The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Bitter but optimistic 21,313]

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

[Moonshadow 16,247]

51 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

But at least the merc didn't break down or your driver go out on strike in sympathy with the taxi drivers

Edited March 11, 2017 by Moonshadow

[Bitter but optimistic 21,313]

1 minute ago, Moonshadow said:

But at least the merc didn't break down or your driver go out on strike in sympathy of the taxi drivers

True enough Moon, there is always an upside I suppose.

[daisycutter 28,598]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

ouch! 3 of the big 5 in one week

[special robert 438]

Anyone go to Moomba! It was totally awesome. Squirrel found a KFC box that still had a whole piece of chicken in it.

Don't worry Uncle Bitter we got a dentist last week, at the bottom of Queen St going into one of those 24/7 gyms. ......come and hang out with us and we'll look for a vet.

Plumbers are a bit difficult but if there was you me Squirrel and Dingo I reckon we could snare one.

[Bitter but optimistic 21,313]

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

ouch! 3 of the big 5 in one week

Thank you for your sympathetic ear dc. There are some here who seem to take delight in my misfortune.

Who are your other two?

I think we would agree on lawyers. A flogging from those scoundrels leaves one suffering for weeks.

My fifth is my Dermatologist. The tinea you understand. Nasty business that. 

32 minutes ago, special robert said:

Anyone go to Moomba! It was totally awesome. Squirrel found a KFC box that still had a whole piece of chicken in it.

Don't worry Uncle Bitter we got a dentist last week, at the bottom of Queen St going into one of those 24/7 gyms. ......come and hang out with us and we'll look for a vet.

Plumbers are a bit difficult but if there was you me Squirrel and Dingo I reckon we could snare one.

Congratulations on the windfall Special. I trust Squirrel shared the bounty.

As to hanging out with your little group. Well I'm sure you're all fine resourceful fellows but I've always found, and no offence meant,  the world turns a little more easily if we all stay within our given social class.

It's the natural order.

[Spirit of the Demon 209]

I'm sorry you gentlemen are going through such difficult times. I hope you go to church on Sunday mornings and you pray really hard so that you might find deliverance through the success of our football team this season.

[Biffen 12,342]

Special Robert,

 If you gave more attention to your trade and less to the Moomba parade we would all be wealthier .Well I would most likely.Get back to work.Stop gallivanting and start cleaning windscreens .Know your limits!

[Guest]

On 12/03/2017 at 11:06 AM, Spirit of the Demon said:

I'm sorry you gentlemen are going through such difficult times. I hope you go to church on Sunday mornings and you pray really hard so that you might find deliverance through the success of our football team this season.

Shouldn't they be going to a Wiccan ceremony or goat sacrifice if they want us to improve?

[Wrecker45 3,378]

I went to moomba and enjoyed it. 

My immediate concerns and thoughts though are about wikleaks and Julian Assange.

If Bitter but Optimistic was lockedup up in the Ecuadorian embassy i would buy shares in tissues

Edited March 13, 2017 by Wrecker45
To swap hands

[Moonshadow 16,247]

13 hours ago, Wrecker45 said:

I went to moomba and enjoyed it. 

My immediate concerns and thoughts though are about wikleaks and Julian Assange.

If Bitter but Optimistic was lockedup up in the Ecuadorian embassy i would buy shares in tissues

You are one sick puppy with that edit Wrecker45. You fit in well on this thread!

[Biffen 12,342]

Is there anyone here from New Zealand who thinks anyone cares about their thoughts?

Like Derryn does?

We don't.

[Earl Hood 5,789]

39 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Is there anyone here from New Zealand who thinks anyone cares about their thoughts?

Like Derryn does?

We don't.

Biff I have just come back from the North Island does that count? And you are probably right. 

[Biffen 12,342]

9 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Biff I have just come back from the North Island does that count? And you are probably right. 

I don't buy their wine.Or their whine.

[picket fence 15,268]

On 3/12/2017 at 8:39 AM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Uncle Bitter has had a very bad week.

One can only hope that things improve.

Staying barely sober enough to watch the footy was the least of it.

The worst was being on the end of three professional floggings.

First the dentist got me - again.

Next was the Vet ( one of the lads had a nasty rash)

Finally, an extra special doing over by the plumber.  That appointment should have been abandoned the moment that both said plumber and his apprentice appeared sporting man buns! (true)

So much for considering oneself comfortably wealthy.

Uncle just look at it this way, what goes around comes around! It was clearly your turn! When you win Tattslotto, I'll be the first around with some celebratory "Beverages" 

Edited March 14, 2017 by picket fence

[Earl Hood 5,789]

42 minutes ago, Biffen said:

I don't buy their wine.Or their whine.

But I noticed their wine is cheap as over there anyway. Not so much here though. And they do reds, never knew that. 

