Hope is a Dangerous Thing

[Goodvibes 3,596]

"Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane." - Morgan Freeman, 'The Shawshank Redemption' (1994).

Like many folk around here, Im currently low on morale and struggling to muster the usual optimism and energy for the fight. Were hardened supporters whove become experts at dealing with loss and adversity. Whilst I shake my head regularly at some of the stuff thats posted on Demonland, Im proud of my fellow Dees supporter. Its a tough gig and if any group of supporters had reason to walk away its us. Weve experienced one setback after another but we always bounce back. Or so I thought. The last three weeks, like others, Ive noted the uncharacteristic deflation and hurt that has clearly overwhelmed a band of posters Id normally associate with balance, optimism and good humour. Its one thing to be down about our current form but more disturbingly, its another to be flying the white with no hope for the future. A great many posters have made reference to mergers, relocation and death. And theyve done so in a manner that you normally associate with a terminal patient wanting to be put out of their misery. This concerns me greatly. Weve also heard posters talk about the plight of their children. Im about to turn forty and have two small children who I have no qualms in saying will definitely be Melbourne supporters and members. Ive had friends throw the child abuse jokes my way as well. I remember wearing the number two on the back of my Dees jumper in the early 80s in primary school and feeling very much alone.

In the minds of many the last three weeks and Mitch Clarks sad departure has been one kick in the guts too many. With Paul Roos, came an incredible tidal wave of hope. Expectations rose and hope morphed into genuine anticipation of improvement and wins. Paul Roos was like an adrenalin shot for failing fans and with the opening three losses weve relapsed and fallen into a hole of despair bigger than any weve experienced in the past. The timing and nature of Mitch Clarks affliction couldnt have been more symbolic of how the Melbourne masses must feel.

Hope can indeed drive a man insane or in our case, an entire football forum. Im not going to sit in judgment and Im certainly not going to stand on my soap box. Posters have every right to vent their anger and point the finger of blame but there comes a point when anaylzing and over-analyzing the ills of the past serves little purpose. Weve made our mistakes at the draft table, weve allowed a culture of mediocrity to emerge over the past eight seasons. Our decision makers have erred and the power mongers have divided rather than united. Weve lost loved ones, sacked coaches and been ridiculed for deliberately losing. We cant ignore the past but at some point we must move on. I think weve learnt from our mistakes and am confident weve got the appropriate structures now in place. The last piece of the puzzle, sadly, will be the team we send out onto the paddock each week.

So what am I asking? I guess Im asking for you to help each other out. Dont underestimate the power your individual posts can have on the shared psyche of the most passionate Demon supporters in the land. The group vibe right now is toxic. Talk of the club dying isnt productive. Repeatedly discussing past mistakes made by past regimes isnt productive. Slagging off young inexperienced players isnt productive. Abusing other posters who are in as much pain as you, isnt productive.

And if I can indulge in another reference to Shawshank Redemption, can I state my intent to personally get off the canvass yet again and re-commit to the club that has played such a huge role in my life. Put simply, theres no alternative. They had me from the first day I walked down the players race at the MCG as a seven year old attending a dreary, waterlogged training session. Im not going to allow this part of my life to die. Im going to find joy in the journey again and Im going to look forward to the next win and the next surge of adrenalin that only footy seems to provide. Theres a clear choice to make. As a supporter you can get busy living or get busy dying.

Edited April 10, 2014 by Nasher
Fixed fonts

[P-man 13,366]

I have a quiet respect for all my fellow Demon fans. No other club has gone through a period like this, certainly not in the modern era. Even freakin Richmond has seen the dawn.

They can say what they want about our club, but the supporters are built out of strong stuff. We've had to be.

[Trisul 664]

You were the poster that first came to mind when a 'poster of the year' or 'best poster' thread came up a while back, Goodvibes. Chalk another great one up.

[pantaloons 2,019]

Thanks Goodvibes. All Demonlanders should read this. I'm guilty of some of the things you talk about and you've given a good reminder of a better spirit of posting, so thanks. As usual, I'll be at the game this week, and I hope turn up of Melbourne supporters isn't so feeble that I can hear my own voice when we kick a goal. I'm moving on in my grief phase and am accepting that this year is going to be a lot tougher than I expected. Every win is going to be cherished. And like Shawshank, the light and the end of the tunnel is going to be hard-fought and incredibly sweet.

