POSTGAME: Rd 20 vs Richmond

[Watson11 2,240]

2 minutes ago, At the break of Gawn said:

Just watching the replay after going to the game, and had anyone else noticed Trac’s been getting into little spats with the opposition a lot lately? Happened with Collingwood, Brisbane and now Richmond. Not sure if it’s sledging related, but as long as it doesn’t impact his game I suppose.

According to Jonesy on the commentary the opposition players are enjoying having a dig at him about his cooking!  It gets him fired up.  Hope they keep doing it. 

[dl4e 5,851]

Speaking of whining tiger supporters what about baltas goal in the last. Didn't he touch the behind post when he had the ball in his hands a moment before he kicked the goal. I am not 100% sure but is that  out of bounds.

[layzie 33,722]

2 hours ago, BDA said:

They're complete nuffies. 

I'd just give them one of these.

 

[demosaw 1,001]

6 minutes ago, dl4e said:

Speaking of whining tiger supporters what about baltas goal in the last. Didn't he touch the behind post when he had the ball in his hands a moment before he kicked the goal. I am not 100% sure but is that  out of bounds.

Nah the ball has to touch the post. Was a pretty good goal actually, we just couldn’t kill it or smother the kick.

[demosaw 1,001]

11 minutes ago, Watson11 said:

According to Jonesy on the commentary the opposition players are enjoying having a dig at him about his cooking!  It gets him fired up.  Hope they keep doing it. 

Trac sometimes does the ‘stirring the pot’ goal celebration so mustn’t worry him too much.

[demosaw 1,001]

At 3 quarter time Tiges came off the ground looking bushed and our players looked fresh and were smiling and laughing. Told my wife we looked on and would finish all over them. Thanks @binman, I want to believe…

[Peter Hennig 15]

What an amazing game from fumbly first half to fierce attacking connected footy in the second half 

max, harry, JVR, milky geez what a team and coaching performance! 
looking forward to the podcast on this one 

[rpfc 28,220]

Ok so now that we have had our revelry - I have a prepared statement from the Tall Forwards Union (membership card number #2311):

To whom it may concern,

While we applaud the 6 goals scored by the Harry Petty of the Melbourne Football Club, we would like to remind fans that tall forwards should not be measured only by goals kicked and contested marks inside 50. Mr Petty will have a good game next week when he gets to the spots he got today, when he brings the ball to ground, when he creates space for others, and continues to do selfless running and presenting for his teammates. He will have a good game even if he doesn’t kick 6 straight, including an uncomplicated dead on set shot, and a pearler on his left over Grimes’ head! A whinge? Stay on him then?! Haha. Stay on him!

(clears throat) As I was writing; it is not sustainable to expect this every week and please enjoy the little things that forwards do that make your lives easier and better. 

End Statement.

[rpfc 28,220]

2 minutes ago, rpfc said:

Ok so now that we have had our revelry - I have a prepared statement from the Tall Forwards Union (membership card number #2311):

To whom it may concern,

While we applaud the 6 goals scored by the Harry Petty of the Melbourne Football Club, we would like to remind fans that tall forwards should not be measured only by goals kicked and contested marks inside 50. Mr Petty will have a good game next week when he gets to the spots he got today, when he brings the ball to ground, when he creates space for others, and continues to do selfless running and presenting for his teammates. He will have a good game even if he doesn’t kick 6 straight, including an uncomplicated dead on set shot, and a pearler on his left over Grimes’ head! A whinge? Stay on him then?! Haha. Stay on him!

(clears throat) As I was writing; it is not sustainable to expect this every week and please enjoy the little things that forwards do that make your lives easier and better. 

End Statement.

Thanks for that. 

Glad the union clarified for people.

[Demonstone 22,181]

Nice of you to bring a touch of Pett symmetry to the discussion, @rpfc.

[Dr. Gonzo 24,121]

2 hours ago, Demons11 said:

Great win but the Tigers supporters are ferals 

Saw one getting dragged out of AFL members by two cops, another screaming at the umps during the whole last quarter and his kid begging him to shut up - like I said earlier it was glorious ❤️💙

Edited July 30, 2023 by Dr. Gonzo

[layzie 33,722]

Just now, Dr. Gonzo said:

Saw one getting dragged out of AFL members by two cops, another screaming at the umps during the last quarter and his kid begging him to shut up - like I said earlier it was glorious ❤️💙

You're going home in the back.......

