More and more Fev trouble

[Sir Why You Little 36,596]

WYL I have a little experience in these matters, not my own but close friends / relatives

They have to do it themselves and that rarely happens until they reach the bottom.

i.e. they understand they are at the bottom and even then for some people never.

From my observation Fev is not at the bottom and in Fev's eyes he thinks he has a problem that he can control.

This is obviously not the case.

Unfortunately the bottom for him is probably in the gutter dead broke with nowhere to live and no friends.

A lot of the experts will tell you that this is the only way some people can recover.

I have expressed some compassion for him in the recent past

However it now appears the best for him is to cut him loose.

When the pay out from Brisbane is gone and he has burnt everyone then there is a chance.

At this point IMO Casey should cut him loose!

Sad but I think True.

Totally agree Mate, you are right. I am just hoping someone grabs him before he sits in the Gutter.

At the Moment he can still make money. The media are still hungry. But those contacts will dry up in about 12 months. There is still a book to be ghost written-then it will dry.

Then it is one way. I mean who would employ him sadly.

Commentating Footy/special comments is about all i could see as an opportunity, and that is thin.

He is so unfit right now, and is delusional toward it,

It saddens me too because i have seen it.

I realized how bad he was when he cut ties with his management-Now he is free to roam.

[binman 41,940]

Jim Stynes may have had a dual objective when he offered Fev a job as a counsellor.

Jimmy did no such thing, on the contrary he made it clear that Fev should work himself out and gain an understanding of cause and effect. Until he does develop some basic insight Jimmy won't let him any where near any vulnerable young people

[dee-luded 2,959]

DL if Fev had any Dignity and REALLY wanted to get better he would stay away from PUBLIC Casinos.

You say he is wounded by the Media attention....Nope. Deep done he loves it...It is all he has got.

Take Footy for example, he wants to play in front of the cameras, not for the Magoos. That tells me a lot.

Aker thrives on Media-but he is also a disciplined elite athlete who has done it all.

I don't think you understand what I said.

I agree, he needs the attention. That seems to be part of his illness. he seems addicted to it also.. Poss an 'addictive' type of personality. Thats why he becomes a 'media mole'. Taking any [censored] they throew at him. Because, for a needy person, any attention is better than none.

He needs public adulation, like a drug, to feed his poor self esteem. Many public figures suffer this. IMO, this is where the 'imbalance' in his makeup,,, is.

He doesn't feel 'Worthy'. Unless he's being 'cheered'. excitement junkie.... > see (can't relax) Plays Pokies, etc,,, anything to "switch off", from underlying, (subconscious) anxieties.

Aker is a much more centred, composed, figure, who likes to start fires. Thats not Fev. He's to kind for that. And thats why he's so, defensive, and denying, about where he;'s at. He's as scared as possible, it's dangerous.

*If he walks away,,, don't harass him! Remenber Robbie Muir & Dennis Collins.

The way to get through to Fev is with a, Sympathetic/Empathetic councellor,, to take the time to earn his trust, Firstly.

All this Media criticism is just driving him deeper into a defensive, 'flight type', mood. It's horrible.

I just wish people could somehow comprehend, at this emotional level. But I'm learning that many cannot think about this stuff. It's to close to uncomfortable. And thats where Fev is at too. Thats why he's running as fast as he can

[dee-luded 2,959]

WYL I have a little experience in these matters, not my own but close friends / relatives

They have to do it themselves and that rarely happens until they reach the bottom.

i.e. they understand they are at the bottom and even then for some people never.

From my observation Fev is not at the bottom and in Fev's eyes he thinks he has a problem that he can control.

This is obviously not the case.

Unfortunately the bottom for him is probably in the gutter dead broke with nowhere to live and no friends.

A lot of the experts will tell you that this is the only way some people can recover.

I have expressed some compassion for him in the recent past

However it now appears the best for him is to cut him loose.

When the pay out from Brisbane is gone and he has burnt everyone then there is a chance.

At this point IMO Casey should cut him loose!

Sad but I think True.

