don't [censored] on me and tell me its raining

Down my back...

"He hit an air pocket" (choke, clear throat, cough, cough, splutter). Jack Dyer commentating on Gary Lyon's 80+ metre goal during Prelim Final 1988 against Carlton.

'Save....the booze.' W.C. Fields to firefighters while watching his house burn down.

"On the other hand, you have different fingers".

:Not that there is anything wrong with it" - Jerry Seinfeld.

"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that they are rather difficult to verify." - Abraham Lincoln

Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

I resemble that comment.

I resemble that comment.

Hehe. There's a guy at my work who uses that one all the time, people are never quite sure what to make of it.

Got a head like a half eaten pastie...

Everybody repeat after me....."We are all individuals."

As i’ve told you 1 million times, do not exaggerate

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and genitals, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

Classic Robin Williams

Hehe. There's a guy at my work who uses that one all the time, people are never quite sure what to make of it.

Where do you work? haha! I have been known to use that line at work. If delivered well, with a straight face, people aren't sure whether you have a poor command of English or whether it is an attempt at humour.

"Nice Beaver"

Frank Drebin

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and genitals, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

Classic Robin Williams

Haha !

I will never apologise, I'm sorry Lisa that's just the way I am. - Homer Simpson

Got a head like a half eaten pastie...

Or a dropped pie...

-That's what she said

We've upgraded to the much funnier "just like your first time".

It works in so many situations!

'Save....the booze.' W.C. Fields to firefighters while watching his house burn down.

Hahaha!

"Take my wife...please!"

It works in so many situations!

That's what she said.

"Kids, your mother and I are in the middle of a very sticky, nutty, chewy . . . aghghgh. Boy, put that away."

One of the best moments of the entire run of the Simpsons.

"I can't BE with someone if I don't respect what they do."

"You're a cashier!"

What the #$%^ was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima 1945

"I did not have sex with that woman"

He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.

GB Shaw.

"I always remember a face but in your case I'll make an exception!" Groucho Marx

After the players adjourned for lunch in a Test match at Lords, Groucho Marx (attending his first cricket match) was quoted:

"This is great, when does it start?"