5 minutes ago, Ghostwriter said:

You’re sch!ttting yourself, aren’t you? You even stuttered in your second sentence 🤭

I’ll run rings around you lot.

35 minutes ago, Deeoldfart said:

It must have hurt Louie so much to pen those lines.

Lou never penned a line in his life, but relied on a ghostwriter* throughout his newspaper career (most notably Tom Prior and later on Greg Baum).  That particular headline would have been written by a sub editor.

* nb - NOT the @Ghostwriter we Demonlanders rely upon.  

3 hours ago, Roost it far said:

My report will set a new standard in reporting. In fact my report’s reporting will set the standard for all future reports. 

Report the repartee re port and cheese platters. What you reap ought to satiate our lust for decent rapport with a rep or… ok, I’ll leave now 

3 hours ago, La Dee-vina Comedia said:

Should someone do a welfare check on Picket Fence? I'm worried a snake finally got him.

I’m worried for the snake.

Big thanks to The analyser great report, Return to Glory split personality reports and all posters for their humour and “special” comments. Interesting reading today, strange week, we lose Shane McAdam on Monday who from all reports was working his way back into round 1 contention, a number of informed people mention Jack Henderson on Tuesday who played for the Eagles on Sunday the press confirm that Henderson is coming to the Dees and today it is confirmed by MFC that Jack Henderson is now a Dee. Yet were criticised for not announcing it earlier sheeet the wheels move quick on Demonland.👍😁

4 hours ago, La Dee-vina Comedia said:

Should someone do a welfare check on Picket Fence? I'm worried a snake finally got him.

Nar mate, I'm fine, at beautiful Apollo Bay trying to crank a few Salmon! Away for another 5 weeks but rest assured reading all training reports with interest, back to normal reporting at Snake Central after round 2!!😎🪱

Will there be a training session on a Saturday? I have Fridays off but am too busy Fridays but Saturdays I'm free. Cheers 

3 hours ago, Return to Glory said:

I asked Chat GPT (as well as requesting a positive spin): The Melbourne Demons hit the track at Casey Fields today for an intense and focused training session, giving fans a glimpse of their preparations for the 2025 AFL season. The team worked through a variety of drills, honing their skills, refining strategies, and pushing their fitness levels to ensure they’re in top shape for the year ahead.

A standout moment was the inclusion of new recruit Jack Henderson, who seamlessly integrated into the squad. His energy and determination were on full display, and he’s already showing great promise as a valuable addition to the team.

While Shane McAdam will unfortunately miss the season due to injury, the team remains united and determined, with players stepping up to fill the void and drive the club forward. The Demons are rallying together, showcasing their depth and resilience as they prepare for a strong campaign.

The club has shared a training gallery from today's session, allowing fans to relive the action and see their favorite players in action. With the season fast approaching, the energy around the club is electric, and excitement is building for what promises to be an exciting year for the red and blue!

Stay tuned for more updates and get ready to back the Dees in 2025! 🔴🔵

Only a Melbourne supporter would put into the prompt what you put in to get that response.

18 minutes ago, picket fence said:

Nar mate, I'm fine, at beautiful Apollo Bay trying to crank a few Salmon! Away for another 5 weeks but rest assured reading all training reports with interest, back to normal reporting at Snake Central after round 2!!😎🪱

5 WEEKS??

Picket, we need you. What if Jeffo debuts round 1??

8 hours ago, The analyser said:

Training  was at Casey today. It consisted of a match simulation for one half  and then a free choice activity time. Activities included kicking for goal,  aerial , contest work etc. I noticed the following players not in match simulation Jack Viney  running laps and looks fine for round one .

I think Kolt looks like he’s improving but many weeks still away. It was good to see Caleb Windsor. He ran laps. Difficult to see how close or if he will make round one.

In the probable team  I noticed the following players – Steven May,  JvR, Christian Salem, Trac, Jake Lever, Disco Turner, Max Gawn, Clayton Oliver, Ed Langdon, Jake Bowey, Harvey Langford, Blake Howes, Trent Rivers, Bayley Fritsch, Tom Sparrow, Harry Petty and Kade Chandler.

