THE ORACLE'S FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2013 ... AND BEYOND

[Demonland 70,523]

This time last year I predicted Hawthorn would win the premiership and Melbourne would take a giant step forward by making the finals and finishing in eighth place. I was wrong on both counts but that is the way of things in the life of a new age oracle. Like most people these days, we rely far too heavily on modern technology and the result is that it's so easy to make mistakes.

It wasn't until well into the 2012 AFL season that I discovered I had overset the forward drive on my reconditioned crystal ball so that all of my predictions were one year ahead of time. This came as a great relief to me on a number of counts, not the least of which was the knowledge that Stella (the name by which my crystal ball is affectionately known) is once again fully operational and I'm able to provide my fearless predictions for the future with some measure of confidence.

I was also relieved when I looked through the swirling snow encased in Stella's glass orb into 2013 and beyond that those moronic Mayans got it all wrong about the world ending on 21 December, 2012. Of course, if you knew anything about what those blokes used to smoke back in their day, you wouldn't be surprised that none of their predictions ever worked out right on the button. Not that my own track record has been all that flash lately, but at least when I make my forecasts on big ticket items like the end of the world, I make sure that my research is impeccable and my prognostications are accurate enough to ensure that people listen to me the next time I open my mouth. So much for the Mayans!

So looking into my crystal ball recently, I was somewhat taken aback to see Jared Rivers in horizontal navy and white stripes at Simmons Stadium and Ricky Petterd looking positively strange in yeller and black high-fiving a bunch of ferals after booting one through his backside from a pocket. While I'm at it, congratulations to James Frawley, Jeremy Howe and Lynden Dunn for taking their former teammates to Bay 13 to give them an insight into the mindset of the yobbos who will be following them for the remainder of their careers.

On the other hand, when I looked to the west, I was truly gobsmacked at the sight of an overblown Cale Morton (fair dinkum, he was well over 105kg) checking into a Perth Weight Watchers clinic after what surely must have been an experiment gone wrong from the chemist who coaches the Weagles.

I say it every year but it's a fact. Final eight predictions are always fraught with danger. There are always surprises with some teams unexpectedly dropping out of contention and others rising to the occasion and surprising everybody. This my top eight for 2013:-

1. Hawthorn - Clarkson and the Hawks are smarting about their lost opportunity in the 2012 grand final. They had the Swans on the ropes but some poor kicking for goal let them off the hook and Malceski and Morton (Mitch) turned out to be the unlikely heroes. I still rate Clarkson as the AFL's top coach even if he loses the plot in the coaches box and at under 9 games, and rate the Hawks a shoe in for next year's flag. Stella confirms my opinion.

2. Collingwood - the Pies have managed their list beautifully throughout the free agency/trade and draft period. They managed to trade well to get good draft picks and gained some handy replacements on the cheap through free agency. Having worked the system to perfection, they now have the added depth to make up the leeway between them and last year's grand finalists and I reckon they are going to give the flag a bit of a shake before doing what they always do best. Yes, that's play in losing grand finals.

3. Geelong - the fat lady is far from done with the Cats who utilised 2012 to bring several new faces into the game with good effect. Some critics believe they might struggle but they've still got the hunger and have recruited reasonably strongly in areas where their football department perceived they might have had some weaknesses. Geelong will remain hard to beat in 2013.

4. Fremantle - Ross Lyon managed to rejuvenate the Dockers in his first season out west. He added new steel into the team and whilst the emphasis remained on defence, his team also demonstrated some fantastic attacking capabilities when called upon to do so in the latter stages of the season.

5. Sydney - the reigning premiers didn't exactly slip under the radar in 2012 but they will come under more intense scrutiny from opposition coaches and teams determined to knock of the competition's tallest poppy. Kurt Tippett will add something to the forward division but it will be well into the season before he even appears in the colours at AFL level. I see them slipping because that's what the crystal ball's telling me.

6. West Coast - the Eagles have a classy list but I'm not satisfied that they've done enough to improve their list to the point where they can take the next step up into the top four. I worry about Wellingham and wonder what Morton and Bennell are doing on their list.