[layzie 33,722]

What a day, what a fightback. Richmond are no slouches and in good form but we showed them who is boss. Time for the old dusty trail. Have a good week Landers!

[Dr. Gonzo 24,121]

1 hour ago, low flying Robbo said:

I had 2 nuffies sitting in front of me who were saying Gawn was the biggest flopper in the game. Showed that they have absolutely no idea what they are talking about...

And they've been watching Jack Riewoldt for 15 years!

[Left Foot Snap 2,383]

8 minutes ago, layzie said:

You're going home in the back.......

In the back is rarely paid anymore.....

[Demon Dynasty 17,109]

2 hours ago, david_neitz_is_my_dad said:

 

 

Fabulous DN.... how are they putting these together and so quickly i wonder?

It's a great listen

Like the nic they've come up with on MMM for Harry... "The P Train"

Edited July 30, 2023 by Demon Dynasty

[deejammin' 2,361]

I was one who questioned whether Petty had earned his forward spot. Insane performance. Spectacular. If he can keep competing like that every week we’ve got one here, 6 goals a huge bonus. 
We still look a little undersized, I feel like there’s a spot if Grundy can get into dangerous form, but I’m not sure who for. 

Gawn is the greatest ruckman of all time, deserves a seventh jacket, English isn’t fit to hold his mouth guard. Won us the game again. 

Viney, unbelievable, Lever brilliant, JVR and Melksham outstanding. McVee excellence response in the second half, ANB’s best game for the year, when he plays well we look so much better. Salem and Riv so good. We had a few messy turnovers and silly decisions but ultimately are building nicely. Although it wasn’t a great game I think Tomlinson stays in, Smith is the ultimate sub and seems to always have impact without getting injured this way. 
Scary to think we still have Oliver in for JJ, Sparrow for Harmes, Fritsch for Woey and potentially Grundy somewhere. That’s an insane team!

[Guest]

Shoutout to half of row G in the bay next to us (Richmond reprobates) who were ejected during the last quarter by the police. Directing a “w&nker” chant at Ryan isn’t the way to get our attention, we ignored  the undesirables. So the bottom-feeders decided to abuse the Dees supporters around them, yelling profanities and showing the middle finger en masse. Classy bunch. 

NICE GOING, CHUMPS. 😃

[FireInTheBennelly 4,072]

4 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Very good BDA - but be cautious where you direct the high pressure

Since when have you worried about the neighbours!🤣🤣🤣

[Demon Dynasty 17,109]

26 minutes ago, WalkingCivilWar said:

Shoutout to half of row G in the bay next to us (Richmond reprobates) who were ejected during the last quarter by the police. Directing a “w&nker” chant at Ryan isn’t the way to get our attention, we ignored  the undesirables. So the bottom-feeders decided to abuse the Dees supporters around them, yelling profanities and showing the middle finger en masse. Classy bunch. 

NICE GOING, CHUMPS. 😃

Nighty night big Shazza, Queen of the Richmond ferrals!!

It's only appropriate that we re-visit this classic post from the legendary Biffinator of Big Footy here in memory of Queen Shazza...

 

Biffinator

Premiership Player

• Jun 22, 2011

• #1

“At the heart of every Richmond supporter there lies a streak of self-loathing – that is why they turn on each other like wild animals.”

This ex-cathedra maxim was ringing in my ears as I logged off from PuntRoadEnd.com, where I am an agent provocateur (and this is true). One of life’s simple pleasures is pretending to be a (rabid) Richmond supporter, the aim being to throw petrol onto the fire and then stand back in awe to behold the conflagration.

Anyway, I was feeling rather pleased with myself when an SMS came through from Deestroy.

“Biff, stop being so bloody smug! Your challenge this week, should you chose to accept it, is to infiltrate the Richmond Grog Squad – the mob who congregate behind the Punt Road goals and sing various dirges as the Tigers (sic) take it up the [censored] on the field. Your mission: create havoc. Bonus points if you shag Big Shazza, the Queen of the Richmond ferals.”

