Something Redleg said about someone being unco reminded me of fabulously unco players from past.. The skill level today is so good that the unco player is an endangered species. I recall a Swans player who I think was called Bolton on the wing who screwed up everything he did, so much so that if a Melbourne player got the ball we would yell ”kick it to Bolton”.

And there was a ruckman for Collingwood, Manson I think, he could hardly walk. What about that floppy wristed run that Richo had?

A few years ago I met some of the new recruits at MFC and one was blinky. I don’t know what else to call it. Each time he blinked it was just was longer than it should have been. Can’t remember his name but I thought to myself “Thank goodness he isn’t competing in some form of marshal art”.

We’ve often had guys that when they got the ball all the Demon supporters would say “@^ not him”; the guy that couldn’t kick the winning goal from 10 meters out but was a great mark or the guy that lost the ball each time they tried to bounce it.

And some were very successful players too despite their awkwardness. Eg T Viney’s kicking style wasn’t exactly poetry but there were many games I thought he was our most important player..

Who was your favorite unco? Who was the worst? Grgic – not that he was unco but more what he tried to do was wrong?

Oddly, I love watching Zac Dawson play. Not Melbourne of course, but everything he does seems to verge on Slapstick. A classic example occurred late this season when he jumped into a pack to spoil. The ball went straight up in the air. Zac made a few rapid rotations on the spot trying to find it before it came down right on his head. You can't teach comic timing like that.

Brock @ Carlton is generally pretty entertaining when he gets on the park.

Oddly, I love watching Zac Dawson play. Not Melbourne of course, but everything he does seems to verge on Slapstick. A classic example occurred late this season when he jumped into a pack to spoil. The ball went straight up in the air. Zac made a few rapid rotations on the spot trying to find it before it came down right on his head. You can't teach comic timing like that.

I remember that... I was watching that game with a mate and talking about how little I rated Zac Dawson, when he said he rated him on a par with Colin Garland (WTF?!) He's not even a Saints supporter so no bias there either... Then that happened. Oh sweet vindication.

Our own Jake Spencer is well up there on the unco scale...

Gysberts looks a bit ungainly when running too.

And for some reason every time i watch Port Adelaide i laugh at Justin Westhoff- he just doesn't look right???

Ben Holland owns this thread.

Unco players usually end up doing athletics and swimming and other crap "sports".

Unco players usually end up doing athletics and swimming and other crap "sports".

Try playing a game of footy without running. It's pretty difficult - not to mention the fact that anyone who plays one of the so 'real' sports knows that if you want to get fit, you run. Running takes balls, footballers just play with them.

Edited November 22, 201114 yr by Chook

Used to love watching Paul hopgood make a dashing run down the wing with a few bounces and then proceed to kick it out on the full...ha ha

I reckon the Joke Watts videos are hilarious. Of course I love Jack Watts, and I always knew he'd grab the star and become invincible one day (to use a Super Mario analogy), which is why I could laugh at all those comical videos of him stuffing up. In reality, his errors were just as much because of our horrendous forward structure as anything.

The other one was against the Bulldogs this year. Cale Morton made one of the most obvious look away handballs you will ever see, which was eagerly intercepted by some Bulldogs player and sent right over Cale's head for a goal. Sickening yet hilarious all at the same time.

Edited November 22, 201114 yr by Chook

I know he's young, but Jack Fitzpatrick seems a little bit unco, based on his only performance. Then again, the talls often appear this way.

Matthew Bate's kicking style looks unco.

In the eighties Melbourne had very few mid-field players that kicked accurate low passes.

Flower and Alan Johnson were pretty much it .

Many others either couldnt put it in front of a forward on the lead or would telegraph a crap kick into the air Tony Shaw style, or more accurately Adrian Battiston.

I remember Garry Lyon advocating the tumble torpedo, as at least the forwards had an even chance of getting under the ball.

I would wish someone would tell the Eisholds of the world just kick it into the air onto the fifty meter line and let Darren Bennett take care of the rest.

Fast off the mark never too far out, he was crucified when many of our midfielders "looked" for him.

Reports say that Neeld is getting close-in players to kick it forward, gaining ground rather than looking for a second option.

I wonder if Gaz has something to do with it?

Not an unco player, but Sylvia's (?) unco run through the centre this year (west coast away?) where he tripped himself up was good for a laugh (not at the time though).

Also which freo player was it that made a motza in the goal square this year, was it Pav? Had heaps of space running into goal and tripped over, the ball spilled out and rolled over for a behind. GOLD.

My mum is essendon and we have a family joke about gumby gumbleton, makes her angry. I can recall thinking cloke was a dud especially kicking for goal and he turned out all right. What about the north bloke who cant kick a goal, and the jetta from sydney who kicked 19 points was it?

Josh Kennedy's run up for a set shot is not so much "unco", but it is a laugh

Amazed I'm the first to mention Mr Bartram.

Josh Kennedy's run up for a set shot is not so much "unco", but it is a laugh

So is Lynden Dunn's

I know he's young, but Jack Fitzpatrick seems a little bit unco, based on his only performance. Then again, the talls often appear this way.

I'm expecting big things from this guy in this category after seeing him fall over himself hilariously for no apparent reason in a practice match at Visy Park last year.

Hope he becomes a champ but if he proves to be a massive clutz instead then at least I can get a chuckle out of it.

Scott 'The Prince of Pockets' Chisholm - while not unco exactly, would make great skillful dashes out of the back pocket then hellicopter pass it out on the full.

AND I loved it.....

Andrew Dunkley was one of the premier full backs....but was basically banned from kicking the ball...

I can think of no more unco player I have seen than Lewis Roberts-Thompson. Manages to do some amazing things on occasion, but manages to amaze with his unco-ness even more often. I go to Swans games in Sydney with a mate, and usually spend half the time laughing at the balls ups from LRT.

I remember that... I was watching that game with a mate and talking about how little I rated Zac Dawson, when he said he rated him on a par with Colin Garland (WTF?!) He's not even a Saints supporter so no bias there either... Then that happened. Oh sweet vindication.

Many do rate Dawson. Clearly Lyon did. In fact if I'm not mistaken I swear I heard today that he is off to Fremantle.

Hopefully someone will confirm that.

He does look awkward at times, but he gets the job done. Much like Al Nicholson did. There's another.

Spider Burton, Peter Street and any other 9ft unco. Hopefully Maximum Gawn turns out more like Sandilands than either of those two.