Carrot Top

They've gone backwards at a huge rate of knots too. Doesn't excuse where we are.

And the media harped on and on and on about how he was the #1 pick and yet we hadn't played him. You don't see them reminding us of that fact. He was damned no matter what we did. We might not have handled it the best, but we were one small part of the circus that went on about that boy.

We've gone backwards. We've got this wonderful fitness regime and they look tired and slow. They're s'posed to be learning how to beat the other team at hardball gets and look soft. They're meant to be undergoing a culture makeover and they look disinterested and lost. We'd be better off putting them on a beer and pizza diet and letting them play the positions they feel like: it couldn't be any worse.

This wizz bang fitness kick seems to have stolen the zip out of a couple of them. I hope it's not permanent but I am starting to worry.

Yep. Packers fans are called (and call themselves) Cheeseheads. They can do it because of the way the team handles itself on the field. We couldn't do that. Geelong could. Winners are grinners, and all that. We can brand and re-brand all we like, but until we win games we'll be on the nose.

It was the applause at the end of the second that threw him.

Nothing at all. It's either more BS or more evidence of a broken setup. So I assume that you'll be coaching next year?

You're a [censored].

Do you think this is just about today? Do you really think that? Did you think - like the MFC admin did - that Schwab's head was going to make up for every other piece of inept management this club has suffered through? How many more coaches? How many more re-builds? How many more broken promises and lies will it take you to wake up and realise that the fish has rotted from the head down?

When you call for heads it's a good thing but when we do it it's bad? You're a joke, and not even a funny one.

No it wasn't. I didn't think it at the time, and now with this I'm certain. Nom nom nom nom.

That's incredibly funny and tragic all at once.

Welcome to Hell, Peter.

Who knew isn't the issue. Who decided that coving it up was a good idea is the one I want in the gun.

On February 5, a spokeswoman for Melbourne issued the following brief statement to the Herald Sun newspaper: "He applied for a job at the club late last year but he was unsuccessful. He has never had any direct contact with the players." http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-04-18/text-messages-reveal-danks-demons-involvement/4637954

They lied. That's the problem. I don't care if they were injecting milk. They bloody well lied. It's all this bloody regime can do: lie and balls everything up. They could have taken a slight PR hit and said he'd done some work with us but it was all approved stuff, and we aren't going to use him again, but no. They went and bloody well lied and now we look (even more) shonky and incompetent. They're a bloody embarrassment to anyone who cares about the club.

Mate, no one is trying to kill us off. We're committing suicide on the instalment plan.

Imagine how bad we'd be if we still had him? Yeetch!

You need to remember the ace in the hole: the NRL. They won't sit back and let the AFL get away with it when they've been slapped. Hird may be covered by some fall guys at Essendon, but someone will pay for this.

Not trying to be smart, but what the hell is his position? He can't play forward, and he isn't accountable as a backman. He gets lost on flanks and hasn't the presence to be spine player. So what is he? An expensive linkman that goes to pieces if tagged? I put it out there that Watts is out of confidence because he's out of his depth in the AFL. He just isn't cut out for it because he hasn't got it inside to handle the pressure it brings. Shame, and God knows I backed his first few years, but it is what it is and no amount of polish is going to change that.

Quite possibly the funniest collection of words in the football world. And right now I don't care if Watts walks (or we throw him out). He's a ballerina. He should be doing that on a Saturday afternoon rather than embarrassing him and us by pretending to play a contact sport. He was a waste of a good pick and the only thing of note he'll do in his football career is be a trivia question at our expense in years to come.

I don't want to shock you but I think we might have a couple of blokes down our club that fit that description.

Man. they said that about us a couple of years ago. How about we wait until Richmond actually makes the finals before we declare them the yardstick?

Another kid to ruin? Sure. Hell, I'll take 3.

If we want the best then we just need to recruit in the complete opposite way to what we've been doing all these years. If we decide someone is perfect for the job then put a line through his name. If someone looks like they are the worst possible choice then hire them. Easy peasy and we certainly couldn't do worse.