Oh heck look at this!

12 hours ago, hemingway said:

Don’t get me wrong I love the loyalty of Old Dee and even Old Bitters whose spunk is clearly waining but who reluctantly posts to maintain relevance. Rakeleg invented the thread and regards it as some authorative source or text like Mabo. 

Others drop in for a titillating massage but are eventually disappointed with the unsatisfactory ending. 

All things must end like life and civilisation. 

There is a higher authority in things, in this case WJ. 

Gentlefolk, we cannot control much in this life, in fact we cannot control anything. 

Things must change, things do change. 

Very soon your mortal bodies will be dust and this thread forgotten in the mist of time. We will not be remembered or our posts. 

So submit yourselves to the end. 

Celebrate change, new life and new beginnings just as you will do in your next life. 

Ernest I have only one question in relationship to this rambling story.

How much rum had you consumed before it's creation?

10 hours ago, Whispering_Jack said:

The big question is where is Mr. Leg at what should be his moment of triumph?

My information is that he has, as Ernest implied, hit the wall and fled the jurisdiction; that he is on a vessel travelling the high seas with a rod in his hand in true Hemingway fashion. I can picture Ernie's next novel on the bookshelves at my local bookstore - "The Old Man and The Sea - Part 2".

A truely sad state of affairs that Mr. Leg is on the high seas pray he acquires internet connection in time.

PS which of the seven seas is he currently traversing?

10 minutes ago, old dee said:

A truely sad state of affairs that Mr. Leg is on the high seas pray he acquires internet connection in time.

PS which of the seven seas is he currently traversing?

It then fall upon us to seas the day OD as Red has obviously sqidded his duty . Mr Leg is confusing the seasuns surely.

6 minutes ago, beelzebub said:

It then fall upon us to seas the day OD as Red has obviously sqidded his duty . Mr Leg is confusing the seasuns surely.

When the going gets tough the tough get going bb.

14 hours ago, pineapple dee said:

I have denigrated this thread a couple of times. It took me a while to get the gist of it. I just thought the contributors were a little off the grid and a tad peculiar. I've just arrived in the midst of banana land and thought I'd put in my two penneth's worth. 

Just a question. Is page 1000 only open to the select few or can any mug have a crack at getting on it. ??

ps Signorellis in Balwyn are unloading ' experienced ' bananas for $ 2 per kilo if you get in quick. ( and they've got some lovely Italians ladies on the till ) 

There's a gist? Demented ramblings perhaps, but a gist!

9 minutes ago, ManDee said:

There's a gist? Demented ramblings perhaps, but a gist!

Philistine!

On a different note, I'd like to inform my faithful readers of a new (and never to be repeated) experience that befell me on Saturday last.

I made my first ever trip to aami Park to attend ……………………. wait for it ……………… "Monster Jam"

A truly memorable couple of hours.

1 hour ago, old dee said:

Ernest I have only one question in relationship to this rambling story.

How much rum had you consumed before it's creation?

No Old I quit rum and other hard licquor many years ago. How do you think that I reached such an old and venerable age. Despite Uncles comments I am fit in both spirit and body. 

Your earnest fightback Old is admirable. Enough to keep the thread going for a little longer. I am prepared to concede defeat. My only problem is that it allows Uncle to ventilate his deviant thoughts and fantasies. 

Do you think you could moderate your banana boasting comments? 

 

2 minutes ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

On a different note, I'd like to inform my faithful readers of a new (and never to be repeated) experience that befell me on Saturday last.

I made my first ever trip to aami Park to attend ……………………. wait for it ……………… "Monster Jam"

A truly memorable couple of hours.

Now that’s irony

45 minutes ago, old dee said:

Philistine!

Is that near Cairo?

 

BINGO!

Edited October 21, 20187 yr by ManDee

I have a question on etiquette about which I feel someone here may be able to advise. Just for background, I was raised a good catholic. Mum told me ' Never tell a lie'. Dad told me ' Always speak well of people'  All this makes it very difficult to talk about certain people.

One thing they both insisted on was courtesy. Fair enough ! Last week when I was in the fruit shop, my access to the bananas was blocked by a woman of a certain age. I looked at her and said as politely as I could ' Excuse me, madam ' 

She turned on me and gave me this look as if to say ' Madam, you're calling me madam ???? !!!!! ' 

Then she stomped away in a huff. 

What the hell should I have said?? What do I say in future??

22 minutes ago, hemingway said:

No Old I quit rum and other hard licquor many years ago. How do you think that I reached such an old and venerable age. Despite Uncles comments I am fit in both spirit and body. 

Your earnest fightback Old is admirable. Enough to keep the thread going for a little longer. I am prepared to concede defeat. My only problem is that it allows Uncle to ventilate his deviant thoughts and fantasies. 

Do you think you could moderate your banana boasting comments? 

 

I like uncles ramblings it reminds me that the world is inhabited by numerous types. Your last request is falling on deaf ears. 

2 minutes ago, pineapple dee said:

I have a question on etiquette about which I feel someone here may be able to advise. Just for background, I was raised a good catholic. Mum told me ' Never tell a lie'. Dad told me ' Always speak well of people'  All this makes it very difficult to talk about certain people.

