The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Biffen 12,937]

Geelong is like a smaller ,more scummy Melbourne without any discernable intelligentsia .Or any at all. 

The best part about going to Geelong is leaving it 

 

[picket fence 16,818]

Hey Uncle Bitter, I reckon Romsey would be as cold as a mother in laws kiss today! I hope you have several tons of logs on the fire and enjoying your usual cut price quaffer! 

Edited April 9, 2017 by picket fence

[Moonshadow 17,602]

6 minutes ago, picket fence said:

Hey Uncle Bitter, I reckon Romsey would be as cold as a mother in laws kiss today! I hope you have several tons of logs on the fire and enjoying your usual cut price quaffer! 

There's a rumour going around that uncle bitter is a naturalist (a very cold naturalist) and he might Skype Grapeviney and Andy for this week's podcast. In that case, let's hope he doesn't sit too far back from the ipad

[Bitter but optimistic 22,136]

17 hours ago, picket fence said:

Hey Uncle Bitter, I reckon Romsey would be as cold as a mother in laws kiss today! I hope you have several tons of logs on the fire and enjoying your usual cut price quaffer! 

You know nothing about fine living picket.

Logs!!! FMD!! One simply adjusts the climate control.

And.. I'll have you know I only quaff good quality booze. (usually anyway... well sometimes)

[pineapple dee 2,892]

On 07/04/2017 at 6:56 PM, Moonshadow said:

And then the punches flew, and chairs were smashed in two! 

There was blood and a single gunshot but just who shot who ?????  I'll bet you Jack Watts was involved in it !!!!!!

[Earl Hood 6,067]

2 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

There was blood and a single gunshot but just who shot who ?????  I'll bet you Jack Watts was involved in it !!!!!!

Is this a remake of Who shot Liberty Valence? 

[bjDee 1,249]

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Is this a remake of Who shot Liberty Valence? 

It's something about the Carlton Banner. Or the Crows Banner. Or a coconut banana.  Something like that I think. 

[Moonshadow 17,602]

A woman says to the mortician, "I've got my husband here in his very best blue suit, but what I'd really appreciate is if you could have him in a black suit for the funeral. Here's a blank check, use whatever you need, I just want him in a black suit."

The mortician agrees and thanks the woman and then she leaves. Now a second woman comes in and says, "I know I've brought my husband wearing a black suit, but I've always really loved him in blue. Is there any way you can have him in a blue suit for his funeral?"

The mortician assures her that it's not a problem and the second woman thanks him and leaves. A few days later the mortician shows up at the first man's funeral and his widow walks up and says, "Thank you so much for doing this. My husband looks wonderful in the black suit you found him."

The mortician replies, "Of course, I was happy to do it. And here's your check back."

"No, I really appreciate it and I want to pay you, just take whatever you need."

"Oh no really, it didn't cost me anything. You see, right after you came in a woman showed up with her husband in a black suit and she wanted him wearing blue. So in the end all I had to do was switch the heads."

Edited April 13, 2017 by Moonshadow

[daisycutter 29,451]

you need help, moonie

help to find a good gag

Edited April 13, 2017 by daisycutter

[Bitter but optimistic 22,136]

2 hours ago, daisycutter said:

you need help, moonie

help to find a good gag

Actually dc, given the standard of Moonie's jokes, that one is a real thigh slapper.

[daisycutter 29,451]

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Actually dc, given the standard of Moonie's jokes, that one is a real thigh slapper.

who ever heard of anyone in the undertaking business returning a cheque, blank or not?

[Biffen 12,937]

That was a painful undertaking for us all thanks Moon.

 

[Bitter but optimistic 22,136]

48 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

who ever heard of anyone in the undertaking business returning a cheque, blank or not?

 

41 minutes ago, Biffen said:

That was a painful undertaking for us all thanks Moon.

 

Let's just bury it now.

[Biffen 12,937]

As a Comedic performer,nobody is more qualified to talk about death than our Moon.

[Moonshadow 17,602]

1 hour ago, Biffen said:

As a Comedic performer,nobody is more qualified to talk about death than our Moon.

I'm mortified you think that way Biffen.

[Red and Bluebeard 2,081]

29 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

I'm mortified you think that way Biffen.

That's a bit stiff, even for Biff.

[Moonshadow 17,602]

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar together. It was tense...

[Maple Demon 449]

10 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar together. It was tense...

I think you need a beverage.?

[Redleg 40,445]

Think we need to win this one!

Pretty profound in the midst of all this side splitting mirth.

Edited April 14, 2017 by Redleg

[Bitter but optimistic 22,136]

Oh dear, and I had such high hopes for yesterday.

I should have read the omens when a teenage couple sat near me on the train in from Scumbury and I was mesmerised by the young lady spending most of the journey squeezing pimples on her boyfriend's face.

Still there was hope because I knew my uncouth hangers on weren't attending. Then there were the two shabbily dressed and smelly fellows

scurrying about on their knees stealing  children's Easter Eggs. (Special and Squirrel I'm guessing)

And then there was the football. Despite guzzling a gutfull I couldn't dull that particular pain.

Ugh! Just thinking about!

Haven't been so disappointed in a game since .... well since last week.

[dpositive 1,662]

Similar feelings BBO but not so prevalent with obvious omens.

Isolated myself from the festivities of Beechworth where friends had gathered. Didn't locate to the local match to maintain focus on the match which was at least being broadcast on the ABC.

Disruption as others returned meant I missed the sequence of events from a 21 point lead to a 6 point deficit!

 

I blame myself.

So much optimism. so little reward?

Champion teams find a way to win. (Look at the doggies this week)

We just need to find that feature but at least we are getting closer.

 

is there any point in flogging the obvious?

[beelzebub 23,254]

dont think I will either !!

[Redleg 40,445]

21 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

dont think I will either !!

And the AFL do nothing about this abuse.

[DemonFrog 1,347]

On 14/04/2017 at 8:36 PM, Redleg said:

Think we need to win this one!

Pretty profound in the midst of all this side splitting mirth.

Red, how many days until the 2018 AFL season starts?

[Biffen 12,937]

Ive swallowed dozens of those in Asia .Didn't cost me anything.