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DANCING WITH STARS by the Oracle

As they say in the classics, a week's a long time in football and don't I know it?

Last week I was jumping out of my skin in anticipation of the start of the 2007 AFL season. Friday night couldn't come around quickly enough.

When the time came, things began well for the Demons who were strong favourites with the bookies. They jumped quickly out of the blocks to lead by 17 points - 3.2.20 to 0.3.3 with more than half of the first quarter gone but I wasn't about to start celebrating. After years of experience, I know Melbourne all too well!

The events of the remainder of the evening are well documented; the team fell into the old familiar abyss it often inhabits just when you're convinced that a new day is about to dawn. Skills, tactics and good old football brains all went out of the window and the supporters were treated to garbage. Was this the same team that we had so eagerly waited to see for six months?

Just like last year, we left the ground after game one totally crushed by the weight of seeing our team totally outplayed and outcoached!

That was a week ago.

By Saturday morning I was considering joining a monastery.

A miserable weekend ensued during which I contemplated the possible ways in which I could avoid eyeball to eyeball confrontation on Monday morning with my St. Kilda supporting workmates. Stay away from the water cooler, keep your nose to the grindstone and look busy even if you aren't. That sort of stuff!

Ultimately, I was forced to take my medicine and what a bitter pill it was to swallow from an inquisition of Saints fans who all asked one thing - what happened? How could a team that last year pounded Grant Thomas' charges through the midfield in such intimidating fashion in their Round 12 MCG clash and then repeated the dose in the Elimination Final go through such a rapid decline and be so pathetic?

More soul-searching and more despair.

By Tuesday night, the lady in my life took control and forced me to watch Dancing with the Stars in order to get my thoughts away from Friday night's disaster and thereby restore my life back to some semblance of order.

This tactic failed dismally. I fell asleep in the middle of the programme only to dream of dancers swirling around in bright, red and blue gear. They were doing the tango but this version was badly rehearsed and poorly choreographed. Apparently, the tango originated in South America and is a dance with varying rhythms and changing tempos from slow, slow to quick, quick and then slow again resembling the majestic jaguar about to pounce on its prey. In my nightmare/dream however, these guys were more like another South American native animal, the sloth. They simply couldn't change out of a slow, slow gear and that was half the problem - there was dancing going on but there were certainly no stars out there!

Wednesday morning saw me wakening in a cold sweat. My dream had ended at some time during the night when I handballed my pillow at the floor releasing a thousand white feathers. One white feather would have been enough!

St. Kilda's pathetic effort at the Gabba on Thurday night didn't make me feel any better but, at least by now, I was coming to terms with my team's ineptitude. I was beginning to set my sights at a point a lot lower than where they were a week earlier.

I accept now that Round 1 of 2007 was a reality check for the Melbourne Football Club. Like everything else in life, football form is an illusion, like the tango. It's just that some dance it better than others and my team can't dance all that well. Nor can it play good football at the moment and that is why Easter Monday's bottom-of-the-ladder battle is being hailed in some quarters as the fight for the first selection at the National Draft. You might say that's a trifle unkind considering the stage of the year but, from what we've seen in terms of enthusiasm and improvement from some of the other clubs in the competition, these two are eminently deserving of the early nomination.

THE GAME: Hawthorn v Melbourne at the MCG - 9 April 2007 at 2.10pm

HEAD TO HEAD:

Overall: Hawthorn 72 wins Melbourne 74 wins

At the G: Hawthorn 32 wins Melbourne 36 wins

Since 2000: Hawthorn 5 wins Melbourne 5 wins

The Coaches: Clarkson 1 Daniher 1

MEDIA:

TV: Channel 10 at 3pm (delayed telecast).

RADIO: 3AW, SEN, TripleM, ABC774.

THE BETTING: Melbourne to win $1.55 - Hawthorn to win $2.30.

LAST TIME THEY MET: Melbourne 20.16.136 defeated Hawthorn 9.7.61 at the MCG in Round 8, 2006.

David Neitz broke Norm Smith's club all time goal kicking record and finished with six goals. The Demon midfield was right in the frame with Brock McLean, Travis Johnstone and James McDonald the standouts. Meanwhile, the Hawks were an undisciplined rabble and Melbourne ran away to record its biggest victory of the season.

