Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Demonland

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

From the banal to the serious

Featured Replies

If you were putting together a bingo card of words and expressions you expect to hear tomorrow, whether on TV or radio, which are you hotly anticipating or dreading?

Here's a few:

"Melbourne hasn't won a Premiership in 57 years " (no kidding!)

 "They'll want to get the ball in Salem's hands"

"They'll want to get the ball in Daniel's hands"

"Rising Star winner, Luke Jackson"

"He's got a great engine" (Langdon)

Please add to the list

 

"Bontempelli just dropped it like a hot spud! Again!"

"Libber just straight up ****ing threw it! The umps have put away the whistle!"

"Gee, they throw the ball a lot, don't they, the Dogs?"

"All the fizz has gone out of this game and it's still early in the third quarter."

"Brown could set a record for goals in a grand final here."

"It is indeed a GRAND OLD FLAG."

 
14 minutes ago, La Dee-vina Comedia said:

Also meant to include:

"He came into the match under an injury cloud" (any or all of May/Spargo/Keath)

/Bontompelli

🤞


Anything zealously referencing Norm Smith, RDB or Ted Whitten

Ski fields 

Cheese boards

 

I bet the commentators won't mention Tom Wills...

Edited by Stiff Arm

"He's built for finals footy"

"Sad for the fans back home"

"How will the rest affect them"

"Perth has really got behind this Grand Final"

 

Edited by faultydet

"What a success story Tom Mcdonald has been. On the trade table at the end of last year and has come back firing."

"They could use Hunt's run and carry from half back."

"The ball magnet Jack Macrae."

"What a comeback story the dogs have had. Coming from fifth on the ladder and putting themselves in a position to hold the trophy." 

 
  • Author
3 minutes ago, Hopeful Demon said:

"What a success story Tom Mcdonald has been. On the trade table at the end of last year and has come back firing."

"They could use Hunt's run and carry from half back."

"The ball magnet Jack Macrae."

"What a comeback story the dogs have had. Coming from fifth on the ladder and putting themselves in a position to hold the trophy." 

"Ball magnet" is a beauty

One I don't want to hear:

"That's Cody Weightman's forth goal. and they've all come from free kicks".


Dreading: Oh WOW BOYEE Did you see that?

Which could be avoided by tuning into Dennis Cometti's radio call - "and it's another centimetre perfect pass from Spargo to Petracca which see's him kick his 3rd goal and it's Melbourne out now to a 60 point margin"

"He's Melbourne's modern-day Barassi"

"Goodwin's future was under a real cloud this time last year."

"The Dogs have won it before from outside the top 4."

"Hasn't Optus Stadium put on a great show."

"Beveridge will have his team really fired up for this first quarter."

"Daisy, I'll have to cut you off because I need to make some non-verbal exclamations here."

"Lever is vulnerable if they can get him one-on-one"

 

 

 

2 hours ago, Little Goffy said:

"Daisy, I'll have to cut you off because I need to make some non-verbal exclamations here."

O please, they better not do this too much - I have a game to watch and stomach knots to untie every 2 minutes. 

"I'm back dominating the paint" & "Just call me Shaqasso" x 3 million times. 

Oh, I forgot. The game is on channel 7. 


 - Geez Ben Browns marking it at it's highest point. It's virtually impossible to spoil when he's doing that.

 - The Demons have set up well

 - They are starting to swarm

- Ed Langdon has space again

- They are out here

- They just need to lower their eyes

There will be some obscure Cyril Rioli reference when Kozzie kicks a goal.

 

The big commentary box in the sky . . .

  • "This is a real ding dong battle" - Lou Richards
  • "Champagne football by the Demons" - Lou Richards again
  • "Alex Neal-Bullen is right on 'is 'ammer" - Lou again
  • "By golly Bob, Spargo almost 'ad 'is 'ead pulled orf that time" and Lou again
  • "Langdon, all alone and unattended on the outer wing" - Doug Heywood
  • "Petracca, lets rip with a huge torpedo c*&t kick" - Doug Heywood again
  • "Kickett, just a good ordinary footballer" - Jack Dyer
  • “Max Gawn’s long arms reaching up like giant testicles.”- Jack Dyer again
  • "Jackson . . . you Beauty" - Mike Williamson

And what we are likely to hear from the current crop of morons commentators

  • "Great call BT"
  • "Spot on Lingy"
  • "Very much so Hodgy"
  • "A grand final is a different game all together"
  • "Both sides will be happy to get the four points today Daze"
  • "Another goal to Spargo. That's his first for the day"
  • "Both sides and evenly matched and have 18 players"
2 hours ago, Rab D Nesbitt said:

"I'm back dominating the paint" & "Just call me Shaqasso" x 3 million times. 