The bottom is relative to how strong and resilient they are. IMO, the more resilient they are, the more they'll resist the reality. Fev is a tough combatent. Denial is his coping mechanism, just like nearly all of us in many ways. We are all in denial to some extent. It's how we get by.

[Sir Why You Little 36,596]

I don't think you understand what I said.

I agree, he needs the attention. That seems to be part of his illness. he seems addicted to it also.. Poss an 'addictive' type of personality. Thats why he becomes a 'media mole'. Taking any [censored] they throew at him. Because, for a needy person, any attention is better than none.

He needs public adulation, like a drug, to feed his poor self esteem. Many public figures suffer this. IMO, this is where the 'imbalance' in his makeup,,, is.

He doesn't feel 'Worthy'. Unless he's being 'cheered'. excitement junkie.... > see (can't relax) Plays Pokies, etc,,, anything to "switch off", from underlying, (subconscious) anxieties.

Aker is a much more centred, composed, figure, who likes to start fires. Thats not Fev. He's to kind for that. And thats why he's so, defensive, and denying, about where he;'s at. He's as scared as possible, it's dangerous.

*If he walks away,,, don't harass him! Remenber Robbie Muir & Dennis Collins.

The way to get through to Fev is with a, Sympathetic/Empathetic councellor,, to take the time to earn his trust, Firstly.

All this Media criticism is just driving him deeper into a defensive, 'flight type', mood. It's horrible.

I just wish people could somehow comprehend, at this emotional level. But I'm learning that many cannot think about this stuff. It's to close to uncomfortable. And thats where Fev is at too. Thats why he's running as fast as he can

I do agree with some of what you say, although i think you are being a little soft on him-He is not that naive.

But whatever is the outcome 1. It is far from over 2. It will not end nicely-(They never do) Fev will only seek help when all his bridges are burnt.

Hopefully his money can be put in a trust fund for his children.

Edited March 29, 2011 by why you little

[Guest Rojik of the Arctic]

DL if Fev had any Dignity and REALLY wanted to get better he would stay away from PUBLIC Casinos.

I don't think you understand the nature of addiction. If he could just walk away from them he wouldn't be addicted. He is a sick man who doesn't realise how sick he is and the only way he will is when he loses something he can't afford to lose. What that is only time will tell but he hasn't lost it yet.

[Sir Why You Little 36,596]

I don't think you understand the nature of addiction. If he could just walk away from them he wouldn't be addicted. He is a sick man who doesn't realise how sick he is and the only way he will is when he loses something he can't afford to lose. What that is only time will tell but he hasn't lost it yet.

I understand alright. He could lose it all online gambling too, But Fev does like the cameras to be not too far away.

[dee-luded 2,959]

I do agree with some of what you say, although i think you are being a little soft on him-He is not that naive.

But whatever is the outcome 1. It is far from over 2. It will not end nicely-(They never do) Fev will only seek help when all his bridges are burnt.

Hopefully his money can be put in a trust fund for his children.

He is indeed. and he wouldn't think of himself as Naive either. But denial is a wonderful tool to betray us all. It keeps us going in an insensative materialistic world.

It covers our insecurities beautifully. and stops us from maturing. we all have a strong dose of it, to different degrees, and in differnet areas of our Pshyche. We place it where it serves us most. Like a patch on a leaking inner tube.

[dee-luded 2,959]

I understand alright. He could lose it all online gambling too, But Fev does like the cameras to be not too far away.

I think losing his money is the Least of his worries.

But he really is a big teady bear.

If he loses his sense of worth,,, to be able to contribute in some constructive way,,, then it could be a mess.

He is Not in ANY Way,,, a vindictive person, that I have seen or heard. That is a massive plus. But that could be something he loses, out of all this if we, (the public) don't give him some support.

Just a big loving person, who's getting publicaly bashed. And his dignity is suffering.

[Sir Why You Little 36,596]

He is indeed. and he wouldn't think of himself as Naive either. But denial is a wonderful tool to betray us all. It keeps us going in an insensative materialistic world.

It covers our insecurities beautifully. and stops us from maturing. we all have a strong dose of it, to different degrees, and in differnet areas of our Pshyche. We place it where it serves us most. Like a patch on a leaking inner tube.

