On 12 February 2017 at 2:51 PM, Redleg said:

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

So how did that make you feel??  Hmmm???

11 minutes ago, Akum said:

So how did that make you feel??  Hmmm???

OLD!

2 hours ago, Biffen said:

 Speaking of Booze ,

Had two margaritas last night.

When drinking cocktails it is wise to remember they should be regarded as like a woman's breasts.

Three is too many and one is not enough.

I have decided to prolong my stay in the region due to my rising popularity and adoration amongst the people here.

I feel they need me at this time so I shall stay till I feel like coming home to the relative blandness of boring old Melba .

I have formed a small militia of dedicated soldiers and taken some key geographical outposts.

We have established underground and overland supply roots and are currently recruiting a fierce regiment of mercenaries.

Mostly made up of massage therapist,soup chefs,drug merchants,pastry chefs,vintners and procurers of valuables as well as couriers,guardsmen ,porters,grooms and loyalist hangers on.

I will be dead or wealthy before the season begins .

More from up river later,

I must address my people.

Biffen

Makes my past excessive behaviour seem well what can I say.....not excessive.  I feel there is a touch of unreality creeping into your life Biff. A lengthy period in rehab is beckoning. 

1 hour ago, Akum said:

So how did that make you feel??  Hmmm???

Not happy "Jan".

4 hours ago, old dee said:

Probably not the right spot but my second sporting love is Basketball. I feel a little joy after my team was replaced by a soccer team i.e. melbourne united.

The regular season finished on the weekend and MU has missed the finals for the third year in a row.

Oh joy!

I hope that makes the Tigers return one year closer.

OD basketball is all about the Wild Cats.

1 hour ago, old dee said:

OLD!

and Dees?

43 minutes ago, DemonFrog said:

OD basketball is all about the Wild Cats.

 Sorry to disagree DF but it is about the Tigers in this house. Well the lack of them actually.

5 hours ago, hemingway said:

Makes my past excessive behaviour seem well what can I say.....not excessive.  I feel there is a touch of unreality creeping into your life Biff. A lengthy period in rehab is beckoning. 

This IS my rehab and detox program Hem.

 

On 12/02/2017 at 2:51 PM, Redleg said:

Tried to book an appointment last time I was in his neighbourhood and was shocked to learn he wasn't seeing anyone anymore mainly because he died 78 years ago.

 

Like Mark Twain, those rumours about my passing are highly exaggerated.

9 hours ago, Biffen said:

 Speaking of Booze ,

Had two margaritas last night.

When drinking cocktails it is wise to remember they should be regarded as like a woman's breasts.

Three is too many and one is not enough.

I have decided to prolong my stay in the region due to my rising popularity and adoration amongst the people here.

I feel they need me at this time so I shall stay till I feel like coming home to the relative blandness of boring old Melba .

I have formed a small militia of dedicated soldiers and taken some key geographical outposts.

We have established underground and overland supply roots and are currently recruiting a fierce regiment of mercenaries.

Mostly made up of massage therapist,soup chefs,drug merchants,pastry chefs,vintners and procurers of valuables as well as couriers,guardsmen ,porters,grooms and loyalist hangers on.

I will be dead or wealthy before the season begins .

More from up river later,

I must address my people.

Biffen

Pleased that you have transitioned so well.

The blandness here has been exacerbated by the constant bickering over alternative truths, heat and renewable energy. Suggest you maintain popularity by introducing a women's league. It seems to have worked well as a distraction for AFL.

Your entourage appears to comprise all necessary elements for successful wealth generation,just don't be lulled into including accountants and all should be well.

12 hours ago, Biffen said:

This IS my rehab and detox program Hem.

 

of course Biff, my comments were of course tongue in cheek. 

i know that you need sustenance and support given the perilous position of the Gat. 

but you reach a point in your life where you need to learn moderation in all things and seek nourishment of the soul. 

On 14/02/2017 at 10:53 AM, hemingway said:

of course Biff, my comments were of course tongue in cheek. 

i know that you need sustenance and support given the perilous position of the Gat. 

but you reach a point in your life where you need to learn moderation in all things and seek nourishment of the soul. 

Hem, I suspect that Biff, along with many of us, are still in the phase of: "nourishment from all things (as much as you can get), and moderation of the soul". 

i see uncle bitters popped up yesterday (or friday?) then seems to have disappeared

don't tell me he is on rehab again already. has he got schwartzitis?

Dear Friends and Copious Admirers,

I have been waylaid with my overnight success as a Karaoke performer and so have not been able to regale you with my ever increasing popularity.

I know many of you find yourself miserable at The Donalds' unqualified brilliance but not I ,as a planned trip to Vietnam by the big Red  could see me well placed as a sort of cultural attache ,a job you will all agree i am well suited to .

My trades have all gone well and a recent visit to the golden triangle should be able to quieten down the Gat for the rest of the year( which should keep the interloping bogan nouveau ,nimby types happy ,if they know what's good for them.) Quiet that is, apart from the sporadic wailing of Ambulance sirens delivering the odd counter balance to Biffs finest!! As I always say, being clinically dead for a few minutes never hurt anyone.A change over of guests at the Gat is always refreshing and good for bizz.

