Jump to content

Featured Replies

10 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Now to other matters.

In The Age this morning both Dimian Hardwicke and Nathan Fuckley were quoted as expecting their teams to make the eight in 2017!

Make of that what you will.

Serious news. I know I have said it before but I believe Biffen has finally OD'd ( nothing to do with you OD). He currently doesn't owe me money yet I cannot contact him.

Further news. It is possible that Uncle Bitter will going to the footy with young children next Saturday . (Take a breath Ernie)

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bunking with the lads.

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

 
17 minutes ago, Biffen said:

Fear not Bitter One.

I am fully cognisant and alert.

My sympathy goes out to the lads .

I hope you can match their levels of hygiene .

They must be disappointed more than anyone at your matrimonial difficulties.

Well Biffen your continued existence is a matter of some mystery ... I doubt it can go on much longer.

As to "The lads" . Yes their lifestyle is mostly laudable but to assert (as you boldly do) that their habits are overall, in some way more hygienic than mine is generally  unsupportable. I mean to say, it is only on rare occasions of overindulgence , that I "snap one off" in my own stall!

 

Edited by Bitter but optimistic

53 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Final big news. The squeeze has, for the moment, ( I think) given me the arse. So I shall be bonking with the lads.

Edited for accuracy.

Your missus would probably describe it as 'good news' rather than 'big news'. With your dementia it's possible you may not find your way back.

 

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

28 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

This is an odd time on Demonland. The possibility of making the finals (remote in my view) seems to be hanging over the site - something like the sword of Damocles. Even I feel afflicted by some sort of malaise that makes me feel as though I am walking through honey.A number of the regular posters on this thread have gone quiet - same malaise I suspect.

There appears to both a horror and anticipation of what might happen over the next two weeks. No one really wants to commit because we have been let down so many times.

To more trivial matters. Biffen is apparently alive. Surprising but no doubt temporary. And who GAF anyway.

Another positive is that "The Lads" are being quite generous in sharing their accommodation with me - although they insist on choosing the tv programs. I'm still a bit short on cash but the wine cellar is well stocked so Ill survive. 

[censored] me, the quicker we are through the next two weeks the better!

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.


24 minutes ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Post of the year, without question.

It is an odd time alright. When we were crap, we were all full of [censored], and made this thread quite lively. Now, when there is a chance of us playing finals with two rounds to go, we are all gobsmacked and wondering whether this is a dream or not, and not saying much in case we wake up!

20 hours ago, Left Foot Snap said:

Bitters, no offence intended but have you ever seen the movie Leon The Pig Farmer. I love your posts but you remind me so much of this movie.

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

 
  • Author

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

16 hours ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Offence taken!

Pig Farmer! Pig Farmer!

Go and give yourself a merciless flogging you scoundrel!

Well that is the point of the movie.

 


our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

16 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

our fate is in the hands of zeus

i wonder if uncle bitters could "donate" one of those long-necked sheep to placate the gods

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

48 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Well they are certainly more readily available than virgins dc.

you make a very salient point, uncle..... ah, the problems of paganism.....


Sheesh.  Very unpalatable effort at the G.  Probably even more unpalatable than one of Red's black-spotted bananas.

Guess it's back to normal now for MFC.  Let the usual MFCSS programming resume.

On 19 August 2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Immunology article in the paper about reversing cancer.

Actually reversing it.

All that banana cake not in vain.

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

On 19/08/2016 at 9:42 PM, Redleg said:

Apparently a banana shortage. Leon, forget the pigs, grow bananas.

Do you really want to give the racists more ammunition?


2 hours ago, Biffen said:

Anyhow-more importantly-I'm learning to grow "vegetables" hydroponically using urine as the nutrient.

Everyone at the Gat loves getting pi55ed and stoned so it's bound to take off.

 

Ah. I get it. Hydroponic stone fruit. Yep - that must be it.

  • Author

I don't like the bad publicity the banana is getting, because of some Port Power moron fan.

 
  • Author
50 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

Tautology!

Tauto was one of my favourite racehorses. Around the time of Tobin Bronze, another favourite.

Dear Uncle Bitters, went passed palatial Romsey today ( on business) and spied a gent on the side of a hill on some acreage sunning himself on the Balcony of a palatial mansion with two cucumbers over his eyes sipping a beverage of some description in a state of absolute euphoria! 

Not sure why but i thought of you!!!


Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Unfortunately, your content contains terms that we do not allow. Please edit your content to remove the highlighted words below.
Reply to this topic...

Featured Content

  • GAMEDAY: Collingwood

    It's Game Day and the Demons face a monumental task as they take on the top-of-the-table Magpies in one of the biggest games on the Dees calendar: the King's Birthday Big Freeze MND match. Can the Demons defy the odds and claim a massive scalp to keep their finals hopes alive?