Then there seems to be a contest for the three wing spots out of these four players – Jack Billings, Harry Sharp, Xavier Lindsay and Woey. They constantly changed teams and I think one may be unlucky unless there’s another injury and the unlucky one will be the sub.

The defenders( as you can see from above ) seem set and with the seventh defender they are possibly waiting to see if Windsor will make it or not. Also the seventh forward is difficult to know at the moment and whether they decide to go tall or  short. In the match simulation both Jeffo and AJ played in the possible team only. I did notice Gawn at times was playing up forward so whether they decide to go for two ruckman I’m not sure. Bailey Laurie also did okay for the possibles and perhaps could be sub or unfortunately may just miss.

So overall it was a lighter Wednesday training than normal with just 1/2 a match simulation and the free choice activities and I guess they’re gearing up for the game on Saturday. It was nice to see Trac in full training even though he wore the hat as did a few others.

I was impressed by the speed of Langdon and Oliver also got heaps of the ball. Tom Campbell certainly keeping Gawny  on his toes, which is great.

So 17 spots are done 4 are maybes and 2 injured while 1 has just arrived. Have I missed anybody?

So ATM the team could be:

B: Lever, May, Bowey
HB: Salem, Petty, Howes
C: Sharp*, Rivers, Sparrow
HF: Petracca, van Rooyen, Langford
F: Fritsch, Turner, Chandler
FOLL: Gawn, Oliver, Langdon
IC: Lindsay*, Billings*, Woewodin*, C.Windsor#, Viney#, Henderson^

*= Possibles
#= Injured
^= Don't know

My predicted teams are:-

MELBOURNE

B: Lever, May, Bowey
HB: Salem, Petty, Howes
C: Sharp, Rivers, Sparrow
HF: Petracca, van Rooyen, Langford
F: Fritsch, Turner, Chandler
FOLL: Gawn, Oliver, Langdon
IC: Lindsay, Billings, C.Windsor, Viney
SUB: Woewodin

Wait to see how Henderson goes against Norf before I make up my mind about him.

CASEY DEMONS

B: Hore, Adams, Bonner
HB: Sestan, McDonald, Moniz-Wakefield
C: Henderson, Laurie, Brown
HF: Spargo, Johnson, Melksham
F: Mentha, Jefferson, Fullerton
FOLL: Campbell, Culley, Hardie
IC: Verrall, Smith, George, Baldi, Yze

Henderson is a shiny new toy. But is he actually going to walk straight into a new club and play in a practice match within 2 days of joining? Plus he just played a practice match against Richmond 2 days ago. 

Surely there needs to be some sort of cohesion with other players on the list? He didn't even train with us today.

58 minutes ago, WERRIDEE said:

So 17 spots are done 4 are maybes and 2 injured while 1 has just arrived. Have I missed anybody?

So ATM the team could be:

B: Lever, May, Bowey
HB: Salem, Petty, Howes
C: Sharp*, Rivers, Sparrow
HF: Petracca, van Rooyen, Langford
F: Fritsch, Turner, Chandler
FOLL: Gawn, Oliver, Langdon
IC: Lindsay*, Billings*, Woewodin*, C.Windsor#, Viney#, Henderson^

*= Possibles
#= Injured
^= Don't know

My predicted teams are:-

MELBOURNE

B: Lever, May, Bowey
HB: Salem, Petty, Howes
C: Sharp, Rivers, Sparrow
HF: Petracca, van Rooyen, Langford
F: Fritsch, Turner, Chandler
FOLL: Gawn, Oliver, Langdon
IC: Lindsay, Billings, C.Windsor, Viney
SUB: Woewodin

Wait to see how Henderson goes against Norf before I make up my mind about him.

