2009 Player Review - #9 Marty 'No Name' McGurk

[beelzebub 22,225]

Marty McGurk Marty missed round one, and unfortunately never really recovered from his in-grown toenail, and was off mid season to have some surgery. Upon his return to the club from his convalescence on Koh Samui he got down to business. He has shown great dedication and application whilst carrying the drinks for the Scorpions reserves and showed much promise in his limited cameo runs later in the year at Casey. 2010 will be his chance at a break out year and hopefully will rise to the attention of the football dept and spectators alike as nobody really seems to have heard of NoName. -Seen Someone on melbournefc.com.au Edited September 24, 2009 by belzebub59

[WonnaJurah 5]

What a star,how he missed out on The Brownlow,il never know

[Demonised 1,215]

I heard his name mentioned as a trade possibility, but take him off the table, now! This guy is our future!

[Chook 14,572]

Go Number Nine!

[Viney Vidi Vici 110]

Stuff putting his number on the back of my jumper, I want that name on my back.

[Demonised 1,215]

I've reconsidered. Much as it pains me, if we can get a first round pick for this guy, I'm prepared to trade him.

[Whispering_Jack 28,005]

McGurk leaves Demons

The Melbourne Football Club wishes to advise that player Marty McGurk has requested a trade and will be leaving the Club.

McGurk met with Club officials on Friday morning to confirm his decision. 

Melbourne has reached an in principle agreement with the Gold Coast Football Club for their third choice (selection 3 overall) in next year’s National Draft.  This agreement is subject to the finalisation of paperwork during Trade Week, commencing Monday 5 October 2009, and the completion of medical screenings.

General Manager - List Management Tim Harrington said "It is very disappointing to lose a player of Marty's calibre. Once Marty made this decision it was important that we secured a commensurate trade. This has been achieved."

"We are now in a very strong position at the 2010 National Draft with one selection inside the top 18. In the context of the first compromised draft for a number of years, this represents an outstanding opportunity to further build and develop our young playing list."

Marty McGurk said "I have come to the decision that the best thing for my football career is to move on to the Gold Coast where I can spend the off season sucking on cans of frothies and getting pissed out of the public's glare. While it has been an extremely tough decision as I have given the Club my all, I am confident it is the right one for both parties."

McGurk's former manager Mr. "Tricky" Dicky Nixon had earlier denied that McGurk was a passenger in Bomber defender Michael's taxi during an alleged altercation which took place at 5.00 this morning insisting his client was asleep on a park bench outside Rod Laver Arena at the time.

At a hastily convened press conference McGurk announced he had retained Paul Connors as his new manager and expressed confidence that under new guidance his career was "about to take off in a big way."

  

The Melbourne Football Club thanks Marty for his contribution over the past six years and 34 games with Sandringham and Casey Seconds. He made a significant impact both on and off the field. He has been a liked and respected Melbourne person. All associated with the club wish him well.

[beelzebub 22,225]

Word has it that the football dept consider him a young kid who has some good pace, agility and big ( proven whilst carrying drinks btw) He kicked two goals in his first match with the Casey 2nds before succumbing to his affliction The FD will continue to develop him as a second-year player on Melbourne’s list and ought to be right in 4 to 6 .. only missing the start of the preseason. He will be on a modified program.

Apparently a few other clubs have had scouts appraising this lad so maybe a trade isnt out of the realms of possibility. More a late 2nd round possibly,,, but with the clubs new electric buggy( to carry things ) they might be open to all offers.

edit:

well that late breaking news confirms my sources. Good luck on the Gold Coast Marty... and you'll probably have to seek a new personal sponsor... maybe XXXX instead of the current VB-Mid !!

Edited September 25, 2009 by belzebub59

[Demonised 1,215]

I'm gutted, and I currently have my Stanley knife out to cut his number from my duffle coat. I understand, footy's changed, but isn't there such a thing as loyalty? After all the effort and time we've put into him.

I guess it's a bad week to be giving up wart killer.