I accepted the mission on the spot. That left six days of preparation. I bought an old duffel coat from the Opp Shop. Soon afterwards, I purchased a number ‘8’ from Spotlight which I half-stitched onto its back. There was some junk mail in the letterbox that featured a pest control company. I cut out the word ‘Cockroach’, sticky-taped it to the back of the duffel coat and then (lightly) scribbled out the first four letters. Once done, I let the mutt sleep on it for the remainder of the week. I stopped having showers. Eschewing toothpaste, I brushed my teeth in coca-cola. I became a stranger to dunny paper, underpants and razors. It was out with the Mozart and in with the hard rockin’ pub songs and the High Art of Jimmy Barnes. Much to my wife’s anguish, I staged a few domestics which necessitated a visit from the Cop Shop. Come Saturday morning, I was ready. My own self-loathing was in floodtide. Come on the Tiges!

Now Richmond were playing the Dees. My first stop was the Cricketer’s Arms on Punt Road. It was midday. I barged through the front door and shouted hoarsely, “Who thinks Dusty Brownlow Martin is a ****ing deadset legend, eh?” I was immediately befriended by five bona fide members of the Richmond Grog Squad: Shane from Scoresby; Wayne from Wantirna; Mike from Moe; Rob from Rowville and Karen from Cardinia. Collectively, they held down one part-time job between them. Rob was an inveterate scratcher: he warranted a flea-bomb. Mike, who had a squint, had travelled all the way from the West Moe Caravan Park to support the ‘Mighty Tigers’ – a Pilgrim’s Progress indeed. Shane & Wayne looked as if they were born to play the roles of Banquo’s killers in Macbeth:

“I am one, my liege, Whom the vile blows and buffets of the world Have so incensed that I am reckless what I do to spite the world. . . . . And I another, So weary with disasters, tugg'd with fortune, That I would set my lie on any chance, To mend it, or be rid on't.”

The less said about Karen the better, lest cycling metaphors be invoked.

Now the quintet was thoroughly intoxicated; the cans of UDLs that were strewn at their feet bore testimony to their liquor of choice. We were all in agreement: whoever barracked for the Dees was a NTTAWWTta and Jacky Watts was a trans at best. The remaining hour or so was spent betting on the Warragul dogs or baiting other Richmond supporters at the bar. Twice I had to avert a cat-fight between Karen and another Richmond slag. It was [censored]-on-[censored] action in every sense.

Come 1.30, it was time to lurch over to the ‘G. With the assistance of some healthcare cards – thoroughly fake - we trooped through the gates with little damage to our pockets. Karen had stashed a few cans of UDLs down her blouse; given the aesthetics, they were safer than the gold in Fort Knox. Once inside, we spotted one of the Bay’s most prominent Richmond supporters, Buddha Bing, primly making his way towards the Amway Superbox. He was a sallow looking guy. Hair-gel was trickling down his forehead like sweat. He was also wearing one of his famous Roger David reversible suits with an elastic tie. Sure, he barracked for the Tigers, but to the quintet he was an ideological enemy in a cheap pair of shoes. In no uncertain terms, Mike informed him that he was a ****ing goose – Richmond or no Richmond, only toffs sat in a superbox. And Buddha Bing had better stop trying to foist the Amway soap-powder on his old dear back in West Moe, no less.

It took us ten minutes or so to hobble our way over to the Punt Road end of the ground. In doing so, we profusely abused the opposition supporters that came our way – any buccaneer on the Spanish Main would have been shocked by their language but it was par for the course here. Additionally the spittle was a’flyin’. Ditties proclaiming the heroism of Richo or Dusty Martin were coined on the spot. To evade detection, I breathed incessantly through my mouth, made strange animal noises and walked with a limp. Our destination was at hand: the Richmond Grog Squad. The quintet introduced me to their peers. I was promptly accepted as one of their own, particularly when I screeched out: “Scully and Trengove ain’t worth a bum hair on Dusty’s ring!” Much like the Black Hole that lies at the heart of our own Milky Way, I could sense the presence of Big Shazza, but for the moment, a phalanx of uber-bogans stood between the two of us.

The game started not long afterwards. True to form, Richmond started to take it up the [censored]. The on-field debacle did not bother the Grog Squad who sang on regardless. It was time to initiate my mission. As it so happens, I am no mean ventriloquist. I targeted a particularly virulent section of the Grog Squad and let fly with the following

“Dustin Martin’s tatts are fake. He got ‘em from Cornflakes packet. His mummy rubbed a ‘em on with a twenty cent piece.”

A brawl erupted spontaneously. Haymakers were legion. A few unfortunates were kicked as they lay on the ground. The police soon waded in and nabbed the participants, much to the delight of the remaining members of the Grog Squad who sang the usual refrain.