THE TEAMS:

HAWTHORN

Backs: Danny Jacobs Trent Croad Brent Guerra

Halfbacks: Brad Sewell Stephen Gilham Grant Birchall

Centreline: Rick Ladson Sam Mitchell Chance Bateman

Half forwards: Shane Crawford Lance Franklin Tim Clarke

Forwards: Mark Williams Tim Boyle Clinton Young

Followers: Simon Taylor Luke Hodge Jordan Lewis

Interchange: Campbell Brown Robert Campbell Ben Dixon Xavier Ellis

Emergencies: Ben McGlynn Michael Osborne Jarryd Roughead

In: Brown Crawford Dixon

Out: McGlynn Osborne Roughead

MELBOURNE:

Backs: Clint Bartram* Nathan Carroll Matthew Whelan

Half backs: Daniel Ward Jared Rivers Daniel Bell

Centreline: Brent Moloney James McDonald Brad Green

Half forwards: Cameron Bruce Brad Miller Russell Robertson

Forwards: Mark Jamar David Neitz Aaron Davey

Followers: Jeff White Nathan Jones Travis Johnstone

Interchange: Matthew Bate Nathan Brown Chris Johnson Paul Wheatley

Emergencies: Bizzell Godfrey Yze

In: Brown Rivers Wheatley

Out: McLean (fractured foot) Holland Yze

* Bizzell or Godfrey to come in for Bartram who injured a knee at training.

Umpires: Brett Rosebury Damien Sully Shaun Ryan

THE GAME PLAN:

As the ladder suggests, Hawthorn performed as miserably as Melbourne did in its opening round encounter. The Hawks however, have more reason to believe that they can turn things around quickly.

Hawthorn's defeat at the hands of the Brisbane Lions who finished 2006 in disarray and playing miserably, doesn't look so bad in the light of its form against St. Kilda on Thursday night. That the Demons lost to that Saints' rabble however, creates even more doubts as to their own poor form.

The Hawks regain experienced trio Shane Crawford, Campbell Brown and Ben Dixon while the Demons lose Brock McLean (admittedly, he was injured early last week so he didn't have an impact). Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson pointed out during the week that the return of this trio would help turn around the club's fortunes by providing it with a lot of experience and some real grunt. Both sides were lacking in this area last week but the Hawks will be hardened after their humiliating loss to Brisbane. Melbourne's inclusions however, add very little to the combination which lost to the Saints apart from the return of Jared Rivers which will help fortify the defence.

Demon coach Neale Daniher will be relying on his charges - particularly those in the midfield - to bounce back after most of his better players drew first up blanks. The coach's reaction to the lack of performance of the mainstays of his side last week was a bit of an understatement.

"We probably had 17 players that struggled," Daniher said.

Seventeen?

In my estimation, the figure was closer to 22 but who's counting?

The other concern - and the main one as far as I'm concerned - is the way in which the Demons are playing the game at the present time.

When the two teams met in their NAB Cup clash earlier this year, Melbourne unveiled its new "run and carry" style of play. The Demons looked unimpressive but at least they were in control until just before three quarter time. After that they simply collapsed under the weight of the added workload necessary to play a game that involved a staggering increase in running with the ball and handballing rather than quick movement by foot. Ultimately, losing by 24 points, the team recorded an unprecedented number of 45 more handballs than kicks. What made things worse for the Demons was that many of the handballs were misdirected and unnecessarily put team mates under pressure.

We were promised some modification to the style over time and an improvement with the return of more of the team regulars but there was little visible change through the preseason and it was still there for all to see against the Saints.

The indications coming from the club were that we would see something a little different this week. Let's pray that we do because so far, the new style has been an unmitigated disaster. Its continued use might somehow help the club perform better later in the season but one wonders whether it will be worth it to come home like a steam train with consecutive victories in the last four rounds if we finish in 12th place overall with eight wins in total.

The fact of the matter is that the same failings that were evident in Melbourne's Nab Cup debacle were repeated in the season opener. That very little changed in the intervening month and not much happened during the course of the first game indicates that the coach and the players are very slow on the uptake and that is bad news for the club, at least in the short term.

In order for Melbourne to win this game its players will need to collectively revive their skills in virtually every facet and adopt an entirely different attitude towards their game. Given the slow response to this problem area from both players and coaching staff over the past month or so, I simply cannot see sufficient turnaround in the space of ten days to get them up, even against Hawthorn.

The likes of Hodge, Mitchell and Crawford should hold the ascendancy in the middle and Melbourne will have to find something to put a stop to Lance Franklin who had the Demons mesmerised in the Nab Cup. If Trent Croad can hold David Neitz, the Demons will be in big trouble.