One thing they both insisted on was courtesy. Fair enough ! Last week when I was in the fruit shop, my access to the bananas was blocked by a woman of a certain age. I looked at her and said as politely as I could ' Excuse me, madam ' 

She turned on me and gave me this look as if to say ' Madam, you're calling me madam ???? !!!!! ' 

Then she stomped away in a huff. 

What the hell should I have said?? What do I say in future??

Get out of the bloody road you banana hater.

Well we have breached a landmark that has never been achieved before and probably never will again. The sad part is the creator is nowhere to be seen. Hooray for insanity long may it reign.

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

On a different note, I'd like to inform my faithful readers of a new (and never to be repeated) experience that befell me on Saturday last.

I made my first ever trip to aami Park to attend ……………………. wait for it ……………… "Monster Jam"

A truly memorable couple of hours.

Who....are ....you ?

and what have you done with the ( here fellow readers I fall short of adequate description. I was leaning towards...the 'q u e e r  one' but in this day and age that has a newer meaning that's tran-scended its original...just like Fred's gay old time...but then who knows )

Monster Jam.... sounds a horrid concoction. Does one spread it on toast I wonder.

Edited October 22, 20187 yr by beelzebub

31 minutes ago, pineapple dee said:

I have a question on etiquette about which I feel someone here may be able to advise. Just for background, I was raised a good catholic. Mum told me ' Never tell a lie'. Dad told me ' Always speak well of people'  All this makes it very difficult to talk about certain people.

One thing they both insisted on was courtesy. Fair enough ! Last week when I was in the fruit shop, my access to the bananas was blocked by a woman of a certain age. I looked at her and said as politely as I could ' Excuse me, madam ' 

She turned on me and gave me this look as if to say ' Madam, you're calling me madam ???? !!!!! ' 

Then she stomped away in a huff. 

What the hell should I have said?? What do I say in future??

Understandable predicament. 

Pineapple (now there's a fruit) you are one of a dying breed, respectful. It should be a catchphrase for this entire site. 

The Madam thing is confusing, just like opening a car door or giving way in a lift.  However, increasingly, in our politically correct society, respectful behaviour becomes insulting behaviour. 

In your case, I would have asked the good lady whether she had tried the bananas recently. 

Other suggestions for building rappore and politely ensuring she gives ground would be ask questions such as; 

Are they in season ? When are they ripe for eating? Have you tried any lately? Are the big ones or the little ones the tastiest? How long do the hard green ones take to ripen? 

Perhaps just say that as a Pineapple lover you are out of your depth on the banana front and would she have any recommendations?

Or simplest of all, just ask the greengrocer in a loud voice, "excuse me, I cant see the bananas. can you tell me whether you have any in the shop. 

Oops., I just realized that I have become sympathetic to Old Dee's defence of the humble banana. Please refer all future questions to the OD and other banana lovers who want to share their messianic message on the physical and spiritual benefits of this talisman.

 

well now that we have made this momentous milestone (ironically by ernie trying to shut it down) i feel it is somewhat of an anti-climax. there was no flashing lights, no great explosions and no phonecalls from the media

sometimes the chase is more exciting than the conclusion. I hope it is different when we win our next flag 

1 hour ago, Bitter but optimistic said:

On a different note, I'd like to inform my faithful readers of a new (and never to be repeated) experience that befell me on Saturday last.

I made my first ever trip to aami Park to attend ……………………. wait for it ……………… "Monster Jam"

A truly memorable couple of hours.

Is that what the servants remove from your toes after a pedicure, Uncle?

32 minutes ago, daisycutter said:

well now that we have made this momentous milestone (ironically by ernie trying to shut it down) i feel it is somewhat of an anti-climax. there was no flashing lights, no great explosions and no phonecalls from the media

sometimes the chase is more exciting than the conclusion. I hope it is different when we win our next flag 

Reminds me of that Peggy Lee song " Is that all there is"

Mr Leg where the hell are you?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot. In more ways than one.

1 hour ago, old dee said:

Mr Leg where the hell are you?

 

No No No!!

3 hours ago, daisycutter said:

well now that we have made this momentous milestone (ironically by ernie trying to shut it down) i feel it is somewhat of an anti-climax. there was no flashing lights, no great explosions and no phonecalls from the media

sometimes the chase is more exciting than the conclusion. I hope it is different when we win our next flag 

I graciously conceded Daisy. Just don’t shoot the messenger. A lift in post standard is required so that life doesn’t revolve around chats about bananas. A little more imagination is required otherwise the number of posters visiting this place will dissolve like an over ripe banana. 

We have been given a reprieve by his Gracious Highness WJ and his coterie of faithful priests. I suspect that no further warnings will be issued and unless there is a lift in interest this thread will self destruct or posters will have the rug pulled. 

The silience from Mr Leg is deafening. This does not bode well. Unless we hear from him by the end of the week,  I would suggest the future of this thread be revisited. As the originator if this thread he should have final call on it’s future. Unless of course one views the continued existence of this thread as a charitable way to look after the mental health of OD. He did seem to go into meltdown over the possibility of boning this thing.