Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Demonland

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

If current players weren’t playing footy..

Featured Replies

Stewart Dew - Hughes Menswear Salesman

Alistair Clarkson - Anger Management Consultant

Jeff Kennett - Hair Replacement Spruiker

Eddie McGuire - Storeman & Packer

Gil McLachlan - Pan-man

 
  • Our Daisy - Surfer’s Paradise meter maid
  • Elliot – body painter
  • Fritta - fragrance chemist
  • Bailey Smith – personal shopper
  • Himmelberg – software hacker
  • Aliir Aliir – speech therapist
  • Changkuoth Jiath – UN special envoy
  • Viney - nuclear power reactor operator
  • Josh P. Kennedy – sommelier
  • Chol – music festival staffer
  • Rohan – sales assistant at $2 shop
  • Sam Frost – off Broadway, second assistant, stage manager
  • Gryan Miers – first assistant secretary, Dept. Births, Deaths and Marriages
  • Special mention, Stuart Dew - New York City hot dog vendor
     

Edited by Queanbeyan Demon

Tom McDonald: Batman

Jake Bowey: Robin

 
1 hour ago, Queanbeyan Demon said:
  • Gryan Miers – first assistant secretary, Dept. Births, Deaths and Marriages

Gryan Miers registering a couple’s newborn: “if I may, I think you may have made a spelling error. You’ve written Brendan instead of Grendan

Luke Jackson - unsure if he should stay at Mcdonalds or take the money and move to Hungry Jacks.


17 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

I do like fruit picker for Tom Hawkins, I was also thinking cow milker. 

I reckon digging holes is all he'd be good at. I feel like footy smarts is the only smarts there is in that empty melon.

He'd still need someone to tell him when to stop digging too

20 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

What would they be doing..? 

Ben King - Porn star
Zak Jones - Plumber
Joe Daniher - School janitor
Tex Walker - Garbageman
Max Gawn - Barista
Patrick Dangerfield - Lobbyist
Jaeger O’Meara - Abercrombie and Fitch model
Jake Stringer - Bottle shop attendant
Bailey Fritsch - Hair dresser
Tim Membrey - Red Bull salesman
Eric Hipwood - Lead singer of an 80’s glam rock cover band
Cam Rayner - Pool boy
Jack Ziebell - CrossFit instructor
Matt De Boer - Spray tanner
Jack Darling - Ice cream parlour assistant 

Geez ET, Cam Rayner coming over to "clean ze pool"? I just, yeah.. 

 

Jake Melksham -  Sniper 

1 minute ago, Dee Zephyr said:

Jake Melksham -  Sniper 

As Kevin Sheedy once said: "Not all snipers were in Vietnam" 

Charlie Curnow - clown

Tom Hawkins - creepy clown

Gryan Miers - creepier clown

Tex Walker - creepiest clown

 

Edited by Roger Mellie
Typo


On 8/13/2022 at 2:14 PM, WalkingCivilWar said:

Gryan Miers registering a couple’s newborn: “if I may, I think you may have made a spelling error. You’ve written Brendan instead of Grendan

Brilliant!

Hibbo. Fred Flintstone

Bowser. Barney Rubble

Chocko. Mr. Slate

WCW.. Wilma Flintstone

Bitter But Twisted. Mr Gazoo

Daisy Pearce. Betty Rubble

 

41 minutes ago, picket fence said:

Hibbo. Fred Flintstone

Bowser. Barney Rubble

Chocko. Mr. Slate

WCW.. Wilma Flintstone

Bitter But Twisted. Mr Gazoo

Daisy Pearce. Betty Rubble

 

I’ll take that! Thanksies PF 🙂


23 minutes ago, layzie said:

Sam Powell-Pepper - Diesel fuel sales rep

East LA gang leader.

 

Cam Guthrie - couch surfer, reeks of other people's weed.

Joe Daniher - suspect in multiple serial killer investigations, always let go because he's too dumb.

Mitch Brown - dirty cop.

Kozzy - James Brown impersonator.

Tex - replacing Eric Bana in Chopper 2: Hepatitis Boogaloo.

BT - shower curtain rings salesman.

20 minutes ago, Deestroy All said:

East LA gang leader.

 

Cam Guthrie - couch surfer, reeks of other people's weed.

Joe Daniher - suspect in multiple serial killer investigations, always let go because he's too dumb.

Mitch Brown - dirty cop.

Kozzy - James Brown impersonator.

Tex - replacing Eric Bana in Chopper 2: Hepatitis Boogaloo.

BT - shower curtain rings salesman.

Haha, finished strongly there!

 

Stewart Dew - Myers Santa

Jake Bowey - Christmas elf

I believe there's a Canberra version of this which asks what would Scott Morrison be if he wasn't Prime Minister? Every day there's a new job added, such as Minister for Health, Minister for Home Affairs, etc.


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • PREVIEW: Brisbnae

    They really had me fooled when I picked them with great confidence to beat the Bombers at Gather Round last week. I should have recognised that nothing is more quintessentially Melbourne than defeating the undefeated early premiership favourite one week and losing to a winless cellar dweller on its way to establishing a record losing streak the next. 

      • Clap
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 6 replies
  • PREGAME: Brisbane

    The Demons return to Melbourne and the hallowed turf of the MCG where they face dual reigning Premiers Brisbane on Sunday. Who comes in and who goes out?

    • 399 replies
  • REPORT: Essendon

    Melbourne’s much vaunted finishing power evaporated at Adelaide Oval on Saturday afternoon, exposed for the third time in four years by its Essendon Gather Round hoodoo. 

      • Clap
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 15 replies
  • POSTGAME: Essendon

    From knocking off a Premiership contender to getting embarrassed by the winless Bombers who were on a 17 game losing streak .... Welcome Back MFCSS.

      • Haha
    • 384 replies
  • PODCAST: Essendon

    Andy is still away on holidays for the next two weeks but the Demonland Podcast will proceed with Binman at the helm and this week joined by George to bring you their analysis of the disappointing loss to the Bombers.

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Thanks
    • 22 replies
  • VOTES: Essendon

    Captain Max Gawn has built a commanding lead in the Demonland Player of the Year Award from Kozzy Pickett & Jack Steele followed by Jacob van Rooyen and Tom Sparrow. Your votes please from the loss to the Bombers. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

      • Thanks
    • 31 replies

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.