The No T$ No B$ Thread

[Red and Bluebeard 2,035]

7 hours ago, daisycutter said:

very nice r&b

and having a mandarin in your garden would come in handy when you wanted to have a political debate with someone

True, but it can be a bugger when it comes to getting paperwork done -- so fussy about details... 

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

19 hours ago, Jesus Hoganshaw said:

Do I have to bring a wife with me or do you supply one?

Thank you for your enquiry Jesus. Either option is possible. Though Your favourite Uncle Bitter is now a confirmed do gooder I do have to make an honest living. If you want me to supply a "wife"  there will be an increase on my professional rates. However, if you are a bit cash strapped ATM and, if you don't mind a lot of tatts and few teeth, I can do a reasonable deal.

[Earl Hood 5,789]

On 3 January 2016 at 6:39 PM, Biffen said:

I wonder how the mufti feels about pineapples.

Biff just checking can you send me the contact for the Mufti? I have several dozen  kilos of guava paste on my hands from my misadventures in Cuba that could be of use to the Mufti at a suitable price of course. Guava fruit in its normal state can be be regarded as [censored] like by the demented or religious orders so is banned in many countries but my guava paste is very agnostic! It would be good to set up a deal with direct payment so I can get out of this bolt hole I have here just outside of Cancun in Mexico. Gee without my local friend Shorty Guzman I would be stuffed. He is happy to organise the money transfers with yourself for the guava transfer but also can provide finance for some of your other activities if you desire! 

Have I ever led you astray (lately?)

 

The Earl

Edited January 4, 2016 by Earl Hood
Clarity

[Moonshadow 16,237]

Your edit is noted Earl, but unsuccessful. 

[DemonFrog 1,347]

5 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Thank you for your enquiry Jesus. Either option is possible. Though Your favourite Uncle Bitter is now a confirmed do gooder I do have to make an honest living. If you want me to supply a "wife"  there will be an increase on my professional rates. However, if you are a bit cash strapped ATM and, if you don't mind a lot of tatts and few teeth, I can do a reasonable deal.

Not the Blue Rinsers rate?

[Redleg 37,684]

In Port Arthur looking for any tough prisoners who can pay footy. 

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

On 4/1/2016 at 1:01 AM, DemonFrog said:

Not the Blue Rinsers rate?

dc has the "bluerinser" franchise Fl  ogger! I'm not entirely without ethics!

[daisycutter 28,578]

40 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

dc has the "bluerinser" franchise Fl  ogger! I'm not entirely without ethics!

you might need to revise that, bitters, if you want to succeed in business (or theology for that matter)

thought a school teacher especially would know that

Edited January 5, 2016 by daisycutter

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

53 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

you might need to revise that, bitters, if you want to succeed in business (or theology for that matter)

thought a school teacher especially would know that

You're generalising dc. Biffen is entirely without ethics yet he has left a string of failed get rich quick schemes behind him. My information is that currently he is ripping off disabled people.

BTW. Comments on theology should be left for those with tertiary qualifications in that field.

[Redleg 37,684]

Saw a dead ringer for Old Dee in Port Arthur. Obviously OD is descended from a long line of convicts. Next annual dinner I will watch my spring rolls very carefully. 

[old dee 22,926]

25 minutes ago, Redleg said:

Saw a dead ringer for Old Dee in Port Arthur. Obviously OD is descended from a long line of convicts. Next annual dinner I will watch my spring rolls very carefully. 

You are not far from the truth there Mr. Leg.

One set of my great grand parents were both transported to Van Diemens Land for no ncharge.

Actually quite proud of my hertiage ! 

[Redleg 37,684]

1 hour ago, old dee said:

You are not far from the truth there Mr. Leg.

One set of my great grand parents were both transported to Van Diemens Land for no ncharge.

Actually quite proud of my hertiage ! 

Will definitely watch my spring rolls in future. 

[Red and Bluebeard 2,035]

23 hours ago, Redleg said:

In Port Arthur looking for any tough prisoners who can pay footy. 

Finding some who could play would be good too ... 

[Red and Bluebeard 2,035]

2 hours ago, Redleg said:

Saw a dead ringer for Old Dee in Port Arthur. Obviously OD is descended from a long line of convicts. Next annual dinner I will watch my spring rolls very carefully. 

I'd watch the knives a little more carefully 

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

Well things appear to be returning to normal on this thread. I noticed that the intellectual content declined during my (enforced) absence. Anyway i'm sure i'm a better man for it.

That brings back memories. The Christian Bros told I'd be a better man after they'd given me a jolly good flogging. Not sure about that. I wonder if the good Doctor was a former Christian Bro?

The marriage counselling business has been slow to take off but I'll be patient.

The lads are a bit jittery atm because they've heard that Biffen has been in the area. I've upgraded the locks on the barn so they feel better.

I'm relieved to hear OD is still with us and my dear friend Fl ogger has survived his toilets.

[hemingway 7,597]

11 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well things appear to be returning to normal on this thread. I noticed that the intellectual content declined during my (enforced) absence. Anyway i'm sure i'm a better man for it.

That brings back memories. The Christian Bros told I'd be a better man after they'd given me a jolly good flogging. Not sure about that. I wonder if the good Doctor was a former Christian Bro?

The marriage counselling business has been slow to take off but I'll be patient.

