Jump to content

Featured Replies

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Now to other matters.

In The Age this morning both Dimian Hardwicke and Nathan Fuckley were quoted as expecting their teams to make the eight in 2017!

Make of that what you will.

Serious news. I know I have said it before but I believe Biffen has finally OD'd ( nothing to do with you OD). He currently doesn't owe me money yet I cannot contact him.

Further news. It is possible that Uncle Bitter will going to the footy with young children next Saturday . (Take a breath Ernie)

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bunking with the lads.

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

 
17 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

Well Biffen your continued existence is a matter of some mystery ... I doubt it can go on much longer.

As to "The lads" . Yes their lifestyle is mostly laudable but to assert (as you boldly do) that their habits are overall, in some way more hygienic than mine is generally  unsupportable. I mean to say, it is only on rare occasions of overindulgence , that I "snap one off" in my own stall!

 

Edited by Bitter but optimistic

53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bonking with the lads.

Edited for accuracy.

Your missus would probably describe it as 'good news' rather than 'big news'. With your dementia it's possible you may not find your way back.

 

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

28 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.


24 minutes ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Post of the year, without question.

It is an odd time alright. When we were crap, we were all full of [censored], and made this thread quite lively. Now, when there is a chance of us playing finals with two rounds to go, we are all gobsmacked and wondering whether this is a dream or not, and not saying much in case we wake up!

20 hours ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

 
  • Author

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

16 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

Well that is the point of the movie.

 


our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

16 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

48 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

you make a very salient point, uncle..... ah, the problems of paganism.....


Sheesh.  Very unpalatable effort at the G.  Probably even more unpalatable than one of Red's black-spotted bananas.

Guess it's back to normal now for MFC.  Let the usual MFCSS programming resume.

On 19 August 2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Immunology article in the paper about reversing cancer.

Actually reversing it.

All that banana cake not in vain.

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

On 19/08/2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Do you really want to give the racists more ammunition?


2 hours ago, Biffen said:

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

Ah. I get it. Hydroponic stone fruit. Yep - that must be it.

  • Author

I don't like the bad publicity the banana is getting, because of some Port Power moron fan.

 
  • Author
50 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Tautology!

Tauto was one of my favourite racehorses. Around the time of Tobin Bronze, another favourite.

Dear Uncle Bitters, went passed palatial Romsey today ( on business) and spied a gent on the side of a hill on some acreage sunning himself on the Balcony of a palatial mansion with two cucumbers over his eyes sipping a beverage of some description in a state of absolute euphoria! 

Not sure why but i thought of you!!!


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • PREVIEW: Fremantle

    A month is a long time in AFL football. The proof of this is in the current state of the two teams contesting against each other early this Saturday afternoon at the MCG. It’s hard to fathom that when Melbourne and Fremantle kicked off the 2025 season, the former looked like being a major player in this year’s competition after it came close to beating one of the favourites in the GWS Giants while the latter was smashed by Geelong to the tune of 78 points and looked like rubbish. Fast forward to today and the Demons are low on confidence and appear panic stricken as their winless streak heads towards an even half dozen and pressure mounts on the coach and team leadership.  Meanwhile, the Dockers have recovered their composure and now sit in the top eight. They are definitely on the up and up and look most likely winners this weekend against a team which they have recently dominated and which struggles to find enough passages to the goals to trouble the scorers. And with that, Fremantle will head to the MCG, feeling very good about itself after demolishing Richmond in the Barossa Valley with Josh Treacy coming off a six goal haul and facing up to a Melbourne defence already without Jake Lever and a shaky Steven May needing to pass a fitness test just to make it onto the field of play. 

    • 0 replies
    Demonland
  • NON-MFC: Round 06

    The Easter Round kicks off in style with a Thursday night showdown between Brisbane and Collingwood, as both sides look to solidify their spots inside the Top 4 early in the season. Good Friday brings a double-header, with Carlton out to claim consecutive wins when they face the struggling Kangaroos, while later that night the Eagles host the Bombers in Perth, still chasing their first victory of the year. Saturday features another marquee clash as the resurgent Crows look to rebound from back-to-back losses against a formidable GWS outfit. That evening, all eyes will be on Marvel Stadium where Damien Hardwick returns to face his old side—the Tigers—coaching the Suns at a ground he's never hidden his disdain for. Sunday offers two crucial contests where the prize is keeping touch with the Top 8. First, Sydney and Port Adelaide go head-to-head, followed by a fierce battle between the Bulldogs and the Saints. Then, Easter Monday delivers the traditional clash between two bitter rivals, both desperate for a win to stay in touch with the top end of the ladder. Who are you tipping this week and what are the best results for the Demons?

    • 91 replies
    Demonland
  • REPORT: Essendon

    What were they thinking? I mean by “they” the coaching panel and team selectors who chose the team to play against an opponent who, like Melbourne, had made a poor start to the season and who they appeared perfectly capable of beating in what was possibly the last chance to turn the season around.It’s no secret that the Demons’ forward line is totally dysfunctional, having opened the season barely able to average sixty points per game which means there has been no semblance of any system from the team going forward into attack. Nevertheless, on Saturday night at the Adelaide Oval in one of the Gather Round showcase games, Melbourne, with Max Gawn dominating the hit outs against a depleted Essendon ruck resulting from Nick Bryan’s early exit, finished just ahead in clearances won and found itself inside the 50 metre arc 51 times to 43. The end result was a final score that had the Bombers winning 15.6 (96) to 8.9 (57). On balance, one could expect this to result in a two or three goal win, but in this case, it translated into a six and a half goal defeat because they only managed to convert eight times or 11.68% of their entries. The Bombers more than doubled that. On Thursday night at the same ground, the losing team Adelaide managed to score 100 points from almost the same number of times inside 50.

    • 0 replies
    Demonland
  • PODCAST: Essendon

    The Demonland Podcast will air LIVE on Monday, 14th April @ the all new time of 8:00pm. Join Binman, George & I as we dissect another Demons loss at Kardinia Park to the Cats in the Round 04. Your questions and comments are a huge part of our podcast so please post anything you want to ask or say below and we'll give you a shout out on the show. If you would like to leave us a voicemail please call 03 9016 3666 and don't worry no body answers so you don't have to talk to a human.

      • Like
    • 62 replies
    Demonland
  • PREGAME: Fremantle

    The Demons return home to the MCG in search of their first win for the 2025 Premiership season when they take on the Fremantle Dockers on Saturday afternoon. Who comes in and who goes out?

      • Like
    • 384 replies
    Demonland
  • VOTES: Essendon

    Max Gawn leads the Demonland Player of the Year ahead of Clayton Oliver, Christian Petracca, Kade Chandler and Jake Bowey. Your votes please. 6, 5, 4, 3, 2 & 1.

      • Like
    • 24 replies
    Demonland