Wow Earl I am figuratively blown away. However, I think I may be literally blown away if I joined this tour. I suspect that travel insurance may be a problem unless you have already sown this up with some shady character in the back streets of Cairo or Damascus. However, if I was to perish from an incendiary device along the way, I would like to think that my first three wives would receive some meager pay out for putting up with me over the years, Also, part of my reason for suggesting Spain was that it seemed to satisfy the the indulgent and sense gratifying appetites of Demonlanders that inhabit this thread. Lets face it Earl, end of season footy trips are really about "wine, women, and song,"  And to live long enough to be able to talk about the scandals and the appalling behaviour on the trip with your mates when you return home.  Those that would want to join an end of season tour of any country are not going in order to write their memoirs or to finalize their last will and testament. I also don't think that Australian Embassy staff or Foreign Affairs would be impressed if we had to try and negotiate a release for Bitters, Biff or Picket from the hands of a terrorist or even a Midnight Express type jail in Turkey. In the middle east at the moment, the sense gratifying appetites of the people I have grown to love and hate on this thread may be difficult to satisfy. Bootlegged liquor, ISIS and hijabs don't have quite the same appeal as Sangria, Tio Pepe, Tempranillo, bull fights, tapas, flamenco and lithe dark haired olive skinned senoritas who love white skinned over weight middle age men from the New World.  I think that 2016 is not 1987 and that your suggested tour is best left in your memory. I do want to enjoy the remaining years of my life Earl, and this means indulging in a little bit of sense gratification, some quiet reflection and writing on life's hidden meanings. One of which is living long enough to see my old Demons (an integral part of my DNA and soul) rise like Lazurus up the broken and crooked ladder known as the AFL.  Earl, you are a man of great ideas, enterprise and generosity, however, I respectively suggest that your latest suggestion is not one of your better ideas. I am sure that like Milo Minderbinder you can come up with something that better satisfies the appetites of Demonlanders (Bitters appetites excluded).

1 minute ago, hemingway said:

Wow Earl I am figuratively blown away. However, I think I may be literally blown away if I joined this tour. I suspect that travel insurance may be a problem unless you have already sown this up with some shady character in the back streets of Cairo or Damascus. However, if I was to perish from an incendiary device along the way, I would like to think that my first three wives would receive some meager pay out for putting up with me over the years, Also, part of my reason for suggesting Spain was that it seemed to satisfy the the indulgent and sense gratifying appetites of Demonlanders that inhabit this thread. Lets face it Earl, end of season footy trips are really about "wine, women, and song,"  And to live long enough to be able to talk about the scandals and the appalling behaviour on the trip with your mates when you return home.  Those that would want to join an end of season tour of any country are not going in order to write their memoirs or to finalize their last will and testament. I also don't think that Australian Embassy staff or Foreign Affairs would be impressed if we had to try and negotiate a release for Bitters, Biff or Picket from the hands of a terrorist or even a Midnight Express type jail in Turkey. In the middle east at the moment, the sense gratifying appetites of the people I have grown to love and hate on this thread may be difficult to satisfy. Bootlegged liquor, ISIS and hijabs don't have quite the same appeal as Sangria, Tio Pepe, Tempranillo, bull fights, tapas, flamenco and lithe dark haired olive skinned senoritas who love white skinned over weight middle age men from the New World.  I think that 2016 is not 1987 and that your suggested tour is best left in your memory. I do want to enjoy the remaining years of my life Earl, and this means indulging in a little bit of sense gratification, some quiet reflection and writing on life's hidden meanings. One of which is living long enough to see my old Demons (an integral part of my DNA and soul) rise like Lazurus up the broken and crooked ladder known as the AFL.  Earl, you are a man of great ideas, enterprise and generosity, however, I respectively suggest that your latest suggestion is not one of your better ideas. I am sure that like Milo Minderbinder you can come up with something that better satisfies the appetites of Demonlanders (Bitters appetites excluded).

so ernest, does that mean you're signing up? 

A few years ago I went to LA and decided to take a day trip to Tijuana Mexico, after doing the tourist thing I decided to explore the back streets and was promptly arrested, handcuffed thrown against a wall and searched.   All my belonging were strewn across the footpath by some of the local constabulary and I thought "What are my rights in Mexico?   I don't think I had any.

After it was decided that I was not a drug lord I was released and promptly went to a small bar to calm down.    I then got on the bus for the return trip

By the time I got to the US boarder I was in urgent need to relieve myself, after going through customs cross legged I found the 25 cents to use the McDonald mens room.

