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Posted
16 hours ago, Mazer Rackham said:

To help manage your nerves and anxiety on the day, I have compiled a timetable of activities for you to follow.

 

Fri 24 Sep
11pm
Go to bed, sleep serenely in knowledge that demons are sure things and cannot lose.

Sat 25 sep
6am
Wake up in cold sweat knowing deep in soul that we will suffer either a drubbing or a close heartbreaking loss.

6:00 - 6:10
Lie in bed staring at ceiling trying to calm self down.

6:11
Put on radio. Listen to experts pronouncing Doggies as sure things.

6:15 - 6:30
Lie in bed staring at ceiling trying to calm self down.

6:35
Go to kitchen, make soothing coffee.

6:36
While waiting, check demonland for words of solace.

7:15
Cheer up reading words of encouragement. Go back to kitchen. Discover cold coffee. Put in microwave.

7:16
Check demonland. Read single post that puts chills of fear into soul.

7:20
Shower to warm up.

7:25
Continue shower to contemplate horror of after-match celebrations of Doggies.

7:45
Run out of hot water. Get out and get dressed. Suffer crippling paralysis at thought of Bailey Smith winning the Norm Smith.

8:05
Finish getting dressed.

8:06
Go to kitchen, get cold coffee out of microwave. Pour into sink, start again.

8:07
Check mail. Nothing.

8:08
Check messages on phone. Note some good luck messages, become utterly psychically eradicated by one mocking taunt from close friend.

8:10
Go to bathroom. Wet towel is evidence of already having showered. Leave bathroom.

8:15
Go for walk to calm nerves.

8:20
A fat lot of good that did. Go back home.

8:25
Meditate to sooth jangled nerves.

8:26
Stupid meditation. Remember coffee. Put in microwave.

8:27
Go outside.

8:28
Go back inside.

8:29
Go outside.

8:30
Wave to Collingwood supporting neighbour. Return wave. Take no comfort from encouraging words from neighbour. Suffer wave of nausea imagining neighbour's post-match taunts.

8:31
Go back inside.

8:32
Check demonland.

9:00
Watch television. It's all crap.

9:15
Check demonland.

10:45
Drag self out of depression. Get cold coffee from microwave. Throw out. Put on kettle for new coffee.

10:50
Check demonland.

11:00
Shake self out of torpor and anxiety. Go outside to do some gardening.

11:05
Spray weedkiller on plants. Get hose and wash off. Get water everywhere. Pull up weeds by design, plants by accident. Dump weeds, plants, weedkiller, fertlizer, gloves, in bin. Go inside and change clothes.

11:20
Check demonland.

11:40
Go outside.

11:41
Go back inside.

11:42
Go on walking inspection of house interior.

11:43
Inspection complete. Check demonland. Feel nagging anxiety increase.

12:05
Check phone. Fail to cheer up over cheering messages, hit maximum anxiety over jeering messages.

12:10
Check demonland.

12:40
Go outside.

12:41
Go back inside.

12:42
Watch  television. It's all crap.

13:00
Go for walk to calm nerves.

13:05
A fat lot of good that did. Go back home.

13:10
Meditate to sooth jangled nerves.

13:11
Stupid meditation. Remember cold coffee. Put in microwave.

13:12
Make lunch in spite of no appetite.

13:30
Sit down for lunch.

13:40
Throw uneaten lunch in bin. Put kettle on for coffee.

13:45
Check Bunnings web site. Order seeds, potting mix, gardening gloves and stanley knife.

14:00
Check demonland.

14:30
Go outside.

14:31
Go back inside.

14:32
Meditate to sooth jangled nerves.

14:33
Stupid meditation. Re-boil kettle.

14:44
Search for old footy to have a kick to settle nerves.

14:55
Find footy. Discover laces old and broken. Search for pump.

15:10
Find pump. Pump up footy. Bladder bulges out where laces disintegrated. Throw footy in bin.

15:15
Check demonland.

15:45
Re-boil kettle.

15:46
Remember the sun is over the yardarm. Check supply of spirits. Whiskey!

15:47
Fret that whiskey supply is low. Check web site for nearest Dan's or BWS.

15:55
Drive to bottle shop. Pick up whiskey.

16:25
Re-boil kettle.

16:30
Get message from Bunnings that order is ready for collection.

16:32
Get in car, drive to Bunnings, pick up order. Note number of cars with Doggies scarves. Anxiety level to 90%.

17:15
Re-boil kettle. Turn on tv for pre-match warmup shows. They're all crap.

18:00
Re-boil kettle, make coffee. Add whiskey. Ahhhhh.

