WAITING FOR JUDDMAN

[Demonland 66,527]

WAITING FOR JUDDMAN by Randy M.M. Savage

In case you're wondering about my absence over the past 18 months I will explain.

I have been away in the U. S. of A. working in my chosen profession as a scriptwriter for my mentor, Mr. Moore, the man responsible for the award winning documentary "Fahrenheit 9/10/Foxtel" or "How George Bush, Eddie McGuire and the neocons are destroying football."

Strangely enough the last production I worked on in the States was also about football. I co-wrote it with the author of the equally famous Hannabal Lechter series and it's a lovely little movie based loosely on reality about sports fans and their dreams entitled "Waiting for Juddman".

The astute among you would no doubt recognise that the title is a play on the title of Samuel Beckett's "Waiting for Godot." The plots also share enough similarities so that knowledge of Godot will reveal things about Juddman.

Are the rest of you guys still with me?

Waiting for Juddman is a loving parody of professional team sports, about the characters involved; the players, the coaches, the board members, sponsors, the journalists and commentators and most importantly of all – the fans. In many ways then it loosely reflects Beckett's Waiting for Godot.

Set in the fictional town of Melblaine, Victoria, it chronicles the trials and tribulations of a handful of utterly delusional and long suffering supporters of the local team as they prepare to help their club recruit a star footballer in anticipation of the club's 150th anniversary celebration.

The theme of the Sesquicentennial Year is "Red, Blue and Melblaine" and the supporters have high hopes that their club will recruit Chris Juddman, the home town's most celebrated sportsperson back to the club he supported as a child. Juddman is a professional footballer who has been the star player with an interstate club. The problem is that the Melblaine coffers are almost empty and Juddman is not only highly sought after but also the most highly paid performer in the country.

The club's Board decides to put together a major fund raising production using the "Red, Blue and Melblaine" theme and its flamboyant playing list manager is assigned to invite Juddman to town in the hope that the glitz, glamour and sentimentality of the programme will be enough to entice him to sign a contract with the club of his childhood dreams.

The programme itself is designed to relive the history of Melblaine but the production, put together on a shoestring by a group of buffoon supporters, is performed at a standard even poorer than that of the local team. How could it be otherwise when the performers have little talent and go by stange names like Whispering_Jack, Yze_Magic, Rhino Richards, Fan, belzebub59, Madness, Jaded and Clint Bizkit?

Fortunately for the cast and crew Juddman never shows up, because his flight is cancelled due to bad weather. However, a late-arriving audience member is mistaken for Juddman, is convinced to sign a long term contract and is subsequently drafted with selection number 85 in the National Draft. He goes on to become one of the greats of his chosen sport and his name is …

Are you guys still with me?

FOOTNOTE: If you're interested in watching a pale imitation of Randy's latest movie then you can settle for Waiting for Guffman on Foxtel's The Comedy Channel at 8.30pm tonight or The Comedy Channel +2 at 10.30pm. Not as good as Randy's production but still well worth the watch if you have a sense of humour (then again if you didn't have a sense of humour you wouldn't have read this far).

[Courtney_Fish 183]

Listen to the silence!

[Chelly 752]

Listen to the silence!

Randy, I don't think he's with you and he most likely hasn't seen This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind or Guffman. Probably hasn't got a sense of humour and wouldn't even appreciate THIS.

[beelzebub 22,344]

waiting for Juddman.. brilliant...bravo...bravo !!

Its all sadly...a little too true !! hehehe B)

[Go the Biff 3,208]

Holy snapping duckshit..get rid of that picture & hope he never sees it. He looks like an alien. Are you trying to drive him to Carlton ??

[melbournefc 18]

From my own scriptwriters perspective, "Waiting For Juddman" is pure brilliance.

[deanox 8,786]

Randy, I don't think he's with you and he most likely hasn't seen This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind or Guffman. Probably hasn't got a sense of humour and wouldn't even appreciate THIS.

i love that. dockerland, for all its crap and stupidity, never fails to come up with a great little way to bag the franchise does it? haha

[Whispering_Jack 28,094]

I endured Waiting for Godot while I was at uni many years ago and you can call me a "primitive" but like a lot of this art house stuff that was a play where nothing much happened and it bored me senseless. On the other hand Waiting for Guffman was really quite amusing and I now welcome Waiting for Juddman as the final leg of the trilogy. Well done Randy!

