Crystal Ball 2019: Predictions for next season

[Deemania since 56 6,632]

Mach5, smiling about points 1,2,3,6 and 8.

Worried about point 4. Cannot lose him, replaces the forever-erroring OMac in all regards. Whilst many do not agree, many more do agree.

As for point 7, without drive, ambition and effort, possibly correct.

Still, have a great Christmas and New Year. ?

[Dee Dubya 220]

Essendon defeats Collingwood in 1st Preliminary Final and advances to Grand Final. Melbourne defeats Geelong in the 2nd Preliminary Final by a whopping 187 points and proceeds to the Grand Final. We defeat the Bombers by 5 goals. Eddy produces documents that prove that Essendon used drugs on the day of the 1st Prelim and the result is subsequently reversed. AFL orders a Grand Final replay between Dee's and Magpies with the result being a draw at the final siren. After another 15 minutes of play, Melbourne goes on to defeat Collingwood by 1 point. In order to deflect from all the corruption scandals plaguing him, Prime Minister Bill Shorten announces MFC to be the greatest football team in history and all Melbourne supporters to receive free beer for the next 12 months. Malcolm Turnbull joins ALP and is made Deputy Prime Minister. Declares that he supports Bill Shorten 100%.

[Deemania since 56 6,632]

On 12/11/2018 at 1:08 PM, KK16 said:

Oscar is a better lock down defender, and suits May and Lever’s natural dash and intercept marking

Problem is OMac in lock-down means being five paces behind his direct opponent, still moving evasively around a pack of opposition forwards to avoid the crush and the defensive role that would be expected, and is so lead-footed that he does not break away from opponents when he has the ball, 4 times out of 5. 

[Sir Why You Little 37,016]

On 12/1/2018 at 4:20 AM, faultydet said:

Finish 4th-5th after a slower than expected start to the season.

Not quite a Premiership side. We make the grand final if we play a Prelim in Melb, we don't if its interstate.

Weids to kick 50 including finals

List elevation for new rookie Kade Chandler, who plays a senior game in place of the slower Spargo

Marty Hore to debut very early. Lever to take until late season to return to seniors.

Sparrow to play, and immediately draw comparisons to Olli Wines (including his iffy kicking)

Steven May to be All-Australian

Kade Kolo is in and out of the side, with Hunt playing some games on the wing.

Preuss to look lost while resting in the Forward line, but to be good enough in the ruck to allow Max to have significant time resting forward, where he kicks 25+ goals for the year. Preuss doesn't play finals if Max is fit and in form.

Nathan Jones to begin his slide, and be lucky to hold his place by the end of the season.

2 or more 100+ point wins for the year

Only 1 loss over 45 points

Going backwards: N. Jones, ANB, Frost Spargo, Fritsch, Lewis

Stagnant, with people concerned we don't have the star we thought:  Petracca

Going forwards: Weideman (in a big way), Oscar, Harmes (Top 25 Brownlow)

Top 5 B&F

Viney, Oliver, Harmes, Gawn, May

Brayshaw to finish top 2 in Brownlow if he stays fit, even though only finishing top 10 in B&F

 

I think that's enough darts for now.

I don’t know whether i like that or not???

[Sir Why You Little 37,016]

8 hours ago, Dee Dubya said:

Essendon defeats Collingwood in 1st Preliminary Final and advances to Grand Final. Melbourne defeats Geelong in the 2nd Preliminary Final by a whopping 187 points and proceeds to the Grand Final. We defeat the Bombers by 5 goals. Eddy produces documents that prove that Essendon used drugs on the day of the 1st Prelim and the result is subsequently reversed. AFL orders a Grand Final replay between Dee's and Magpies with the result being a draw at the final siren. After another 15 minutes of play, Melbourne goes on to defeat Collingwood by 1 point. In order to deflect from all the corruption scandals plaguing him, Prime Minister Bill Shorten announces MFC to be the greatest football team in history and all Melbourne supporters to receive free beer for the next 12 months. Malcolm Turnbull joins ALP and is made Deputy Prime Minister. Declares that he supports Bill Shorten 100%.

Just so wrong!! except for the last bit

[Ugottobekidding 1,184]

My prediction is that Melbourne will play 22 games at the least ?

[Skuit 10,031]

 

The Demonland MFCSS crystal balls-up.

Little Charlie Spargo will collapse into an on-field coma after being denied a well-needed rest before round three, to be later diagnosed with late onset narcolepsy. The AFL will reintroduce a condition-specific sub-rule to cater to Charlie’s condition, only for the other clubs to take advantage of the new clause by pumping warm milk into their under-performing players through an IV drip at half-time. While the Bombers prove to be well ahead of the game, scandal will rock the AFL when Jay Kennedy-Harris is discovered with a tell-tale milk-moustache after exiting the main-break huddle.