CASEY DEMONS

B: Hore, Adams, Bonner
HB: Sestan, McDonald, Moniz-Wakefield
C: Henderson, Laurie, Brown
HF: Spargo, Johnson, Melksham
F: Mentha, Jefferson, Fullerton
FOLL: Campbell, Culley, Hardie
IC: Verrall, Smith, George, Baldi, Yze

Tmac will play instead of Howes 

22 minutes ago, BAMF said:

Henderson is a shiny new toy. But is he actually going to walk straight into a new club and play in a practice match within 2 days of joining? Plus he just played a practice match against Richmond 2 days ago. 

Surely there needs to be some sort of cohesion with other players on the list? He didn't even train with us today.

Yeah he probably won't play due to what you mentioned will just have to wait for the Freo game.

19 minutes ago, Oxdee said:

Tmac will play instead of Howes 

4 key position players in the side don't think so. Howes is a certainty to play.

24 minutes ago, BAMF said:

Plus he (Henderson) just played a practice match against Richmond 2 days ago. 

Could it be a first having a player represent two different clubs in the space of one week in a pre season? Screw form, let’s go for the record books!!

9 hours ago, GS_1905 said:

Also lack of live reporting.. i mean its 2025, why don't we have multiple live video phone feeds from people who are located at key vantage points around the ground?

And why are the reports not written in haiku?! 😂

10 hours ago, BAMF said:

Henderson is a shiny new toy. But is he actually going to walk straight into a new club and play in a practice match within 2 days of joining? Plus he just played a practice match against Richmond 2 days ago. 

Surely there needs to be some sort of cohesion with other players on the list? He didn't even train with us today.

Can he even play on Saturday, given that he's already played once in the pre season Match Simulation Round (do they have rules for this)?

13 hours ago, picket fence said:

 I'm fine, at beautiful Apollo Bay trying to crank a few Salmon!  

Finding any?

12 hours ago, DubDee said:

5 WEEKS??

Picket, we need you. What if Jeffo debuts round 1??

In the Hun Dees report today guess the ONLY PLAYER who wasn't rated?? Pathetic reporting from this newspaper!🤮

13 hours ago, DubDee said:

5 WEEKS??

Picket, we need you. What if Jeffo debuts round 1??

Based on what Ive been reading on training reports that sounds v unlikely 

Hardly setting the world on fire in Match sims - still a very long way off it seems 

12 hours ago, BAMF said:

Henderson is a shiny new toy. But is he actually going to walk straight into a new club and play in a practice match within 2 days of joining? Plus he just played a practice match against Richmond 2 days ago. 

Surely there needs to be some sort of cohesion with other players on the list? He didn't even train with us today.

I remember Jay Lockhart making his debut two weeks after being signed as an SSP. He only had a pre-season with Casey if I can recall.

Anything is possible.

Edited February 20Feb 20 by Demon Jack

12 hours ago, BAMF said:

Henderson is a shiny new toy. But is he actually going to walk straight into a new club and play in a practice match within 2 days of joining? Plus he just played a practice match against Richmond 2 days ago. 

Surely there needs to be some sort of cohesion with other players on the list? He didn't even train with us today.

Our Rd 1 small forward tore his Achilles so there is an opening…

Melksham has been in rehab, as has Chandler.

And there seems to be a desire to keep Pickett in the middle.

I think Henderson is a huge chance for GWS.

16 minutes ago, rpfc said:

Our Rd 1 small forward tore his Achilles so there is an opening…

Melksham has been in rehab, as has Chandler.

And there seems to be a desire to keep Pickett in the middle.

I think Henderson is a huge chance for GWS.

Chandler's fine. He'll play. 

13 hours ago, Oxdee said:

Tmac will play instead of Howes 

Agreed on this. 

41 minutes ago, rpfc said:

Our Rd 1 small forward tore his Achilles so there is an opening…

Melksham has been in rehab, as has Chandler.

And there seems to be a desire to keep Pickett in the middle.

I think Henderson is a huge chance for GWS.

Plus the compounding issue of Pickett missing the first three.