We Demon fans have spent most of our lifetimes waiting for something to happen and it seems that nothing ever does. Juddman hasn't arrived yet and we've been waiting a long, long time for him to come.

The question is why should we ever wait for good things to happen to us? We have the power to change the course of history and influence Juddmen to come to Melblaine but that won't happen if we sit around waiting. In the case of the latest Juddman it might already be too late and it could be true that Carlton is well advanced with negotiations and that it could already be a done deal. I'm nowhere near sold on the idea of getting this Juddman at the cost that is likely to be involved but we will no doubt debate it and put in some sort of offer.

Be that as it may, we need to make sure that in future we won't be left waiting but instead that we take positive steps to ensure that the next Godot, Guffman or Juddman comes to us. That means building up our club in every way possible so that we are considered the first port of call for a wandering Juddman and that we can develop our own as well. It's an outside chance but maybe he could be #85 in the next draft! Or maybe he will come in the form of players we already have who are waiting to be developed by the new coaching regime.

Whatever happens, let's not wait around, let's make things happen instead. I think that's what Randy's story is about.

[CARN THE DEES! 14]

Randy, I don't think he's with you and he most likely hasn't seen This is Spinal Tap, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind or Guffman. Probably hasn't got a sense of humour and wouldn't even appreciate THIS.

Haha now if only you could do that to "It's a Grand Old Flag"

[Chelly 752]

According to the Herald Sun it's possible that we have been proactive as a club and that we haven't been waiting for Juddman at all - DEES TRY TO TEMPT JUDD.

"DON'T confuse Melbourne's silence on Chris Judd for lack of interest in the superstar, who grew up barracking for the Demons.

The club has had an advisory group in place since January for precisely what eventuated in Perth at the weekend.

While it's not quite the "Deliver Chris Judd Committee", it is a high-powered group of businessmen assembled to lure any accessible big name to the club, and to hold those already there.

It comprises MFC chairman Paul Gardner, former Melbourne Cricket Club president David Jones, political powerbroker Michael Kroger, Seven network executive Ian Johnson, the club's general manager of list management and recruiting Craig Cameron, and a property developer and lawyer whose names are not known."

[deanox 8,786]

...

whos been saying that our board doesnt do anything?

[Whispering_Jack 28,094]

According to the Herald Sun it's possible that we have been proactive as a club and that we haven't been waiting for Juddman at all - DEES TRY TO TEMPT JUDD.

"DON'T confuse Melbourne's silence on Chris Judd for lack of interest in the superstar, who grew up barracking for the Demons.

The club has had an advisory group in place since January for precisely what eventuated in Perth at the weekend.

While it's not quite the "Deliver Chris Judd Committee", it is a high-powered group of businessmen assembled to lure any accessible big name to the club, and to hold those already there.

It comprises MFC chairman Paul Gardner, former Melbourne Cricket Club president David Jones, political powerbroker Michael Kroger, Seven network executive Ian Johnson, the club's general manager of list management and recruiting Craig Cameron, and a property developer and lawyer whose names are not known."

It's great to read this news but one wonders where have the captains of industry who support the club been in recent years? I know this is ancient history but during our golden era we used to have fantastic support from the business end of the community but it hasn't been apparent in recent years. Hopefully, this initiative can be expanded beyond the life of any negotiations to get Chris Judd and will mark a concerted effort to bring us to a point where we can compete on all levels with the likes of Collingw&%$!, Carl&%$!, Essen&%$! and the interstate clubs.

[Goodvibes 3,596]

More evidence of the advisory groups vision. He may not be Al Gore but . . .

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,2...124-664,00.html

[Gorgoroth 12,362]

Right up Judds alley, a nice job for him, working in a 6 star green building being a hippy and hugging trees

[Redleg 38,045]

More evidence of the advisory groups vision. He may not be Al Gore but . . .

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,2...124-664,00.html

This may be a bigger part of the proposal than meets the eye. It is clear our homework has been well done.

[beelzebub 22,344]

This may be a bigger part of the proposal than meets the eye. It is clear our homework has been well done.

Oh ...very much so.. .. A very interesting article, in so much as it identifies the mystery man ( well was to me ..lol ) . Not just development..but green development. Judd must be beaming !! hehehe

this club really is starting to get with it !!

[Chelly 752]

I think the time has come for all of us to read Waiting for Juddman again.

Seriously!

[cobba 0]

Number 3 perhaps?