Although Jayden Hunt will be banned for two years in the subsequent investigation after testing positive for Nippy’s, Clayton Oliver will escape sanction, with the judicial panel finding the submitted visual evidence of Clayton sporting a milk-moustache to be highly inconclusive. Oliver, however, will be one of the first humans on Earth to be officially recognised as a victim of global warming, succumbing to the 0.00000134-point rise on the ultra-violet index. His ashes will be left on the MCG in a moving but practical response to the tragedy. Pundits will say he should have altered his zink to banana-boat ratio.

There will be calls for Alex Neal-Bullen to be dropped before Easter. The proletarian MFC selectors will finally succumb to the demands of the self-anointed Demonland High Council, but when they approach Alex to inform him of his demotion, ANB will just run away, and just keep running, from coast-to-coast, an unlikely protagonist in all the nation-forming events to occur in Australia for the next 30 or so years. Sadly, Alex’s fumbly hand-eye co-ordination will prevent him from ever rising up as a world-champion talent at terrestrial ping-pong. 

The MFC is like a box of snakes.

As a senior leader of the club, and otherwise unavailable for the next 18 weeks due to an on-field incident which effectively ends Sam Frost’s career (of which the majority of Demonlanders will accept was a reasonable act under the circumstances), Jordan Lewis will be sent to chase after ANB, but will immediately and inexplicably fall over. As a senior citizen in general, the broken hip Lewis suffers in the fall will prove especially unfortunate, marking both the end of his own career and the beginning of a rapid terminal decline.

Stay tuned for further MFCSS crystal-ball updates direct your psyche in the coming pre-season weeks. Go Dees!

Edited January 4, 2019 by Skuit

[Sir Why You Little 37,016]

9 minutes ago, Skuit said:

 

The Demonland MFCSS crystal balls-up.

Little Charlie Spargo will collapse into an on-field coma after being denied a well-needed rest before round three, to be later diagnosed with late onset narcolepsy. The AFL will reintroduce a condition-specific sub-rule to cater to Charlie’s condition, only for the other clubs to take advantage of the new clause by pumping warm milk into their under-performing players through an IV drip at half-time. While the Bombers prove to be well ahead of the game, scandal will rock the AFL when Jay Kennedy-Harris is discovered with a tell-tale milk-moustache after exiting the main-break huddle.

Although Jayden Hunt will be banned for two years in the subsequent investigation after testing positive for Nippy’s, Clayton Oliver will escape sanction, with the judicial panel finding the submitted visual evidence of Clayton sporting a milk-moustache to be highly inconclusive. Oliver, however, will be one of the first humans on Earth to be officially recognised as a victim of global warming, succumbing to the 0.00000134-point rise on the ultra-violet index. His ashes will be left on the MCG in a moving but practical response to the tragedy. Pundits will say he should have altered his zink to banana-boat ratio.

There will be calls for Alex Neal-Bullen to be dropped before Easter. The proletarian MFC selectors will finally succumb to the demands of the self-anointed Demonland High Council, but when they approach Alex to inform him of his demotion, ANB will just run away, and just keep running, from coast-to-coast, an unlikely protagonist in all the nation-forming events to occur in Australia for the next 30 or so years. Sadly, Alex’s fumbly hand-eye co-ordination will prevent him from ever rising up as a world-champion talent at terrestrial ping-pong. 

The MFC is like a box of snakes.

As a senior leader of the club, and otherwise unavailable for the next 18 weeks due to an on-field incident which effectively ends Sam Frost’s career (of which the majority of Demonlanders will accept was a reasonable act under the circumstances), Jordan Lewis will be sent to chase after ANB, but will immediately and inexplicably fall over. As a senior citizen in general, the broken hip Lewis suffers in the fall will prove especially unfortunate, marking both the end of his own career and the beginning of a rapid terminal decline.

Stay tuned for further MFCSS crystal-ball updates direct your psyche in the coming pre-season weeks. Go Dees!

WTF???

[Skuit 10,031]

4 minutes ago, Sir Why You Little said:

WTF???

Sorry, I forgot to include you. SWYL will choke on a bitter artichoke.

[Skuit 10,031]

Here's a collection of crystal-shaming from an entire decade ago from the willing folk still overtly present here on Demonland:

Dappa Dan: Yze to win the brownlow.

Little Goffy: Into the eight with about 13 wins, win a home MCG final against an overated Collingwood

titan-uranus: Jones, McLean, Moloney to become the no. 1 midfield in the comp

Praha: We'll make finals.

Clint Bizket: Melbourne to finish 5th.

Please note: Melbourne finished 16th in 2008. Adam Cooney won the Brownlow ahead of Simon Black. Paul Wheatley finished in approximately 65th place as the highest MFC player with 5 votes.

 

[Sir Why You Little 37,016]

45 minutes ago, Skuit said:

Here's a collection of crystal-shaming from an entire decade ago from the willing folk still overtly present here on Demonland:

Dappa Dan: Yze to win the brownlow.

Little Goffy: Into the eight with about 13 wins, win a home MCG final against an overated Collingwood

titan-uranus: Jones, McLean, Moloney to become the no. 1 midfield in the comp

Praha: We'll make finals.

