THE ORACLE'S FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2012 ... AND BEYOND

[Demonland 73,140]

THE ORACLE'S FEARLESS PREDICTIONS FOR 2012 ... AND BEYOND by The Oracle 

Most people would find it difficult to understand the frustrations of the modern day oracle. It was easy back in the days of classical antiquity when we commanded and received respect from all quarters. After all, in places like Delphi, where my forefather s opened up shop many centuries  ago, we oracles  were considered to be divine forms - sources of wise counsel or prophetic predictions or precognition of the future, inspired by the gods. 

Unfortunately, modernity has made things tough for the profession. In these days of high technology and whiz bang innovation, people like me have been shunted aside and left for dead. Nobody even consults me for a long range weather report any more. 

The only piece of technology I have at my disposal is Stella, my crystal ball but she took a beating during the last drought and is now out of her 500 year warranty period. It's hard enough getting any snow inside that glass casing let alone a decent prediction for the future. 

Still, my family is known for its centuries-old tradition of fearlessness, accuracy and foresight and I suppose that's why Demonland picked me out to make some predictions on how the 2012 AFL season will pan out.

What follows is my final eight at the end of the home and away season plus other  insights into the season to come.

Final eight predictions are always fraught with danger. Every year, at least one team that everyone expects to do well falls into a screaming heap and every year, everything falls into place for an unfancied team which emerges from the ruck and surprises everyone. The 2011 versions respectively were the Western Bulldogs who, after three consecutive preliminary final appearances, never looked like making it and the West Coast Eagles who went from wooden spooner all the way to the top four. 

My top eight before the finals for 2012 is:-

1. Hawthorn - Clarkson is a real thinking man's coach who is always on top of the latest developments in tactics and strategy and he has the star players in ample quantities. He won them a flag before their time in 2008 and is poised to do it again, especially now that he no longer has the annoying distraction of Jeff Kennett constantly mouthing off at anything and everything despite having once promised to keep a low profile.

2. Collingwood - I might have made mention of this fact before but I don't like the bastards. My grandfather was at the meeting of the various clubs back at the end of 1896 when they decided to break away from the VFA to form the VFL (now AFL) and he urged them not to allow the riff raff into the competition. The idiots not only ignored him but they allowed Carlton in as well. What an ungracious lot they were!

Anyhow, I still don't know how Collingwood managed to not win the 2011 premiership. They have now had the stuffing knocked out of them mentally and the departure of Malthouse and half the coaching staff won't help.

Unfortunately, they still have a strong list and should make the grand final by default and then make our day by doing what they do best. Lose grand finals.

3.  Geelong - the Cats got away with a flag after losing arguably the best player in the competition in Garry Ablett Jr. and they truly deserved to win it. However, it's going to be so much tougher in 2012 without the likes of Ling, Ottens and a number of other stalwarts. They will continue to be well coached but I wonder about whether there will be the same hunger in the belly after winning three flags in five years.

4. Fremantle - the Dockers got ruthless after what they perceived was a year of failure and unceremoniously dumped Mark Harvey as coach even though the poor bloke was working with half a squad for most of the season. The replacement coach Ross Lyon is on a good quid and if he imparts his dour game plan on the team, should have them as contenders  because he basically has a good list.

Never mind that most of the football public will be bored shitless with their style of play and the rest of the country will be petitioning to have WA removed from the Commonwealth of Australia, the purple haze will amaze in 2012.

5. Sydney - the Swans are brilliant at recycling other clubs' cast offs and turning them into silk purses. I can see Mitch Morton winning their goalkicking and Tommy Walsh becoming the next Irish sensation after barely causing a ripple at St. Kilda. The Swans are a resolute mob and they usually box well over their weight limit. I believe that even the lad they had doing work experience this year scored a date with Jennifer Hawkins.

6. West Coast - I had the Eagles down as one of my big improvers for 2010 but later discovered that, due to a software malfunction, Stella misjudged that by 12 months. I suffered the embarrassment of their wooden spoon when I should have been taking the credit for predicting their revival in 2011. I won't make the same mistake this time.

7.  Carlton - it mostly rests on Chris Judd's shoulders. More particularly, the bung one that was operated on recently. Judd has managed to carve a magnificent career despite having problems in that area in his youth but they are more difficult to deal with later in your career. I think the Blues had their big chance for a top four finish in 2011 but blew it. I don't think they have the right material and depth to make it if there are any doubts on Judd's fitness.

8. Melbourne - there are more new brooms at the Demons than in Mitchell's Broom Factory. The complete overhaul and a new direction in coaching will do it as far as I'm concerned.

As for the rest, I'm not impressed. St. Kilda is due for a fall. North and Richmond will be gallant and most of the others have no hope. We'll see a glimmer of improvement from the Suns while the Giants will prove as disastrously pathetic as we all imagine a product of Demetriou's flawed planning can be - and I expect that it will be so for some time.

Brownlow Medal - Colin Sylvia's true destiny is to win one of these. I know he's going to miss out on an easy three votes by virtue of a club induced suspension for the first round but Judd missed the first three in 2010 and brought home the Charlie home.

Coleman Medal - Buddy. With the Hawks at the top of their game and firing, nobody will come near him.

Season Highlight - Sheedy sacked after three consecutive weeks of GWS suffering 200 point plus hidings.

Demetriou's comment following the sacking:

"It was a moment of inspired brilliance".