[Thehardtackler 785]

I wrote to Paul Roos about how I was impressed that Billy Stretch wanted to play for us and that I only wanted him to draft and keep players who bled red and blue. I did not expect a reply but lo and behold he wrote back last night. He said he agrees and he only wants players who are committed to the club and the game plan to remain. He also said that he played with Billy's father at Fitzroy and I get the hint that maybe Billy Stretch is a lock.

[Whispering_Jack 29,805]

'Vibes - I think your sentiments resonate more with the longer standing supporters who were brought up when the system was one of fierce tribal loyalty and you expected your players to give all for their jumper, their coach and their teammates. These days, the players get paid so much and society is reflected not so much through debate and discussion in the traditional media but often by the instant gratification in the social media, attitudes have changed. I think the hardest thing to take for many this year was what the team's performance and attitude in the West Coast Eagles game. It was supposed to be a thing of the past and wouldn't happen under Roos.

[spirit of norm smith 16,292]

Goodvibes. Myself and 33,000 others share your love for the club.

I share your pain, but we shall never surrender. Lets stay angry and keep our desire to win.

Edited April 9, 2014 by spirit of norm smith

[Satyriconhome 10,730]

What canvas?....still on my feet

[Sir Why You Little 36,985]

Nice one Mr Vibes...A very good read (once i had increased the font size!!)

[Wormburner 674]

Nice post Goodvibes.

Like us all, my hope that I had at the start of the year has been squashed and it fricken sucks!

However, as I sit here at work (pretending to work), I look around my office and there is the team poster, calendar with Clark on it and the poster of N.Jones - and guess what, they'll stay there for the season and pre season until next years come out.

Although it sucks at the moment, I'm not going to give up on the team. I'll be there Saturday, unfortunately expecting us to lose again, but I'll still be there cheering them on.

[Goodvibes 3,596]

Yeah sorry about the font size. My Demonland settings are a bit weird at the moment. I'm struggling with the quote button and couldn't even increase the font size upon editing.

WJ I take your point. I knew we were dead in the water two minutes into the West Coast game and the now infamous Frawley chase was symptomatic of where we were at. James Frawley is an elite defender who is bereft of confidence in himself and his team mates right now. It seemed to me as if Roos had spent five months slowly rebuilding some of our collective confidence and then the St Kilda loss knocked their stuffing out and they went into the West Coast game with little self belief. Our confidence levels and as others have highlighted, our levels of trust in each other are at an extremely low ebb. As I tried to point out in the OP, hope is a dangerous thing. It's not just the supporters it's the players too. They were full of hope leading into round 1. They believed in Roos and they believed in the gameplan. Look at how quickly many of our supporters have thrown in the towel. Just like those supporters, the team was riding high on hope and then when that hope was smashed (unluckily) against St Kilda we fell into an even deeper hole. In the past when we've been struggling I've noticed that it's near on impossible to just flick a switch and suddenly run around looking like a competent footy team. Re-building of confidence takes time and usual occurs incrementally over a series of games. And as you say, in the modern world of instant gratification it's not what many young supporters will want to hear. I'd like to think we may have taken a small step against GWS and hope to see the same occur against Carlton. It's the understatement of the year to say that this team needs a win. People are talking about a 0 - 22 game season. We've had winning opportunities in two of our three games and we've done so without a key forward to kick to. We will win games this season.

[timD 994]

It's a lovely sentiment and said at the right time.

Unlike pants, I'm more guilty than most. I'm furious about this state - the state of the MFC - and choose this forum to express my views and analyse the various reasons. The benefits of this train-wreck are that we all have an acute understanding now of the need to get your people strategy right, because everything (every decision, tactic, venture) flows from the quality of people you bring in and the culture/engagement you create. So we can see how a series of decisions and appointments leads to the cascading set of problems. Governance, boards, admin, footy dept, structures, recruiting, development - all is now evident in part if not in full.

Peter Jackson is right to speak of loss of trust and betrayals. He is also right to speak of resilience, of staying the course while holding the club to account. This is very much a forum where these ideas get thrashed around, albeit in a chaotic way. The poor bit is that it gets toxic.