[Bluey's Dad 3,419]

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/nine-network-buys-st-kildas-infamous-gatwick-hotel-20170315-guyp79.html

Apparently the purchaser of the Gat is the Nine Network, who'll likely be using it for The Block.

Possibility for Biff to somehow return to his former nest as a contestant?

I'd watch if you were on @Biffen, then I'd tell everyone who'd listen that I knew you before you were famous in an effort to milk some reflected glory.

You could use your knowledge of the Gat's darker corners to outfox the other contestants. They'll never know why their tools are always going missing. You could even help them identify the contents of the syringes they find!

The more I think about this the more I think it's a good idea. Who wouldn't watch Biff, draped in a blue singlet, tattered shorts and boots, taking a sledgehammer to a GAT toilet?

I think I might need some of @Wrecker45's tissues...

[Moonshadow 16,247]

4 hours ago, Choke said:

http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/nine-network-buys-st-kildas-infamous-gatwick-hotel-20170315-guyp79.html

Apparently the purchaser of the Gat is the Nine Network, who'll likely be using it for The Block.

Possibility for Biff to somehow return to his former nest as a contestant?

I'd watch if you were on @Biffen, then I'd tell everyone who'd listen that I knew you before you were famous in an effort to milk some reflected glory.

You could use your knowledge of the Gat's darker corners to outfox the other contestants. They'll never know why their tools are always going missing. You could even help them identify the contents of the syringes they find!

The more I think about this the more I think it's a good idea. Who wouldn't watch Biff, draped in a blue singlet, tattered shorts and boots, taking a sledgehammer to a GAT toilet?

I think I might need some of @Wrecker45's tissues...

Wreckers tissues are well and truly soiled Choke. No go zone. 

Not sure Biffen could lift a sledgehammer these days. He looks as thin and unwell as Plugger did on the news tonight. But he's a crafty competitor. Likely to pawn off others tools and steal their utes then laugh it off at the POW.

[Biffen 12,342]

The penthouse at the Gat will be renovated tastefully as my important status here would dictate.

You are all welcome to attend the clean out downstairs .

i will be moving back in as soon as the job is complete as ministers special advisor to social housing housing.

I have signed the deal with nine and the govt.

Some incriminating photos I had helped sweeten the pot .

Thank you all for your  concern as to my lodgings but I assure you all I will not need to ask Special Robert for bridge space just yet.

Though I must admit,the life of a troll is has its own rewards.

[hemingway 7,597]

23 hours ago, Biffen said:

The penthouse at the Gat will be renovated tastefully as my important status here would dictate.

You are all welcome to attend the clean out downstairs .

i will be moving back in as soon as the job is complete as ministers special advisor to social housing housing.

I have signed the deal with nine and the govt.

Some incriminating photos I had helped sweeten the pot .

Thank you all for your  concern as to my lodgings but I assure you all I will not need to ask Special Robert for bridge space just yet.

Though I must admit,the life of a troll is has its own rewards.

Thank you for the invite Biff, but it is a bit like an invitation to the Manor from your step brother Uncle Bitters.

You are both great characters, however, I prefer to keep you both as figments of my imagination.

[Biffen 12,342]

1 hour ago, hemingway said:

Thank you for the invite Biff, but it is a bit like an invitation to the Manor from your step brother Uncle Bitters.

You are both great characters, however, I prefer to keep you both as figments of my imagination.

That's fairly offensive considering you are actually deceased.

Though I admit Uncle Bitters is fundamentally uncouth and lacking in refinement .Not to mention malodorous .

[Bitter but optimistic 21,313]

11 hours ago, hemingway said:

Thank you for the invite Biff, but it is a bit like an invitation to the Manor from your step brother Uncle Bitters.

You are both great characters, however, I prefer to keep you both as figments of my imagination.

Invite to the Manor!!! FMD!! Ernie you dead bastard, you are even further down the invite list than picket. He's only brain dead.

[Redleg 37,716]

Think I will be more excited ( in a sporting sense ),  this time next week.

[Guest]

On 3/17/2017 at 8:14 PM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Invite to the Manor!!! FMD!! Ernie you dead bastard, you are even further down the invite list than picket. He's only brain dead.

Kind of sounds like the start of a joke you would tell at the pub:
A 300 pound cross dresser, a dead author and a moron went down to Romsey one day...

[special robert 438]

On 3/19/2017 at 0:38 PM, Colin B. Flaubert said:

Kind of sounds like the start of a joke you would tell at the pub:
A 300 pound cross dresser, a dead author and a moron went down to Romsey one day...

yeah good one Colin........I was trying to shoplift some expensive runners the other day in David Jones and the attendant sussed me....so I sat down for a fitting. Then I'll be buggered if she doesn't start quizzing me about me politics....something about ...."are you super nation or pro nation'.......so I said..  no, one nation and cleared off.