      • Sad
      • Like
    • 719 replies
  • CASEY: Collingwood

    It was freezing cold at Mission Whitten Stadium where only the brave came out in the rain to watch a game that turned out to be as miserable as the weather.
    The Casey Demons secured their third consecutive victory, earning the four premiership points and credit for defeating a highly regarded Collingwood side, but achieved little else. Apart perhaps from setting the scene for Monday’s big game at the MCG and the Ice Challenge that precedes it.
    Neither team showcased significant skill in the bleak and greasy conditions, at a location that was far from either’s home territory. Even the field umpires forgot where they were and experienced a challenging evening, but no further comment is necessary.

      • Like
    • 4 replies
  • NON-MFC: Round 13

    Follow all the action from every Round 13 clash excluding the Dees as the 2025 AFL Premiership Season rolls on. With Melbourne playing in the final match of the round on King's Birthday, all eyes turn to the rest of the competition. Who are you tipping to win? And more importantly, which results best serve the Demons’ finals aspirations? Join the discussion and keep track of the matches that could shape the ladder and impact our run to September.

    • 216 replies
  • PREVIEW: Collingwood

    Having convincingly defeated last year’s premier and decisively outplayed the runner-up with 8.2 in the final quarter, nothing epitomized the Melbourne Football Club’s performance more than its 1.12 final half, particularly the eight consecutive behinds in the last term, against a struggling St Kilda team in the midst of a dismal losing streak. Just when stability and consistency were anticipated within the Demon ranks, they delivered a quintessential performance marked by instability and ill-conceived decisions, with the most striking aspect being their inaccuracy in kicking for goal, which suggested a lack of preparation (instead of sleeping in their hotel in Alice, were they having a night on the turps) rather than a well-rested team. Let’s face it - this kicking disease that makes them look like raw amateurs is becoming a millstone around the team’s neck.

    • 1 reply
  • CASEY: Sydney

    The Casey Demons were always expected to emerge victorious in their matchup against the lowly-ranked Sydney Swans at picturesque Tramway Oval, situated in the shadows of the SCG in Moore Park. They dominated the proceedings in the opening two and a half quarters of the game but had little to show for it. This was primarily due to their own sloppy errors in a low-standard game that produced a number of crowded mauls reminiscent of the rugby game popular in old Sydney Town. However, when the Swans tired, as teams often do when they turn games into ugly defensive contests, Casey lifted the standard of its own play and … it was off to the races. Not to nearby Randwick but to a different race with an objective of piling on goal after goal on the way to a mammoth victory. At the 25-minute mark of the third quarter, the Demons held a slender 14-point lead over the Swans, who are ahead on the ladder of only the previous week's opposition, the ailing Bullants. Forty minutes later, they had more than fully compensated for the sloppiness of their earlier play with a decisive 94-point victory, that culminated in a rousing finish which yielded thirteen unanswered goals. Kicks hit their targets, the ball found itself going through the middle and every player made a contribution.

    • 1 reply
  • REPORT: St. Kilda

    Hands up if you thought, like me, at half-time in yesterday’s game at TIO Traeger Park, Alice Springs that Melbourne’s disposal around the ground and, in particular, its kicking inaccuracy in front of the goals couldn’t get any worse. Well, it did. And what’s even more damning for the Melbourne Football Club is that the game against St Kilda and its resurgence from the bottomless pit of its miserable start to the season wasn’t just lost through poor conversion for goal but rather in the 15 minutes when the entire team went into a slumber and was mugged by the out-of-form Saints. Their six goals two behinds (one goal less than the Demons managed for the whole game) weaved a path of destruction from which they were unable to recover. Ross Lyon’s astute use of pressure to contain the situation once they had asserted their grip on the game, and Melbourne’s self-destructive wastefulness, assured that outcome. The old adage about the insanity of repeatedly doing something and expecting a different result, was out there. Two years ago, the score line in Melbourne’s loss to the Giants at this same ground was 5 goals 15 behinds - a ratio of one goal per four scoring shots - was perfectly replicated with yesterday’s 7 goals 21 behinds. 
    This has been going on for a while and opens up a number of questions. I’ll put forward a few that come to mind from this performance. The obvious first question is whether the club can find a suitable coach to instruct players on proper kicking techniques or is this a skill that can no longer be developed at this stage of the development of our playing group? Another concern is the team's ability to counter an opponent's dominance during a run on as exemplified by the Saints in the first quarter. Did the Demons underestimate their opponents, considering St Kilda's goals during this period were scored by relatively unknown forwards? Furthermore, given the modest attendance of 6,721 at TIO Traeger Park and the team's poor past performances at this venue, is it prudent to prioritize financial gain over potentially sacrificing valuable premiership points by relinquishing home ground advantage, notwithstanding the cultural significance of the team's connection to the Red Centre? 

      • Like
    • 4 replies