When I came out my bus had taken off without me.   As with all times of stress I proceeded to light up a dart and was tapped on the shoulder by the biggest Afro-American policeman I have ever seen and it was pointed out to me all the no smoking signs about the place.

My bus then came back for me and proceed to take me to my hotel which was reminded me of the Bates Motel.   I went in double locked the door, ignored the screams a few doors down and drank myself to sleep.   

So I'm up for the trip Earl.

7 hours ago, hemingway said:

I suspect that travel insurance may be a problem unless you have already sown this up with some shady character in the back streets of Cairo

I have my contacts in Cairo,I can hook any Demonlanders up with what you want,drugs,hookers,you can even climb a small pyramid for the right price,USD prefered.

 

Hnmm Cairo.... Climbing Pyramids and maybe just the odd softly softly softly!!

As potential Mayor Goldy Wilson would say

Hnmm  Mayor..Like the sound of that!

9 hours ago, hemingway said:

Wow Earl I am figuratively blown away. However, I think I may be literally blown away if I joined this tour. I suspect that travel insurance may be a problem unless you have already sown this up with some shady character in the back streets of Cairo or Damascus. However, if I was to perish from an incendiary device along the way, I would like to think that my first three wives would receive some meager pay out for putting up with me over the years, Also, part of my reason for suggesting Spain was that it seemed to satisfy the the indulgent and sense gratifying appetites of Demonlanders that inhabit this thread. Lets face it Earl, end of season footy trips are really about "wine, women, and song,"  And to live long enough to be able to talk about the scandals and the appalling behaviour on the trip with your mates when you return home.  Those that would want to join an end of season tour of any country are not going in order to write their memoirs or to finalize their last will and testament. I also don't think that Australian Embassy staff or Foreign Affairs would be impressed if we had to try and negotiate a release for Bitters, Biff or Picket from the hands of a terrorist or even a Midnight Express type jail in Turkey. In the middle east at the moment, the sense gratifying appetites of the people I have grown to love and hate on this thread may be difficult to satisfy. Bootlegged liquor, ISIS and hijabs don't have quite the same appeal as Sangria, Tio Pepe, Tempranillo, bull fights, tapas, flamenco and lithe dark haired olive skinned senoritas who love white skinned over weight middle age men from the New World.  I think that 2016 is not 1987 and that your suggested tour is best left in your memory. I do want to enjoy the remaining years of my life Earl, and this means indulging in a little bit of sense gratification, some quiet reflection and writing on life's hidden meanings. One of which is living long enough to see my old Demons (an integral part of my DNA and soul) rise like Lazurus up the broken and crooked ladder known as the AFL.  Earl, you are a man of great ideas, enterprise and generosity, however, I respectively suggest that your latest suggestion is not one of your better ideas. I am sure that like Milo Minderbinder you can come up with something that better satisfies the appetites of Demonlanders (Bitters appetites excluded).

Luuurve ya work Hemingway!!

On 3 May 2016 at 10:03 PM, hemingway said:

An end of season trip ? My experience of tour groups has not been a positive one picket, mainly because of different interests and expectations. I suspect Biff and Bitters and even your good self may have some differences that would make group travel a little testing.  Also, I like to rise early in the morning so that in itself may be a problem in stirring the others from their beds or bordellos. Bitters specific peccadilloes would worry me a little. Spanish jails are not places I would recommend. Perhaps Earl may be interested in putting together a tour itinerary using his contacts to get the best deals. There are some wonderful old castles with dungeons that may appeal to some members of the party. Earl may also be useful in acquiring cheap  licquor. I am happy to act as a forward scout and that way l may be able to leave names and addresses of the more sociable senoritas and indeed those who would be sufficiently robust in the clinches for Bitters and Biff. As a forward scout it may be difficult for me to actually meet up with the touring party but that may be an advantage when the Senoritas discover that i have moved on. This would then allow members of the group to fill the void left by my rapid departure. Anyway, it's an interesting proposition as a cultural experience. Let's see what Earl and other members of the tour party think. One has to be careful not to upset other Demonlanders who may also want a guernsey. 

A point of explanation on hijabs. I love them and see them as important from a religious and most importantly cultural viewpoint. However, one has to be a little careful in ones behaviour. As a young man, I was almost shot in Turkey when I made a pass at a woman only to realise that I had mistaken the mother for the daughter. Neither mother or daughter were impressed, even less so the angry Turk that happened to be the husband and father.