[Blistering 493]

AFL stars Hurley and McGurk 'assaulted cabbie' after Footy Show booze-up

Tex Hooper | September 25, 2009 - 3:58PM

Essendon’s rising star Michael Hurley and Melbourne’s Marty “No Name” Gurk had spent the night partying at a Footy Show event before both allegedly assaulted the same taxi driver in separate incidents in Richmond early this morning.

The Essendon Football Club has released a statement expressing its disappointment in the promising 19-year-old, who was taken into police custody following the incident.

Meanwhile, the same taxi driver was allegedly assaulted by McGurk whilst attempting to flee from Hurley. McGurk who started drinking at the Grand Final Footy Show after-party and had clearly had too much to drink by night’s end, fell asleep on a park bench outside the Rod Laver Arena where the original Footy Show event occurred. He was woken by screams of agony from the taxi driver and stumbled into the path of his oncoming taxi.

"The cab stopped a matter of inches away from my face so I decided to belt the [censored] out of him," McGurk told reporters.

The taxi driver suffered minor injuries and was not taken to hospital.

McGurk has not been charged because he managed to board a Gold Coast bound flight to join his new club before police were able to question him.

[Guest Rojik of the Arctic]

Good bye Marty. Of all the players I never saw you were the best. I look forward to not seeing you run around for the Gold Coast.

[Deeman 1,403]

Macca's name has been synonymous with tragedy since the very beginning when Craig Cameron read out the wrong number at the 2003 national draft and selected him instead of Sam Fisher with pick 52. Then there was that torn hamstring incurred 8 seconds into his Wizard Cup debut that kept him out for 18 months. When he finally returned to full fitness, things just went downhill. The whole tragic episode has been told 100 times around here so I won't bore you with it again.

[Carn dees 108]

lol....WHAT THE!

[Kiss of Death 708]

We're losing Marty?

Ever since he gave the bird to the camera in the change rooms, it's been a media circus. Hopefully we can get a good pick for him! What's Freo offering these days?

[Sydney Pennski 270]

Of course, Marty didn't always wear the number 9 guernsey. He was originally given the number 54 but took over Neita's number a week after the club gave the big full forward his send off against Hawthorn in Round 9, 2008.

There is some controversy about how he came to acquire the number but legend has it that the club's dyslexic property steward who is also short-sighted saw his shock of red hair and mistook him for Matty Bate in the rooms at the Docklands as the team prepared for its game the following week against St. Kilda and handed McGurk what he mistakenly thought was the number 6 but the pile of neatly dry cleaned red, blue and silver guernseys had been put on the table upside down. One thing followed another and, to the horror of those in the coach's box and the shock of the sparse crowd of Demon supporters on hand that day Marty "No Name" McGurk somehow ran out onto the ground with the the number 9 on his back and made his AFL debut there and then. Meanwhile, Bate's name had to be hastily withdrawn from the team sheet.

McGurk was hidden played in a forward pocket and was not the team's worst player because the ball rarely went into the Demons' attacking zone. St. Kilda led all day, won by 79 points and the football world accused Melbourne for the first time of tanking at the press conference after the game. The claim was immediately rebuffed by AFL boss Andrew Demetriou who threatened to ban any reporter who breathed the "T" word.

The next week McGurk was back with the Sandy seconds where he was interchanged off the bench with Isaac Weetra. He has not played an AFL game since but the Gold Coast hierarchy has big plans for both McGurk and Karmichael Hunt who are now room mates at the Main Beach Caravan Park.       

[Demonised 1,215]

The whisper is that Marty is showing up on Celebrity Master Chef ...

[george_on_the_outer 6,992]

McGurk becomes AFL first International trade

26 September 2009

In another interesting twist to the McGurk saga, he has been linked with Kerry- the Gaelic Football Champions for 2009. With Taydh Kenneally having completed his childhood dream of an All Ireland Championship, there is speculation that he may head back to the Colonies for a further stint with Sydney.

Paul Roos was very keen to offer Kerry something to entice Keneally back to the Australian shores, and McGurk could fill that role.

