Jump to content
View in the app

A better way to browse. Learn more.

Demonland

A full-screen app on your home screen with push notifications, badges and more.

To install this app on iOS and iPadOS
  1. Tap the Share icon in Safari
  2. Scroll the menu and tap Add to Home Screen.
  3. Tap Add in the top-right corner.
To install this app on Android
  1. Tap the 3-dot menu (⋮) in the top-right corner of the browser.
  2. Tap Add to Home screen or Install app.
  3. Confirm by tapping Install.

Featured Replies

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Now to other matters.

In The Age this morning both Dimian Hardwicke and Nathan Fuckley were quoted as expecting their teams to make the eight in 2017!

Make of that what you will.

Serious news. I know I have said it before but I believe Biffen has finally OD'd ( nothing to do with you OD). He currently doesn't owe me money yet I cannot contact him.

Further news. It is possible that Uncle Bitter will going to the footy with young children next Saturday . (Take a breath Ernie)

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bunking with the lads.

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

 
17 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

Well Biffen your continued existence is a matter of some mystery ... I doubt it can go on much longer.

As to "The lads" . Yes their lifestyle is mostly laudable but to assert (as you boldly do) that their habits are overall, in some way more hygienic than mine is generally  unsupportable. I mean to say, it is only on rare occasions of overindulgence , that I "snap one off" in my own stall!

 

Edited by Bitter but optimistic

53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bonking with the lads.

Edited for accuracy.

Your missus would probably describe it as 'good news' rather than 'big news'. With your dementia it's possible you may not find your way back.

 

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

28 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.


24 minutes ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Post of the year, without question.

It is an odd time alright. When we were crap, we were all full of [censored], and made this thread quite lively. Now, when there is a chance of us playing finals with two rounds to go, we are all gobsmacked and wondering whether this is a dream or not, and not saying much in case we wake up!

20 hours ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

 
  • Author

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

16 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

Well that is the point of the movie.

 


our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

16 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

48 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

you make a very salient point, uncle..... ah, the problems of paganism.....


Sheesh.  Very unpalatable effort at the G.  Probably even more unpalatable than one of Red's black-spotted bananas.

Guess it's back to normal now for MFC.  Let the usual MFCSS programming resume.

On 19 August 2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Immunology article in the paper about reversing cancer.

Actually reversing it.

All that banana cake not in vain.

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

On 19/08/2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Do you really want to give the racists more ammunition?


2 hours ago, Biffen said:

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

Ah. I get it. Hydroponic stone fruit. Yep - that must be it.

  • Author

I don't like the bad publicity the banana is getting, because of some Port Power moron fan.

 
  • Author
50 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Tautology!

Tauto was one of my favourite racehorses. Around the time of Tobin Bronze, another favourite.

Dear Uncle Bitters, went passed palatial Romsey today ( on business) and spied a gent on the side of a hill on some acreage sunning himself on the Balcony of a palatial mansion with two cucumbers over his eyes sipping a beverage of some description in a state of absolute euphoria! 

Not sure why but i thought of you!!!


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • The Bailey Humphrey Thread

    The Demons are hoping to entice Gold Coast young gun Bailey Humphrey from the Suns as part of a trade deal for champion Demon Christian Petracca.

      • Clap
      • Haha
      • Like
    • 2,043 replies
  • The Christian Petracca Thread

    Premiership Norm Smith Medalist Christian Petracca has nominated the Gold Coast as his club of choice to be traded to.

      • Clap
      • Haha
      • Like
    • 953 replies
  • The Clayton Oliver Thread

    Melbourne have held talks with Clayton Oliver and they’ve laid out where he fits in under Steve King’s vision and been frank about expectations. Oliver is still under contract for five years, but the door is open if he wants to explore his options elsewhere.

      • Like
    • 1,246 replies
  • AFLW PREVIEW: Essendon

    It’s Pink Lady night at Princes Park — a vibey Friday evening setting for a high-stakes clash between second-placed Melbourne and eleventh-placed Essendon. The wind-sheltered IKON Park, a favourite ground of the Demon players, promises flair, fire and a touch of pink. Melbourne has never lost a home-and-away game here, though the ghosts of two straight-sets finals exits in 2023 still linger. 

    • 0 replies
  • 2025 Player Reviews: # 1 Steven May 

    The premiership defender has shown signs of wear and tear due to age, and his 2025 season was inconsistent, ending poorly with a suspension and a noticeable decline in performance. The Demons are eager to integrate younger players onto their list and have indicated that they may not be able to guarantee him senior games next season, in what would be the final year of his contract.

    • 10 replies
  • 2025 Player Reviews: # 2 Jacob van Rooyen

    The young key tall failed to make progress during the season, with a decline in his goal kicking output. His secondary role as a backup ruckman, which may have hindered his ability to further develop his game, and he was also impacted by the team's poor forward connection. It will be interesting to observe his performance under a new coaching regime.

      • Like
    • 40 replies

Configure browser push notifications

Chrome (Android)
  1. Tap the lock icon next to the address bar.
  2. Tap Permissions → Notifications.
  3. Adjust your preference.
Chrome (Desktop)
  1. Click the padlock icon in the address bar.
  2. Select Site settings.
  3. Find Notifications and adjust your preference.