Not  normally being one for wedding cake , the humidity and liquor must have taken a toll upon me as I have found myself at the altar at least three times in the past week that i can recall..So far have managed to not let the left hand know what the right hand is doing if you get my drift.

Thankfully the divorce lawyers are not quite as cluey as the ones back home with regards to asset confiscation ,which ,lets face it, is the main reason for most divorces.Combined with uniquely feminine spite  naturally.

Speaking of the unspeakable,I was reading Clementine Fords very important article on Wicked Campers today ,or at least that was the initial subject .She digressed into sexual slavery,Sid James' prolific contributions to the arts and other unrelated  topics as well.Cracking read although I'm not sure if she was serious.Let's hope the Age doesn't pay her as much as the non-fluff piece writers.She must have a hubby to support her trifling hobbies.

I also noticed that the  hunchback of Spring Street is about to attempt to pass some thought crime legislation on what one can and cannot say.I wonder if he has ever sat with the union lads for a few beers and heard their thoughts on race relations,chinese labour,Italian concreters,greek developers or the like.He would surely blush if so.But I doubt he would press any charges.

Anyhow, as I've said, the Age ain't what she used to be and if it's a guide to the happiness of Batmania then we are all doomed.A return to the halcyon days of the red and blue could be the only tonic.

Speaking of tonic-it's liquid gold here and the philistines keep drinking mine.Next time i will have to get a sponsorship from Schweppes to keep me tootling along.

Good to see we beat the reigning premiers although I've not had time to witness the match, the reports on Demonland have kept me in the picture .23-1 for the flag in todays markets.Worth a shy at the stumps I would think.

Anyhow,It's time for me to discipline he staff ,which is one task I refuse to outsource.Nothing like the personal touch in matters of crime and punishment.

Please cope without me as best you can although by the tone and state of this thread it seems you are rudderless.

Perhaps if Bitters could drag himself out of his neighbours' cellar and boudoir you might rally behind his much needed leadership.

Just a thought.

Toodlepip for now.

 

 

 

Your good Old Uncle Bitter is back!!

Just in time it seems, as this off course thread appears to be well off course, of course.

Yes, I did another short stretch in rehab and, as a result, have spent some time in necessary  convalescence. The  good Doctor  Hopping Dick applied the electrodes every meal time while I was force fed fried rice. Subsequently I cant walk past a Chinese take away without twitching and sobbing uncontrollably.

The whole sorry business has impacted on my private life. My aim is now unsteady and my role as chief flogger is under threat.

I am appalled that the oafish Biffen is wreaking havoc in the Asian Colonies. I may have to make a mercy dash over there to restore proper relationships.

For the moment be aware that I am watching and will make any necessary interventions to restore this thread to its improper level of interlectual  smartness.

Are you going to Casey UB? Would you be able to pick me up? I camp under the freeway at the bottom of Spencer St.

2 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Your good Old Uncle Bitter is back!!

Just in time it seems, as this off course thread appears to be well off course, of course.

Yes, I did another short stretch in rehab and, as a result, have spent some time in necessary  convalescence. The  good Doctor  Hopping Dick applied the electrodes every meal time while I was force fed fried rice. Subsequently I cant walk past a Chinese take away without twitching and sobbing uncontrollably.

The whole sorry business has impacted on my private life. My aim is now unsteady and my role as chief flogger is under threat.

I am appalled that the oafish Biffen is wreaking havoc in the Asian Colonies. I may have to make a mercy dash over there to restore proper relationships.

For the moment be aware that I am watching and will make any necessary interventions to restore this thread to its improper level of interlectual  smartness.

Oh thank God you are back Bbo demonland has not been the same without you.

2 hours ago, special robert said:

Are you going to Casey UB? Would you be able to pick me up? I camp under the freeway at the bottom of Spencer St.

Unfortunately Special, I shall be watching the game, with the lads, in my luxurious home cinema at the manor. A young lady of Biffen's acquaintance shall be on serving duties.

However, I am very pleased to see that you have moved up in the world.

3 minutes ago, old dee said:

Oh thank God you are back Bbo demonland has not been the same without you.

Thank you OD. A cursory reading supports your view.

38 minutes ago, old dee said:

Oh thank God you are back Bbo demonland has not been the same without you.

Careful OD, his ego is healthy enough. A simple tipping of your cap would have sufficed.

9 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Careful OD, his ego is healthy enough. A simple tipping of your cap would have sufficed.

Not sure how you tip your cap on here bb but I am open to suggestions.

19 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Careful OD, his ego is healthy enough. A simple tipping of your cap would have sufficed.

Me thinks OD is into doffing not tipping.

Edited February 22, 20179 yr by ManDee

17 minutes ago, ManDee said:

Me thinks OD is into doffing not tipping.

Must admit , haven't noticed him tip !! 

4 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

Must admit , haven't noticed him tip !! 

surely you've noticed him tipping s@#$ on people?  remember jb? 

51 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

surely you've noticed him tipping s@#$ on people?  remember jb? 

He has been replaced by BK

Some trivia to ponder. while waiting for the next jack watts post.....I never knew this and it gave me a little chuckle

Hipsters should take note !

GUESS WHO DRESSED THE SS