Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Demonland

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Commentator's goals

Featured Replies

Back in ye olde days, goals were usually kicked via a drop kick or a punt (torpedo or spiral) or even a place kick in the earlier days. Usually commentators had a focus on whether  it was a  clear goal or just made it.. Comments would refer to things like "straight through the hey diddle diddle" (middle) or the like. Was that a Harry Beitzel or Jack Dyer favourite - does someone remember who coined that one? I can't remember how they described goals that narrowly made it. 

It seems commentators these days  have a more expansive armoury to describe the way a goal has been kicked or the manner in which the player gets it home or even  how surely or accurately the ball has got between the posts. In their excitement to tell the fans a goal has been kicked, what are some of your favourites descriptors over the years and any commentators who might have given birth to or who specifically might often use the terminology?

P.S  Do most see spirals and  torps as one and the same or was their a difference - I thought there was but might be wrong.

 
 
  • Author

I guess with TV these days we get to see the live action and in radio days we filled in the picture in our minds based on commentators wonderful descriptions. I wonder if my mind would have distinguished between "He's nailed it" "He's drilled it" or" He's slotted it" or even "He's snagged it"?

“And goes BANG straight through the center...”

J Dyer

 

3KZ is football


And on the Moccapan scoreboard ...

6 hours ago, Sir Why You Little said:

“And goes BANG straight through the center...”

J Dyer

 

3KZ is football

The magic of Jack Dyer Call .......... Gets it over to Robbie Flower who comes down the ground Robbie Flower deep into the Goooals put down your glasses it is straight through the centre........ that's good direct football Melbourne much better football over to you.... Ian Major. 

Remembering the late 70's.

Edited by nosoupforme

 

crossing to Jimmy in the rooms...

Are you there Jimmy.... are you there

Yeah Harry but they locked me in the toilet ............

3 minutes ago, Diamond_Jim said:

crossing to Jimmy in the rooms...

Are you there Jimmy.... are you there

Yeah Harry but they locked me in the toilet ............

I think you mean Tommy (Lahiff).


The best commentator Melbourne moment I can remember:

I get goosebumps every time I hear "Melbourne fans, breathe it in!"

Edited by Clint Buzzkill

4 minutes ago, Clint Buzzkill said:

The best commentator Melbourne moment I can remember:

I get goosebumps every time I hear "Melbourne fans, breathe it in!"

Haven’t seen that for awhile. 
 

Awesome ? 

I used to like? 3GL....

Ump bounces the ball, big tap by Polly, Goggin charging through, Walker gets to it, great spoil by West.....

 

Goal to Melbourne

 

Bad luck cats, 2 free kicks missed.....

These had commentators pretty excited, and I'll never forget them:  

 

I still like watching Jack Watts goal from the far side against Collingwood.

it just “made my day”

smiled for weeks. I still do

Go Dees !!


A goal is a goal is a goal .....and six points no matter how it is called.

1 minute ago, tiers said:

A goal is a goal is a sausage roll.....and six points no matter how it is called.

Fixed

59 minutes ago, Demon_spurs said:

Fixed

Or a spring roll for vegetarians.

Dwayne's goal should be to shut up for five seconds.

Dwayne Russell has done for football commentary what Jeffrey Dahmer did for hitch-hiking.


We're getting so far off topic here, but Ted Bundy was the serial killer that preyed on hitchhikers, whilst Dahmer mainly used to lure men back to his home before murdering them then doing unspeakable things with their bodies.

It was also Dahmer who was alleged to have said to Lorena Bobbitt "You weren't gonna throw that away, were you?".

2 hours ago, demonstone said:

We're getting so far off topic here, but Ted Bundy was the serial killer that preyed on hitchhikers, whilst Dahmer mainly used to lure men back to his home before murdering them then doing unspeakable things with their bodies.

It was also Dahmer who was alleged to have said to Lorena Bobbitt "You weren't gonna throw that away, were you?".

haha, you are one sick puppy Demonstone

Does anyone remember Beitzel excitedly commentating a Melbourne goal, finishing it with, “....and he penetrated the perpendiculars!”      Got a bit of a rise from the box. Not sure if he ever said it again? 
 

 
  • Author
19 hours ago, Rob Mac...... said:

Does anyone remember Beitzel excitedly commentating a Melbourne goal, finishing it with, “....and he penetrated the perpendiculars!”      Got a bit of a rise from the box. Not sure if he ever said it again? 
 

What a great effort by Harry to bring the excitement to us on radio. Thx Rob Mac.

 

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • POSTGAME: Gold Coast

    The Demons put four quarters of hard contested, fast running and high pressure football to knock off the ladder leaders and early premiership contenders the Gold Suns by 20 points at the MCG on Easter Sunday.

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Like
    • 281 replies
  • PODCAST: Gold Coast

    I’ll be away for the next few weeks, so Binman will be holding the fort for our podcasts covering the Suns, Bombers and Lions matches. As a result, there will be no live podcasts during this period, and we won’t be taking calls or voicemails. Binman will still be dipping into this thread to select a few questions to answer, while also combining the long-form Stats Files podcast with the Demonland Podcast for these shows. Your questions and comments are a huge part of what makes the podcast work, so please post anything you’d like to ask or say below and we’ll do our best to give you a shout-out on the show. Please try to keep each post focused on one specific topic or player to make podcast preparation a little easier. If you have multiple topics you’d like to raise, please put them in separate posts.

    • 10 replies
  • VOTES: Gold Coast

    Dual Reigning Champion Max Gawn has an early lead in the Demonland Player of the Year Award. He leads new recruit Jack Steele, forward Jacob van Rooyen and veteran Christian Salem. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, & 1.

      • Thanks
    • 49 replies
  • GAMEDAY: Gold Coast

    It's Game Day and the Demons are back at the MCG and have a massive challenge ahead of them as they take on Premiership contender the Gold Coast Suns. What do you want to see from the Dees today?

      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 431 replies
  • PREVIEW: Gold Coast

    Melbourne’s slow starts have been a troubling theme for a while. Against the Suns, they started slowly in both of their games, they trailed by 5.7.37 to 0.1.1 at quarter time at Peoples First Stadium in Round 16. This season, the story has remained the same and if the Demons fail to shake off this issue against the unbeaten Gold Coast Suns, they will be in serious danger of capitulating once again in their Easter Sunday showdown.

      • Love
    • 10 replies
  • NON-MFC: Round 04

    Round 4 of the 2026 AFL Premiership Season is upon us and it is the last week of the early season byes. Who are you tipping this week and what are the best results for the Dees Finals chances? 😜

    • 357 replies

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.