18:10
Discover nerves are at 100% fever pitch despite whiskey. Go outside.

18:11
Go back inside.

18:12
Meditate to sooth jangled nerves.

18:13
Stupid meditation. Check demonland.

18:45
Nearly game time. Panic attack. Boil kettle for coffee. Take shot of whiskey straight while waiting.

18:50
Make coffee. Trembling hands spill it everywhere. Re-boil kettle. Take shot of whiskey straight while waiting.

19:00
Watch players warm up. Sooth jangled nerves by cheering demons and booing dogs. Desperately try to ascertain clues to performance by how the players jog sideways, roll the ball on the ground, etc. Anxiety increase to 150%.

19:10
Anthem and other frippery. Rage at universe for making you wait.

19:15
Game on! Watch as demons tear the dogs a new one. Race around living room with each goal as Demons pile on a record score. Catharsis, and all emotion is replaced by a joyful high.

10:00
Rejoice as the demons hoist the cup. Laugh, cry, text friends, take straight shot of whiskey. Take another straight shot of whiskey.

10:30
Check demonland.

Sunday 26 sep
03:00
Go to bed. Fail to sleep.

Genius, Mazer

  • Like 2

Posted
12 hours ago, Jaded said:

I help my dad every few weeks with errands and other essentials as my mum doesn’t drive and he’s had multiple blood transfusions recently so is prone to dizziness

Jaded, this falls so deeply into the carer category, I would suggest you’re over-specifying the need. I’m performing the same function for my 96 year-old mother. You have nothing to explain.  

  • Like 3

Posted
12 hours ago, Demon trucker said:

the suicide rate is going through the roof

The objective truth (the seeming tautology now needs stating) is there have been no more suicides, in fact slightly less. Misinformation and lies help nobody, we should be learning that by now. 

  • Thanks 6
Posted
39 minutes ago, Webber said:

Jaded, this falls so deeply into the carer category, I would suggest you’re over-specifying the need. I’m performing the same function for my 96 year-old mother. You have nothing to explain.  

Good genes @Webber.

Posted
13 hours ago, Jaded said:

I don’t disagree with you, but you also don’t know everyone’s circumstances. 
I help my dad every few weeks with errands and other essentials as my mum doesn’t drive and he’s had multiple blood transfusions recently so is prone to dizziness. I’m also an only child. 
We’ve both had one dose. I get tested every time before I go see him so I know I’m negative. 
I will be bringing him and my mum over to my place to watch the grand final as the game will finish after curfew and we have a spare room for them to stay. We will all get tested beforehand.
I feel 0 guilt for it. I have done the right thing for 18 months. But I’ll be damned if I miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity to watch the grand final with my dad. This might never come around again in his lifetime. Or mine even. 
If that upsets you, I’m really sorry and I understand. The last 2 years have been awful and hard and debilitating and downright draining. Melbourne has given us the one piece of hope and happiness to hold onto this year and I don’t want to waste it, and frankly I can’t blame anyone else who feels the same. 
We are human. We can only take so much before our tank runs dry. Mine has well and truly run dry. 

I have personal circumstances I won't go into but I will be watching with my parents house as well and bringing my daughter. I have both legal advice and advice from local police that what I am planning to do is permitted under the circumstances.

Like yourself the curfew means everybody sleeps in the same house.

  • Like 5

Posted
16 hours ago, Jaded said:

I don’t disagree with you, but you also don’t know everyone’s circumstances. 
I help my dad every few weeks with errands and other essentials as my mum doesn’t drive and he’s had multiple blood transfusions recently so is prone to dizziness. I’m also an only child. 
We’ve both had one dose. I get tested every time before I go see him so I know I’m negative. 
I will be bringing him and my mum over to my place to watch the grand final as the game will finish after curfew and we have a spare room for them to stay. We will all get tested beforehand.
I feel 0 guilt for it. I have done the right thing for 18 months. But I’ll be damned if I miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity to watch the grand final with my dad. This might never come around again in his lifetime. Or mine even. 
If that upsets you, I’m really sorry and I understand. The last 2 years have been awful and hard and debilitating and downright draining. Melbourne has given us the one piece of hope and happiness to hold onto this year and I don’t want to waste it, and frankly I can’t blame anyone else who feels the same. 
We are human. We can only take so much before our tank runs dry. Mine has well and truly run dry. 

Hi Jaded. Always love reading your posts here. This post isn’t going to win me many friends, but here goes.

