13 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Good morning all  Yes there were some misunderstandings at immigration but your intrepid Uncle Bitter is on the loose in Bejing. I am having some communication issues - Google is not in favour and it seems demonland is ,rightly, on the subversive sites list.

I have already had to show some local coolies my quirt  to get them hopping but now proper order has been restored and "Uncle" is being properly attended to. Although it took 6 of the lazy beggars to carry me up the Great Wall. I had a good look around but I couldn't find where those utes come from

I wonder if Great Wall is an ancestor of picket fence?

Btw Earl - a further cash advance is required!

Btw Biffen  I am handing out your cards to prospective employeesy

Must go there are some armed soldiers heading in my direction

Uncle, 1000 Bitcons sent through to your account as requested. Spend them wisely. 

14 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I wonder if Great Wall is an ancestor of picket fence?

FFS - you mean previous generations dynasties have been put though this same [censored] erudite stuff as well?

On 6/12/2016 at 8:37 PM, Rusty Nails said:

D u may well be right. Although some of us may have already mutated after partaking too often in some of these alternatives and might now be immune! Also if you consume enough red (or white or anything with grapes as a base) I'm sure most of the nasty "thingies" would have trouble surviving the massive dose of sulphur dioxide that accompanies such delights! That stuff could kill a rhino depending on the dose

Ahh that explains my own immunity. I am pleased that a life time of indulgence has proven of some worth. My father always thought that wine drinking was a grandiose and wasted time when there was plenty of beer. He is still a very healthy and active 89 so could it just be the alcohol?

Will have to research this more fully in Sydney as a small group of supporters head north for the next encounter unfortunately thats as far as my limited budget will allow.

Was pleased to see the Earl has transferred bitcoins and now appreciate the name as the association with BbO ( I dont feel familiar enough to call him Uncle) who I recognised as one of the many on this thread with insight and judgement beyond my own flimsy and tawdry  ability.

I have travelled to the China  years ago and on an expedition to the Great Wall was advised by my guide that the wily Chinese were building a new wall for the Japanese visitors as the real wall was too far from Beijing and their tiny legs could not cope with the original warrior steps. It was an interesting tale which I treated with my usual disdain, however  I am wondering if there was some truth in that statement?

On 6/13/2016 at 8:58 AM, Bitter but optimistic said:

Must go there are some armed soldiers heading in my direction

Good to see you're in stealth mode with the 'weeks growth' Bitters - you'll definitely blend in! ...the latest from CCTV captured from Beijing..:

{Picture captured courtesy of and thanks to surveillance work via Cafe Beijing via Redlegs Cruise - Crystal Serenity docked in San Fran via Redleg} ps. Good work Redleg.

 

omg

Well, that was not what I expected when I opened this thread.

Lucky my boss wasn't walking past.

1 hour ago, Choke said:

Well, that was not what I expected when I opened this thread.

Lucky my boss wasn't walking past.

I know..I wasn't expecting a Suzuki either!

nice to see uncle bitters has lost a bit of weight and that his fungus looks cleared up. surprised he allowed himself to be photographed without makeup though.

8 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

nice to see uncle bitters has lost a bit of weight and that his fungus looks cleared up. surprised he allowed himself to be photographed without makeup though.

 He did a great job getting his flag through homophobic Chinese customs.

Uncle Bitters' Hair transplants seem to have taken hold also.

Disappointing fashion sense. Surely white socks are a pre-requisite with those sandles!

6 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Uncle Bitters' Hair transplants seem to have taken hold also.

He is a master of disguise BB, he spent some time with Bert Newton and Patty; many afternoon delights.

Think Mission Impossible. Although I believe he's had trouble with the exploding gum, hence his penchant for wigs.

4 hours ago, H_T said:

Good to see you're in stealth mode with the 'weeks growth' Bitters - you'll definitely blend in! ...the latest from CCTV captured from Beijing..:

{Picture captured courtesy of and thanks to surveillance work via Cafe Beijing via Redlegs Cruise - Crystal Serenity docked in San Fran via Redleg} ps. Good work Redleg.

 

can we please stick to written posts and avoid pictures, they are difficult to stomach at times and this one may be doing Uncle Bitters a great disservice, although it did occur that he may be flattered with this one with the exception of the bike and flag.  

20 minutes ago, hemingway said:

can we please stick to written posts and avoid pictures, they are difficult to stomach at times and this one may be doing Uncle Bitters a great disservice, although it did occur that he may be flattered with this one with the exception of the bike and flag.  

Sometimes pictures help tell us a thousand words Ernest. 

And I reckon that would be Bitters shirt; he doesn't mind catching a few rays on the Suzuki.

That's not Bitters. Much too young. Might be his son though....

3 hours ago, beelzebub said:

Uncle Bitters' Hair transplants seem to have taken hold also.

No transplant BB, prolific hair re growth is one of the side effects of using Guava paste, just rub the magic G paste into the scalp twice a day and yeah, yeah, we have advanced hair! Obviously Uncle has been using my marketing samples of G powder meant for China on his own head, unbeknownst to my good self who has just sent off a money advance to him in China. God knows what he is actually selling to the locals. 

