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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Featured Replies

47 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

You are not turning old and cynical and, dare I say it, "bitter" are you OD?

 

Well I suppose you can't turn old. But what about cynical and bitter?

Yes, yes and some days Bbo

 
5 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Don't worry DC we will meet plenty of Bedouins on our grand Cairo to Constantinople tour. We are due to head off in August, a balmy 45C by day, so bring the sun screen. I hope you are reading up on your Middle Eastern medieval history for our tour. 

Have you booked in any stonings of immoral sheilas Earl? This could influence my attendance.

12 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

Don't worry DC we will meet plenty of Bedouins on our grand Cairo to Constantinople tour. We are due to head off in August, a balmy 45C by day, so bring the sun screen. I hope you are reading up on your Middle Eastern medieval history for our tour. 

i trust you are not planning to fly air egypt, earl

 
10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Have you booked in any stonings of immoral sheilas Earl? This could influence my attendance.

i'm sure that will present no problems in saudi arabia, bbo, as i'm sure earl could further tempt you with a [censored] fight or two as a prelude to some authentic belly dancing

 

Edited by daisycutter
seems a synonym for rooster is banned....how odd

2 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

i trust you are not planning to fly air egypt, earl

Yes this has now become a problem, how do we safely get to the starting point, Cairo! I may have to bring forward the starting date of the tour because we may now have to go by boat to Port Said, that will mean we have to leave about a month earlier than first thought.

I am also determined to push on from Constantinople to meet up with Hemingway and Uncle Bitters in Spain in time for the running of the Bulls! This is turning into a logistical nightmare I admit.

Anyone heard from Bossdog by the way, I had him pencilled in to be forward point for the tour through Syria to pick up on the odd IED before our tour arrives. 


12 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

i'm sure that will present no problems in saudi arabia, bbo, as i'm sure earl could further tempt you with a [censored] fight or two as a prelude to some authentic belly dancing

 

The thing is dc, a stoning would have to be tasteful and well organised before I'd be interested.. You know we'd want front row seats and plenty of coldies ( can't risk dehydration in those parts). And we would need someone reliable to hold the bets. You know, " I'll give 5 to 1 that that Abdul's next yonnie takes out her left eye."

I hope Earl Hood has considered the potential needs of his clients.

Etihad fly to Cairo,the 14 hours to Abu Dhabi then the 4 hours to Cairo are still more tolerable than watching a game at the stadium with the same name.

Not thinking flying around Egypt has quite the same attraction currently.

 
On ‎19‎/‎05‎/‎2016 at 9:21 PM, Earl Hood said:

Yes this has now become a problem, how do we safely get to the starting point, Cairo! I may have to bring forward the starting date of the tour because we may now have to go by boat to Port Said, that will mean we have to leave about a month earlier than first thought.

I am also determined to push on from Constantinople to meet up with Hemingway and Uncle Bitters in Spain in time for the running of the Bulls! This is turning into a logistical nightmare I admit.

Anyone heard from Bossdog by the way, I had him pencilled in to be forward point for the tour through Syria to pick up on the odd IED before our tour arrives. 

No worries Earl........Just need time to put my artificial legs on.    I am an expert at finding bombs

34 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Not thinking flying around Egypt has quite the same attraction currently.

not at all

happy.gifhappy.gif
happy.gifhappy.gif
happy.gifhappy.gif

 


The best way to travel Egypt is to float about in De Nile.

Or so I tell myself.

14 minutes ago, Biffen said:

The best way to travel Egypt is to float about in De Nile.

Or so I tell myself.

You're just in De niall !!

On Tuesday, 17 May 2016 at 7:19 AM, Bitter but optimistic said:

I'm 148.   IQ that is.

Thanks d+ for clarifying your results. Ladder updated accordingly (and I'm happy to be 'bumped'!):

1. daisycutter                               68

2. old dee                                      67

3. dpositive                                   64

4. Timothy Reddan A’Blew        61

5. Beelzebub                                 56

6. bjDEE                                         54

7. Red and Bluebeard                 LII

 

BBO, your number is impressive, whatever it applies to. On the trend towards plausibility, though - from age, through IQ - I'm pondering the truth: girth? But, on the strength of it, the Number 2 Ticket Holder in our little old league is yours. Hemingway, though only 116, is deceased - and famous - so he holds Number 1, posthumously. 

23 minutes ago, Timothy Reddan-A'Blew said:

Thanks d+ for clarifying your results. Ladder updated accordingly (and I'm happy to be 'bumped'!):

1. daisycutter                               68

 

2. old dee                                      67

 

3. dpositive                                   64

 

4. Timothy Reddan A’Blew        61

 

5. Beelzebub                                 56

 

6. bjDEE                                         54

 

7. Red and Bluebeard                 LII

 

BBO, your number is impressive, whatever it applies to. On the trend towards plausibility, though - from age, through IQ - I'm pondering the truth: girth? But, on the strength of it, the Number 2 Ticket Holder in our little old league is yours. Hemingway, though only 116, is deceased - and famous - so he holds Number 1, posthumously. 

Thanks Timothy, very decent of you. Remember though that although there is a very short material life, the spiritual life is ever present and ever lasting. As time has passed I believe that most of us connected by the eternal spirit soul. Even Bitters.