Maybe that explains why Filth supporters are such a strange Mob? It's Denial, i knew it!!

[dee-luded 2,959]

Maybe that explains why Filth supporters are such a strange Mob? It's Denial, i knew it!!

HaHaHaHa, beautiful Aussie humour, gotta luv it. those bloody undersized crows.

[Sir Why You Little 36,596]

HaHaHaHa, beautiful Aussie humour, gotta luv it. those bloody undersized crows.

HaHaHa! Undersized Crow-That's Gold.

That deserves a banner on QB

[caddypgt 30]

Just a big loving person, who's getting publicaly bashed. And his dignity is suffering.

And yet he does nothing to help himself. In fact, as an earlier poster suggested, serves only to pour more ridicule upon himself by 'hiding' his habit in plain daylight where people are only too quick to fuel the media fire.

We get it Fev, you are a gambling addict. Is it your agenda to play this line to hide your vanity and narcissistic penchant for playing the media tart?

There comes a point where the empathy dissipates. For me, that was long ago.

The value of 'any news is good news' being a jolt for the celebrity public relations circus also dissipates after a while.

[emubitter 0]

It's a bit of a worry, where he's at, at the moment.

I had the opportunity to witness some personal conversation with brendon recently, about himself. The tone from Brendon, was very defensive, Not attacking, but very defensively protective of his Ego.

He, to me looks like he's being very 'Wounded', by all this media degradation he's copping. (how could they do it to a mate) type thing. He looks bewildered and turning inward & insular, rather than seeking & accepting help & well wishes from peoples generosity. He's bundling it all, the good, &, the bad,,, all in the same basket.

He's trying to turn it off.

Gambling and drinking are 2 key ways for a person in denial, to try to remain in their escapism world.

He's not quite ready to accept things, but the crunch, is close by. I fear he'll have to 'Fall' further before he's ready to want help.

The tougher and more resilient the person,,, the harder it is to get through to them,, they just Keep on being in the denial game. Instead of just breaking down and surrendering to it, and then welcoming change.

He's a hard case 'cause he's not a follower. He runs his own race.

Were lucky he's essentially a 'good person',, or he could be a monster.

good post, i think we need to kmow more about his mum

[Roost It 1,434]

He's in serious trouble

[dee-luded 2,959]

And yet he does nothing to help himself. In fact, as an earlier poster suggested, serves only to pour more ridicule upon himself by 'hiding' his habit in plain daylight where people are only too quick to fuel the media fire.

We get it Fev, you are a gambling addict. Is it your agenda to play this line to hide your vanity and narcissistic penchant for playing the media tart?

There comes a point where the empathy dissipates. For me, that was long ago.

The value of 'any news is good news' being a jolt for the celebrity public relations circus also dissipates after a while.

IMO the guy is spinning inside, he doesn't know where he is, or what to do. I reckon he can see his life crashing around him, and as he hasn't really hurt anyone, (not counting emotionally) he's bewildered.

Thats naiveity, or denial, whatever. He just doesn't understand, and wonders why the world is out to get him. Thats close to how I read him.

But then I'm not out to "get" wellmeaning people. So I have no axe to grind with him. I don't find his type at all threatening. He's a bit disarming. A basic and harmless lad. Atmo, as long as he doesn't become vindictive and malicious.

[dee-luded 2,959]

good post, i think we need to kmow more about his mum

I'd like to know more about his dad, and his other male family peers.

Edited March 29, 2011 by dee-luded

[Whispering_Jack 29,172]

I'd like to know if Fevola turned up at Casey training tonight.

[Bonkers 987]

I think losing his money is the Least of his worries.

But he really is a big teady bear.

If he loses his sense of worth,,, to be able to contribute in some constructive way,,, then it could be a mess.

He is Not in ANY Way,,, a vindictive person, that I have seen or heard. That is a massive plus. But that could be something he loses, out of all this if we, (the public) don't give him some support.

Just a big loving person, who's getting publicaly bashed. And his dignity is suffering.