8 hours ago, Bossdog said:

A few years ago I went to LA and decided to take a day trip to Tijuana Mexico, after doing the tourist thing I decided to explore the back streets and was promptly arrested, handcuffed thrown against a wall and searched.   All my belonging were strewn across the footpath by some of the local constabulary and I thought "What are my rights in Mexico?   I don't think I had any.

After it was decided that I was not a drug lord I was released and promptly went to a small bar to calm down.    I then got on the bus for the return trip

By the time I got to the US boarder I was in urgent need to relieve myself, after going through customs cross legged I found the 25 cents to use the McDonald mens room.

When I came out my bus had taken off without me.   As with all times of stress I proceeded to light up a dart and was tapped on the shoulder by the biggest Afro-American policeman I have ever seen and it was pointed out to me all the no smoking signs about the place.

My bus then came back for me and proceed to take me to my hotel which was reminded me of the Bates Motel.   I went in double locked the door, ignored the screams a few doors down and drank myself to sleep.   

So I'm up for the trip Earl.

Welcome aboard Bossdog for our big adventure, unfortunately I am sensing some reticence from other DLanders. I am surprised at the lack of risk takers amongst us all. 

This might mean we will struggle for numbers. I need a minimum tour group to cover the cost of the conversion of the armoured personnel carrier that will carry up to 12 Dlanders in comfort and safety across the Middle East and then there is the added costs of the armoured tank and support convoy. And I have negotiated the absolute lowest bargain prices for air cover from the Russian airforce to ensure our safety across the Syrian leg of our epic journey. I will be in touch.

3 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Welcome aboard Bossdog for our big adventure, unfortunately I am sensing some reticence from other DLanders. I am surprised at the lack of risk takers amongst us all. 

This might mean we will struggle for numbers. I need a minimum tour group to cover the cost of the conversion of the armoured personnel carrier that will carry up to 12 Dlanders in comfort and safety across the Middle East and then there is the added costs of the armoured tank and support convoy. And I have negotiated the absolute lowest bargain prices for air cover from the Russian airforce to ensure our safety across the Syrian leg of our epic journey. I will be in touch.

Earl, given the logistical, political, and terrorist problems, let alone the lack of replenishment and entertainment along the way, I fear that even your resourcefulness will be fully tested. I assume that you have contacts on all sides including friends amongst the hill and desert tribes. My main concern is that there are potential enemies on all sides including coalition forces. I assume that our own intelligence forces are monitoring this thread and will have tipped off  other agencies including the CIA. I strongly recommend that your default position is a tour of Spain. I am sure that you will have no trouble filling spots on a tour of libidiness Spain. Of course no wives or girlfriends allowed which unfortunately might mean that Old Dee will miss given the strict rule of Mrs OD. 

4 minutes ago, hemingway said:

Earl, given the logistical, political, and terrorist problems, let alone the lack of replenishment and entertainment along the way, I fear that even your resourcefulness will be fully tested. I assume that you have contacts on all sides including friends amongst the hill and desert tribes. My main concern is that there are potential enemies on all sides including coalition forces. I assume that our own intelligence forces are monitoring this thread and will have tipped off  other agencies including the CIA. I strongly recommend that your default position is a tour of Spain. I am sure that you will have no trouble filling spots on a tour of libidiness Spain. Of course no wives or girlfriends allowed which unfortunately might mean that Old Dee will miss given the strict rule of Mrs OD. 

Ernest I have always considered you to a man of vision and wisdom and I see nothing in the above to change that opinion.

so who wins Saturday?

 

24 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Welcome aboard Bossdog for our big adventure, unfortunately I am sensing some reticence from other DLanders. I am surprised at the lack of risk takers amongst us all. 

This might mean we will struggle for numbers. I need a minimum tour group to cover the cost of the conversion of the armoured personnel carrier that will carry up to 12 Dlanders in comfort and safety across the Middle East and then there is the added costs of the armoured tank and support convoy. And I have negotiated the absolute lowest bargain prices for air cover from the Russian airforce to ensure our safety across the Syrian leg of our epic journey. I will be in touch.

Earl, you are truly a 21st century Knight Templar, sworn to protect pilgrims in and around the Middle East whilst looking for a chance to make a quick buck or six. Don't forget the sideline in guava paste and Cuban cigars. I think I will pass on the offer, but will be a keen viewer of the relevant Youtube channel (before it gets syndicated on Stan or something). 

29 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Welcome aboard Bossdog for our big adventure, unfortunately I am sensing some reticence from other DLanders. I am surprised at the lack of risk takers amongst us all. 

