Jump to content

The No T$ No B$ Thread

Redleg
Redleg
in Melbourne Demons

Featured Replies

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Wash your mouth out with caustic soda skinny - shiraz is the king of wines.

Then who is the Queen?

By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

  • Quote
    •  
    53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    Speaking of poor people, we haven't heard from Special Robert for a while.

    I suppose he and squirrel spooning wasn't enough and a cold night got them.

    Or he might've gone the same way as stuie, curry & beer or dee-luded. Killed off in the dead of night. Our very own murder mystery, if you will.

    Who's next?

    The butler hiding in the pantry (dc)? The Lady of the House decending the staircase (Maple)? Or the Drunken Uncle fumbling around the cellar for another bottle of shiraz? 

    Edited by Moonshadow

  • Quote
    • Like 2
    1 hour ago, dieter said:

    Then who is the Queen?

    By the way, the Shiraz emporer has no clothes.

    No.... that's just you ....on your second bottle ;)

  • Quote
    • Like 1
     
    2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    No that's me after helping Biffen move out of the Gat.

    I will need to store some stuff at the Monor for a while.

    Some of it is from parts foreign.

    Your proximty to the airport could be handy.

    Since the closure of the Gat I have decided to increase my business .

    Your are included in my new venture.Dont thank me yet.The hard work has only just begun.

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Edited by Earl Hood

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    3 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Divorce

  • Quote
    8 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Your Earlness,

    You wouldn't perchance be the Earl of Sandwich, would you?

    Because what you describe sounds like a Faecal Sandwich to me. 

  • Quote
    • Like 1
     
    14 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Divorce.

  • Quote

    Tell her to pack her BDSM gear as well Earl. And a good bottle of vodka. It'll be worth the sacrifice 

  • Quote

    Treason is punishable by death in my country.

    But go ahead Earl!

    You won't be thought of as less than human.

    Or anywhere in the vicinity.

     

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    Quite acceptable to wear your red and blue, I would think.  If you want to wear yellow and brown, wait for incontinence to hit after you move into the nursing home....

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    If it's gold and brown bra and panties, you can safely wear those for a bit of fun without being identified as a Hawks fan. If it's something to wear on the outside and there's no hididing it then, no , not under any circumstances. 

  • Quote
    2 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    That cannot be a serious question Earl. Of course you cannot wear that under any circumstances. Perhaps donate the scarf on the way to some poor homeless type (I am sure there are a few that can be found in that harbourside place), and if that goes well, do the same with the jumper. Failing that, you could accidentally spill your drink all over it, thus ruining the fabric. You could also say you are carrying it for the Sheedy-type wave, and then just not be able to hang onto it once you have whipped up a good speed (but perhaps aim for the nearest bin whilst doing so, just to be sure). Or maybe just polish your shoes with it before you go, and then use it as a bin liner. But surely Conchita can deal with this for you?

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    21 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

    Demonlanders I am need of advice. 

    I am headed to Sydney this Friday primarily on family business with the good wife. However she has then taken the opportunity to book tickets for the Hawthorn v Sydney game on Friday night and asked me if I wanted to go ( as if I had a choice). I naively responded yes as I have never attended a sporting event at the SCG so this would be a unique experience for me and I would not particularly care who won so could just sit back and soak up the atmosphere. 

    Now she is demanding that I wear Hawthorn colours on the night and has packed a yellow and brown jumper and scarf in my suitcase! 

    I have drawn a line in the sand on this and said I will need to seek guidance from my Demonland advisors before I can make a decision to wear those colours. 

    Your advice on this is most welcome. 

    Good heavens Earl! Whatever are you thinking?

    The answer to your dilemma is obvious.

    It is time to demonstrate just who wears the pants.

    Give your missus a jolly good thrashing and take the hirstute Conchita to Sydney.

     

    PS. You wont even have to go the football.

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    16 hours ago, Redleg said:

    My interest in this season is being killed off. 

    what season is that ?....our Winter......of......:rolleyes:

  • Quote
    • Author

    Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

    Very disappointing to have to report that.

  • Quote
    2 minutes ago, Redleg said:

    Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

    Very disappointing to have to report that.