Season Lowlight - the Giants, under new coach Mark Williams, losing in round 13 by a record margin of 250 points. 

The AFL awarding a NAB Rising Star nomination to a GWS player who had three kicks and one handball during that same game after which they awarded the four points to the Giants as well for the sake of it, citing an interpretation of the Wills Act 1958.

Demetriou's comment following the decisions:

"All of the clubs knew the rule was there".

Good News Story of 2012 - Jimmy makes a complete recovery to  full health.

See you all in the future!

[Very Old Demon 8]

I am so glad I joined Demonland to read this and other absorbing articles. Living in QLD we do not receive a lot of AFL news. Keep up the good work. My wife has just arrived home from shopping. I must go.

[Demon Head 292]

That's a very interesting perspective Oracle.

My highlight prediction for 2012 is that during the year Andy Demetriou will suddenly resign as AFL CEO to take up a similar role with the Indian Cricket Board. One of his first responsibilities will be to investigate the problems on the sub continent of corruption and gambling on cricket matches and after an exhaustive two day inquiry into the subject he will absolve all parties suspected of wrongdoing and give the all clear declaring that the sport is well run and that there's no gambling problem in Indian cricket.

[Ron Burgundy 8,584]

Great assessment, Oracle - thanks.

I put 200 bucks on Sylvia to win the Brownlow at the start of last season (2011). He let me down.

Notwithstanding his suspension in round one, and his innate ability to promise heaps and deliver a lot less, I am still going to put another wad of cash on Sylvia to win the Brownlow in 2012. So I hope you're right.

I agree with your prediction as to where the MFC will finish too. The radical overhaul of our coaching and fitness department seems to be delivering much needed momentum. Also the new-found commitment to mental and physical hardness (including the addition of several more mature, hard bodies) will hopefully ensure a more consistently competitive outfit next year. I think we may turn a few heads - hopefully we get off to a really good start to the season.

I also think North may be in the mix. Their midfield is starting to look elite, and Scott is a good coach.

[Bobby McKenzie 2,385]

I am so glad I joined Demonland to read this and other absorbing articles. Living in QLD we do not receive a lot of AFL news. Keep up the good work. My wife has just arrived home from shopping. I must go.

Welcome aboard 'Very old demon'. Don't let your wife stop you from reading Demonland will you. Its a good site, far superior to Demonology. Most of the posters are normal, Demon loving human beings.

[Bring-Back-Powell 14,939]

We will not play finals in 2012.

[Good Times Grimes 2,396]

Interesting predictions. I think that there are a few definites to be in the eight (Geelong, Hawthorn, Collingwood, Carlton), and a few that are sure NOT to be in the eight (Brisbane, Port, GC, GW$, Adelaide), and it's going to be a dogfight between 9 teams for the final 4 spots. Hopefully Melbourne can nab one of them.

[Barney Rubble 1,576]

I don't think Freo will make the 8.

Lyon although a proven defensive coach, will take time to get this mindset ingrained into the psyche of an "OFFENSIVE" team in any definition you like to use.

[Ron Burgundy 8,584]

We will not play finals in 2012.

IMO we now have an elite set up in terms of coaching staff, fitness staff and facilities. Unlike previous years, we now have games plugged into many of our younger players. We have also plugged some of the gaps on our list, not necessarily with great players, but with mature, hard bodies who will provide a decent contest. We have a pretty good draw, and the supporters are really behind the club and excited about 2012.

To say, definitively, we will not play finals in 2012 at this stage in the pre-season, particularly given the recent developments, is not cool. I don't think anyone, including the Oracle, is saying we're certainties - but we're definitely in the mix for a finals birth. It beggars belief to suggest otherwise.

[Dan Fantastik 50]

Great assessment, Oracle - thanks.

I put 200 bucks on Sylvia to win the Brownlow at the start of last season (2011). He let me down.

Notwithstanding his suspension in round one, and his innate ability to promise heaps and deliver a lot less, I am still going to put another wad of cash on Sylvia to win the Brownlow in 2012. So I hope you're right.

I agree with your prediction as to where the MFC will finish too. The radical overhaul of our coaching and fitness department seems to be delivering much needed momentum. Also the new-found commitment to mental and physical hardness (including the addition of several more mature, hard bodies) will hopefully ensure a more consistently competitive outfit next year. I think we may turn a few heads - hopefully we get off to a really good start to the season.

I also think North may be in the mix. Their midfield is starting to look elite, and Scott is a good coach.

I think that maybe you should save your cash this year........

As awesome as it would be for Col to win the Brownlow it is extremely unlikely, he only polled 10 votes this year witch is 25 votes short of winning.

Plus the Brownlow nearly always goes to a player from a top 4 side. Which again is very wishful thinking.

Hopefully in a year or two he might have his chance at it!!

[Akum 2,660]

Just wonder if Col might struggle this year under a more disciplined team structure. He seems to enjoy having a relatively free rein and may chafe if he has to play to structures.

And Moloney, who's used to being on the ball for the whole time he's on the ground, may have to get used to playing some of his game time in a field position. We could have a lot of players rotating through the midfield during a game, and Beamer could be very dangerous resting in a FP, for example, or attacking off a HBF.

The key influence on our story in 2012 will be how these senior players adapt to a team structure and strategy, which will be a new experience for them after playing for several seasons. Old dogs & new tricks.