7. Carlton - they've really blown it in the past couple of years with a talented but underachieving list. Malthouse comes in with a new/old philosophy that should lift them a few notches and back into the finals but salary cap restrictions as a result of the AFL's ruling on Chris Judd's financial package, have restricted their recruiting. With Judd in his declining years and giving up the captaincy and the likes of Kreuzer and Gibbs looking decidedly shaky, this is probably the Blues last chance of reaping the dividends of their three year tanking spree (2005-7) which the AFL has curiously chosen to pretend never existed.

8. Melbourne - the Demon overhaul is now virtually complete. It's a changed list with a new attitude and every player is prepared to give his all. The squad might be young but with the massive turnover of players, a new work ethic, a high level of motivation and a reasonable draw, they should improve. Mark Neeld wants to have the hardest team to play against and while I don't think they're quite there at the moment, I think they'll be the most surprising team as well as the most unpredictable. My rough guess then is that they will get to eighth spot on the ladder.

Finally, I'm sure you all want to find out about the outcome of the AFL tanking enquiry. Well, I can't say much but looking into the swirling drifts of snow, I can just detect the outline of a single object - the scales of justice.

Make of that what you will but I can assure you all that whatever happens, it won't be the end of the world.

I'll see you all in the future!

[Deeman 1,479]

So looking into my crystal ball recently, I was somewhat taken aback to see Jared Rivers in horizontal navy and white stripes ...

Someone should tell the Riv that if he doesn't behave, he'll only get half way to Geelong and end up at Port Phillip Prison where they wear striped uniforms too!

[Gippsland Dee 367]

THE ORACLE'S FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2013 ... AND BEYOND by The Oracle

Love the whole thing!

[rjay 24,679]

THE ORACLE'S FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2013 ... AND BEYOND by The Oracle

1. Hawthorn - Clarkson and the Hawks are smarting about their lost opportunity in the 2012 grand final. They had the Swans on the ropes but some poor kicking for goal let them off the hook and Malceski and Morton (Mitch) turned out to be the unlikely heroes. I still rate Clarkson as the AFL's top coach even if he loses the plot in the coaches box and at under 9 games, and rate the Hawks a shoe in for next year's flag. Stella confirms my opinion.

2. Collingwood - the Pies have managed their list beautifully throughout the free agency/trade and draft period. They managed to trade well to get good draft picks and gained some handy replacements on the cheap through free agency. Having worked the system to perfection, they now have the added depth to make up the leeway between them and last year's grand finalists and I reckon they are going to give the flag a bit of a shake before doing what they always do best. Yes, that's play in losing grand finals.

How many times can the Hawks be smarting from lost opportunities, they can't afford to keep playing this card. For such a great coach with their list they are probably the most under performed and disappointing club in the comp.

Collingwood have done well with draft picks but will they have an immediate impact? their trading to my mind is highly overrated, Lynch is no back up ruck man nor a key forward.

[old dee 23,541]

When you go this early you really leave yourself open Oracle!

So 10/10 for courage.

But I cannot agree with

North dropping out.

Adelaide perhaps after their end to 2012

But somehow I don't see us replacing North they are still a light year ahead of the Dees.

There are lot of teams we would have to leap frog to make the eight

10th or 11th would be a great result for the Dees after 2012

[Whispering_Jack 29,339]

North had the easiest fixture of any club this year and on top of that were blessed with very few injuries. McIntosh was their only significant out for most of the second half of the season but he wasn't needed because they had Goldstein.

This year it's different - they have one of the toughest draws and start with Boomer Harvey out suspended for the first six matches. Anyone expecting them to make it through 2013 without being affected by injuries would have to be dreaming.

I think leaving North out is a good call as is the one about the world not ending in 2013 either. I'd back the big O ahead of the Mayans any day of the week.

[CBDees 3,165]

I am worried about the use of a crystal ball. Being of Celtic background, I would prefer something more tried and tested such as rune stones!

[old55 23,023]

If true then B.Scott, J.Hird, D.Hardwick and B.Sanderson will be getting nervous.

