Skip to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Demonland

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

The No T$ No B$ Thread

Featured Replies

3 hours ago, hemingway said:

Strongly recommend pineapples indeed any fruit other than bananas. If you are tempted to have a banana after reading posts on this thread you know it's time to go cold turkey. Also time to go cold turkey if you start to develop an affectionate feeling toward any of the posters, one in particular. And, if after a period of time, you begin to feel this is normal, you definitely need to seek medical advice.  

Written from first hand experience Ernie?

Edited by Moonshadow

 
3 hours ago, hemingway said:

Strongly recommend pineapples indeed any fruit other than bananas. If you are tempted to have a banana after reading posts on this thread you know it's time to go cold turkey. Also time to go cold turkey if you start to develop an affectionate feeling toward any of the posters, one in particular. And, if after a period of time, you begin to feel this is normal, you definitely need to seek medical advice.  

If any of these things happen, my first step will be to up the medication. If that proves ineffective, a course of ECT could help. Perhaps I'll take a holiday........... maybe Aleppo or Wangaratta might be good. Seems popular at the moment.

31 minutes ago, pineapple dee said:

If any of these things happen, my first step will be to up the medication. If that proves ineffective, a course of ECT could help. Perhaps I'll take a holiday........... maybe Aleppo or Wangaratta might be good. Seems popular at the moment.

I've been to Wangaratta best you try Aleppo. The falafel is best no shatta.

Edited by ManDee

 
57 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Written from first hand experience Ernie?

Like my novels, my writing is fictional Moon, from a foundation of personal experience. I no longer use traditional medicinal therapies as i have no time for the pharmaceutical companies. There are other therapies that are much more effective but I draw the line at thrashings or floggings. 

1 minute ago, hemingway said:

Like my novels, my writing is fictional Moon, from a foundation of personal experience. I no longer use traditional medicinal therapies as i have no time for the pharmaceutical companies. There are other therapies that are much more effective but I draw the line at thrashings or floggings. 

Single malt?


17 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

Not long ago I read this thread and I was concerned because I didn't have the first clue what youse were on about.

Now I'm actually  more worried because I'm reading this thread  and I think I actually get it. In my addled mind that is more of a worry.

200.gif

35 minutes ago, ManDee said:

I've been to Wangaratta best you try Aleppo. The falafel is best no shatta.

As long as I can get a shawarma and a can of coke, i will go there.

 
22 minutes ago, ManDee said:

Single malt?

You have hit the solution ManDee.

The elixir that cures all.

6 minutes ago, old dee said:

You have hit the solution ManDee.

The elixir that cures all.

Good, send some to Stuie


5 minutes ago, ManDee said:

Good, send some to Stuie

The ultimate test!

Of course you can lead a horse to water however .....

Edited by old dee

4 hours ago, hemingway said:

Like my novels, my writing is fictional Moon, from a foundation of personal experience. I no longer use traditional medicinal therapies as i have no time for the pharmaceutical companies. There are other therapies that are much more effective but I draw the line at thrashings or floggings. 

Ernie, if you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much room!

3 hours ago, old dee said:

The ultimate test!

Of course you can lead a horse to water however .....

Therein lies the problem, Stuie's horse is so high it can't lower itself enough to drink. 

6 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

If any of these things happen, my first step will be to up the medication. If that proves ineffective, a course of ECT could help. Perhaps I'll take a holiday........... maybe Aleppo or Wangaratta might be good. Seems popular at the moment.

Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in? 

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in? 

This trip does appeal. I am usually selective about who I travel with. Can you assure me that there are no dangerous deviates in the party. I speak Italian if that helps and I can say " you are beautiful" in Arabic. ( and "thank you" ) . 


Just now, pineapple dee said:

This trip does appeal. I am usually selective about who I travel with. Can you assure me that there are no dangerous deviates in the party. I speak Italian if that helps and I can say " you are beautiful" in Arabic. ( and "thank you" ) . 

can't imagine you'd ever get the chance on one of earl's odysseys to ever utter those phrases. still i'm sure we can teach you new (appropriate) ones

31 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

can't imagine you'd ever get the chance on one of earl's odysseys to ever utter those phrases. still i'm sure we can teach you new (appropriate) ones

When staying in the shared lodgings organised by Earl on this trip, how does one say "get that broomstick out of my back" in Arabic?

On ‎9‎/‎5‎/‎2016 at 7:44 PM, Earl Hood said:

Aleppo PD? There are still seats available on my Cairo to Constantinople Grand Tour. Aleppo or what's left of it anyway, is one of the scenic highlights of this trip of a lifetime, however short that might be. Can I count you in? 

As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

 

Edited by Bitter but optimistic

12 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

 

Nothing to see here I am afraid Uncle, just meticulous contingency planning on my part. 