Good but not great I thought to myself. I turned to another section and pitched:

“Chris Newman is more of a Western Star job than Joel Bowden. He’s as useless as a condom on a dog.”

Another brawl erupted, It was more vicious than the first. Minutes later, the main antagonists were hauled away by the constabulary. Stretchers were used to carry off the worst of the casualties. The ranks of the Grog Squad had thinned, but not to the point where I could readily approach Queen Shazza at the epicentre. It was time, therefore, to drop the P-bomb, however untrue it was:

“There won’t be any father-sons from Richo – he’s too busy hanging around the dunnies at the Robert Peel Hotel. ‘Fleet’s in, time to sin’ is his motto!”

Another fight erupted. The Colosseum itself never viewed brutality of this kind. Not even Leigh Matthews would countenance the king-hits from behind that were being dished out like lolly water. Tannin-stained teeth clattered to the ground. The mist of brain matter saturated the air. Some of the Richmond wenches disappeared into the affray, only to emerge seconds later with big clumps of pubic hair in their hands. The Fight Club re-enactment lasted some five minutes or so, leaving the Grog Squad decimated but undaunted. Accordingly, I pushed my way towards the centre. And there, enthroned in her bogan glory, sat Queen Shazza on a bean bag.

In the universe, matter is counter-balanced by anti-matter. As I beheld this anti-regal figure, I realised that she too, in a feral sort of way, was the antithesis to Queen Elizabeth I as portrayed in the famous Armada Portrait. Each one of her monstrous thighs could have been sponsored by Samboy Chips. There was no bra in existence that had the tensile strength to uphold her gigantic mammary glands – nay, bovine udders. Nicotine patches had been attached to her nipples for whatever mad reason. Her skin was covered in blotches, acme and self inflicted scratch marks. Intrepid though I was, I dared not look below her navel to the Valley of the Werewolf. Verily, Queen Shazza was regnant over all that she surveyed. She did not need to see the game itself – she was randomly screeching out imprecations at the opposition as she sipped away on a UDL.

“Queen Shazza – so we meet at last. The circle is now complete. The Self-Loathing is with You!”

She flicked a toxic glance at me.

“What do youse want? I aint gonna suck your dick if that’s what youse wants. I aints no slag!”

I looked at her more deeply. It was not hard to foresee that one day she would drown on her own vomit or be smothered to death by one of her own [censored]. Even so, the image of the Oracle from the Matrix flashed into my mind. Perhaps there was an affinity to be explored.

“Shazza, will the Tigers ever come good?”

She looked darkly into her can of UDL. The wellspring was dry. She threw it away and started to spit on herself, Richmond-style.

“The Toiges are always gonna be s**t. s**t – s**t – s**t!”

I then realised that the second of Deestroy’s challenges was a ‘Bridge too Far.’ Assuming my hydraulics were sound – an advocate of fat sex I ain’t – I had neglected to bring along a miner’s lamp, rope, and grappling hooks, the second assumption being that the target-area could be safely identified. Failure was mine. It was time to flee from her august presence. Like one of her courtiers, I spat on the ground, adjust my crotch and croaked out:

“See’s ya down at the pokies, Big Girl.”

Stupefied by the grog, she vomited all over herself and gave me a thumps up.

I rejoined the mob. Sylvia, who loves to play against the Yellow and Black, was running amok. Towards the end of the match, sadness overcame me. Standing with the Richmond Grog Squad would make anyone rethink their position on eugenics. Each of its members – indubitably - is a downpipe for DNA of the most degraded kind. Erroneous or otherwise, there is a belief that Man was created in the image and likeness of God. As I encompassed the mob around me – Come on the Mighty Tiges – this viewpoint was entirely redundant. It was the Triumph not of the Will, but of the Swineherd.

The match came to a dreary end. Much to everyone’s relief, the siren sounded. Wretches one and all, the Richmond players hobbled off. Sure they wore the same jumpers as players such as Captain Blood, Royce Hart and Hungry, but the comparison went no deeper. This was no Gotterdammerung – the Twilight of the Gods, it resembled, rather, a Requiem for the Pullets. Befittingly, the Grog Squad sang a dirge. Other than a surreptitious vomit on the Moe-bound V-Liner, there was nothing to look forward to. I quietly slipped away. Once home. I washed the Richmond excrement off my personage, apologised to my wife and regained my humanity.

