Some Filth Humour

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

I'm reassured by the vitriol, abuse and insults that are being levelled at the filth.

Any demonlanders considering supporting them this week should be given a jolly good thrashing.

[Bobby McKenzie 2,180]

24 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

I'm reassured by the vitriol, abuse and insults that are being levelled at the filth.

Any demonlanders considering supporting them this week should be given a jolly good thrashing.

Not if you live in Perth!!!!!! Exemption please.

[Deemania since 56 6,161]

2 hours ago, george_on_the_outer said:

Some good ones from "The Punt Road End", the Richmond fan site:

Why can't the police solve murders in Collingwood? Becasuse the DNA is all the same and there are no dental records.   Family of Collingwood supporters head off to do their Christmas Shoplifting.While in Rebel Sports store the son picks up a Tigers jumper & says to his 10year old sister, "Hey sis, I've decided to become a Tigers supporter & want this Richmond jumper for Christmas".His sister is outraged by this & promptly wacks him around the head with her carton of Winfield cigs & says "you loser,go talk to mum". Off goe's the lad with the Tiger jumper stuffed up his shirt & finds mum.'mum, I wanta be a Tigers supporter & I want this jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this & throws her moccasins & 1/2 full can of VB at him & says "we are gunna go talk to your father".Off they go to the prison camp during visiting hours,with footy jumper in hand & find Moose, his toothless, tattooed father. "Dad" "Yes knackers" "I've decided to be a Tigers supporter & want this Richmond jumper for Christmas"Moose goe's beserk & gives knackers a back hander & says,"No son of mine is gunna be seen wearing that crap"& then kicks his sons backside from one end of reco room to the other. 1/2 hour later they are heading back home in the old falcon when the mother turns to knackers & says,"Now, have you learnt anything today" The son says "bloody oath I have". "Good knackers, what would that be". The son replies, " I've only been a Tigers supporter for one day & already I hate you Collingwood mongrels".    Why did the Collingwood supporter cross the road? Centrelink was on the other side How do you inflict 12 months of acute pain on a Pies supporter? Buy them a membership for Christmas! What do u say to a Collingwood supporter with a job? I'll have fries with that thanks 2 Collingwood Supporters in a car without any music, who is driving? The Policeman What do you call a 30 yr old woman in a Collingwood jumper? Nanna You are trapped in a room with a crocodile, a tiger and a Collingwood fan. You have a gun with 2 bullets. What do you do? Shoot the Collingwood fan – Twice You know you're a Collingwood supporter when: 1. A Halloween pumpkin has more teeth than your wife does. 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. Jack Daniel's makes your list of 'most admired people.' 5. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 6. Someone in your family once died right after saying: 'Hey, watch this.' 7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 8. A ceiling fan once ruined your wife's hairdo. 9. You think the last words of Advance Australia Fair are: 'Carn the Maggies .' 10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded, right off its wheels. 11. The market value of your car goes up and down, depending on how much petrol is in it. 12. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 13. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 14. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 15. You think 'loaded dishwasher' means your wife is drunk. 16. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. 17. Your front veranda collapses and kills more than five dogs.   Three women with footy-fan husbands are discussing their relationships. The first says, "My husband follows the Lions and let me tell you our s3x life is like one premiership after another." The second says, "My husband is a Crows man and every night is like the back-to-back victories of 1997 and '98." They then look at their friend, who hasn't yet said a thing. "What's wrong," they say as their friend starts sobbing. "Well," she says hesitantly, "my husband supports Collingwood, and all he does is sit on the end of the bed and tell me how wonderful it's going to be."   A Collingwood supporter went down to Centrelink to claim welfare after realising she was the only one of her friends - (who were all Collingwood supporters) - who was not on benefits. "How many children do you have?" the man at Centrelink asked. "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" "Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn, Jaidyn and Jaidyn," she replied. "They're all named Jaidyn?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?” "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'Jaidyn,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'Jaidyn, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just use their last name."   Q. Did you know that the Toothbrush was invented in Collingwood? A.  if it was invented anywhere else it would be call Teethbrush

It took me some time to recover after most of these jokes. How perfect! 

[ManDee 7,089]

And to think if they insult us it's about skiing and Range Rovers. 

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

7 hours ago, Bobby McKenzie said:

Not if you live in Perth!!!!!! Exemption please.

That's the price you must pay for living in the colonies Bobby.

[My name is legion 158]

 

[La Dee-vina Comedia 16,460]

10 hours ago, My name is legion said:

 

Mick McGuane has stacked it on a bit.

[Moonshadow 16,237]

1 hour ago, La Dee-vina Comedia said:

Mick McGuane has stacked it on a bit.

Look at the size of his head. Snipers dream!

[La Dee-vina Comedia 16,460]

Why do Collingwood supporters walk to matches? Because they know they will be driving home.

 

[daisycutter 28,578]

11 minutes ago, La Dee-vina Comedia said:

Why do Collingwood supporters walk to matches? Because they know they will be driving home.

 

Why do Collingwood supporters walk to matches? Because they know they will be ending up in jail