MATCH REVIEW v KANGAROOS

[Demonland 65,844]

KANGAROOS COP KEYSTONE by Whispering Jack

The bloke who came to the game with me stood up suddenly and said,

"That's it. I've had enough. I'm out of here," and with that he was gone ...

This was an unusual event because, in all of the years that we've been going to the footy, he's usually stayed, even to the bitter end when we were getting a flogging in the wind and the rain at some of the old inhospitable suburban locations where they used to play the game at its highest level. More unusual was the fact that we were ten minutes away from half time. The score line that showed Melbourne trailing by 45 points (1.2.8 to 7.11.53) wasn't pretty but it was still only a little over an hour ago that he'd purchased an all day return ticket to Richmond Station when he could have bought the cheaper two hour version. Something had to be wrong.

I have to admit that it came as a relief later in the day on discovering that there were no reports on the 5 o'clock news bulletin of any water police dredging the Yarra for bodies under the Bolte Bridge.

And so it is that life goes on!

Life went on for the Melbourne Football Club yesterday, although, in truth, life was barely hanging on by the knuckles. For the first fifty or so minutes of the game it was extremely difficult to detect a pulse as the season from hell continued. And if there is little heartbeat or pulse in the grand old flag these days, there's also very little soul.

The first quarter resembled a badly scripted scene from an old Keystone Cops feature. I could never quite get my head around how it was possible for those cops to bungle everything they attempted so Mack Sennett's silent film comedies always lacked an air of credibility until I was a witness to yesterday's opening quarter. I should add that the bungling wasn't confined to the Demons and the Kangaroos contributed to the antics with some poor football of their own kicking 0.7 in the first 20 or so minutes. Most teams worth their salt would take advantage of such a poor early return but the Demons weren't up to it because they were busily going on their merry way making skill errors and decision errors of their own like handpassing direct to opponents or at the feet of teammates or kicking to one on none contests where the "one" was wearing blue and white.

The umpires were also equal to the task managing to destroy the game with a constant barrage of pathetic decision making that virtually started with the first bounce and later in the opening term handed North three of its first four goals on a platter. They didn't get better as the afternoon wore on either as they creatively invented new rules on the run that rewarded North Melbourne players for tripping over themselves and for taking dives and they were still bungling at the end of the game but I promised myself I wouldn't complain about the maggots this year, so I'll just shut up!

But the real villains of the piece were the blokes wearing red and blue and the ones directing the play in the coach's box. I understand fully that they are being taught a new style of game (paradoxically described as a "game plan") but its execution was truly miserable. The only thing missing was the silly vaudeville music in the background to accompany the mistakes and muck-ups that were coming with such regularity that fans were loathe to cup their heads in their hands in despair for fear of missing another clanger.

This more or less went on until I was left by myself late in the second quarter. During that time, there were a few triers who worked hard at limiting the mistakes. Brad Green was one of the few who showed some leadership which is another of those funny paradoxes since he's one of the few elders not in the leadership group. Aaron Davey, Paul Wheatley and Jeff White (the victim of an apparent new rule that penalises ruckmen holding the front position in ruck contests) tried and there was promise shown by Colin Sylvia, Lynden Dunn and the real "youngies" in Cale Morton and Austin Wonaeamirri. The latter two continue to improve and showed that the young are often better placed to learn new things. They represent where the club should be putting its faith for the rest of the year.

The Keystone Cops never left the stage entirely but there was a marked improvement as the game went on and particularly in the final term when Melbourne kicked six goals and won its first quarter for the season. I don't know whether the instructions changed at the final huddle but they lost some of their hesitation and actually started running through the lines. There was more movement further afield when our players had the ball in their hands. Suddenly, they actually found targets to direct their kicks at and – voila – the result was measured in terms of goals and not sheer and utter despair for the supporters. Unfortunately, this came much too late in the day and the Demons lacked the leadership necessary to enable the mounting of the sort of counter-offensive the Brisbane Lions were able to provide that evening against Port Adelaide.

I've been saying since before the season started that the club's leadership group is problematic. After witnessing yesterday's events, I have to add that it's much more than that – it's a debacle and some tough decisions will have to be made in this area in the near future. Those tough decisions will inevitably lead to more Melbourne-bashing in the media and in other quarters but all of the answers for the club now lie in it's youth which makes those decisions tougher but even more necessary.

North Melbourne 4.8.32 8.11.59 13.15.83 18.19.127

Melbourne 1.0.6 3.6.24 5.10.40 11.13.79

Goals

North Melbourne N Thompson 5 Edwards Thomas 3 Campbell Jones 2 Grant Harvey Je Smith

Melbourne Robertson 3 Wonaeamirri 2 Davey Dunn Jamar McLean Wheatley White

Best

North Melbourne Harvey Wells Rawlings N.Thompson Edwards Power Campbell Firrito

Melbourne Davey Green Wheatley Sylvia Morton Miller

Injuries

North Melbourne Gibson (knee)

Melbourne Nil

Changes

North Melbourne Nil

Melbourne Nil

Reports

North Melbourne Nil

Melbourne Miller (charging)

Umpires Farmer Armstrong McInerney

Crowd 23,427 at the MCG

[Sydney Pennski 270]

KANGAROOS COP KEYSTONE by Whispering Jack

The bloke who came to the game with me stood up suddenly and said,

"That's it. I've had enough. I'm out of here," and with that he was gone ...