Oh, I forgot. The game is on channel 7. 

"Beautiful."

"Thank you"

"Not you" 

  • Author
On 9/24/2021 at 7:54 PM, Queanbeyan Demon said:

The big commentary box in the sky . . .

  • "This is a real ding dong battle" - Lou Richards
  • "Champagne football by the Demons" - Lou Richards again
  • "Alex Neal-Bullen is right on 'is 'ammer" - Lou again
  • "By golly Bob, Spargo almost 'ad 'is 'ead pulled orf that time" and Lou again
  • "Langdon, all alone and unattended on the outer wing" - Doug Heywood
  • "Petracca, lets rip with a huge torpedo c*&t kick" - Doug Heywood again
  • "Kickett, just a good ordinary footballer" - Jack Dyer
  • “Max Gawn’s long arms reaching up like giant testicles.”- Jack Dyer again
  • "Jackson . . . you Beauty" - Mike Williamson

And what we are likely to hear from the current crop of morons commentators

  • "Great call BT"
  • "Spot on Lingy"
  • "Very much so Hodgy"
  • "A grand final is a different game all together"
  • "Both sides will be happy to get the four points today Daze"
  • "Another goal to Spargo. That's his first for the day"
  • "Both sides and evenly matched and have 18 players"

Brings back great memories. A couple that I can recall from that era:

"He slipped at the psychological moment"

"He's fallen for the three-card trick"

"He's shown him a clean pair of heels"

I think the first two were Mike Williamson and the last one was from Peter Landy.

And while we're on old sports calls. My favourite of all time was Merv Williams calling the boxing on TV Ringside when he described a boxer who was KO'd as "He's lost interest". (I can't believe I ever watched boxing. In my defence, I was about 10 years old).

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • CASEY: Box Hill

    The Casey Demons secured their first win of the season by the narrow margin of four points against the Box Hill Hawks at Casey Fields on Easter Sunday morning.

    • 0 replies
  • POSTGAME: Gold Coast

    The Demons put four quarters of hard contested, fast running and high pressure football to knock off the ladder leaders and early premiership contenders the Gold Suns by 20 points at the MCG on Easter Sunday.

      • Clap
      • Haha
      • Love
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 367 replies
  • PODCAST: Gold Coast

    I’ll be away for the next few weeks, so Binman will be holding the fort for our podcasts covering the Suns, Bombers and Lions matches. As a result, there will be no live podcasts during this period, and we won’t be taking calls or voicemails. Binman will still be dipping into this thread to select a few questions to answer, while also combining the long-form Stats Files podcast with the Demonland Podcast for these shows. Your questions and comments are a huge part of what makes the podcast work, so please post anything you’d like to ask or say below and we’ll do our best to give you a shout-out on the show. Please try to keep each post focused on one specific topic or player to make podcast preparation a little easier. If you have multiple topics you’d like to raise, please put them in separate posts.

    • 10 replies
  • VOTES: Gold Coast

    Dual Reigning Champion Max Gawn has an early lead in the Demonland Player of the Year Award. He leads new recruit Jack Steele, forward Jacob van Rooyen and veteran Christian Salem. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, & 1.

      • Like
    • 60 replies
  • GAMEDAY: Gold Coast

    It's Game Day and the Demons are back at the MCG and have a massive challenge ahead of them as they take on Premiership contender the Gold Coast Suns. What do you want to see from the Dees today?

      • Like
    • 431 replies
  • PREVIEW: Gold Coast

    Melbourne’s slow starts have been a troubling theme for a while. Against the Suns, they started slowly in both of their games, they trailed by 5.7.37 to 0.1.1 at quarter time at Peoples First Stadium in Round 16. This season, the story has remained the same and if the Demons fail to shake off this issue against the unbeaten Gold Coast Suns, they will be in serious danger of capitulating once again in their Easter Sunday showdown.

    • 10 replies

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.