9 hours ago, hemingway said:

Thanks Timothy, very decent of you. Remember though that although there is a very short material life, the spiritual life is ever present and ever lasting. As time has passed I believe that most of us connected by the eternal spirit soul. Even Bitters.

Your time would have been longer had you not decided to blow your own head off in the study.

You did manage to produce a beautiful grand daughter ,Mariel ,who starred in some terrible movies.

I think she topped herself  ,which we can blame you for also.

Edit:it was her sister Margaux ,which you never would have known ,as you were dead.

Unfortunately for you your own father and siblings were lemmings as well.

On that cheery note ,i might go read some Kafka or Orwell to brighten things up.

Edited by Biffen
Too many dead Hemmingways


2 hours ago, Biffen said:

Your time would have been longer had you not decided to blow your own head off in the study.

You did manage to produce a beautiful grand daughter ,Mariel ,who starred in some terrible movies.

I think she topped herself  ,which we can blame you for also.

Edit:it was her sister Margaux ,which you never would have known ,as you were dead.

Unfortunately for you your own father and siblings were lemmings as well.

On that cheery note ,i might go read some Kafka or Orwell to brighten things up.

You are such a compassionate and sensitive soul Biffen. Such thoughtful and caring words. 

I have just completed a comprehensive task risk assessment and a triple bottom line analysis of my proposed Cairo to Constantinople odyssey. Looks like it is dead in the water. Can't find an insurer to take us on I am afraid. I am now proposing a boat trip from Cairo to Constantinople. How we actually get to Cairo is still worrying me but leave it with me. 

4 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

I have just completed a comprehensive task risk assessment and a triple bottom line analysis of my proposed Cairo to Constantinople odyssey. Looks like it is dead in the water. Can't find an insurer to take us on I am afraid. I am now proposing a boat trip from Cairo to Constantinople. How we actually get to Cairo is still worrying me but leave it with me. 

Via Syria of course. That'll get the insurers excited.

insurance? [censored] pansy. i think earl has been nqr since his ill-fated away trip to cuba. needs a week or three down at casey

19 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

insurance? [censored] pansy. i think earl has been nqr since his ill-fated away trip to cuba. needs a week or three down at casey

LOL. I'm sure we can arrange a match report for that. And for a small fee we can provide such report in advance of the game.....


47 minutes ago, Moonshadow said:

Via Syria of course. That'll get the insurers excited.

 

52 minutes ago, Earl Hood said:

I have just completed a comprehensive task risk assessment and a triple bottom line analysis of my proposed Cairo to Constantinople odyssey. Looks like it is dead in the water. Can't find an insurer to take us on I am afraid. I am now proposing a boat trip from Cairo to Constantinople. How we actually get to Cairo is still worrying me but leave it with me. 

Thank god for the insurers otherwise there would be some Demonlanders missing in action next year and forever more. Sensible decision Earl. A boat trip with other Demonlanders may be a little cramped depending on who joins the trip. Perhaps 2 or 3 days in Constantinople may be sufficient with a mandatory trip to the steam baths for Bitters, Biffen and Picket. Frankly, Spain is looking better by the day, traveling overland through the Basque Country down to San Sebastián and down to Granada and Seville. Tequila, paella, senoritas and sunshine are a heady mix. And perhaps a bullfight for those wishing to get the full experience. No problems with insurers, however, lots of stamina is a prerequisite.

28 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

insurance? [censored] pansy. i think earl has been nqr since his ill-fated away trip to cuba. needs a week or three down at casey

Got shares in the caterers down that way, DC? Sounds like you want to get him into an egg-and-bacon roll eating contest with bjDee ... :lol::)

Edited by Red and Bluebeard

1 hour ago, Earl Hood said:

I have just completed a comprehensive task risk assessment and a triple bottom line analysis of my proposed Cairo to Constantinople odyssey. Looks like it is dead in the water. Can't find an insurer to take us on I am afraid. I am now proposing a boat trip from Cairo to Constantinople. How we actually get to Cairo is still worrying me but leave it with me. 

Earl, it comes as no surprise, of course, for one of your class, but you are clearly showing the tendency to make this trip a combination of a section of the Odyssey and the voyage of the bogan terrorists setting off in their tinny for the Middle East. Perhaps we could throw in the original Kon Tiki as well, so that all of the world's great sea voyages can be celebrated by recreating portion of them on Earl's Boat Tour of Middle-Eastern Hotspots. Sounds like you should organise the route to Cairo to include a close look at the pirate-laden waters off Sudan, and a search for the land of Prester John as well. For a small extra fee, perhaps go looking for the Holy Grail while you are at it ... 

 
7 minutes ago, Red and Bluebeard said:

Got shares in the caterers down that way, DC? Sounds like you want to get him into an egg-and-bacon roll eating contest with bjDee ... :lol::)

I'm quite into the E&B rolls, as D'landers would know.  But there's no way I will eat a catheter. 

Just now, bjDee said:

I'm quite into the E&B rolls, as D'landers would know.  But there's no way I will eat a catheter. 

I thought the E&B rolls went into you, not the other way around ... :lol:


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