The World will hold its breath. Dees by 10 points.

Biffinator.

 

Edited July 30, 2023 by Demon Dynasty

[Adam The God 30,022]

That was May's best game for quite some time (he did everything well - had a new signal for the kick up the corridor too haha), Lever was back intercepting as well and I thought it was actually Tomlinson who struggled the most this week. But Richmond's forward half is not as scary as it once was.

Rivers was really good again. His ball use in the last 3-4 weeks has gone through the roof. I'd say when he shifted into that Gus intercept role, he was starting to fatigue, but was still trying to play that explosive game as he was very 50-50 on those plays by foot, now he's reliable and becoming a real offensive weapon for us - super important given the way we slingshot off turnover in the defensive half. When Clarry comes back, I'd say Gus will have to stay in the middle, because Rivers is too explosive and creative to substitute for Gus.

Petty, JVR and Melksham worked really well together, with Kozzy, Trac and Chandler, that's a very potent and attacking forward mix. Woey is the least damaging and I'd look at how a resting tall (Grundy) looks alongside Petty, JVR and Melksham next week. I'm really happy for Petty though. His hands have always been good, but he's seemed to lack a bit of confidence and continuity at times this year. Today, he was excellent and could have had 2 or 3 more contested marks than the 4 he had.

There's still an adjustment happening where we're tinkering with our press and our set up behind the ball and through the middle of the ground. Sending Max back behind the ball also gave us a look we've seen before, which allows us to manufacture +1/interceptors as the opposition man up or double team Max, leaving another of our defenders to intercept. It's a huge weapon, and I suspect we have plans for this with Grundy in the team as well (specifically, being able to send Max behind the ball). The trouble with this conundrum is JVR and even Petty did well at times in the ruck, and JVR has been serviceable as a number 2. That said, I still believe there's a way we can maintain dominance/give ourselves a different look when momentum is against us, by mixing and matching Max and Brodie. 

I felt JJ struggled, so I think the most vulnerable and likely to make way this week are JJ for Clarry and Harmes for Sparrow. I have no idea what we do with our forwardline when Fritta is back. Melksham has looked offensively dangerous the last month. If we're determined to play the 2 ruck set up, which I think we will be, it's looking like Melksham or JVR will be the unlucky one or do we go one less mid/half forward and play a forwardline of Petty, JVR, Grundy, Melksham, Fritta, Kozzy, Chandler and ANB?

And finally a word on Max. I thought he was smashed in the first quarter, but his response was incredible and a real 'Max of old' performance.

I wouldn't like to be apart of match committee going forward...

[John Demonic 5,702]

The Petty doubter receipt keeping is ridiculous. Goodwin himself inexplicably put him back into defence after the forward experiment and after recovering from injury, when most were calling for him to be continued up forward and Tomlinson played back.

Fair enough that people would hold some doubts, when the coach himself did not back him to play there a month ago, opting for Benny Brown and Joel Smith instead.

Edited July 30, 2023 by John Demonic

[JimmyGadson 3,455]

Great win. Not without some umpiring going our way in the last but every side gets that from time to time. Happy for it to be us. 

I think we're in prime position to be resting some important players this week and I think it's a must. Really hope Goody thinks the same. 

Gawn and Viney namely. Just give them a week. For god's sake please give them a week. 

Grundy, dunstan/Oliver or sparrow and Hibberd to come in potentially. 

We can completely set ourselves for a huge end to the year and some serious momentum heading into finals. 

[hardtack 10,505]

6 hours ago, dazzledavey36 said:

McVee looked completely out of his depth in the first half. He was fumbly, losing his feet in contest and seemed to just lose his composure. 

His ability to fight back in the 2nd half and change his game around was very impressive.

Won some huge one on one contests and was able to compose himself much better and compose himself a lot better.

 

I don’t know if you noticed, but at one point he appeared to be talking tactics with Dusty; and Dusty seemed more than happy to share. A nice moment.

Edited July 30, 2023 by hardtack

[hardtack 10,505]

3 hours ago, dl4e said:

Speaking of whining tiger supporters what about baltas goal in the last. Didn't he touch the behind post when he had the ball in his hands a moment before he kicked the goal. I am not 100% sure but is that  out of bounds.

No, they clarified later in the coverage that the ball has to touch the point post… it’s similar to the out of bounds rule in that your body can be over the line as long as you are still controlling the ball in the field of play.