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From the banal to the serious

La Dee-vina Comedia
in Melbourne Demons

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Posted

If you were putting together a bingo card of words and expressions you expect to hear tomorrow, whether on TV or radio, which are you hotly anticipating or dreading?

Here's a few:

"Melbourne hasn't won a Premiership in 57 years " (no kidding!)

 "They'll want to get the ball in Salem's hands"

"They'll want to get the ball in Daniel's hands"

"Rising Star winner, Luke Jackson"

"He's got a great engine" (Langdon)

Please add to the list

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    "Bontempelli just dropped it like a hot spud! Again!"

    "Libber just straight up ****ing threw it! The umps have put away the whistle!"

    "Gee, they throw the ball a lot, don't they, the Dogs?"

    "All the fizz has gone out of this game and it's still early in the third quarter."

    "Brown could set a record for goals in a grand final here."

    "It is indeed a GRAND OLD FLAG."

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    14 minutes ago, La Dee-vina Comedia said:

    Also meant to include:

    "He came into the match under an injury cloud" (any or all of May/Spargo/Keath)

    /Bontompelli

    🤞

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    Anything zealously referencing Norm Smith, RDB or Ted Whitten

    Ski fields 

    Cheese boards

     

    I bet the commentators won't mention Tom Wills...

    Edited by Stiff Arm

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    "He's built for finals footy"

    "Sad for the fans back home"

    "How will the rest affect them"

    "Perth has really got behind this Grand Final"

     

    Edited by faultydet

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    "What a success story Tom Mcdonald has been. On the trade table at the end of last year and has come back firing."

    "They could use Hunt's run and carry from half back."

    "The ball magnet Jack Macrae."

    "What a comeback story the dogs have had. Coming from fifth on the ladder and putting themselves in a position to hold the trophy." 

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    3 minutes ago, Hopeful Demon said:

    "What a success story Tom Mcdonald has been. On the trade table at the end of last year and has come back firing."

    "They could use Hunt's run and carry from half back."

    "The ball magnet Jack Macrae."

    "What a comeback story the dogs have had. Coming from fifth on the ladder and putting themselves in a position to hold the trophy." 

    "Ball magnet" is a beauty

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    One I don't want to hear:

    "That's Cody Weightman's forth goal. and they've all come from free kicks".

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    Dreading: Oh WOW BOYEE Did you see that?

    Which could be avoided by tuning into Dennis Cometti's radio call - "and it's another centimetre perfect pass from Spargo to Petracca which see's him kick his 3rd goal and it's Melbourne out now to a 60 point margin"

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    "He's Melbourne's modern-day Barassi"

    "Goodwin's future was under a real cloud this time last year."

    "The Dogs have won it before from outside the top 4."

    "Hasn't Optus Stadium put on a great show."

    "Beveridge will have his team really fired up for this first quarter."

    "Daisy, I'll have to cut you off because I need to make some non-verbal exclamations here."

    "Lever is vulnerable if they can get him one-on-one"

     

     

     

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    2 hours ago, Little Goffy said:

    "Daisy, I'll have to cut you off because I need to make some non-verbal exclamations here."

    O please, they better not do this too much - I have a game to watch and stomach knots to untie every 2 minutes. 

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    "I'm back dominating the paint" & "Just call me Shaqasso" x 3 million times. 

    Oh, I forgot. The game is on channel 7. 

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     - Geez Ben Browns marking it at it's highest point. It's virtually impossible to spoil when he's doing that.

     - The Demons have set up well

     - They are starting to swarm

    - Ed Langdon has space again

    - They are out here

    - They just need to lower their eyes

    There will be some obscure Cyril Rioli reference when Kozzie kicks a goal.

     

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    The big commentary box in the sky . . .

    • "This is a real ding dong battle" - Lou Richards
    • "Champagne football by the Demons" - Lou Richards again
    • "Alex Neal-Bullen is right on 'is 'ammer" - Lou again
    • "By golly Bob, Spargo almost 'ad 'is 'ead pulled orf that time" and Lou again
    • "Langdon, all alone and unattended on the outer wing" - Doug Heywood
    • "Petracca, lets rip with a huge torpedo c*&t kick" - Doug Heywood again
    • "Kickett, just a good ordinary footballer" - Jack Dyer
    • “Max Gawn’s long arms reaching up like giant testicles.”- Jack Dyer again
    • "Jackson . . . you Beauty" - Mike Williamson

    And what we are likely to hear from the current crop of morons commentators

    • "Great call BT"
    • "Spot on Lingy"
    • "Very much so Hodgy"
    • "A grand final is a different game all together"
    • "Both sides will be happy to get the four points today Daze"
    • "Another goal to Spargo. That's his first for the day"
    • "Both sides and evenly matched and have 18 players"
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    2 hours ago, Rab D Nesbitt said:

    "I'm back dominating the paint" & "Just call me Shaqasso" x 3 million times. 

    Oh, I forgot. The game is on channel 7. 

    "Beautiful."

    "Thank you"

    "Not you" 

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    • Author
    On 9/24/2021 at 7:54 PM, Queanbeyan Demon said:

    The big commentary box in the sky . . .

    • "This is a real ding dong battle" - Lou Richards
    • "Champagne football by the Demons" - Lou Richards again
    • "Alex Neal-Bullen is right on 'is 'ammer" - Lou again
    • "By golly Bob, Spargo almost 'ad 'is 'ead pulled orf that time" and Lou again
    • "Langdon, all alone and unattended on the outer wing" - Doug Heywood
    • "Petracca, lets rip with a huge torpedo c*&t kick" - Doug Heywood again
    • "Kickett, just a good ordinary footballer" - Jack Dyer
    • “Max Gawn’s long arms reaching up like giant testicles.”- Jack Dyer again
    • "Jackson . . . you Beauty" - Mike Williamson

    And what we are likely to hear from the current crop of morons commentators

    • "Great call BT"
    • "Spot on Lingy"
    • "Very much so Hodgy"
    • "A grand final is a different game all together"
    • "Both sides will be happy to get the four points today Daze"
    • "Another goal to Spargo. That's his first for the day"
    • "Both sides and evenly matched and have 18 players"

    Brings back great memories. A couple that I can recall from that era:

    "He slipped at the psychological moment"

    "He's fallen for the three-card trick"

    "He's shown him a clean pair of heels"

    I think the first two were Mike Williamson and the last one was from Peter Landy.

    And while we're on old sports calls. My favourite of all time was Merv Williams calling the boxing on TV Ringside when he described a boxer who was KO'd as "He's lost interest". (I can't believe I ever watched boxing. In my defence, I was about 10 years old).

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