I love wacky ideas to make us better. So as long as you're not Steven Dank (or Cam Schwab) feel free to join in and get some going.

1. Artificial crowd noise at training

For skills drills and particularly goal kicking we should turn up the noise with some artificial crowd noise to replicate game day

2. Music at training:

On a similar line to point 1. But for running drills we should have some tunes going. Our players are pro's now, they'll train hard regardless. So lets let them have a bit of fun out there

3. Tinder swipe right night

Atlanta Hawks got it started. Dees can keep it going. Will just need to sort the filter to only include those in the MCC and of course improve the MCG's phone coverage or even better get it decked out with decent WiFi. http://grantland.com/the-triangle/atlanta-hawks-tinder-and-swipe-right-night-love-in-a-no-longer-hopeless-place/

4. Fitz-sub-trick

Take a chance that you'll get through the best part of 3/4's without an injury and make Fitzy the sub. Then sub a ruck and have a fresh player around the ground in the ruck for parts of quarters, as well as a super quick half forward coming in when the game has opened up. Could also try it with Pedersen but would need a different name. Pedo trick sounds nasty

5. Uncontested centre bounces

Practise this. Save it. Fake a dodgy interchange and feign panic in the ruck. Then have Vince, Jones etc in the ruck. Use it wisely:

Deliberately lose games to get the best draft picks, then have a great team and be world beaters.

Let Redleg members who take guests that are barracking for Melbourne to sit in the Redlegs area rather than forcing them upstairs to 2A. If the guests support the opposition fair enough as people pay to sit amongst their own supporters, but it's not as if bays N1-N4 are full. If they enjoy the experience they might sign up.

Lower the gift shop prices. $85 for a shirt is taking the pi$$.

free popcorn at half time?

  On 10/01/2015 at 01:30, sweet and sour dee said:

Deliberately lose games to get the best draft picks, then have a great team and be world beaters.

Worked for the Hawks & Pies ... as a concept, it's a workable idea (albeit "bending" the rules)

But, with those "best draft picks" that can eventuate from tanking, a club needs to get it right. Pick duds and not get any improvement and the recriminations can begin. The way it works is if you tank and then pick well, you're generally off the hook.

Tanking is always a chance of happening when there are drafts involved. It's happened in footy on numerous occasions and it happens in the NFL & NBA on an almost constant basis. The Cleveland Cavaliers and the Oakland Raiders get the finger pointed firmly in their direction because both those clubs kept drafting "busts" after tanking. The Indianapolis Colts on the other hand tanked and then drafted Andrew Luck - no such recriminations. There's a pattern.

GWS & the GCS have tanked yet most people in the football world either turning a blind eye or haven't noticed. Out of sight, out of mind. There's a very good chance that the Saints tanked last season ... were they seriously trying to win games? They started off at 3/2 after 5 games and then went 1/16.

Yes the moral of the story is, to do anything right (or wittingly wrong) you have to be competent. We were not. We sucked at sucking. With the systems in place now I think we are prime for tank 2.0. Who's with me?

Win games. Regain competition respect.

  On 10/01/2015 at 03:20, Moonshadow said:

Win games. Regain competition respect.

Now we know you're joking!

Open up a smoking section at home games.

What I reckon we do is that we get a bloke in a velvet smoking jacket to stand in the middle of the MCG and (CONTENTS CENSORED).

Short term objectives.

Smash Mitch Clark into oblivion ,leading to severe bout of depression,make him quit.

Smash Joel Selwoods head to a pulp.

Set fire to the Cattery after the win.

Long Term

More games at the MCG on a Saturday Arvo. 210pm

Burn Etihad to the ground

Introduce LSD into Eddie McGuires food supply gradually until he needs to remain in a Mental health facility for the rest of his life.

List MFC as a public company on the ASX.

Dudleys raffle could be used to sell shares instead of chook raffle tickets.

  On 10/01/2015 at 22:49, Biffen said:

Short term objectives.

Smash Mitch Clark into oblivion ,leading to severe bout of depression,make him quit.

Smash Joel Selwoods head to a pulp.

Set fire to the Cattery after the win.

Long Term

More games at the MCG on a Saturday Arvo. 210pm

Burn Etihad to the ground

Introduce LSD into Eddie McGuires food supply gradually until he needs to remain in a Mental health facility for the rest of his life.

With posts like that, I sometimes wonder how you ended up supporting a club whose supporters have included Alan Stockdale, Billy Snedden (though I am guessing you approved of the manner of his passing), Rupert Murdoch and Henry Bolte (both number one ticket holders).

  On 10/01/2015 at 23:11, Colin B. Flaubert said:

With posts like that, I sometimes wonder how you ended up supporting a club whose supporters have included Alan Stockdale, Billy Snedden (though I am guessing you approved of the manner of his passing), Rupert Murdoch and Henry Bolte (both number one ticket holders).

Thanks a lot for that old chap. I may now have to review my membership.

Open up a stand at games and at the shop, where supporters can sign cards for junior members whose birthday is coming up.

  On 10/01/2015 at 23:11, Colin B. Flaubert said:

With posts like that, I sometimes wonder how you ended up supporting a club whose supporters have included Alan Stockdale, Billy Snedden (though I am guessing you approved of the manner of his passing), Rupert Murdoch and Henry Bolte (both number one ticket holders).

There's actually a quiet revolution going on, 'riff-raff infiltration' to break apart the old clique.

It's like the 'gay night' raids - hundreds of gay and lesbian people arrange to all turn up to have a perfectly ordinary pleasant night at some backwoods RSL or Rugby League club.

To the horror of the old boys with the ties and blazers; "Oh dear me! There are working people in here! Geoffrey! Geoffrey, you must kindly escort them from the premises!"

  On 11/01/2015 at 03:34, Little Goffy said:

There's actually a quiet revolution going on, 'riff-raff infiltration' to break apart the old clique.

It's like the 'gay night' raids - hundreds of gay and lesbian people arrange to all turn up to have a perfectly ordinary pleasant night at some backwoods RSL or Rugby League club.

To the horror of the old boys with the ties and blazers; "Oh dear me! There are working people in here! Geoffrey! Geoffrey, you must kindly escort them from the premises!"

i'm confused, are you talking of the traditional riff-raff, the faux riff-raff, the neo riff-raff, the hipster riff-raff or the bougoise riff-raff?

we should have a trumpeter that belts out grand old flag as THAT will help create an exciting atmosphere.

  On 11/01/2015 at 04:55, jacey said:

we should have a trumpeter that belts out grand old flag as THAT will help create an exciting atmosphere.

As long as every admission includes a free Nerf gun

Nude goal umpires for home games.

Play finals football again and stuff the rest of that rubbish

At boundary throw ins don't tap backwards, tap to the boundary line to a fast runner who times his run from a distance.

  On 10/01/2015 at 01:30, sweet and sour dee said:

Deliberately lose games to get the best draft picks, then have a great team and be world beaters.

He clearly told you to stay out of this one Schwabby.

I say we have a good look at the blueprint they are using for International Darts competitions. That is working a treat, imagine replicating the Etihad Darts experience at the G on a Saturday Arvo!