i reckon we would have jumped at it.

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    2 minutes ago, Dwight Schrute said:

    I would almost guarantee this would have been driven by Sparrow and his management backing him to improve his stocks and sign a much more lucrative deal in 2026 rather than the club being conservative, if we could have locked him up for 5 i reckon we would have jumped at it.

    I admire their ambitiousness 

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