    Stay away from them Red.

    Read labels...all numbers and gobbledygook... FakeFood !!

  • Quote

    On 27/05/2017 at 3:29 PM, Redleg said:

    Been giving those weight loss shakes a go this week and sad to say that the banana flavour is the worst tasting.

    Very disappointing to have to report that.

    Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

    The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

  • Quote
    29 minutes ago, bjDee said:

    Agree with you Red. And strawberry isn't much better. The rest are good though, but they're not fruit flavours.

    The moral is: if you want real fruit flavour, stick to real fruit. 

    The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    3 minutes ago, hemingway said:

    The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

    I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

    Thought you must be dead.

    ............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Quote
    •  
    • Author
    18 hours ago, hemingway said:

    The moral is don't consume weight loss shakes or any other commercially produced weight loss products. 

    That might be the moral but ATM they are working. However I know they are only a short term fix but you often need to get a result early to ensure continuation and they are ok for that.

    PS. The caffe latte flavour is great.

  • Quote
    • Like 1
    20 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

    I haven't had any of your gems of wisdom for a while Ernie.

    Thought you must be dead.

    ............................ Oh ..... hang on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hineni, here I am my Lord.            Acceptance of the inevitable has replaced wisdom Uncle. 

  • Quote
    • Like 1

    Join the conversation

    You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

    Guest
    Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
    Reply to this topic...
    Go to topic listing

    Featured Content

    • REPORT: Essendon

      What were they thinking? I mean by “they” the coaching panel and team selectors who chose the team to play against an opponent who, like Melbourne, had made a poor start to the season and who they appeared perfectly capable of beating in what was possibly the last chance to turn the season around.It’s no secret that the Demons’ forward line is totally dysfunctional, having opened the season barely able to average sixty points per game which means there has been no semblance of any system from the team going forward into attack. Nevertheless, on Saturday night at the Adelaide Oval in one of the Gather Round showcase games, Melbourne, with Max Gawn dominating the hit outs against a depleted Essendon ruck resulting from Nick Bryan’s early exit, finished just ahead in clearances won and found itself inside the 50 metre arc 51 times to 43. The end result was a final score that had the Bombers winning 15.6 (96) to 8.9 (57). On balance, one could expect this to result in a two or three goal win, but in this case, it translated into a six and a half goal defeat because they only managed to convert eight times or 11.68% of their entries. The Bombers more than doubled that. On Thursday night at the same ground, the losing team Adelaide managed to score 100 points from almost the same number of times inside 50.

        • Sad
        • Clap
        • Like
      • 0 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • PODCAST: Essendon

      The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 14th April @ the all new time of 8:00pm. Join Binman, George & I as we dissect another Demons loss at Kardinia Park to the Cats in the Round 04. Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show. If you would like to leave us a voicemail please call 03 9016 3666 and don't worry no body answers so you don't have to talk to a human.

        • Thanks
      • 33 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • PREGAME: Fremantle

      The Demons return home to the MCG in search of their first win for the 2025 Premiership season when they take on the Fremantle Dockers on Saturday afternoon. Who comes in and who goes out?

        • Thanks
      • 97 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • VOTES: Essendon

      Max Gawn leads the Demonland Player of the Year ahead of Clayton Oliver, Christian Petracca, Kade Chandler and Jake Bowey. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

        • Thanks
      • 24 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • POSTGAME: Essendon

      Despite a spirited third quarter surge, the Demons have slumped to their worst start to a season since 2012, remaining winless and second last on the ladder after a 39-point defeat to Essendon at Adelaide Oval in Gather Round.

        • Vomit
        • Sad
        • Thanks
      • 264 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland

    • GAMEDAY: Essendon

      It’s Game Day, and the Demons are staring down the barrel of an 0-5 start for the first time since 2012 as they take on Essendon at Adelaide Oval for Gather Round. In that forgettable season, Melbourne finally broke their drought by toppling the Bombers. Can lightning strike twice? Will the Dees turn their nightmare start around and breathe life back into 2025?

        • Like
      • 723 replies
      Demonland
      Demonland
    View All