As indicated earlier, the Demons have gained a reputation of being notoriously slow starters. During the Daniher era, his team has been a finalist on six occasions out of nine seasons but in only two of those years (2002 and 2005) did they open in convincing fashion with a victory. The slow start syndrome has struck the club again and while Monday is definitely the day to start dancing, it's hard to do that when you've got two left feet.

I wish I could be proven wrong but on what Melbourne has dished up so far this year, you wouldn't touch it with a barge pole.

Hawthorn by 27 points.

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Wednesday morning saw me wakening in a cold sweat. My dream had ended at some time during the night when I handballed my pillow at the floor releasing a thousand white feathers. One white feather would have been enough!

LOL funny

good read that very interesting but the dees by 7 goals

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In order for Melbourne to win this game it will need to collectively revive its skills in virtually every facet of the game; skills that were missing in such large doses last week that I simply cannot see sufficient turnaround in the space of ten days for them to get up and win, even albeit against a lowly side like Hawthorn.

I usually hang out for these. But this is the first time I find myself frowning in confusion.

I was as depressed by last week as anyone, but even I can see why it's possible to have hope, at least for this week. The one thing this list has proven is that it's good enough on its day to beat good sides. Fix the gameplan and we may fix enough to get over the Hawks. If we were playing West Coast I would agree with you, but it's clear to me the Hawks are beatable, and the demons won't even need to play their best footy of 2006 to do it. Even if we lose, as long as the game-plan shows signs of changing, then there's reason to hope.

Call me Strawberry Fields, but if the players went in with a defeatist attitude like this we never would have made the finals last year.

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I usually hang out for these. But this is the first time I find myself frowning in confusion.

I was as depressed by last week as anyone, but even I can see why it's possible to have hope, at least for this week. The one thing this list has proven is that it's good enough on its day to beat good sides. Fix the gameplan and we may fix enough to get over the Hawks. If we were playing West Coast I would agree with you, but it's clear to me the Hawks are beatable, and the demons won't even need to play their best footy of 2006 to do it. Even if we lose, as long as the game-plan shows signs of changing, then there's reason to hope.

Call me Strawberry Fields, but if the players went in with a defeatist attitude like this we never would have made the finals last year.

There should be no confusion Dappa. The execution of the game plan needs to be fixed but if they couldn't do that in the space of over a month and four practice matches plus the game v St. Kilda, how the hell do you fix it in just over a week?

Our list is good enough and that Hawks are beatable but the Demons were so unimpressive last week. There was no run, no confidence and nothing there to inspire. The attitude of the players and their body language seemed all wrong. The Oracle recons we're just not cherry ripe or ready to play ATM and I think that's a fair enough call ATM.

What's the Strawberry Fields stuff all about?

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There should be no confusion Dappa.

What's the Strawberry Fields stuff all about?

- Sorry, confusion was the wrong word there. Should have written surprise. Usually I agree wholeheartedly with each and every phrase. Confused and surprised in your position, but you explain it perfectly sensibly, as always.

- Haven't visited demonology lately? One of the regular posters there mentioned that if the 2 sites were to have theme songs, demonland's would be Strawberry Fields by the Beatles. If you listen to it it's pretty easy to understand what this poster is referring to. The idea is that demonology knows everything, and that demonland are a bunch of deluded teenagers.

Mostly a bit of fun, but for some unnecessary. Have you not come across this in the past?

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- Haven't visited demonology lately? One of the regular posters there mentioned that if the 2 sites were to have theme songs, demonland's would be Strawberry Fields by the Beatles. If you listen to it it's pretty easy to understand what this poster is referring to. The idea is that demonology knows everything, and that demonland are a bunch of deluded teenagers.

Mostly a bit of fun, but for some unnecessary. Have you not come across this in the past?

Just name him Dappa. TGR said it.

As for posters saying 'ology knows everything, what a crock (OK, barring one poster). Many of the 'ology posters don't see those here as 'deluded teenagers' and many like myself post on both sites regularly as they enjoy the differing opinions found on both sites.

I've used the terms there to sum it up and 'land have youngsters with 'blind love' and 'ology as a bunch of crusty old men with 'tough love'.

I don't think that's unfair to here (well it's not meant to be), we all know there is a diversity of opinion (as with 'ology'), but is just a vague generalisation to characterise the differences between the two.