Crowd 23,427 at the MCG

Your mate's early departure and that attendance figure bodes ill for the club's future.

I heard James Brayshaw say they needed a crowd of 30k to break even at the G. This was their home game so it was they who lost out big time. However, we have a home game coming up soon against Freo which I can see breaking at least a 21st century low attendance record based on how the team's performing ATM.

That can join our record of player rotations as the crowning achievements of our 150th anniversary.

[leucopogon 1,468]

I'm getting so sick and tired of all this talk about break-even figures playing at the G. Why on God's green earth doesn't the AFL do something about this?

This situation is like the music or film industry where major studios/labels produce say 16 films/albums a year, 95% of which will lose money. Luckily for them, its the 5% of output that makes bucketloads of cash allowing the company to cover the losses of all other endeavours and post a healthy profit year after year.

By getting crap teams to play at the G, its like flushing money down the toilet these days. I know its our traditional home ground and everything, but the AFL needs to wise up and either just come out and say they'll bankroll whatever shortfall comes about as a result of the crap teams like us, North and Richmond not reaching the break-even figures at the G every season, or bite the bullet and play some of these games at smaller grounds with less overheads.

AFL is a business these days, not a sport. So why don't they admit it and start managing it like one? What would the overheads of playing AFL at a smaller suburban ground like Princes Park, Whitten oval or Windy Hill (assuming they were brought up to AFL standard) be like compared to the MCG?

I'm reminded of the music documentary DIG where a record label exec admits that most bands who are signed never succeed but nearly every single one of them could make money and do well if they were promoted according to their market and not all assumed to be the next pop megaband. In other words, don't shoot a music video for half a million dollars for a band that's anti-establishment, let them make money through well promoted tours and album sales.

Rant over, I know I'll cop some flack for this too.

[Pinball Wizard 272]

The statistics for the weekend of free kicks recived in the forward are interesting. North Melbourne received 10 - double that of the next team. I would suggest that indicates the sloppiness of our playing in moving the ball out of defence. Opposition coaches know the way we play and capitalise on our poor disposal and decision making:

North Melbourne 10

Geelong 5

Sydney 5

Adelaide 4

St. Kilda 4

Essendon 3

Fremantle 3

West Coast 3

Brisbane 2

Carlton 2

Melbourne 2

Port Adelaide 2

Richmond 2

Collingwood 1

Western Bulldogs 1

Hawthorn 0

[Rampaging Demons 1]

next week i am expecting benny hill music to be played and melbourne players to be chased by scantily clad women!!

honestly, i sat there on saturday and had to laugh...

1. chris johnson taking the advantage rule and then kicking it straight to a kangaroo player

2. russell robertson's lack of effort and enthusiasm.. becoming known as the king of junk time... also, will he ever stand his feet?

3. daniel bell stolling out of defence with no talk or awareness to be run down

4. short kick ins directly to opponents, with no demons around

5. brady rawlings cheating - without doubt the worst dual best and fairest winner

6. reading the paper and the hitout statistics

[Rhino Richards 1,467]

Your mate's early departure and that attendance figure bodes ill for the club's future.

I heard James Brayshaw say they needed a crowd of 30k to break even at the G. This was their home game so it was they who lost out big time. However, we have a home game coming up soon against Freo which I can see breaking at least a 21st century low attendance record based on how the team's performing ATM.

That can join our record of player rotations as the crowning achievements of our 150th anniversary.

I think its more a concern for North Melbourne. It was their home game.

A successful, competitive team with good range of higher profile stars and the Club is in a last ditch survival mode.

I reckon about 60% of the 23,000 crowd was North Melbourne. Thats at most 13,000 to 14,000 patrons. But they have 30,000 members

How many of those bleeding heart sign ups will be sustainable next year?

I can't believe so many have been sucked in by the hoopla at North. They are stuffed in Melbourne and have missed the boat.

From an MFC perspective, the lack of attendance does not shock given the fuchsia like performances of our players. It a case of same same attendance wise for MFC and only highlights the big job in front of McNamee and Co. to lift membership rates but more importantly sponsorship where the real dollars are for the Club's bottom line.

[deanox 8,701]

in all honesty i thought we got crucified in this dept on sat. these figures include players getting frees for 'trips' when they fall over by themselves, among other soft frees. neitz and robbo didnt get any frees for hands in the back. we got nothing up forward and were almost 'free kicked' out of the game in the first half, not by weight of numbers, but by where the frees were paid.

[The Emblem 1]

Interesting post earlier about our leadership group.

Maybe "leading teams" has a small spelling mistake in it...swap the "M" for an "R".

