Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Demonland

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

If current players weren’t playing footy..

Featured Replies

Stewart Dew - Hughes Menswear Salesman

Alistair Clarkson - Anger Management Consultant

Jeff Kennett - Hair Replacement Spruiker

Eddie McGuire - Storeman & Packer

Gil McLachlan - Pan-man

 
  • Our Daisy - Surfer’s Paradise meter maid
  • Elliot – body painter
  • Fritta - fragrance chemist
  • Bailey Smith – personal shopper
  • Himmelberg – software hacker
  • Aliir Aliir – speech therapist
  • Changkuoth Jiath – UN special envoy
  • Viney - nuclear power reactor operator
  • Josh P. Kennedy – sommelier
  • Chol – music festival staffer
  • Rohan – sales assistant at $2 shop
  • Sam Frost – off Broadway, second assistant, stage manager
  • Gryan Miers – first assistant secretary, Dept. Births, Deaths and Marriages
  • Special mention, Stuart Dew - New York City hot dog vendor
     

Edited by Queanbeyan Demon

Tom McDonald: Batman

Jake Bowey: Robin

 
1 hour ago, Queanbeyan Demon said:
  • Gryan Miers – first assistant secretary, Dept. Births, Deaths and Marriages

Gryan Miers registering a couple’s newborn: “if I may, I think you may have made a spelling error. You’ve written Brendan instead of Grendan

Luke Jackson - unsure if he should stay at Mcdonalds or take the money and move to Hungry Jacks.


17 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

I do like fruit picker for Tom Hawkins, I was also thinking cow milker. 

I reckon digging holes is all he'd be good at. I feel like footy smarts is the only smarts there is in that empty melon.

He'd still need someone to tell him when to stop digging too

20 hours ago, Ethan Tremblay said:

What would they be doing..? 

Ben King - Porn star
Zak Jones - Plumber
Joe Daniher - School janitor
Tex Walker - Garbageman
Max Gawn - Barista
Patrick Dangerfield - Lobbyist
Jaeger O’Meara - Abercrombie and Fitch model
Jake Stringer - Bottle shop attendant
Bailey Fritsch - Hair dresser
Tim Membrey - Red Bull salesman
Eric Hipwood - Lead singer of an 80’s glam rock cover band
Cam Rayner - Pool boy
Jack Ziebell - CrossFit instructor
Matt De Boer - Spray tanner
Jack Darling - Ice cream parlour assistant 

Geez ET, Cam Rayner coming over to "clean ze pool"? I just, yeah.. 

 

Jake Melksham -  Sniper 

1 minute ago, Dee Zephyr said:

Jake Melksham -  Sniper 

As Kevin Sheedy once said: "Not all snipers were in Vietnam" 

Charlie Curnow - clown

Tom Hawkins - creepy clown

Gryan Miers - creepier clown

Tex Walker - creepiest clown

 

Edited by Roger Mellie
Typo


On 8/13/2022 at 2:14 PM, WalkingCivilWar said:

Gryan Miers registering a couple’s newborn: “if I may, I think you may have made a spelling error. You’ve written Brendan instead of Grendan

Brilliant!

Hibbo. Fred Flintstone

Bowser. Barney Rubble

Chocko. Mr. Slate

WCW.. Wilma Flintstone

Bitter But Twisted. Mr Gazoo

Daisy Pearce. Betty Rubble

 

41 minutes ago, picket fence said:

Hibbo. Fred Flintstone

Bowser. Barney Rubble

Chocko. Mr. Slate

WCW.. Wilma Flintstone

Bitter But Twisted. Mr Gazoo

Daisy Pearce. Betty Rubble

 

I’ll take that! Thanksies PF 🙂


23 minutes ago, layzie said:

Sam Powell-Pepper - Diesel fuel sales rep

East LA gang leader.

 

Cam Guthrie - couch surfer, reeks of other people's weed.

Joe Daniher - suspect in multiple serial killer investigations, always let go because he's too dumb.

Mitch Brown - dirty cop.

Kozzy - James Brown impersonator.

Tex - replacing Eric Bana in Chopper 2: Hepatitis Boogaloo.

BT - shower curtain rings salesman.

20 minutes ago, Deestroy All said:

East LA gang leader.

 

Cam Guthrie - couch surfer, reeks of other people's weed.

Joe Daniher - suspect in multiple serial killer investigations, always let go because he's too dumb.

Mitch Brown - dirty cop.

Kozzy - James Brown impersonator.

Tex - replacing Eric Bana in Chopper 2: Hepatitis Boogaloo.

BT - shower curtain rings salesman.

Haha, finished strongly there!

 

Stewart Dew - Myers Santa

Jake Bowey - Christmas elf

I believe there's a Canberra version of this which asks what would Scott Morrison be if he wasn't Prime Minister? Every day there's a new job added, such as Minister for Health, Minister for Home Affairs, etc.


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • PREVIEW: Fremantle

    The dominant storyline coming out of Round One for Saturday Night’s clash at Optus Stadium centres on the influence of the big men. The spotlight naturally falls on two elite ruckmen who, five years ago, shared the stage in Melbourne’s memorable premiership triumph.

      • Thanks
    • 3 replies
  • NON-MFC: Round 02

    The compromised AFL fixture will get another test this week with the first lot of teams getting a bye after only two matches. Despite this Round 2 starts off with two cracking games as the Hawks host the Swans at the G on Thursday Night and then on Friday Night the Crows host the Bulldogs at Adelaide Oval. Who are you tipping this week and what are the best results for the Demons?

    • 127 replies
  • THE STATS FILES: St. Kilda

    As part of the effort to trim the runtime of the regular podcast, we’ve been looking at which segments could be reshaped without losing what makes them valuable. One segment that naturally came into focus was Binman’s Stats Files. Not because it isn’t important; quite the opposite. It’s become such a substantial and much-loved part of the show that it deserves a little room to breathe.

      • Love
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 13 replies
  • PREGAME: Fremantle

    After a stunning victory over the Saints in the first round of the Season the Demons head over to Perth to take on the Dockers who choked in their first match against the Cats. Who comes in and who goes out?

      • Love
      • Like
    • 188 replies
  • REPORT: St. Kilda

    One of the big stories of the AFL off-season was the spending spree of Melbourne’s Round 1 opponent, St Kilda. They splashed out heavily, first to retain Nasiah Wanganeen-Milera - the hero of last year’s epic come-from-behind miracle victory -turning him into a $2 million man. They then effectively took out an expensive overdraft to recruit a string of expensive players from other clubs. It was a risky investment strategy and, although it’s still early days, it certainly failed to pay off in Sunday’s season opener, with much of the glitter turning to fool’s gold.

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 2 replies
  • POSTGAME: St. Kilda

    Never in doubt!!! In Steven King’s first game at the helm of the Melbourne Football Club, the Dees outlasted Saints in a wild, momentum-swinging thriller at the MCG, running out 13-point winners.

      • Clap
      • Haha
      • Love
      • Like
    • 532 replies

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.