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Dees are not in great knick.....but the Hawks are not much better.

I think it will be a close encounter, it will be evenly paced or it will be an error fest.

I am guessing Dees by 11 points.

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Just name him Dappa. TGR said it.

I don't think that's unfair to here (well it's not meant to be), we all know there is a diversity of opinion (as with 'ology'), but is just a vague generalisation to characterise the differences between the two.

- Wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction... :lol:

- Couldn't agree more. I mostly enjoy the difference between the sites. It's actually a luxury if you think about it. However I would make the point that there ARE a few posters that don't treat it as a bit of fun. Personally, I couldn't give a stuff what the minority from 'ology or here have to say about one or the other. Creating an "us and them" mentality that's anything more than a little bit of tomfoolery is the very height of pointlessness.

It's unfortunate, but posters on 'ology claim, with far more regularity, that they don't post on demonland because of perceived weaknesses in comparison to 'ology. They're told off for it, but they still like to snipe. Posters on 'land rarely make comments about the other site, and many have said they rarely cross the border simply because they don't feel welcome, or that they'll be berated for having a difference of opinion. Personally, I don't post there much because I reckon it's a bit crowded. Honestly, I don't think I'm quick enough to post anything constructive. Anything I've ever wanted to mention is usually covered, making my contributions superfluous. Also, there's a LOT of in-jokes there, which again, is understandable and should be encouraged. I like demonology, especially since the recent changes, and reckon Tim does a bang-up job, and I have quite a bit of tolerance for the grumpy old men from there. I'm only 27 years old, so I can understand that some of those guys have been waiting for a premiership for twice the amount of time I have. Under those circumstances I'm willing to forgive a little bit of "eccentricity."

However I would hasten to suggest that there's nothing that brings the term "loser" to mind more than someone (who posts predominantly on one site) slinging out personal insults about the clientelle on another site. We're all following the same team, and if you attempt to suppress a demons supporter's right to follow his or her team in his own way simply because you disagree with their opinion, then you may as well hand in your membership. We have enough trouble getting numbers as it is.

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I too get very upset by the "they're all over-excitable teenagers" generalisation as our best contributors (Whispering_Jack, Scoop Junior, Jaded, Rhino Richards, Dappa Dan and many others) are all adults who put their opinions forward in a sensible, rational, well-written manner. And I get very irked when certain posters sink the boots in at every opportunity they get.

Anyway, I think DD that you've just inadvertently contributed to the "us and them" mentality (edit: so have I) that you said yourself you don't like, so let's leave the Demonology discussion at that.

Edited by Nasher
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I too get very upset by the "they're all over-excitable teenagers" generalisation as our best contributors (Whispering_Jack, Scoop Junior, Jaded, Rhino Richards, Dappa Dan and many others) are all adults who put their opinions forward in a sensible, rational, well-written manner. And I get very irked when certain posters sink the boots in at every opportunity they get.

Anyway, I think DD that you've just inadvertently contributed to the "us and them" mentality (edit: so have I) that you said yourself you don't like, so let's leave the Demonology discussion at that.

Good point Nasher. However, while you're right in saying that we have our fair share of adults here and that they add a well reasoned touch to the discussion, we've always encouraged young people to contribute and some of them are more articulate and clever about the game and their team some of the oldies. By the way, Scoop Junior was, in fact, a teenager when he started writing articles for Demonland!

This chatter about "over-excitable teenagers" and the whole Strawberry Fields thing is just mythology that comes from one or two individuals whose own pathologies and overblown egos have more to do with such nonsense than anything else.

The majority of Demonland and Demonology folk get along fine. Let's leave it at that and get on with discussing the footy.

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Anyway, I think DD that you've just inadvertently contributed to the "us and them" mentality (edit: so have I) that you said yourself you don't like, so let's leave the Demonology discussion at that.

Yeah. Oops. I can see that, reviewing my post. Didn't mean to make anything worse. As I said I'm happy with the relationships as they are. You can't let a few bad eggs spoil the bunch, and the ugliness comes up so rarely it's almost not worth mentioning...

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Teenagers can still know more about Melbourne than a 50 year old. It doesnt matter about age its about ur views for melbourne and ur opinons. If the people on demonlogy spend so much time worrying/complaining about the stuff on demonland instead of whats happening on the football ground then they should just look at themselves. By the way i am only 16

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Teenagers can still know more about Melbourne than a 50 year old. It doesnt matter about age its about ur views for melbourne and ur opinons. If the people on demonlogy spend so much time worrying/complaining about the stuff on demonland instead of whats happening on the football ground then they should just look at themselves. By the way i am only 16
I'm 33. Does that make me an oldie and if so, does that automatically make me smarter than anyone else around here?