I didn’t want to get into the specifics of everyone’s situation for one very simple reason - everyone has a reason they think is the exception. That has been proven time and time again over the last few months. Story after story of people who thought they’d do just ‘one thing’ and it ended up causing significant harm.

My brother (proud Dees supporter) died last year, he was 50, died of cancer that killed him in 5 months. I never got to see him from diagnosis to death, to support his 9 and 11 year old, and his wife - because of lockdowns and restrictions. My dad was unable to visit him either, for the same reasons. Dad won’t see me on grand final day, even though he is the reason I love this club. He didn’t see me on Father’s Day either, when we cried on the phone together about how hard the day was for him and Mum. It’s incredibly difficult, but it’s also the right thing to do for him, and our community, for us to stay apart.

I don’t tell you this story to garner sympathy. I tell you it because I remember the sacrifices we’ve all been through, and I feel very strongly that we shouldn’t throw them away now because it’s hard. 

I particularly feel for young people who had to sacrifice so much for 18 months, are now the last to get vaccinated, and are getting very ill at a despairing rate because of Delta. Just because we all want this to be over, doesn’t mean it is.

I hope the Demons play well, and I hope you have a great day. I hope we win for your dad, and mine, and all the parents we’ve cursed over our lifetimes for making us love this club.

I just ask that everyone thinks about their community, and the effort we’ve all put in to get here, and make good decisions with those factors in mind. I think we owe that to each other, as unpopular as it is.

  • Love 4
Posted
4 minutes ago, The heart beats true said:

Hi Jaded. Always love reading your posts here. This post isn’t going to win me many friends, but here goes.

I didn’t want to get into the specifics of everyone’s situation for one very simple reason - everyone has a reason they think is the exception. That has been proven time and time again over the last few months. Story after story of people who thought they’d do just ‘one thing’ and it ended up causing significant harm.

My brother (proud Dees supporter) died last year, he was 50, died of cancer that killed him in 5 months. I never got to see him from diagnosis to death, to support his 9 and 11 year old, and his wife - because of lockdowns and restrictions. My dad was unable to visit him either, for the same reasons. Dad won’t see me on grand final day, even though he is the reason I love this club. He didn’t see me on Father’s Day either, when we cried on the phone together about how hard the day was for him and Mum. It’s incredibly difficult, but it’s also the right thing to do for him, and our community, for us to stay apart.

I don’t tell you this story to garner sympathy. I tell you it because I remember the sacrifices we’ve all been through, and I feel very strongly that we shouldn’t throw them away now because it’s hard. 

I particularly feel for young people who had to sacrifice so much for 18 months, are now the last to get vaccinated, and are getting very ill at a despairing rate because of Delta. Just because we all want this to be over, doesn’t mean it is.

I hope the Demons play well, and I hope you have a great day. I hope we win for your dad, and mine, and all the parents we’ve cursed over our lifetimes for making us love this club.

I just ask that everyone thinks about their community, and the effort we’ve all put in to get here, and make good decisions with those factors in mind. I think we owe that to each other, as unpopular as it is.

I am really sorry to hear that, it sounds like a truly awful situation. Carer and compassion exemptions exist for this exact reason. While I know you feel it may be the wrong thing to do, our emotional and mental well being is also very important. I would absolutely not begrudge you or anyone else, even if they did spread Covid accidently, if they went to see their family in those circumstances. 

I wish you and your family all the best, and I hope as you say we all get to experience the joy of watching Melbourne win a flag, whether it be with or without them nearby. 

  • Like 4
Posted
20 hours ago, KLV said:

Instead I think we’ll get a big fat lecture and threats next week about not getting together for the GF.

 

You can take that to the bank KLV and they are dreaming if they think anyone will listen to them

  • Like 2

Posted

When I was in a relationship, a lovemaking session would definitely ease the tension the night before. 
Nowadays I might treat myself to a massage on Friday (if any is open on a public holiday.)

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Posted
10 hours ago, TheWiz said:

“which way are they going?”, “oh why did they do that?”, “my father says he’s texting you - why haven’t you responded?”, “oh good it’s the ad break, you can talk to me now”, “easy on the red wines, I don’t want you snoring”, “my grandmother wants to know how you’re feeling”, “oh well there is always next year” and my favourite “see, I’m a good footy commentator aren’t I?” to which my response is always… “yep, better than BT!”

I love my wife but I need to watch this somewhere else.

You are a saint Wiz 🤣

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Posted

In the event that the good thing happens (I am too afraid to type), what will you be drinking post game to celebrate?

I need to buy a bottle champagne in the build up. 