[Gippsland Dee 367]

This year it's different - they have one of the toughest draws and start with Boomer Harvey out suspended for the first six matches.

What happened with Harvey???

[Josh 1,420]

If Richmond dont make the eight, should Hardwick be getting nervous?

I think he has done a good job and I like him as a coach, but when you start throwing the word finals around before christmas the heat will come, look at Rats last year. I think I even read something about Richmond and top 4 somewhere, but that person obviously had no idea and therefore should be left out.

[old dee 23,541]

North had the easiest fixture of any club this year and on top of that were blessed with very few injuries. McIntosh was their only significant out for most of the second half of the season but he wasn't needed because they had Goldstein.

This year it's different - they have one of the toughest draws and start with Boomer Harvey out suspended for the first six matches. Anyone expecting them to make it through 2013 without being affected by injuries would have to be dreaming.

I think leaving North out is a good call as is the one about the world not ending in 2013 either. I'd back the big O ahead of the Mayans any day of the week.

You may be right WJ re North But I would still back them to win more games than the Dees.

[Demon Jack 6,786]

What happened with Harvey???

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/afl/more-news/north-melbourne-veteran-brent-harvey-to-serve-six-week-suspension-after-losing-tribunal-appeal/story-e6frf9jf-1226472158183

[Gippsland Dee 367]

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/afl/more-news/north-melbourne-veteran-brent-harvey-to-serve-six-week-suspension-after-losing-tribunal-appeal/story-e6frf9jf-1226472158183

thanks for that

[beelzebub 23,250]

8

[deejammin' 2,249]

If Richmond dont make the eight, should Hardwick be getting nervous?

I think he has done a good job and I like him as a coach, but when you start throwing the word finals around before christmas the heat will come, look at Rats last year. I think I even read something about Richmond and top 4 somewhere, but that person obviously had no idea and therefore should be left out.

There would be a lot of malcontent with Hardwick from the Richmond faithful. They have been drinking a lot of their own bathwater lately and most seem to believe they are a genuine contender (despite their abscence of a backline and forwardline), we all know how temperamental the Tigers faithful are and if the tiges are ruled out of finals contention I would suggest Hardwick runs up the race with an umbrella.

Anyway, I love the Oracles enthusiasm but I don't see us jumping all of Adelaide, North Melbourne, Richmond, Essendon, St Kilda and even Brisbane had our number last year and look to be improving. I would expect us to beat PA, Bulldogs, GC and GWS comfortably and maybe steal a couple of others, but I don't see us jumping all 6 of those teams to make the 8, here's hoping though....man would it be sweet!

[BarnDee 287]

I am worried about the use of a crystal ball. Being of Celtic background, I would prefer something more tried and tested such as rune stones!

A

AH the good old runes eh , i had forgotten about my bag of runes and book , might go dig em out right now , havent seem em for about 8 years , but i know where they will be , cool thanks for the reminder , cheers

[Biffen 12,933]

Someone should tell the Riv that if he doesn't behave, he'll only get half way to Geelong and end up at Port Phillip Prison where they wear striped uniforms too!

Him and Petterd were obviously the troublemakers in hindsight .

Glad the security staff got them out of our ground for us .

Nice of Howe and Frawley to show them out .

[CBDees 3,165]

Like the idea of Melbourne sneaking into the eight but not sure that I like Hawthorn and Collingwood being No. 1 and No. 2! My wish for 2013 is that Melbourne becomes the first team to take off a Premiership from eighth spot!

[monoccular 17,349]

What happened with Harvey???

The sniping squealing little weasel was caught for once :-)))))

[monoccular 17,349]

Like the idea of Melbourne sneaking into the eight but not sure that I like Hawthorn and Collingwood being No. 1 and No. 2! My wish for 2013 is that Melbourne becomes the first team to take off a Premiership from eighth spot!

Think positive thoughts - though that would be an anathema to quite a number of posters here.

[stueyspencer no12 73]

Some room for optimism is that we have very few in rehab compared with the numbers in Bailey's years. On the other hand we do have Mark Neeld. I predict 16th. Just look at the stats last year compared with the previous 2 and tell me why I'm wrong