You make comment on Fevola like you actually know the bloke. Are you aware of the sexual assault that was reported whilst he was drunk at crown, in the incident which lead to his sacking at Carlton? That is just one of many incidents. Your defense of his behavior is pretty ill informed if you ask me. He's had plenty of chances to take responsibility for his actions, however continues to hurt people around him that care for him. Don't really like to judge people but he seems like an A grade Charlie to me.

[dee-luded 2,959]

You make comment on Fevola like you actually know the bloke. Are you aware of the sexual assault that was reported whilst he was drunk at crown, in the incident which lead to his sacking at Carlton? That is just one of many incidents. Your defense of his behavior is pretty ill informed if you ask me. He's had plenty of chances to take responsibility for his actions, however continues to hurt people around him that care for him. Don't really like to judge people but he seems like an A grade Charlie to me.

People who are ill with personal issues, and mixed with alcohol or other substances often make serious mistakes when under the effects. This doesn't mean it's not out of character. I've been through my moments when I wasn't myself.

No doubt he made some rather bad mistakes in that short period around that Brownlow time.

You do know he's been taking medocation for ADD etc? You don't click your fingers and that stuff magically appears. He must have gone to the doctor with his concerns about himself.

The problem is now, how can he seek pro help, in private, when being hounded by madia & people trying to chop him down.

[Bonkers 987]

People who are ill with personal issues, and mixed with alcohol or other substances often make serious mistakes when under the effects. This doesn't mean it's not out of character. I've been through my moments when I wasn't myself.

No doubt he made some rather bad mistakes in that short period around that Brownlow time.

You do know he's been taking medocation for ADD etc? You don't click your fingers and that stuff magically appears. He must have gone to the doctor with his concerns about himself.

The problem is now, how can he seek pro help, in private, when being hounded by madia & people trying to chop him down.

He has been acting the same way since even before he was drafted, you can't blame everything on medication & personal issues. No one is trying to chop him down, he's doing a perfect job of that on his own.

[old55 22,773]

People who are ill with personal issues, and mixed with alcohol or other substances often make serious mistakes when under the effects. This doesn't mean it's not out of character. I've been through my moments when I wasn't myself.

No doubt he made some rather bad mistakes in that short period around that Brownlow time.

You do know he's been taking medocation for ADD etc? You don't click your fingers and that stuff magically appears. He must have gone to the doctor with his concerns about himself.

The problem is now, how can he seek pro help, in private, when being hounded by madia & people trying to chop him down.

You're his mum!

[hoopla 418]

He has been acting the same way since even before he was drafted, you can't blame everything on medication & personal issues. No one is trying to chop him down, he's doing a perfect job of that on his own.

Don't care how it happens - or whose fault it is - I just want him to go Tassie or Frankston.

He's a distraction the people at Casey - who have a role to play in the development of our players- can do without!!

[Rhino Richards 1,467]

You make comment on Fevola like you actually know the bloke. Are you aware of the sexual assault that was reported whilst he was drunk at crown, in the incident which lead to his sacking at Carlton? That is just one of many incidents. Your defense of his behavior is pretty ill informed if you ask me. He's had plenty of chances to take responsibility for his actions, however continues to hurt people around him that care for him.

Agree. He hounds the media and gives them fodder to print. He was the one who negotiated to go on the Footy Show. He is soely responsibility

People who are ill with personal issues, and mixed with alcohol or other substances often make serious mistakes when under the effects. This doesn't mean it's not out of character. I've been through my moments when I wasn't myself.

No doubt he made some rather bad mistakes in that short period around that Brownlow time.

You do know he's been taking medocation for ADD etc? You don't click your fingers and that stuff magically appears. He must have gone to the doctor with his concerns about himself.

The problem is now, how can he seek pro help, in private, when being hounded by madia & people trying to chop him down.

Your agony aunt insights only highlight how uninformed you are on this. Its getting worse.

[jayceebee31 697]

I don't think you understand the nature of addiction. If he could just walk away from them he wouldn't be addicted. He is a sick man who doesn't realise how sick he is and the only way he will is when he loses something he can't afford to lose. What that is only time will tell but he hasn't lost it yet.

Correct weight- a very ill man whom needs great assistance around him.