Posted
2 minutes ago, roy11 said:

In the event that the good thing happens (I am too afraid to type), what will you be drinking post game to celebrate?

I need to buy a bottle champagne in the build up. 

I think I'll get a bottle of Macallan and I've also got a bottle of Blue label Johnnie Walker to get stuck into

Posted

I have organised a shift swap vwith one of the girls from work so i have GF day off. They all know how much i love my Dees and it was never going to be a problem for me to find someone to pick up my shift on the 25th. Im also an aged care nurse @Goffy so i know whats up.

To anyone who will be watching the game by yourself, i will be happy to share my phone number or skype/Messenger during the game so you have another fanatic to share the ride. PM me if you want smeone to talk to on the day. My name is Richard and i [censored] love the Dees.

Be warned though, i am LOUD and passionate and will probably be tanked before the game so i can handle the nerves.

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Posted

I will struggle to be conscious by the time the match starts. I’ll need the mrs to make sure my airways aren’t blocked when I face plant at some point. Night matches might look pretty, but they’re [censored] for your nerves!

I’ll be crying at the end regardless of the result I think 😳

  • Like 4

Posted
12 minutes ago, ding said:

I have organised a shift swap vwith one of the girls from work so i have GF day off. They all know how much i love my Dees and it was never going to be a problem for me to find someone to pick up my shift on the 25th. Im also an aged care nurse @Goffy so i know whats up.

To anyone who will be watching the game by yourself, i will be happy to share my phone number or skype/Messenger during the game so you have another fanatic to share the ride. PM me if you want smeone to talk to on the day. My name is Richard and i [censored] love the Dees.

Be warned though, i am LOUD and passionate and will probably be tanked before the game so i can handle the nerves.

Can feel for you. I had to work after the grand final in 2000. Worst night of my life

  • Thanks 1
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Posted

Well I am going to try to exist for the day. I think that will be hard enough.

Posted
1 hour ago, roy11 said:

In the event that the good thing happens (I am too afraid to type), what will you be drinking post game to celebrate?

I need to buy a bottle champagne in the build up. 

I have a $150 bottle of sparkling. I got it at work a long time ago. It was an “award” for achieving budget. I hated that job with a passion and it nearly destroyed my soul (insane hours and horrible bully management).

I kept that bottle all these years (7), and vowed to myself that I’ll only drink it when I have something really meaningful to celebrate…. It was meant to be my wedding but I left it at home 🤦‍♀️😂
It’s been chilling in the bar fridge for the last month with a note that says “if you drink this before Melbourne wins a flag you’re dead” 

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Jaded said:

I have a $150 bottle of sparkling. I got it at work a long time ago. It was an “award” for achieving budget. I hated that job with a passion and it nearly destroyed my soul (insane hours and horrible bully management).

I kept that bottle all these years (7), and vowed to myself that I’ll only drink it when I have something really meaningful to celebrate…. It was meant to be my wedding but I left it at home 🤦‍♀️😂
It’s been chilling in the bar fridge for the last month with a note that says “if you drink this before Melbourne wins a flag you’re dead” 

THAT 👆is the difference between a threat and a promise!

  • Like 1
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Posted

Getting up early going for a run, maybe a nice lunch by the river and then be sitting in the 2nd row of optus oval. 

 

 

(Aslong as Adelaide has no cases in the next week)

  • Like 3

Posted

Grand Final day is Christmas for me even though the Demons generally aren't playing. I usually love chucking on some classic Grand Finals with music on while having a drink and a BBQ/spit going so I'll probably do the same to kill time during the day in between whatever the kids want me to do (generally go to the park for a kick or play the PS4 with them).

  • Like 2
Posted

I tell you one thing I will do and that's break the curfew. [censored] DAN ANDREWS! WHO IS WITH ME!

  • Like 1
Posted

I shall definitely watch the match and probably go to Dan Andrews house (if we win) and paint it Red and Blue so that he can maybe absorb a little common sense, instead of being a Fascist who is ruining children’s education, destroying small business and stopping us from attending the match!

  • Like 2
Posted

I’m high risk, pneumonia nearly killed me 9 years ago, if I get covid I’m cactus. A bad cold would probably do me in these days. 
My brother wants to come and watch it, but I used the above as an excuse to say no. I’d rather watch it alone, I’m going to be a nervous wreck, I don’t want to ruin his day by blaming him for every goal against by not following my idiotic superstitions. 
In a perfect world I’d be with my uncle and brother at the G. But it ain’t perfect so I’ll just enjoy what I can do. 
 

Of course if we lose, I invite anyone with covid to come and sneeze in my mouth. 

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