So what do you do? This is the only place that many really get to offload - and God knows we have a fair bit to dump!

I'll speak for myself only - I'll keep holding the club to account and debating the rights and wrongs of decisions etc. I'll remove the vehemence. It doesn't persuade anyone and probably only leads to opposition to the tone and more vehemence.

Really nice post, 'vibes.

[Darbsy 55]

A brilliant post and I love the shawshank redemption reference. I'm guilty of some of the things you mention too, I maybe should ban myself from writing anything till the Thursday after a game as reason sinks in about then.

[Damo 3,344]

"Look at how quickly many of our supporters have thrown in the towel. ."

Right....

Edited April 9, 2014 by Franky_31

[Satyriconhome 10,730]

It's a lovely sentiment and said at the right time.

Unlike pants, I'm more guilty than most. I'm furious about this state - the state of the MFC - and choose this forum to express my views and analyse the various reasons. The benefits of this train-wreck are that we all have an acute understanding now of the need to get your people strategy right, because everything (every decision, tactic, venture) flows from the quality of people you bring in and the culture/engagement you create. So we can see how a series of decisions and appointments leads to the cascading set of problems. Governance, boards, admin, footy dept, structures, recruiting, development - all is now evident in part if not in full.

Peter Jackson is right to speak of loss of trust and betrayals. He is also right to speak of resilience, of staying the course while holding the club to account. This is very much a forum where these ideas get thrashed around, albeit in a chaotic way. The poor bit is that it gets toxic.

So what do you do? This is the only place that many really get to offload - and God knows we have a fair bit to dump!

I'll speak for myself only - I'll keep holding the club to account and debating the rights and wrongs of decisions etc. I'll remove the vehemence. It doesn't persuade anyone and probably only leads to opposition to the tone and more vehemence.

Really nice post, 'vibes.

The problem is that some posters on here, will only ever accept that they are RIGHT, about everything, and will denigrate anybody that doesn't agree with them, so it is not a 'healthy' debate, my point in all this is that it is only footy, nobody dies

[Goodvibes 3,596]

Franky, I'm not judging those people. But I'm merely making the point that we've taken hit after hit. During the lowest of low days during Neeld's tenure people would come on to Demonland and spew forth their judgements and criticisms but rarely would they throw their hands in the air and say, "I've had enough". Over the past three weeks that's been happening more and more here. I'm only suggesting that the arrival of Roos brought with it increased levels of hope for both the players and the supporters. When results haven't improved, the lows that both groups have felt may have in fact been worse than anything over the past seven or eight seasons.

[Goodvibes 3,596]

timD, I completely understand the role Demonland plays in providing an outlet for the frustration that goes with being a Melbourne supporter and agree that the club shouldn't be above receiving criticism when it's warranted but 90% of the negativity involves failings of past regimes. As I said, it's time to move on. If we keep opening up old wounds, the group mentality will worsen. Imagine you're a passionate 13 or 14 year old who stumbles upon Demonland for the first time . . . . I genuinely fear for the next generation. I think we need to embrace what makes us special. I was introduced to a friend's visiting parents last week and the usual line came up about me not being a bad bloke apart from the fact I follow the Dees. I quickly responded that it's like a badge of honour to me and should speak volumes as to my character, loyalty and resilience. It's tough to shake the chip on the shoulder when the team is doing so poorly but as a club we need to boost our esteem and our pride. Obviously, it would be easier if that started on the field. But the last 8 years have shown us that we can't necessarily wait for that to happen.

[timD 994]

timD, I completely understand the role Demonland plays in providing an outlet for the frustration that goes with being a Melbourne supporter and agree that the club shouldn't be above receiving criticism when it's warranted but 90% of the negativity involves failings of past regimes. As I said, it's time to move on. If we keep opening up old wounds, the group mentality will worsen. Imagine you're a passionate 13 or 14 year old who stumbles upon Demonland for the first time . . . . I genuinely fear for the next generation. I think we need to embrace what makes us special. I was introduced to a friend's visiting parents last week and the usual line came up about me not being a bad bloke apart from the fact I follow the Dees. I quickly responded that it's like a badge of honour to me and should speak volumes as to my character, loyalty and resilience. It's tough to shake the chip on the shoulder when the team is doing so poorly but as a club we need to boost our esteem and our pride. Obviously, it would be easier if that started on the field. But the last 8 years have shown us that we can't necessarily wait for that to happen.