Clint Bizket: Melbourne to finish 5th.

Please note: Melbourne finished 16th in 2008. Adam Cooney won the Brownlow ahead of Simon Black. Paul Wheatley finished in approximately 65th place as the highest MFC player with 5 votes.

 

That is a good read!

[Sir Why You Little 37,016]

1 hour ago, Skuit said:

Sorry, I forgot to include you. SWYL will choke on a bitter artichoke.

You obviously had some excellent medication last night to be able to write such a detailed MFCSS appraisal Skuit...

[Deeoldfart 8,016]

On 12/6/2018 at 7:24 PM, Neil Crompton said:

In the dying seconds of the last quarter of the 2019 grand final, Nev leaves his man, races down field, steamrolls Dusty, picks up the ball and nails a snap from the forward flank to put us in front for the first time - and then the siren sounds.

Rekindles joyous memories of 1964.  Thanks 'Froggy'.

[P-man 13,366]

Bump for any last minute predictions. Entries close 28 February.

[ManDee 7,134]

I predict entries will close February 28th.

[Uncle Fester 2,848]

Not enough time. Oh why oh why aren't we in a leap year?

[Neil Crompton 5,535]

Prediction for Port.

Jack Watts to be in top 5 in B&F this year.

[DV8 2,271]

Melbourne to be inconsistent in the first 6 H&A rounds.

 jLever to return Rnd 8.

Melbourne to finish 2019 H&A season at 3rd position of the ladder.

[DemonLad5 1,642]

- One of Melbourne, Collingwood, Richmond and West Coast miss the top 4 (hope it isn't us)

- Adelaide get back to strong footy and make top 6

- Oliver wins our BnF, McDonald 2nd

- Weideman continues his growth, 30 goals +

- Hunt regains his spot

- Kolodjashnij has a great year and becomes on of our most important players as an outside mid 

- We lose in the prelim again (gut feel) 

- The Preuss/Gawn tandom is deemed a failure by round 4 

[Matt Demon 1,418]

Bailey Fritsch will make the AA squad.

[Demon Dude 425]

we start the year unsure of what our best defensive set up looks like and we end up going with playing the 3 talls in May, Frost and Oscar. which makes our defence too big and slow, plus they all proceed to get in each others way and we leak goals, before Goody realises by about R3 or 4 that that's pretty much what happened to us last year.

and so he then drops Oscar and brings in the smaller, more mobile Marty Hore instead, who then manages to keep his spot in the team for the rest of the year, even when Lever returns, because by then its also become apparent that Lewis is struggling more than ever to keep up with the pace of the game and needs to be permanently replaced in the backline.

[ding 5,126]

Righto, here is whats going to happen......

 

We dont win the GF... Sorry.

Finish the home and away in 5th or 6th again, but fail to make the GF.

*Steven May to miss round 1 ( Thats still in the future so i say its not cheating )

*None of our young draftees play more than a handful of games

*Viney plays less than 15 games. Keeps getting injured.

 

*Oliver and Brayshaw to both finish top 20 in Brownlow, with one inside top 10. Oliver suspended at least once .

Weid drags out contract talk until end of the season.

*We dont score as many points as last year due to forward struggles.

*Preuss and Gawn together doesnt work. Preuss does give Max a "rest" in a couple of game though. (Not a big call)

*No 10 goal losses.

*A few 10 goal wins.

*Biggest improver = Joel Smith

*Slider = Nate Jones. (insert sadface)

[Neil Crompton 5,535]

7 hours ago, ding said:

Righto, here is whats going to happen......

 

We dont win the GF... Sorry.

Finish the home and away in 5th or 6th again, but fail to make the GF.

*Steven May to miss round 1 ( Thats still in the future so i say its not cheating )

*None of our young draftees play more than a handful of games

*Viney plays less than 15 games. Keeps getting injured.

 

*Oliver and Brayshaw to both finish top 20 in Brownlow, with one inside top 10. Oliver suspended at least once .

Weid drags out contract talk until end of the season.

*We dont score as many points as last year due to forward struggles.

*Preuss and Gawn together doesnt work. Preuss does give Max a "rest" in a couple of game though. (Not a big call)

*No 10 goal losses.

*A few 10 goal wins.

*Biggest improver = Joel Smith

*Slider = Nate Jones. (insert sadface)

Ding, you need to go back on your happy meds

[Bring-Back-Powell 14,816]

Probably the wrong time to ask as everyone’s emotionally charged and upset, but how many game do you all think we’ll win after our disastrous start?

I’ll get the ball rolling with 7 wins after a horrid 1-10 or 2-9 first half. The club does not resemble anything of last year and is missing some handy personnel.

Lever and May will hopefully fix our defence in July and August but it will be too late.

[PJ_12345 1,098]

Any chance guaranteed Grand Final tickets are refundable and/or tax deductable?... asking for a mate