Of course we want our customers to have the full Cairo to Constantinople Middle East   Desert experience. They have asked to have the full Lawrance of Arabia experience, camping in Bedouin huts, riding a camel through Wadi Rum and charging into Aqaba and so on. To make this happen I often need to stay in the nearest major city to negotiate our way with the local governors. Choncita, the administrator, extraordinaire makes it all happen of course. We are all about customer service you know. 

13 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

As you know Earl, I am not one to spread gossip.

However, it has come to my notice (from another of the genteel class) that the travel equivalent of a Ponzi scheme was being administered from the heart of Hipsterland by a  fellow with disreputable Caribbean interests.

An hirstute former virgin from Spain is apparently making Five star bookings for two across your proposed route while at the same time organising some mud huts with camel dung stoves in the same locales.

I'm sure it's only scurrilous chatter Earl but  thought I'd mention it.

 

Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.


18 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

Of course you wouldn't understand Moonie. A far more simple register is used when addressing (as one must on occasion) knuckle dragging vulgarians such as yourself and Biffen.

You will note that Earl Hood, a gentleman of culture and refinement, had no difficulty in understanding my erudite epistle.

20 hours ago, Moonshadow said:

Jeezus you speak some indecipherable bs some time Bitters.

dont refer to him as the saviour....he already has a 'complex" ^_^

Good morning genii !

I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

 
2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Good morning genii !

I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

tram 109    stop 127

In your dressed down camouflage and assuming you will travel to Spencer Street; then pop across road and catch the Port Melbourne tram. There is a stop assigned for the oval. Should not trouble one such as yourself too much !!

Edited by beelzebub

4 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Good morning genii !

I intend (weather permitting) toddling off to the prelim final next Sunday. Casey v Willy.

I believe it is to be played at Northport Oval. Is that the Port Melb footy ground?

I don't wish to take the merc so I shall dress up as a peasant and take pubic transport.

Could one of you inner urbanites tell me what mode of said transport will get me closest to North Port Oval.

ps  Don't let Biffen know or he shall want to tag along and ruin a potentially pleasant afternoon.

I suggest you take your helicopter and land on the ground, in the style of Peter Hudson, with a team of pompom waving cheerleaders escorting you to your seat.


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • NON-MFC: Round 01

    With Opening Round done and dusted, Round 1 sees the full AFL competition finally swing into action for 2026. Discuss all the games this week that do not involve the Dees, share your tips, and let us know which results would suit Demons best.

      • Like
    • 23 replies
  • PODCAST: 2026 Season Preview

    The boys previewed the 2026 Season sharing their early impressions of the new coach, the new players, observations from preseason training, and what they've made of the new game style. They also look ahead to the season with their predictions, the players they expect to rise, their expectations for the team, and what they see as a realistic pass mark for Melbourne in 2026.

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Like
    • 14 replies
  • PREVIEW: St. Kilda

    When the Demons blew their 46-point lead at Marvel Stadium in Round 20 last year, the fallout was enormous. Like an event straight out of a Shakespearean tragedy, Melbourne’s final-quarter collapse left fans reeling and the club grappling with the aftermath. 

      • Clap
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 5 replies
  • PREGAME: St. Kilda

    With just over two weeks until their opening match of the 2026 AFL Premiership season, the Demons are already well on the path to redemption and have the Saints firmly in their sights ahead of their mid-March clash at the MCG. What do you think the team will look like when they run out on to the G?

      • Clap
      • Love
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 448 replies
  • NON-MFC: 2026 Opening Round

    Finally the 2026 AFL Premiership Season is upon us. While Melbourne sits out Opening Round, there is still plenty of footy to enjoy with five non-MFC clashes to kick off the new season. It all begins on Thursday night with a blockbuster at the SCG as Sydney hosts Carlton in what should be a strong early test for both sides. On Friday night, Gold Coast gets its chance to open the season in front of a home crowd when the Suns and Christian Petracca take on Geelong at People First Stadium. Saturday features a double-header, starting in the afternoon with Greater Western Sydney and Clayton Oliver meeting the Hawks at Engie Stadium. That is followed on Saturday night by Brisbane Lions hosting the Western Bulldogs at the Gabba, with the Lions embarking on their campaign to win the Threepeat. Opening Round wraps up on Sunday night at the MCG, where St Kilda takes on Collingwood in the only game in town in the first week of the season. There is no shortage of storylines across the round, so discuss all the action from the non-MFC games of Opening Round.

      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 557 replies
  • REPORT: Richmond

    Mars is not usually a place known for lighting strikes but on Friday evening it happened twice in the vicinity of the stadium in Ballarat that carries the name and is a half completed building site with limited capacity for spectators.

      • Love
      • Thanks
      • Like
    • 4 replies

Account

Navigation

Search

Search

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.