I fear for the next generation, too. My kids are 6, 4, and 18/12. All are members and the older boys come to the footy with me several times a year. My eldest asks me why I barrack for the Dees when they "are so not very good". I get the idea. He's floated wanting to barrack for Geelong (F-I-L's team).

My line on this is that they will barrack for melbourne or no-one. While I'll never discourage them from another team, I won't buy them that stuff or take them to see them. The family barracks for melbourne and that is that. The way I try to make it work is try to make coming to the footy good fun and by being philosophical about losses while making improvement sound inevitable. And I know things will turn. Our luck won't always be diabolical. The wheel will turn. And I plan to be there when it does.

[Maggot 1977 263]

love it Goodvibes - get on the feel good train !!!

Only 6.5 hrs until the squad for this weeks game is announce, always a little excitement for the day.

"Difficulties break some men but make others. No axe is sharp enough to cut the soul of a sinner who keeps on trying, one armed with the hope that he will rise even in the end." - Nelson Mandela

[Goodvibes 3,596]

Tim, I've been giving a bit of thought to this business of indoctrinating children. I do it regularly in my day to day job but my own children is another thing entirely. I've long hoped that the on-field tide would turn before they're old enough to actually realise what's going on but I think I need to plan for the inevitable. I've decided the first thing I can do is try harder to not associate the act of actually watching Melbourne with anger, frustration and poor language. So for the next couple of years I might try to isolate myself from the family during game time. That may be difficult. Secondly, I'm going to photoshop a picture of their grandparents, great grandparents and even great great grandparents with Melbourne jerseys on. I might even create a story about a former player whose lineage is linked to our own. But above all else I've decided that I'm going to indoctrinate their friends. I've done it with a couple of mine, why can't I do it with their friends and their friends' parents? It's the isolation a young Melbourne supporter feels that is the greatest enemy. As long as they've got a couple of key friends to be miserable with they may just survive their adolescent years and hopefully in a decade or two they'll actually enjoy following the red and blue during their young adult phase. Thoughts?

[Biffen 12,940]

You really are a goodvibe Goodvibes.

For some supporters it feels like the waves are rolling over us as we get sucked out to sea.

Some have stopped struggling .

Others ,like BBO disappear into the closet but come out like Peter Allen in a Mardi Gras when we start winning .

Its a reminder for all of us to keep our chin(s) up.

[Moonshadow 17,675]

You really are a goodvibe Goodvibes.

For some supporters it feels like the waves are rolling over us as we get sucked out to sea.

Some have stopped struggling .

Others ,like BBO disappear into the closet but come out like Peter Allen in a Mardi Gras when we start winning .

Its a reminder for all of us to keep our chin(s) up.

Thanks for the thread Goodvibes. Given me a boost. Please post more inspiring threads.

Biff, not sure any of us needed that mental picture of BBO after a win, but it gave me a laugh.

[Ron Burgundy 8,584]

Top post Goodvibes - nice sentiments. Geez we need a lucky break though - I'm starting to believe that this club is cursed. It's been ridiculous.

As an aside, Shawshank Redemption is one of the all time genuinely great movies. In fact, I might watch it yet again right now.

[Deetective Sgt. Taggert 389]

Great post Goodvibes. I've been living in Ethiopia the last 9 months but still following the footy as best I can. Given the terribly slow internet, watching games is out of the question so I rely heavily on Demonland for information. I agree that things the level of despair on demonland lately is overwhelming and has been bringing me down as well, even though I am so far removed from Australia at present

Funnily enough, I often refer to that "get busy living, or get busy dying" quote from the shawshank redepemtion whenever I am struggling with the stress and challenge of living over here in a very different culture without many of the modern comforts we take for granted back home. But I also think it applies very well to our beloved Dees and all the supporters in the current situation, so thanks for the reminder.

[rpfc 28,263]

Great post.

I too get frustrated when the future of the club is used a bludgeon on here without exploration, intended to incite fear and morbid group think.

It's up to us what happens to this club.

So we might as well get busy living...