Absolutely love your work CFH.

If we can play as well as you can post. It's going to be an absolute white wash...... or blood bath

Thanks mate. It's my one good post a year. The rest of the time I generally dribble out rubbish.

No joke...but this is like a grand final for us.

Feels like deja vu all over again.

Get on with plenty. Their backline are pygmies. Disposal wise, none of them could hit a cow's arse with a banjo. Their clearance work is worse than ours. Their top level midfielders are superior to ours but they fall away quickly. Their forward line is Riewoldt - yeah, good player - Miller & Maric

Get on with plenty C&B

Good judge, this bloke

Good judge, this bloke

Ha. We have all been guilty of that before mate you are not alone.

He's got a nice turn of phrase, but. Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo?

He's got a nice turn of phrase, but. Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo?

I am going to steal that one

I am going to steal that one

Go for it. I did. It was the motto of a mate's darts team. They had an interesting uniform t-shirt

I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel like we do have this..

All we need to do is get off to a good start. We do that, we win.

This game will kick off our season. Bookmark it.

Ah past P Man. You poor deluded bastard.

He's got a nice turn of phrase, but. Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo?

I heard this one many years ago, and then promptly forgot it after laughing for about a week. Anyone have an origin story for this?

Moloney out with Groin soreness again this week so we should see Tom Couch get a run.

I can see us dominating the clearances this week but it's the ball use which needs to dramatically improve.

I think Mitch will kick a bag on Saturday and we'll get up comfortably.

Pelican.

Pelican.

Love is blind McQueen!

CFH.... Sorry mate but bumpalump.

CFH.... Sorry mate but bumpalump.

Nah I'll take it on the chin.

Dear demonland...... My bad.

I feel we have a massive opportunity to turn things around here, there were signs in the WC match that we had some of an idea of what Neeled wanted us to do but in the end conditions, our still new game plan, and WC's slickness got us badly. As long as we continue to stay out of the media for anything other than football and if the guys can get their heads on straight I think we can burst out of the blocks and beat Richmond.

Our start against the Eagles wasn't as bad as the score suggested, we actually dominated play for about half the quarter but failed to put it on the board then some soft and undisaplined frees ended up giving them a comfy quarter time lead.

We've got the team to match (and beat) them in most positions, and hopefully we'll click this week. God knows we need (and deserve) a little good news.

Neeld had us looking for positives in big losses quite early it seems.

LOL , I remember this thread. I was so full of hope for this season.

BUMP!!!! Hey beautiful people it's back. Round 1 I am asking all of you to relax. Why? Surely not. Yes you can. Relax we've got this.

Melbourne Vs The mighty Port Adelaide. Port Adelaide! Fair dinkum I will eat a hat if we lose but we won't which is why I and you can relax. We have had a second proper pre season. Not one of Bailey's "Just run around the oval a couple of times if your up to it" Pre seasons. We have had Neeld,Mission and Craig's version which is " RUN YA BLOODY MAGGOT UNTIL YOU PUKE THEN EAT THE PUKE THEN SPEW IT UP ON THAT SCULLY PHOTO THEN RUN SOME MORE!" The dead wood was cut away thanks to Neeld's trusty axe.

So it's us against them. What have they got? They have Boak. Yep he is good no doubt. That's enough in depth analysis of them. We got ourselves a 18 year old son of a titan who would run through a tank and throw it through the AFL HQ before you could blink. We got ourselves some premiership players and a break dancer who will all play and dance around Port with ease. Toumpass will be horrified at how easy we make it for him and how bad a team Port are. No TV presenter can save them from the spanking they are going to receive. They better bring that stupid tarp so they can shield their supporters (do they have any?) eyes from the ass whooping. If this sounds like pure garbage with no substance then I give you my evidence. Remember playing junior footy and most teams had that kid who was chubby and couldn't get a kick and would be plonked in the back pocket all day? Sometimes our boy Sellar reminded me of that kid. He improved down back last year but up forward he was a horror at times. Well he kicked 5 on their best defender in the pre season. 5 goals to Sellar! Ha! They have no chance. Yes Mitch is half fit but he is a cybernetic organism with living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. They will be terminated.

GO DEE'S and Relax We've Got This!

This post (& the original one year ago), are the two funniest & yet motivating I've ever read on Demonland!! Could you please offer your services to the MFC? You will double the crowds in one week, might even get the players smiling (has been a while). Please write more though, whatever you do!!!

This post (& the original one year ago), are the two funniest & yet motivating I've ever read on Demonland!! Could you please offer your services to the MFC? You will double the crowds in one week, might even get the players smiling (has been a while). Please write more though, whatever you do!!!

Thanks mate. I am as guilty as others around here when it comes to getting sucked in and being over the top positive at the start of the year. I really thought we would smash port in round 1. It hurt like hell to witness that game. Just like Neeld I never saw it coming. I would love to work at the MFC but I doubt they would love to have me. They would get a fair dinkum b!tch slap sponsored by Demonland if I was working there. I'll say to you relax because 'Relax We've Got This' will return again even though this thread has brought zero wins to us.

Edited May 17, 201312 yr by cowboy_from_hell

Thanks mate. I am as guilty as others around here when it comes to getting sucked in and being over the top positive at the start of the year. I really thought we would smash port in round 1. It hurt like hell to witness that game. Just like Neeld I never saw it coming. I would love to work at the MFC but I doubt they would love to have me. They would get a fair dinkum b!tch slap sponsored by Demonland if I was working there. I'll say to you relax because 'Relax We've Got This' will return again even though this thread has brought zero wins to us.

All time great quote about sellers 5 goals are chubby kid in junior footy

All time great quote about sellers 5 goals are chubby kid in junior footy

It does beg the question why was he playing forward when he isn't one or is he? Dunn is now a tagger. Trengove out for at least 2 weeks with a calf is back already when he obviously isn't fit. Pederson gets a 3 year deal to play at Casey. Rodan one week in and out. Oh well my next relax we've got this will consist of Jesse Hogan another top draft pick or two if the AFL are kind, A new coach who is a tactical genius and ultimate motivator and our opposition suck.

Love your work CFH but please don't jinx Hogan!

Love your work CFH but please don't jinx Hogan!

I do wonder if this thread is a jinx. But if Hogan ends up with his photo on the demonland banner then he is surely jinxed.