Chook

"Who shall we pick at <Random Draft Number x>? Is it [unknown Teenager #1], [unknown Teenager #2], or that cult favourite [unknown Teenager #3]?

When my cousin and I were very little, we ran around at a New Years' party drinking all the open cans of coke thinking they were there for the taking. Eventually it dawned on me that we might be stealing other people's drinks. But we still did it anyway.

I reckon Max Gawn could have an All-Australian year if he plays every game like he did that day in Geelong. So I'll say: GAWN!

That photo is in some dire need of treatment by the Ministry of Truth. There is an unperson ruining it with his nonexistence.

That's where you're wrong. They mean every single victory we've ever had, when after each we've sung that song with those lyrics. Think of it. EVERY SINGLE WIN. Stynes sang those words, Flower sung them. Barassi sang them. Neitz sang them. Jones sings them. It's a new set of lyrics that would mean zilch.

I would drink my coffee out of that cup every single day.

Well the first trick is to not die; it dramatically worsens your speed.

Let me know when he sells his house in Melbourne. Then I'll start worrying.

That's just asking for a double-knee reco in the first nanosecond of preseason.

Don't worry. It'll all be for 22nd century gain.

Ok now I'll say it: "I wish we'd picked Ollie Wines."

I wish anyone who gets an opportunity to play for their childhood team every bit of luck. Especially if it gets horrendous disposal out of my backline.

I like the way he goes about it.

Your average footy player barely gets past 'Spot.'

That is like a snake eating itself. You could just go on and on looping around to the top again and never get anywhere, kind of like a snake that's eating itself. Let's call it the snake. Which is eating itself. You know what that post is like....?

I honestly completely forgot he ever played for them.

Let's. It's probably gone by now anyway.

I first joined in 2007, and since then I've spent way too much time here. I should hope and pray for continued mediocrity from my footy club, because if we ever get any good I don't know how I'll accomplish anything at all.

I have to admit I had him pegged in the Frawley basket. I felt that he was the person Roos was always thinking of when he talked about mental scars, and I felt certain he'd want out. Very glad to be proven wrong. His 2013 was extremely good. Hopefully he can get back to that form sometime in the next three years.

That's a little homophobic. Of course, this isn't the forum for airing that sort of thing anyway. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Back then, Moses did the top 50. But really everyone only cared about the top 10, which he carved in stone.

I defended him. But then, I also defend Dawes.

I think that when we finally win a modern-day premiership, it will revitalise the meaningful nature of our history. No longer will it be something we did a very long time ago in a totally different world; it will be a rich testament to our ability to succeed for over a hundred years. Win another one and the rest will gain new life.

Now that IS a horrifying stat. At least I've only had to sit through four of them. That was more than enough for me.

How are we supposed to equalise a competition when everyone involved in it just wants success, and damn the money?