This might mean we will struggle for numbers. I need a minimum tour group to cover the cost of the conversion of the armoured personnel carrier that will carry up to 12 Dlanders in comfort and safety across the Middle East and then there is the added costs of the armoured tank and support convoy. And I have negotiated the absolute lowest bargain prices for air cover from the Russian airforce to ensure our safety across the Syrian leg of our epic journey. I will be in touch.

for tax deduction purposes i suggest you call it a 457 reconnaissance and refugee evaluation trip. we might even get a grant if bill shortcomings is triumphant. and i presume conchita mkx will also be coming along to provide er maidenly services? my expertise on egyptology and graeco-roman settlements in turkey should come in handy.

Edited May 5, 20169 yr by daisycutter

May I humbly suggest gentlemen that the Channel 9 60 minutes team so recently prominent in Lebanon be engaged as backup. Just in case a geriatric recovery snatch is required.

On 5 May 2016 at 11:22 PM, Tilbrooktorpedo said:

May I humbly suggest gentlemen that the Channel 9 60 minutes team so recently prominent in Lebanon be engaged as backup. Just in case a geriatric recovery snatch is required.

"Are there any (old) women here today?" said the Roman/Jewish character played by John Cleese, reading out the sentence at the stoning. 

8 hours ago, bjDee said:

"Are there any (old) women here today?" said the Roman / Jewish character played by John Cleese, reading out the sentence at the stoning. 

which reminds me. we should make sure we take a good supply of aussie yonnies with us

and now for something completely different......http://videosift.com/video/British-Reporter-Loses-His-[censored]-And-Reports-The-NEWS

very funny......and yeah, i know it was a setup....nevertheless...

1 hour ago, daisycutter said:

and now for something completely different......http://videosift.com/video/British-Reporter-Loses-His-[censored]-And-Reports-The-NEWS

very funny......and yeah, i know it was a setup....nevertheless...

Mr Walker is very funny

12 hours ago, old dee said:

Ernest I have always considered you to a man of vision and wisdom and I see nothing in the above to change that opinion.

so who wins Saturday?

 

And I have always considered you to be a person of utmost decency and consideration OD. As far as footy picks, you can go for careful analytical consideration, hunch or plain guesswork. I go for the latter plus a dash of bitters (hope). That being the case I go for the Dees in a close one. If i go for careful analytical consideration, I see our glaring weaknesses helpfully pointed out by many demonlanders and i start to get very nervous. So I guess you can say heart over head which is probably appropriate because footy is all about passion.

Have a great trip to SEA with Mrs O. I never asked but is she a Demon? 

4 hours ago, daisycutter said:

and now for something completely different......http://videosift.com/video/British-Reporter-Loses-His-[censored]-And-Reports-The-NEWS

very funny......and yeah, i know it was a setup....nevertheless...

I like the angry punch in the air as he walks away!

3 hours ago, hemingway said:

And I have always considered you to be a person of utmost decency and consideration OD. As far as footy picks, you can go for careful analytical consideration, hunch or plain guesswork. I go for the latter plus a dash of bitters (hope). That being the case I go for the Dees in a close one. If i go for careful analytical consideration, I see our glaring weaknesses helpfully pointed out by many demonlanders and i start to get very nervous. So I guess you can say heart over head which is probably appropriate because footy is all about passion.

Have a great trip to SEA with Mrs O. I never asked but is she a Demon? 

Thank you Ernest and sadly no,  now wait your it.

 

She is a Pie!

Just now, old dee said:

Thank you Ernest and sadly no,  now wait your it.

 

She is a Pie!

Understand completely, so is my beloved current wife. Surprisingly, she is someone of beauty, intelligence, virtue and morals, unless of course the Pie's are playing and her normal self evaporates and she transforms into a rabid one eyed Pie. 

If you gents really want a walk on the wild side, I hear Mexico and Columbia are good places to go. Great coffee in Columbia and amazing cuisine in Mexico. Beware of overly friendly locals who want to offer you a lift somewhere or give you gifts to take home to remember your trip by.

Come to think of it, the phrase 'walk on the wild side' perfectly describes our Uncle Bitter!

GC clearly not at their strongest, though we aren't either. We need to win this game, if we are going to gain some momentum.

A while since I've looked in on this thread. How on EARTH did it become a FOOTBALL thread - AND in real time!?

Aghast I am!

...And by the way, are its regulars jockeying to become the 20,000th poster, shuffling in the queue to win the choccies?

And will it be on the nice round 800th page?

Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen (and posters)