[Bring-Back-Powell 13,321]

Goals

Melbourne Robertson 3 Wonaeamirri 2 Davey Dunn Jamar McLean Wheatley White

[

Good effort from someone who had 0 kicks and 8 handballs.

I honestly can't remember him kicking the ball once??

Plus I think Davey kicked 2 goals.

[Choko 493]

The thing I would specifically add to the game summary was Brad Miller's pathetic change into the back of an opponent. It is totally soft and dangerous to canon into the back of a player, and the other thing is, it was so obvious he would do it, always going to be 50 metres, and was pisspoor from a bloke in the leadership group.

[Rampaging Demons 1]

did not think that miller did anything wrong... was in the air at the time!!

also, daniel pratt as has been seen in previous weeks, will lie down at the merest of touches!!! hardly a hard man.....

the bloke was in the space, so miller did the right thing!!

[Homer J 0]

watched the game live on tv from half way thru the second qtr. It is clear the side lacks big mobile bodies down the spine and blokes like bell & carroll are continually asked to do jobs out of their league, bell would be a star half back and carroll on 3rd fwd would be steady as always if thats all they had to do. I still dunno why fergie @6'5" isnt there @chb. The big german is gone, how do you drop the skipper?? maybe a virus, and robbo??, newton is a girl. I would bring meeson & bate in up forward, play miller at full fwd??. dunno if there are any talls at sandy to go into the backline apart from holland , warnock, frawley (dud). on the bright side morton, aussie will be good andif the likes of mclean, jones & sylvia start to get it in the middle you never know, i hate mcdonald he has no skill and is a worse kick than todd viney, valenti would be equal value to him and would get it more often. i do however have faith in the coach he looks like a mans man so after round 6 we'll see what happens, hopefully by Queens bday theyll be cherry ripe to beat the filth

[Guest MFC4Life]

watched the game live on tv from half way thru the second qtr. It is clear the side lacks big mobile bodies down the spine and blokes like bell & carroll are continually asked to do jobs out of their league, bell would be a star half back and carroll on 3rd fwd would be steady as always if thats all they had to do. I still dunno why fergie @6'5" isnt there @chb. The big german is gone, how do you drop the skipper?? maybe a virus, and robbo??, newton is a girl. I would bring meeson & bate in up forward, play miller at full fwd??. dunno if there are any talls at sandy to go into the backline apart from holland , warnock, frawley (dud). on the bright side morton, aussie will be good andif the likes of mclean, jones & sylvia start to get it in the middle you never know, i hate mcdonald he has no skill and is a worse kick than todd viney, valenti would be equal value to him and would get it more often. i do however have faith in the coach he looks like a mans man so after round 6 we'll see what happens, hopefully by Queens bday theyll be cherry ripe to beat the filth

I agree with you that we lack big bodies. I don't know if anyone went to the Collingwood Carlton game on Sunday but there were about 15 Melbourne players standing outside gate 2 at the MCC at around 1.30pm talking to Peter Heliar. It is unbelievable how small and skinny they are, even Neitz! Peter Helliar is tallenr than Austin Wominaerri and I thought Helliar was tiny!

These guys bounced off blokes like Shannon Watt and Micheal Firrito like a pinball!

[Dreamin' Demon 10]

We need skills

[Demon Rob 2]

By getting crap teams to play at the G, its like flushing money down the toilet these days. I know its our traditional home ground and everything, but the AFL needs to wise up and either just come out and say they'll bankroll whatever shortfall comes about as a result of the crap teams like us, North and Richmond not reaching the break-even figures at the G every season, or bite the bullet and play some of these games at smaller grounds with less overheads.

......

I believe we are going to playing games at Punt Rd soon

Just had a thought - is next weekend the end of the comedy festival? Celebrated by the Melbourne Carlton game.

[Jaded No More 58,505]

Good effort from someone who had 0 kicks and 8 handballs.

I honestly can't remember him kicking the ball once??

Plus I think Davey kicked 2 goals.

I think Davey kicked the goal after Jamar took the mark and got hit by the North Melbourne player.

I'm sure advantage was payed and Davey went on to kick that goal.

[Guest lambtotheslaughter]

I went to Hobart last weekend as we were supposed to be in Queensland

I couldn't get onto cat park

I went golfing the week before because the season started a bit earlier than usual (I think)

I went to the first game and saw a portent of the future

On the way back from Tassie this evening I noticed the top three on the ladder, all undefeated and looking bloody good

Hawthorn

Geelong

Footscray

I know it's a straw but i'm clinging to it

From now and for the rest of the year I will not be like our current twenty two

I WILL BE TURNING UP TO EVERY GAME

[Bring-Back-Powell 13,321]

i hate mcdonald he has no skill

Harsh on someone who has won our past 2 B&F's

But I agree that he's not exactly generating too much excitement at the moment.

[Kit Walker 207]

Harsh on someone who has won our past 2 B&F's

But I agree that he's not exactly generating too much excitement at the moment.

Was I wrong? Was McDonald not tagging Simpson last weekend?

[The Emblem 1]

Travis...you hate the guy whose tackle count at the club is nearly double that of the next player?