The lads are a bit jittery atm because they've heard that Biffen has been in the area. I've upgraded the locks on the barn so they feel better.

I'm relieved to hear OD is still with us and my dear friend Fl ogger has survived his toilets.

The Christian Bros that explains a lot about your behaviour or to be more diplomatic BBO your eccentricities!  Perhaps marriage guidance counselling may be a little dangerous, not for you of course but those upon whom you inflict your advice and treatment. 

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

4 minutes ago, hemingway said:

The Christian Bros that explains a lot about your behaviour or to be more diplomatic BBO your eccentricities!  Perhaps marriage guidance counselling may be a little dangerous, not for you of course but those upon whom you inflict your advice and treatment. 

Well I am feeling my way at the moment Ernie so I'd appreciate a little more positivity. Perhaps you could direct some  suckers  err I mean clients in my direction.

[DemonFrog 1,347]

17 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well things appear to be returning to normal on this thread. I noticed that the intellectual content declined during my (enforced) absence. Anyway i'm sure i'm a better man for it.

That brings back memories. The Christian Bros told I'd be a better man after they'd given me a jolly good flogging. Not sure about that. I wonder if the good Doctor was a former Christian Bro?

The marriage counselling business has been slow to take off but I'll be patient.

The lads are a bit jittery atm because they've heard that Biffen has been in the area. I've upgraded the locks on the barn so they feel better.

I'm relieved to hear OD is still with us and my dear friend Fl ogger has survived his toilets.

BBO you do know what the Christian Brothers did to children?

[Dr John Dee 1,057]

21 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

 

That brings back memories. The Christian Bros told I'd be a better man after they'd given me a jolly good flogging. Not sure about that. I wonder if the good Doctor was a former Christian Bro?

 

As a well-practised jesuitical fellow I'm inclined to take umbrellas at any implication you might be trying to get at in your question BBO. In truth though I did spend a couple of years in bondage to that most unchristian fraternity. Amongst the many barbarisms to which I was subjected (some of which, such as corporal punishment you would no doubt endorse) was being forced to play Rugby Union. I've never quite recovered from the experience but I'll have to leave it to others to judge whether that scarring has influenced any tendencies I might exhibit nowadays.

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

2 hours ago, Dr John Dee said:

As a well-practised jesuitical fellow I'm inclined to take umbrellas at any implication you might be trying to get at in your question BBO. In truth though I did spend a couple of years in bondage to that most unchristian fraternity. Amongst the many barbarisms to which I was subjected (some of which, such as corporal punishment you would no doubt endorse) was being forced to play Rugby Union. I've never quite recovered from the experience but I'll have to leave it to others to judge whether that scarring has influenced any tendencies I might exhibit nowadays.

Thank you Doctor - you're post explains much. Indeed during my time with the Christian Bros, corporal punishment did not hold much joy, but nowadays .... ah well ...attitudes change.

However, what really interests me is "your couple of years in bondage". Please provide more details. This could be a world record.

 

PS. To all you smart arse pedants, my spelling mistake in the first sentence was deliberate.

PPS. Doctor, you exhibit a number of ".tendencies".

PPPS. All laudable of course;

PPPPS. Just joshing.

PPPPPS. BTW Doctor how is New Year celebrated in Hopping Dicks Creek? Are straw men burnt etc?

[Dr John Dee 1,057]

10 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Thank you Doctor - you're post explains much. Indeed during my time with the Christian Bros, corporal punishment did not hold much joy, but nowadays .... ah well ...attitudes change.

However, what really interests me is "your couple of years in bondage". Please provide more details. This could be a world record.

 

PS. To all you smart arse pedants, my spelling mistake in the first sentence was deliberate.

PPS. Doctor, you exhibit a number of ".tendencies".

PPPS. All laudable of course;

PPPPS. Just joshing.

PPPPPS. BTW Doctor how is New Year celebrated in Hopping Dicks Creek? Are straw men burnt etc?

Ah, bondage, one of those words with several possibilities to it that you can flavour as you wish. Serfs and villeins spent their whole lives in it, so my few humble years are no record I'm afraid. Speaking of records, you may remember this one:

 

As for New Year, this is banana country, no straw men here and banana leaves are too moist to burn (as many a recipe book attests) so no point in shaping them into effigies or anything else. We follow a different tradition, what's known as the de-riding of the Queenslanders, gathering on our side of the border and mocking those on the other side for having fallen a year behind (metaphorically it's many more years than that, of course). Much fun while it lasts, which is only an hour, but then fireworks in your big cities don't go on all that long either ... I'll leave aside the other sorts of 'celebrations' you might choose to indulge in until dawn or thereabouts in Romsey Vale.

[pineapple dee 2,892]

Thanks Dr. That's not what the doctor ordered. I have just returned from Vietnam having been subjected to traditional music and singing that was just caterwauling. How aboot Mozart..... Or even Ian Drury.

[Redleg 37,684]

In Port Adelaide and looking for Ollie Wines. They have obviously hidden him away. 

[Dr John Dee 1,057]

1 minute ago, Redleg said:

In Port Adelaide and looking for Ollie Wines. They have obviously hidden him away. 

Try the Barossa, Mr Leg.

[Bitter but optimistic 21,286]

3 minutes ago, Dr John Dee said:

Try the Barossa, Mr Leg.

No that's his Arab cousin Syrah who lives there.