Chook

What about "don't run off to the change rooms when the game's still on just because you're too much of a sook to take it all?" That's some good advice too.

Ah! Maths - the one true faith.Footy and mathematics together at last, as it should be.

I'm glad you think that way too.

The only thing Morton is good at doing is running all over the ground and standing about 3 feet off the back of the packs to pick up the quick handball. Put him here and he'll show his worth. Put him anywhere else and he may as well be in the stands.

So is the ridiculous media coverage of the "failure" of our Olympics athletes, and the fact that your perpetuating this idiotic "Gold Medal or Bust" mantra just shows how sad the whole sporting journalism fiasco has become in Australia.

Eff off with that BS. Your average Joe should feel honoured to even witness competitors good enough to get silver medals against the cream of the crop of the entire WORLD.

Like Trengove has?

What we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is an honest to god FOOTBALLER. Yes, you heard it. A footballer at the MFC. He can mark it, he can kick it AND (now this is key) he will bloody shepherd for you once he gives you the ball. Can take a hanger too. Very nice. I'd love to see him, Clark and Jurrah all fit and firing in the forward line, although I'm worried that Clark is going to kill a few of his team-mates unlucky enough to drift into his path next year. Can someone allay my concerns in that regard? Also, add Cloke and we go from the worst forward line in years (ie the one we fielded today) to perhaps our best ever.

Why the hell would you take football advice from a wall?

Scrayon?

I'll listen to Terry Wallace's drafting tips right after I finish my book on Hitler's Advice for World Peace. Godwin's Law hread

So this is what it's like to play against a team with no structure, no run and no fitness.

I didn't know a bottomless pit could experience chaos.

Maybe he needs to play against Nathan Lovett-Murray every week then.

This is a man who knows the rules.

The fact that Cook hasn't got a game when practically everyone else has says to me that Neeld and co are not just blindly playing players "just to get games into them," which can only be a good thing.

What about Paul Roos who at least one commentator heard screaming to Leo Barry (I think) "do NOT kick a goal" in the NAB Cup one year? Surely that's tanking, even if the supposed "benefits" of tanking in the NAB Cup are much lower than in the regular season. If Melbourne has done it, then the following clubs have also done it: Carlton Collingwood Fremantle (thanks Redleg) Hawthorn Melbourne Sydney West Coast Feel free to add to the list.

How does an injury like this occur? You see ultramarathon runners with knees that are in much better shape than some AFL players. So is it luck, genetics, the kind of stress AFL places on the knee (like constantly changing directions), or something else entirely?

TLDR, but this part made my day!

I'm willing to bet that this is exactly what will happen. Great thread OP. Everone who's not with us can just take the first train straight to Hell! GO DEES!

I think that if any conspiracy exists, it has been initiated by people who support Neeld and want to get the old administration out of the club. Everyone knows that the AFL will never admit that tanking exists, because of the inevitable blowback that would occur. I put it to you that a number of players who were agitating for Schwab's dismissal a couple of years ago (Jared Rivers I know was one of them), have orchestrated a penalty-free way of throwing shite at those administrators who were (and perhaps still are) interfering with on-field matters. This cohort of dissatisfied MFC loyalists have used On the Couch as a decidedly public forum to attack the existing members of the administration, in an attempt to once and for all eradicate the last vestiges of the amateur culture that has pervaded this club for nigh on fifty years. I'm willing to bet that the AFL will not impose any sanctions, that Neeld will not be fired, and that the current CEO and President will both be sacked. We will finish either second last or third last, and pick up a number of hard-working, mature, disciplined players. We will overturn our list and board, and finally remove every soft, amateur mind from the bowels of our great club. Neeld will remain; the Melbourne Football Club will grow strong, and everyone else can just eat _shit_ and die.

But McDonald and Grimes have been playing in the backline instead of the forwardline and the midfield, respectively. By your logic, they too have been extremely disappointing. Could it be that you are holding Watts to an unrealistic standard?

Jaded has probably "raised the white flag" about a hundred times this season. But she's also backed up and gone to the footy every week also. Sometimes her kind of "just shoot me and get it over with" humour can be a bit on the nose, but I guarantee that if Jones did leave, she and her scarf would be front row centre at the G in round one next year.

And also that anyone who does pull their weight doesn't do it consistently. If Jones gets six votes every week, someone has to get five, but it's obviously not the same person every week.

That's a lot of votes. With a conservative estimate of 3 votes a game, Jones should crack the 200 this year. What's the highest tally someone's had for this award?