I agree with WJ and CARN THE DEES. Age has nothing to do whether you're smart or not and anyone who says otherwise is a snob.

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I'm 33. Does that make me an oldie and if so, does that automatically make me smarter than anyone else around here?

I agree with WJ and CARN THE DEES. Age has nothing to do whether you're smart or not and anyone who says otherwise is a snob.

Getting back to the football and the subjet of this thread, I think Hawthorn has more problems than Melbourne and we will turn it around tomorrow. I just have that feeling.

Go Dees!

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Yeah, see... Naaah. If you're VERY young, you have had less opportunity to see and learn, and most important EXPERIENCE football in all it's facets. You're absolutely right that being young is no limit to your knowledge (the sharpest football theorist I know is only 22-odd, startling intellect), but when you're generalising over the space of 1000 posters, there is a correlation between age and experience.

I do see your point though, and it is well made.

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Yeah, see... Naaah. If you're VERY young, you have had less opportunity to see and learn, and most important EXPERIENCE football in all it's facets. You're absolutely right that being young is no limit to your knowledge (the sharpest football theorist I know is only 22-odd, startling intellect), but when you're generalising over the space of 1000 posters, there is a correlation between age and experience.

I do see your point though, and it is well made.

Hey being young means you're not a stubborn old fool (or stubborn fool in my case) on your views about footy. My point then and now is how lucky we are with both sites, I value them both and a generalization such as mine was meant as a bit of fun.

I understand those that jump in with criticism the first chance they get, but you can count those posters on one hand and rather than get upset, realise it's a massive minority who should be ignored on this issue.

BTW I think the Jeckyl and Hyde Demons will show their alter ego and smash the Hawks this week. 8 goals to us.

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I understand those that jump in with criticism the first chance they get, but you can count those posters on one hand and rather than get upset, realise it's a massive minority who should be ignored on this issue.

Agreed.

Nice Avatar by the way.

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All they have to do is bring back last years gameplan and we'll win fairly easily.

A lot easier said than done.

ND will be under the pump and he'd be a fool to keep the run and carry gameplan style going. It is very frustrating watching Geelong (a side I think we're a fair bit better than) simply keep the ball moving forward with long kicks and hard running and destroy Carlton, when we just handball for no reason around the HBF line.

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All they have to do is bring back last years gameplan and we'll win fairly easily.

A lot easier said than done.

ND will be under the pump and he'd be a fool to keep the run and carry gameplan style going. It is very frustrating watching Geelong (a side I think we're a fair bit better than) simply keep the ball moving forward with long kicks and hard running and destroy Carlton, when we just handball for no reason around the HBF line.

I was watching Adelaide v Bulldogs tonight and I thought the Doggies lost the game because of their slow movement out of the back line (or perhaps it was Adelaide forcing them to do that). Whatever the case, the Bulldogs looked a lot cleaner than we did last week. I don't understand why, if the run and carry game was designed to win us games at the interstate grounds that happen to be long and thin, that we have to use the same game plan at the MCG which we handled pretty well as it was last year.

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Good point Nasher. However, while you're right in saying that we have our fair share of adults here and that they add a well reasoned touch to the discussion, we've always encouraged young people to contribute and some of them are more articulate and clever about the game and their team some of the oldies. By the way, Scoop Junior was, in fact, a teenager when he started writing articles for Demonland!

Of course. I started posting on Demonland myself in 2003. That would've made me 19 at the time; a teenager as well.

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Good point Nasher. However, while you're right in saying that we have our fair share of adults here and that they add a well reasoned touch to the discussion, we've always encouraged young people to contribute and some of them are more articulate and clever about the game and their team some of the oldies. By the way, Scoop Junior was, in fact, a teenager when he started writing articles for Demonland!

Just as my final word on this topic, I didn't mean to paint all teenagers with one brush. I was a teenager (18 or 19) when I started posting on 'land and 'ology myself.

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Just as my final word on this topic, I didn't mean to paint all teenagers with one brush. I was a teenager (18 or 19) when I started posting on 'land and 'ology myself.

Neither age nor gender defines your knowledge or passion for the game or this club.

BTW, I think I was 16 when I first started posting here :o

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