" An Irish heritage, a slightly volatile nature, not to mention the red-hair makes him the all-round package for the Kerrymen" said Roos following his recent trip to Dublin.

" Recent developments associated with young Hurley may also have some appeal to McGurk, as there is not known to be an extradition treaty between Australia and the Irish Republic. Something to do with them not wanting back any of those who they sent over here a long time ago..." he further added.

All that remains now is for Sydney to come to some suitable draft arrangements with Melbourne or the Gold Coast as compensation. That and some adequate travel arrangements to Ireland- which is being handled by well known Sydney travel agent Mr.B.Trimbole.

[Demonised 1,215]

Confirmed: Marty McGurk is going to be invited to join the G20 group of nations in his own right, bumping out Canada.

[#MYHEARTBEATSTRUE 27]

This is Marty McGurk,,,

[Apocalypse XXXI 243]

So long Marty.

You've left my broken heart behind you but I'll never forget the brief time we had together earlier this year.

Apocalypse XXXI

Maternity Ward Room 17

Royal Women's Hospital

[Chelly 742]

So long Marty.

You've left my broken heart behind you but I'll never forget the brief time we had together earlier this year.

Apocalypse XXXI

Maternity Ward Room 17

Royal Women's Hospital

I always said he should be called Marty "No Shame" McGurk. I've been vindicated.

[Bucks-Fan 1]

yea.. i have heard all of his efforts in Melbourne. My friend said he saw him at the royal children's hospital, dressed as a clown entertaining the children. and apparently he grew his own red-head afro..

Occasionally he also goes down to the shelter and cooks food for the homeless, and hold bingo nights for them- where they can win exciting prizes like solar torches and McGurk figurine's...

God bless him McGurk

[#MYHEARTBEATSTRUE 27]

yea.. i have heard all of his efforts in Melbourne. My friend said he saw him at the royal children's hospital, dressed as a clown entertaining the children. and apparently he grew his own red-head afro..

Occasionally he also goes down to the shelter and cooks food for the homeless, and hold bingo nights for them- where they can win exciting prizes like solar torches and McGurk figurine's...

God bless him McGurk

WOW WHAT A GUY!!!!

THREE CHEERS FOR MARTY

[Marty_9McGurk 0]

Hello Demonlander's,

As there has been much feedback to myself about this thread, I would just like to tell you that I am very pleased to know that I have all of your support, I know I must now do the hard work which is required through out the upcoming preseason to be able to have a chance of thrilling crowds and you my number one fans with my very well drilled skills, as for the in grown toe nail the doctors/medical team are very positive that it is well and truly gone, barring a freakish injury like getting poked in the pressure point I am ready to fire for season 2010.

As it has been reported that I may be heading to the gold coast in season 2011 this I can confirm is going to happen, due to the fact that I need to get my game back on track and need a change of environment, please do not hold this decision against myself as the MFC will be well compensated for the trade,

As for my hospital work, please do not go over the top as I really enjoy spending time with the kids, playing games/reading books and also telling the occasional joke...

So thank you Demonland for your support, look for the number 9 in the goal square in season 2010!!

Yours Sincerely

Marty McGurk

[Guest Rojik of the Arctic]

Hello Demonlander's,

As there has been much feedback to myself about this thread, I would just like to tell you that I am very pleased to know that I have all of your support, I know I must now do the hard work which is required through out the upcoming preseason to be able to have a chance of thrilling crowds and you my number one fans with my very well drilled skills, as for the in grown toe nail the doctors/medical team are very positive that it is well and truly gone, barring a freakish injury like getting poked in the pressure point I am ready to fire for season 2010.

As it has been reported that I may be heading to the gold coast in season 2011 this I can confirm is going to happen, due to the fact that I need to get my game back on track and need a change of environment, please do not hold this decision against myself as the MFC will be well compensated for the trade,

As for my hospital work, please do not go over the top as I really enjoy spending time with the kids, playing games/reading books and also telling the occasional joke...

So thank you Demonland for your support, look for the number 9 in the goal square in season 2010!!

Yours Sincerely

Marty McGurk

Love your work MMG