On 14 June 2016 at 10:07 AM, H_T said:

Good to see you're in stealth mode with the 'weeks growth' Bitters - you'll definitely blend in! ...the latest from CCTV captured from Beijing..:

{Picture captured courtesy of and thanks to surveillance work via Cafe Beijing via Redlegs Cruise - Crystal Serenity docked in San Fran via Redleg} ps. Good work Redleg.

 

That is not my good self! However I shall forgive an honest mistake H as the fellow has a very impressive physique and bears a similar striking pose. I do not usually bare my bosoms in such a tawdry display however.

Uncle is currently in Shanghai after a very exciting trip on the fast train. A  couple of the local coolies thought they could take my seat but after I let loose with some flatulence that had been bubbling away for a day or two the beggars soon jolly well scattered  Admist a storm of gagging and chocking sounds I might add - bwahaha bwahahaha - dammed funny moment. Anyway it provided a seat for both myself and my guts.

Earl , I have been promoting your products in establishments that provide   .... Err ..  personal services   It has been quite  expensive so a further advance is required  I am sure your investment will be returned manyfold

11 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

That is not my good self! However I shall forgive an honest mistake H as the fellow has a very impressive physique and bears a similar striking pose. I do not usually bare my bosoms in such a tawdry display however.

Uncle is currently in Shanghai after a very exciting trip on the fast train. A  couple of the local coolies thought they could take my seat but after I let loose with some flatulence that had been bubbling away for a day or two the beggars soon jolly well scattered  Admist a storm of gagging and chocking sounds I might add - bwahaha bwahahaha - dammed funny moment. Anyway it provided a seat for both myself and my guts.

Earl , I have been promoting your products in establishments that provide   .... Err ..  personal services   It has been quite  expensive so a further advance is required  I am sure your investment will be returned manyfold

Uncle, glad to hear you are now in Shanghai, one of our better potential markets hey? However on other matters, can you please supply receipts for expenses incurred so far and a list of clients you have presented to? I need to produce a cost benefit report before I feel confident to approach the Board about extending yet further funds to our Chinese marketing venture. As it is I am facing some serious questions from our financial auditors about your expenses Incurred so far and the Chairman has actually caste doubt on your credibility as a sales representative. 

Decent set of 'fun bags'

On 14/06/2016 at 8:23 PM, Earl Hood said:

No transplant BB, prolific hair re growth is one of the side effects of using Guava paste, just rub the magic G paste into the scalp twice a day and yeah, yeah, we have advanced hair! Obviously Uncle has been using my marketing samples of G powder meant for China on his own head, unbeknownst to my good self who has just sent off a money advance to him in China. God knows what he is actually selling to the locals. 

i heard he was recently seen at a private bank in berne, earl. might pay you to do a little auditing if you were looking at any profit

On 30 May 2016 at 7:27 PM, picket fence said:

4 hours ago, daisycutter said:

i heard he was recently seen at a private bank in berne, earl. might pay you to do a little auditing if you were looking at any profit

Daisy having lived in Switzerland for some time, I can tell you that Bitters would not get into the country. And if by chance he did the Swiss are very good at sending unwanted folks back to their own country post haste. Don't forget, the Swiss are very conservative, law abiding citizens who don't take kindly to difference. Having said all that, Swiss standards have changed since the migration of workers from other countries so that perhaps Bitters could be mistaken for a foreign worker. Unfortunately most foreign workers have dark skins. If Bitters is in Suisse, he could be back in town very quickly on the next available flight. Unless, he gets into the country as an artist or entertainer.  

 

12 hours ago, Earl Hood said:

Uncle, glad to hear you are now in Shanghai, one of our better potential markets hey? However on other matters, can you please supply receipts for expenses incurred so far and a list of clients you have presented to? I need to produce a cost benefit report before I feel confident to approach the Board about extending yet further funds to our Chinese marketing venture. As it is I am facing some serious questions from our financial auditors about your expenses Incurred so far and the Chairman has actually caste doubt on your credibility as a sales representative. 

Earl, Earl ! Come now, we are visionaries and entrepreneurs- let lesser mortals ( Hudson comes to mind) concern themselves with petty paperwork! It is the big picture for us  

It has all been fingers to the bone here and your money is being well spent   However, it does not do to appear as a pauper and I am only dealing withe highest class establishments. I have been wonderfully innovative with your guava paste and amazed the locals.

 Another $5000 should see me through and just watch the orders roll in

PS please transfer to my Swiss account

Yours in trust

Bitter

9 hours ago, hemingway said:

 

ernie, you should know that behind closed doors the swiss are well known for their umm...how should i say... their .. eccentric proclivities (no doubt inherited from their decadent germanic genes). uncle bitters would be welcome so long as he could remain discrete when not behind said closed doors (which may be asking too much of him).

Ernie, Entertaining is his game. No problem for Bitters, he'll blend in and go in unnoticed in Switzerland. Like the time as a late teen in his modelling days...the judges couldn't pick him!

Big pecs but not much in the lunchbox if that is Bitters. Perhaps that explains his constant references to floggings and other depravities.  However, I suspect that our constant reference to Bitters on this thread only feeds an already healthy ego and only encourages him to exaggerate his tales. They do make for entertaining reading but is this good for anyone?