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The No T$ No B$ Thread

Redleg
in Melbourne Demons

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Couldn't be, there are no frogs in Canterbury Victoria, they are not allowed entry.

Not frog - hypno-toad.

Actually, a hypno-toad or three in Canterbury would explain a lot.

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    My Xmas Message to Tom Banana Fritter and his old man.

    ....................../´¯/)

    ....................,/¯../

    .................../..../

    ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸

    ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\

    ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')

    .........\.................'...../

    ..........''...\.......... _.·´

    ............\..............(

    ..............\.............\...

    A true work of art!!!

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    Happy New Year to all Demonlanders and especially to readers of this thread. There is so much about the Dees that doesn't involve T$ anymore that we will have lots to discuss next year. For example the movie "Warhorse", is a good family movie, if you can ignore the dramatic music.

    Speaking of horses I have two runners today, No Dispute at Stony Creek at 3.20 and Noble Game at Cranbourne at 6.21. I make no predictions and note that both having their first start back from spells will be improved by the run and in relation to Noble Game, the distance should be far too short for him.

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    Can also recommend The Ides of March if anyone hasn't seen it. Gosling and Clooney. Four star political drama.

    Four stars is generous.

    Cliched nonsense for the most part.

    Some good politics and then they said "f*** it, let's just churn out the 'sex with intern [censored]' that we always do" halfway through.

    2 stars from rpfc.

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    Have those horses finished running yet?

    Very good run by both on their way to the longer distance races. Both will win, barring injury, when their fitness improves and the distance suits.

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    I would like to see a short history of the GWS so far. Would make for interesting reading.

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    What history?

    Apart from some Mickey Mouse stuff in the NEAFL last year, they don't have no history to speak of other than the subterfuge involving people we're not allowed to mention around here.

    Fair enough but why not just invent some of their history?

    After all, everything else about GWS is fake and contrived.

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    ORANGE AND CHARCOAL - Recollections and tales of a tragic football club

    Chapter One

    Saturday, March 3, 2012

    The Virgin Australia airlines jet bound for Launceston was sitting idly on the Sydney tarmac. The afternoon was hot and the acrid scent of avgas pervaded the air causing discomfort to the passengers who waited nervously for the pilot to get them under way. As it was, the plane was already 15 minutes late when the final call was made for the passengers who had failed to check in for the flight.

    There were three of them; all playing members of the new AFL franchise team on the way to its first fully fledged match, a NAB Cup round game at Aurora Stadium against the Hawthorn Football Club but not one of them would make the flight down south.

    Two weeks earlier, the Greater Western Sydney Giants were due to make their debut in AFL company at Blacktown International Sportspark in the heartland of the western suburbs of the country's most populous state but the three way half-game competition also involving Collingwood and the Western Bulldogs was abandoned in unusual circumstances due to a bomb scare.

    The call received at the state's essential services department suggested that an explosive device had been planted in the visitor's room and set to detonate at half time. The Giants were losing their first game by 73 points at that stage.

    A hastily convened meeting of the AFL Commission declared all three scheduled fixtures as "no games" and awarded maximum points to the clubs involved and so for a brief period, the fledgling Giants were perched on top of the NAB Cup table, albeit equally with two other clubs.

    There was no bomb and authorities traced the call to an unidentified mobile phone located in the official AFL Commission box at the ground but there was insufficient evidence to make an arrest. Video footage which showed a dark, swarthy individual of heavy build making a call was inconclusive and, in any event, lost before it could be examined by forensic experts. All records of the first part of the game played before proceedings were called off for the evening were erased, the Fox telecast which was mysteriously jammed after Collingwood's fifth goal was never replayed and cannot now be located in either Foxtel or AFL archives.

    Now, as the GWS team manager waited nervously at the Virgin desk for a sight of his three missing footballers, he recalled an interview conducted for Fox Sports News and aired that morning. One of the three, a high priced recruit from a rival club who had been ruled out of today's game with knee soreness, had been asked what he was planning to do on this trip to Launceston and the answer was somewhat baffling at the time.

    "Nothing really, just having a look around".

    The team manager peered down at his copy of the Sydney Daily Telegraph, turned to the sports pages and his face turned to white at the sight of the headline announcing the impending birth, scheduled for the 2013 season, of the AFL's new Launceston franchise, the Lyre Birds.

    Beads of sweat were pouring down his back by the time he dialed the number of the team's coach who he knew would be reclining at that very moment in business class row two on the window side.

    "Kevin, we have a problem".

    "What is it now. We haven't left the marshmallows behind, have we?"

    "No. Much worse than that. Where's Phil?"

    To be continued ...

    I've just realised that I should have done an introduction or a preface so that can come next but in the meantime, if someone could do a foreword, this would be appreciated.

    Then we can have a crack at workshopping chapter two - the arrival at Launceston Airport.

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    Brilliant stuff, Whisperer.

    I am confused, though, as to who could the dark, swarthy individual of heavy build possibly be?

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    Can't wait for chapter 2, it is my new holiday reading.

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    A between chapter poll:

    Which is worse:

    a) seeing/hearing Kevin Sheedy in any form of the media

    b seeing Warnie and Hurls kiss in public AGAIN

    c) banana fritters

    Stirling read WJ

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    My attempt at the opening words of the preface by Sir Les Pattinson FMD

    "Never before in the annals of Australian literature has there been an historical narrative dealing with sport so stirringly and emotionally recounted than Orange & Charcoal - Recollections and tales of a tragic football club."

    Please add as you see fit ...

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    The preface comes before Chapter Two.

    We also need to beef up the foreword. I thought you were good at that sort of stuff Redleg?

    Have done my back and in pain and can't think or write. Struggling to read, though that has always been a problem.

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    ORANGE AND CHARCOAL - Recollections and tales of a tragic football club

    Chapter One

    Saturday, March 3, 2012

    The Virgin Australia airlines jet bound for Launceston was sitting idly on the Sydney tarmac. The afternoon was hot and the acrid scent of avgas pervaded the air causing discomfort to the passengers who waited nervously for the pilot to get them under way. As it was, the plane was already 15 minutes late when the final call was made for the passengers who had failed to check in for the flight.

    I'd be a worried passenger/pilot if the re-fueller had loaded the jet with Avgas. ( Designed for piston engines, jets run on avtur or JetA1)

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    Have done my back and in pain and can't think or write. Struggling to read, though that has always been a problem.

    If you were one of your horses Redleg!!!!!

    You would...........

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    Have done my back and in pain and can't think or write. Struggling to read, though that has always been a problem.

    These things happen.

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